“And coffee,” Mary added as she clicked on the light and blinked at the sudden brightness.

  “Coffee goes without saying.” Deidre reached over to pull up her computer, a sure sign that she was heading straight into the rabbit hole of travel reviews.

  Throwing off her sheets, Mary wore a pair of panties and a t-shirt. She grunted as she crawled into a bath instead of a shower. She’d left the door open so Deidre could talk to her.

  With her head resting on the cool ceramic of the lip and the hot water massaging her toes as it came out of the faucet, Deidre showed up with her computer in hand and sat on the toilet lid. “Found it.”

  “Coffee?”

  “Sort of. Listen to this. Just up the road, two hours is a ski resort.”

  “Nice. I bet there’s a cute little restaurant and beautiful views. If we left now, we’d be up there to see the sunrise.”

  “Better. There’s skiing.”

  “It’s the second day of September at the end of the hottest summer on record.”

  “There’s skiing. I kid you not.” Deidre held back the curtain of hair on either side of her face as she leaned over the screen, reading. “You just have to get out on the hill by seven.”

  “Okay, you know how to ski. You do that. I’ll sit very still and enjoy the view.”

  “You know how to ski. You took lessons last year.”

  “I was flailing around on the hill where the toddlers learn.”

  “Look.” Deidre turned her computer screen. “Toddlers in shorts and little helmets. Aren’t they adorable?”

  “There are no parents in that picture.”

  “I’m sure they’re just out of the lens. It says it’s says there’s a green slope. That’s a step above the potato patch. Still a bunny slope, though.”

  “I don’t have ski clothes.”

  She flipped to another picture to show Mary. A group of women in string bikinis that matched their ski boots, long flowing blond hair, and aviator glasses posed near the lodge. “Perfect tans. It says that skiing with the reflection of the sun on the surface means you get a full tan while exercising and having fun.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know …”

  “Listen to me. Usually, it’s you who's doing the pushing. It’s my adventure, so I feel not only entitled but also that it’s compulsory for me to do the same for you.”

  “To me.”

  “For you. We are so darned used to being mothers, to thinking through every possible bad scenario so we are prepared to handle it, to corralling and cheerleading and cajoling.”

  “Cajoling, like you’re doing now?”

  “No, I’m pushing. We promised to help each other through this transition.” She held up a finger to tick off her points. “We will try things that we think are for other people, not us. We will dare to fail and look stupid, so we have some personal grace to build new expertise. We will exercise our spontaneity muscle. See! See how great we did? I got the call, come and bring your friend. I knew exactly whom she meant. I knew my brother would hand me his points. And here we are, we embrace the possibilities!”

  “Holy shit, do you hear yourself?”

  “Sadly, I do. But I will remind you that I am paraphrasing you after you read that scientific study about word pairing.”

  It was true. Mary had gone on a whole rant while Deidre had listened patiently through all of it. Mary was in her final class before her final exam in nursing school when her professor wanted to explain why women made up ninety-eight percent of the class.

  Where were the men?

  In the darkened auditorium, the professor asked the students to do a simple task. On the screen, a word or a name would show up. If it was a man’s name, they were to say left. If it was a woman’s name, they were to say right. If it was a scientific word, they were to say left. If it was a word associated with the home, they were to say right.

  The hypothesis was that there were word pairings, things that “just went together,” without any thought, ketchup and mustard, cloak and dagger, king and queen. When we form a word pairing in our minds, it was hard to break free from putting those things together.

  So, the words started flashing, too fast to think. It was a reflex that had Mary’s mouth saying, Stan left, Lab left, Kevin left, computer left, Pam right, laundry right, algorithm left, along with the more than one hundred students.

  Never a hitch. Never a mistake.

  “Now,” the professor had said, “we’re going to do it again. This time, I want you to make one change. The category for things associated with the home will go on the left with the male names, and the scientific words will go on the right with the female names.”

  The words flashed. They all made mistakes, hesitated, whispered their answers where they had shouted them out with conviction in the last iteration. As the words kept coming, at first, Mary thought everyone, including her, was doing poorly on this task because they had just trained in the opposite way. The words kept coming. And once they’d been twice as long in this new configuration, they should be improving. They weren’t. They were getting worse. It was almost impossible for Mary to say Bob left and diaper changes left while putting Claudia on the right was easy. Putting the test tube over there had her stuttering.

  Mary walked away from that experiment enraged.

  All of her life, boxes.

  All of her choices seemed to be a result of society funneling her down to a predetermined place, and she had no freedom of choice.

  Nursing suddenly lost its appeal when one of the times they had all successfully categorized: “Theresa right. Nursing right.” The whole class was stunned. Three more words passed, and the professor had to roll her hand and say “left” to get the student body participating again.

  It was at that moment that Mary knew that with her nursing exam complete, she would not follow the funnel. She was going to break free. She took a job in the Emergency Department to learn how to handle nursing under high pressure—high stakes. The mother of two (basically three, counting Deidre’s son) wild gorilla boys who loved nothing better than to test out Darwin’s survival theory, Mary found that she was good in that setting. But the next goal was to become a medical evacuation nurse, going to accidents to support the extractions and flying critical patients from small rural hospitals to larger trauma centers in the city.

  Take that, society!

  Not only that, but she wondered what other things she’d missed out on in her life because she thought they were only for “other people.” What fun things might be for her, too?

  She liked to sing. She sucked at it. But why couldn’t she learn?

  She liked to paint. She extra sucked at it. But why couldn’t she learn?

  She had always found pole dancing to be beautiful and athletic. In her word pairing paradigm, pole dancing was for strippers and loose women. But why couldn’t someone who just liked the art form of pole dancing and wanted a more interesting way to build upper body strength than doing bicep curls? Yup that darned pairing crap was holding her back. She’d decided right then that she would look up local classes and swing from a pole.

  She went. She sucked. It hurt like hell.

  But when she figured out how to do a move, victory was so sweet.

  And that’s when Mary made up a new rule. If she thought something looked fun, no matter who it was “made for,” the athletic girl, or the talented guy, or the math genius, whatever. Whatever pairing of words that tried to stop her from even trying, she’d try. Not once, but twenty times. As a matter of fact, Mary had yelled at Deidre, I will find twenty things to try twenty times.

  Sipping a Margherita, Deidre had lounged back on the couch, watching Mary pace back and forth in her living room. “Why twenty?”

  “I pulled that number out of my rear. Maybe because the boys are turning twenty. And,” she held up a finger, “and twenty times will make it a habit to look for things that might be fun. And,” she thrust that finger toward Deidre, “Twenty times will let me know if I really don’t like something or that I just didn’t want to go through the pain and humiliation of wobbly first giraffe steps.”

  “Hear, hear!” Deidre had raised her glass. “And don’t get pissy when I hold you to that.”

  “I do think, actually. I’m tired of meeting people when the only stories I have to tell are me watching from the sidelines. And you’re absolutely right that we were going to support each other out of that by generating a bunch of our own stories. It would be fun to say I was skiing in Switzerland over the summer. And there’s no reason to tell them it was on the baby hill. Not many people can say that they skied the Alps in summer.”

  “That’s the spirit. Next cute guy who wants to buy you a drink, you can impress the shit out of him with that.”

  “I’m not in this to impress guys. I’m in this to stretch myself and figure out who the heck I am when I’m not ‘hey, honey,’ or ‘Mom!’ I need to be just me for a while until I get that figured out.”

  “I’m reserving our spots and boots. It says they only let so many people on the mountain.”

  “I can’t imagine that it’s going to be packed. Europeans are done with their summer vacations, and it’s a Monday.”

  Chapter Four

  September Third

  Helsinki, Finland

  “Halo?” Without moving from his position in front of the hotel room door, he extended his hand. “Welcome aboard. I’m Thorn Iverson.”

  “Halo St. John.” If ever a man was properly named, it was this Thorn Iverson bloke. With a few furs thrown over his shoulder and perhaps long braided hair instead of his tight military cut, Thorn could easily fill the Viking role in any movie. His grasp as they shook hands was confident with none of the bone-crushing grips Halo often received from men who wanted to make some point about their strength. Halo always read that move like a rowdy dog—all bark, no bite. Here with Thorn, though, or really any of the blokes at Iniquus, Halo didn’t pick up on any of the hazing, prove-yourself energy that tried to establish a pecking order. That might have something to do with the hiring process; each person was thoroughly assessed to ensure they deserved a place on the team.

  And Halo was as proud of making that cut as he was of becoming a Commando.

  “Command doesn’t mind throwing people in the deep end, understanding they already know how to swim and prefer it that way.” Thorn swept his gaze toward a door opening down the hall.

  “That’s me all right,” Halo said with a smile.

  “Cerberus is a tight team. You’ll enjoy working with them.” As an elderly couple left their room, heading toward the elevator, Thorn shifted his gaze back to Halo. “I bet you feel one limb shy without your dog by your side.”

  “It’s an odd experience. But Max’ll be back with me soon enough. Titus brought me up to speed on the Helsinki security overview. And my tasks with Mrs. Sutton this morning.”

  “He’s on the ferry back to Tallinn now. He’ll let us know if he learns of any concerns.” Thorn spoke with the kind of special operator’s timbre that was just loud enough to reach Halo’s ear and no farther. No one behind their hotel room doors would be able to pick up this conversation. “In the meantime, After I introduce you to Mrs. Sutton and you take over close protection duties, I’m going to grab some grub and then some shut-eye.” He looked at his watch. “She’ll be leaving in the next five minutes. The company sent a car. They’ve already pinged me that they’re waiting out front. I’ll forward the pictures of the driver and license plate to your phone. Did Titus go over the schedule with you?”

  “Affirmative.”

  “Okay, well, Mrs. Sutton will be at the office building until lunch. I’ll gather the luggage and meet you at the harbor. Our shirts will direct us to each other.” He lifted his arm.

  “It’s been an interesting learning curve using the navigation shirts.”

  “Nutsbe’s been on you to drink more water?”

  “As soon as I got off the plane,” Halo said with a grin.

  “Operators try to be camels. The doctors say that affects cognition. Command hones every plane to give us the edge. Once Nutsbe’s been in your ear, calling your attention to your hydration for a while, you’ll start making drinking a better habit. While it might feel a bit intrusive, trust the process.”

  “Even with that said, mate, I do see the benefits of the technology. Nutsbe programmed my route through the maze of the airport and getting here. I was able to move with relative ease.”

  “It’s a trust issue?” Thorn asked.

  “Exactly. But Titus was in the middle of a crowd, and I was able to walk right over to him without a clue what he looked like. I’m sure it will get me and Mrs. Sutton to you at the dock. What about her lunch? Does that happen at the meeting?”

  “There are restaurants on the ferry. She has reservations. She’ll linger over her food. Once we’re docked, we’ll get her from Tallinn harbor to the airport. It’s only a couple of miles. We’ll take a cab for that.”

  “All right.”

  “We get her on the plane, and this afternoon, we’ll be out in the Estonian bog. It’ll be a first for me. But I hear you have bogs in your part of the world?” Thorn asked.

  “There are bogs and fens on Snowy Mountain down in the southeastern part of New South Wales. I live—lived—close to Sydney. While I rock climb in the mountains, I’ve never explored that terrain. The bog will be new on me.” Halo tucked his chin. “Is there a specific reason for the bogs?”

  “The corporate planner hired a naturalist to take the group on a bog hike excursion during their retreat.”

  “Hike in a bog?” Halo scratched the side of his face. “These people are outdoor sports enthusiasts?”

  “Corporate executives.”

  Halo lowered his voice to a mere whisper. “Maybe what I’m imagining and how things play out here are different. But, from what I know of the bogs, that sounds problematic. How do you walk on a bog?”

  “That’s what we’re about to find out with our trial hike. If this works out, you and Max will be on the team that treks out with them.”

  Halo grinned. “A dog on the bog?”

  “Ha!” Thorn returned the smile. “From our initial research, we think it’ll be important to have a dog alert the team to concerning wildlife.”

  “Such as?” Halo crossed his arms over his chest, angling his chin.

  “Bears, wolves, moose.”

  “Moose, that’s an animal I’ve never seen in real life.”

  “I haven’t either. I’ve seen videos of them running, though, fast. And at six feet plus to the shoulders, nine hundred pounds, huge antlers, I wouldn’t want to upset one.” There was a flush of the toilet inside the hotel room. An interior door shut. “I understand your dog is getting his snake aversion training,” Thorn said as he stepped to the side of the door. “Good thing. You can add viper to that animals list. This afternoon’s trek out to the bog is part of our due diligence. Our task is to keep everyone safe and comfy. We plan and prep for any scenario.”

  “We’ll be following along the same route as with the executives?” Halo asked. Even the recent search and rescue of Mrs. Haze was a reminder that different routes meant different outcomes.

  “Same naturalist even, a seasoned guide named Marilin with over a decade of experience. I'm sure the executives won't be problematic if she can get whole classes of school kids in and out. Today, she’ll point out the dangers and talk through the strategies for keeping everyone safe and happy. It turns out that just yesterday, Marilin was hiking a travel blogger through the area for social media pictures, and the land he was standing on sank under his weight. She saved him by the straps on his backpack.”

  “Bigger question,” Halo said, “why couldn’t he save himself?”

  “I guess that’s something we need to ask Marilin. In the meantime, we’ve got Nutsbe ordering enough hiking packs that everyone shows up properly equipped and secured with both hip and sternal straps.”

  “Copy that,” Halo said as the hotel room door swung open. He took a pace backward so that Mrs. Sutton didn’t have two huge men looming over her as she came out into the hallway for their introduction.

  Thorn reached for her suitcase handle. “Mrs. Sutton, with Margot ill, may I introduce your new security?”

  ***

  Mrs. Sutton, dressed in a designer suit, balanced on pointy-toed stilettos that looked to Halo like torture devices. He was ready to lend an arm if she lost her balance or offer support if she started hobbling. Now, she was looking out of the office window, high above the famous Helsinki Senate Square, her gaze swept from left to right. “Lots of people out, enjoying the sunshine,” she said to Edvin Koskinen, the company’s vice president of finances, who was escorting her today.

  From what Halo could gather, there was some kind of merger on the horizon. And reading from Mrs. Sutton’s body language, she very much wanted it to go through.

  “We are all taking advantage of the sunshine and the mild temperatures,” Koskinen said. “In just a short few weeks, we will be in the dark and icy time of the year. It is very difficult on the psyche.”

  “Oh?” Mrs. Sutton blinked at him. “But Finland is listed as one of the happiest countries in the world. The happiest, am I right?”

  “We have that distinction, yes.” Koskinen smiled. “However, what an American hears when that phrase is offered is perhaps different than what is actually meant from that study.”

  “What do people in Helsinki do when it gets dark and cold?” she asked.

  “Many things. Come to this window over here.” He extended his arm to indicate the other side of the room. They moved toward it together. “You see there?” He pointed. “That building with the sinuous lines? This is our library. It is perhaps different from the ones you have. It is almost like a social center. There, you can check out not just books but tools for projects. There are sewing machine stations, 3D printers, sound recording booths, board games, video games, and many things to draw our people together. Otherwise, people stay at home and drink in their underwear.”