“What?” Rex chuckled. “He went to a dealership, got a test drive, got high on alcohol and drugs, went on a high-speed chase and was arrested?”

  “Three seconds, I’m not sure that actually counts for an entire chase.”

  “Still, doesn’t seem like something that would stop you from joining the force, BJ.”

  “Then we went looking for the high school kids. He turned off the lights and cut the engine, and we rolled to the end of the road. He told me I had to get out silently, and I did my best. When I shut the door, it barely made a click. But as we were sneaking over to where the teens hung out, my shoe was squeaking.”

  “Squeaking? I’ve seen this in a movie. The Aristocats. The butler did it, and they knew by the squeaking shoe. I always liked that character Thomas O’Malley, O’Malley the alley cat.”

  “I can see that. He was a do-gooder like you.”

  “Do-gooder, is that even a word?”

  “It’s the perfect word to describe you. Look, you’re lending your car to Kay, and you’re helping me drive it all the way home.”

  “I have four vehicles in Atlanta, I don’t need this one. And as for driving with you, well, that’s kind of selfish on my part. I like being with you, BJ.”

  I smiled his way. “But yes, the Aristocats. That’s exactly what I thought at the time. Sprat kept shooting me the evil eye, like I was squeaking on purpose. When a jackrabbit hopped out of the field across our path because I scared it with the squeaking, I said, ‘Look, if there were a bunch of teens down here, the rabbits would already be gone. No one’s out here.’ He was kinda ticked.”

  He sent one eyebrow up quizzically. “You didn’t trip over a dead body?”

  “Not that time.” I glanced down at the clock readout. “It’s getting on to lunchtime, did you want to do room service, or should we just pull through a fast food?”

  “Room service. Definitely room service.” He pointed. “There are some hotels just up the street on the left.”

  I clicked on the turn signal and downshifted as I slid into the turn lane.

  “Later, I want to hear more about the ride-along. I have a feeling that you're holding back the best part of this story.”

  2

  Tuesday

  When I arrived at Hooch’s there were two women outside in yoga pants chatting under the awning by my front door, hips resting against the wall.

  “They beat us here, but we’re not late,” Rex said, flicking a finger to the clock readout.

  I pulled into the spot in front and raised my hand their way then turned my focus to Rex. “Are you coming in or are you heading to my place to rest?” I released my seat belt. “Whatever you want to do is cool by me.”

  He sent me a slow smile with a touch of wicked. “Do I get free choice what happens next?”

  Zoop! That sent a rush of happy right to my doo-dah. “Work,” I said, with a pouty face.

  Rex pointed at Kay who was hop-skipping up the sidewalk with a grin on her face, clapping her hands with a high pitched squee that I could hear through the closed car doors.

  It was a pretty ride.

  I was a little jealous that I’d be back driving my Mini Cooper, though my Mini Cooper would probably save me from losing my license to a reckless speeding ticket.

  “Let me stay and give Kay a hug,” he said. “Then I’ll pick us up some grub and bring it back.” He cracked the door and put his boot onto the sidewalk. “I’m bettin’ you’re hungry since we ended up skipping the lunch part of our lunch date.”

  “Weeee!” Kate rushed up on tiptoes and stuck her head in the car. “Pooh!” she said as she pulled her head back out. “I didn’t realize it would be a shift.”

  “Shift?” One of the women by the door became instantly focused on Rex, taking a step forward, eyes wide, lashes fluttering. “Do you shift?”

  Rex paused with his hand on the door. “Me? When necessary, but I prefer to watch B.J. do it.” He turned to me when he said it and sent me one of those winks of his.

  Double zoop to the doodah.

  Man, I was going to have a hard time getting through work knowing what was waiting for me at the end of the night.

  The woman’s eyes flicked to me, she put out a momentary vibe of disappointment and sank back into the shadows.

  Weird. Just sayin’.

  “Why did you say pooh when you saw it’s manual, Kay?” Rex asked. “I didn’t even think to ask if you could drive one.”

  “I’ll teach her,” I said. “No problem.”

  Kay stopped blinking. She hard focused on me. “Yeah, no problem.”

  Okay, there was a problem. I was the one who tried to teach Kay to drive in the first place. We were about ten, and it seemed like a good idea… It was in a field and that scarecrow was fixable. And the picnic table, and the gazebo, and, okay, the dock, and the truck.

  All fixable.

  “It’ll be fine.” And then to distract, I turned to the women. “Hey there! I’m BJ, my friend Kay, and this is Rex Parker.” Rex didn’t get a descriptor because Rex’s and my relationship didn’t have a generic box to check.

  “I’m Farrah, and this is Luna.”

  “Barker, did you say?” Luna asked with more eyelash batting.

  “With a P. Parker.” I moved toward the bar door, key in hand.

  “Oh.” Her face drooped with disappointment.

  Double weird.

  When I turned, I found Rex squinting at me, like there was something just a bit off going on, and he was dancing on the wrong downbeat.

  “No clue,” I said using an eye roll and telepathy instead of actual words. If Luna was part of Farrah’s Hooch event, I wanted things to go smoothly.

  Rex walked in with us, then said, “I don’t want to interrupt your meeting. I think I’ll just mosey up the road and find something to eat and bring it back. Maybe to that place with the cardiac attack burgers you’ve been bragging about, BJ. What can I bring y’all?”

  My stomach growled. “Their cheeseburger meal, please.” I pulled out my phone and texted the name of the restaurant and address to him.

  “Me, too,” Kay added.

  “Good?” Luna asked.

  I heard a ding and Rex looked down at my message, giving me a nod.

  “The best.” I flipped chairs down from the table. Joe must have mopped the floor. I needed to put a bonus in his check. I hired Joe as my dishwasher, but he kept the whole place pristine.

  “I’m vegan,” Farrah said. “You know, nothing from an animal, not even a byproduct, no honey or soy sauce or cheese… Do you think they have something like that?”

  “I’ll find you something,” Rex told her. “Three cheeseburger meals and a vegan special. I’ll be back.”

  On the way out, he grabbed Kay into a bear hug. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” he said, dropping a brotherly kiss onto her head. “You gave me a scare.”

  She smiled up at him with a little bit of a wince. She was still sore.

  “Sorry. Are you okay?” he asked, looking contrite.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks for asking. My mother, on the other hand…”

  “I get that. Since my own little mishap, Granny’s been hypervigilant, too. It’s been a couple of months, and it still hasn’t worn off. Might as well hunker down for the long haul.” He raised his hand. “I’ll be back.” And out the door he went.

  I heard Joe come in the back. “Kay, can you get Luna and Farrah some drinks? I just need to go check in with Joe.”

  “Ladies?” Kay asked as I made my way to the kitchen in the back.

  Joe stood there next to my Rottweiler, Twinkles. Twinkles looked very Zen for Twinkles. Joe had that effect on dogs. Joe was for dogs what cat nip was for felines. Joe had kept Twinkles for me while I was down in Atlanta getting the car for Kay. I looked down at Twinkles then caught Joe’s eye. “Good?” I raised a questioning brow, lifting my thumbs to mime the conversation.

  Joe spoke Hungarian and little else. But we got by with miming and exaggerated facial expressions.

  Joe sent a smile to Twinkles then turned a sad eye toward the empty sink. Joe was happiest elbow-deep in suds. “I’ll have something for you to do soon.” I patted him on the arm. “Come on, Twinkles, let’s get you settled in my office.”

  As Twinkles jumped onto the couch and curled into a ball, I grabbed up my laptop and a pad and pen. I headed back to the meeting, leaving the door ajar so Twinkles could come and go as he pleased.

  Dragging a chair back from the table where Farrah was opening her laptop, I sat down. Luna was perched at the bar with a glass of white wine in front of her, talking to Kay.

  “Here’s my deal,” Farrah said. “I’m in the match-making business. I find the best way to make my business lucrative is through the power of lust.”

  “Oh,” I said, not quite sure how my little cop bar would play into her lust-scenario and hoped that whatever she was cooking up was within the boundaries of our decency laws.

  “While the evening is meant to profit me, this is the first speed dating event I’m trying out. As such, I’m paying you instead of charging you.”

  I smiled and picked up my pen, still not knowing what was going on.

  “You’re a beta experience. And if things go well, I’d appreciate a referral.”

  “And if things go badly?” I asked.

  “Then I’d appreciate it if you forgot that we had any contact at all.” Her laughter was girly and light. She was wearing a pink sundress, her black hair spilled down her back in loose ringlets. She made me think of picnics in a meadow surrounded by daisies, not a hard-driving businesswoman. Maybe this was some kind of disarming tactic.

  “Can you spell out what you’re thinking?” I asked.

  “Sure, my goal is to collect personal information about people who attend a social evening here at the bar. It’s five-minute rounds of speed dating. Individuals were sent invitations to come for the event.”

  “Which individuals?” Hooch’s didn’t seem the right kind of venue for speed dating.

  “Cops.” She smiled. “You run a cop bar. You’re perfectly located right up from the police station. I’ve invited police officers who could stop by right before their duty schedule starts and another batch of invitations went out for right after on-duty cops clocked out. We’ll have two waves back to back. I expect the house to be full to overflowing the entire evening. As we’ve contracted, I’ll be picking up the bar tab for the entire event. Though, I’m assuming it will be sodas for the officers who are in our first set.”

  “How did you identify the single officers?” I asked, thinking that getting my hands on that particular guest list might be a gold mine.

  “I didn’t,” she said. “I was looking for age ranges. I’m not interested in their relationship statuses.”

  Ruh-roh. Maybe Farrah should be a little more careful about those invites. Police wives and girlfriends (husbands and boyfriends) could be a might possessive. And as a certified badge bunny, I had gone out of my way to keep my reputation spotless. I simply won’t poach. If an officer even looks another woman in the eye, I move on. I’m not interested in playing with any of my sisters’ toys.

  Was this going to cause long term problems?

  “I, uhm, hmmm…” I stammered. “My reputation for being cop friendly and safe from conflict—"

  “Is there a problem there? The invitations went out from my business. Your business name and address are listed as the location.”

  Still…

  I had already signed the contract to rent my bar for an outside event. I guessed if need be, I could post a statement on Hooch’s website.

  Maybe it wouldn’t have any blowback.

  “So speed dating… to gather information. What kind of information?”

  “About peoples’ preferences and tastes.”

  “Why cops?”

  She leaned in conspiratorially. “There’s a certain segment of the dating public who has a thing for a man in a uniform. There is even a term for women who like to sleep with cops. They’re called ‘badge bunnies’.”

  “Really?” I asked, eyes wide.

  “Honest.” She raised her hand like she was taking an oath. “My job is to find the men who want to meet the women who will drool over them.”

  “You invited women who drool?”

  “Exactly. I’m a matchmaker.”

  “Do you have a good marriage rate?” I asked, wondering how that would be possible if she didn’t focus on singles.

  “Marriage? Oh no.” She laughed. “That’s not what my aim is. Continued sexual satisfaction is the aim of my company. If they get married, I might lose a client.”

  “Why did I think this was a gathering for chemists?” I asked myself under my breath.

  “That’s the name of my company. Chemistry.” She took a card from her wallet and passed it to me.

  I read: Chemistry: We have the formula for fantastic biology.

  Okay, that’s where I got confused. I had somehow walked away with biochemical engineering on the brain and had made sure Justice would be working that night so she could speak geek with them. Yup, I had totally envisioned a night of geekdom, not freakdom.

  I glanced down at her name and title. Farrah Mone. “I thought your last name was Monet,” I said, tucking the card into my legal pad.

  “That’s how I pronounce it. It’s a pain to put an accent on the e when typing, so I just take it off and roll with it.”

  “Ah.” I wasn’t quite following, but I wasn’t that worried about it. When I’d accepted the contract, it was to be an event venue. Next time, I’d know to ask more questions and not just assume it was another stag party.

  Justice would be working tonight, and I’d ask her to do a deep dive into Farrah’s company. Justice could find out just about anything on the computer. It was like having my very own intelligence service. Not that I used her skillset for anything nefarious, just generalized snooping.

  I looked up when the bell chimed. Tadger and his uncle pushed their way through the door. They stopped, looked around, then Tadger checked his watch. “You’re not open yet are you?”

  “Another forty minutes, but that’s no problem,” I said. “Come on in and make yourselves comfortable. Farrah,” I held my hand open toward her then gestured toward the men. “Here are two officers that might just like to play your game.”

  “What game is that?” Tadger asked, taking a stool next to Luna.

  I still wasn’t clear about why Luna was here. She might be part of the business. She could just be tagging along. I made my way to the other side of the bar to pour drinks.

  “I’m Tadger Merrymaker.” He sent Luna a wolfish grin, his amber eyes glowing predatorily. I knew that look. Tadger was on the prowl. And Tadger was good at the hunt. I’ve never seen a woman not fall under his spell when he got that look in his eye. He stuck out his hand for a shake.

  Luna focused down on Tadger’s big old paw and visibly swallowed. She placed her hand delicately in his as if she expected him to kiss the back princess-style instead of shaking like a normal person would.

  And then he did. Which…wasn’t very Tadger-like.

  “You know,” Tadger’s uncle Remus said, “Tadger is what my pa called his winker.”

  Luna shook her head like she was coming out of a trance and focused around Tadger onto the older man.

  Tadger and his uncle had the same massive build and strong jawline. Anyone who saw them would know they were family. But unlike Tadger, his uncle Remus’s mane of black hair was streaked with gray and combed straight back. Remus’s T-shirt was tight around a chest that showed, despite his age, Remus still hit the gym hard. On the bulge of his bicep, Remus had a tattooed scene of a wolf howling at a full moon. That’s where Luna’s focus rested.

  “His what?” Luna asked.

  “His winker,” Remus said. “His one-eyed pants’ snake.”

  “One-eyed...”

  “You know his joystick, his pecker.”

  “I...”

  “His penis, lass. Tadger is another name for dick.”

  “I expect Dick to come soon,” I said, setting out a bowl of bar snacks and peeking at the clock. “He’s getting off now.”

  “I give up,” Remus said and raised his chin my way. “A beer with a whiskey chaser, please.”

  “Sorry about that,” Tadger said quietly. “It’s my Uncle Remus’s day off. He started drinking earlier, and he’s had a little too much for a lady’s company.”

  Luna dropped her chin and batted demure eyelashes his way.

  I shot Kay a look so she’d be paying attention, and we could dissect this scene later. Tadger said “lady”. Tadger Merrymaker was wild. Like raised in the woods wild. It got him into trouble on the police force from time to time when he was in pursuit, and he let his hot bloodedness get the better of him. Tadger had been on my badge bunny hop list for a short time. He was a little more into the dominance thing than set right with me. To each his own. Personally, I didn’t “yes, sir” many people other than say my father…or judges.

  I set a shot of Badge Bunny Booze in front of Remus next to a stein of beer.

  “I’m sorry, did you say Remus?” Luna asked. “As in wolf?”

  Remus threw his head back and play howled.

  Yeah, I was cutting him off with this round. I had no idea how much he’d had to drink before he came into my bar. And I wasn’t going to be responsible.

  “Are you a Merrymaker, too?” Kay asked.

  “I do my best, lass,” Remus said.

  Out back the roar of motorcycle engines echoed up the alleyway.

  “There’s The Pack.” Remus downed the last of the beer, slung back the shot, and slapped a twenty onto the bar. With a parting pat on Tadger’s shoulder, he headed toward my kitchen and the alley door.

  Luna turned flirtatious eyes on Tadger. “You’re a police officer, is that right?”