She’d have been better off never knowing what it all felt like, and yet, she wouldn’t give it up now, not even if she would lose him in the end. For now, she understood what it meant to be adored, to be precious to someone. Everyone deserved to have someone look at them the way Skender looked at her. But then, maybe she didn’t because of her choice to assist the Order. Was her son’s life more important than the thousands that would be lost? Was it more important than the lives that had already been lost? She couldn’t answer those questions objectively. Torion was hers. He was the one good thing, the one thing untainted by anything evil. He was a part of her, the only part of her she didn’t loathe. Tenia reached out, her hand shaking a bit, and ran it down her sleeping son’s back. The warmth from his live, healthy body grounded her. She rested that same hand and watched the steady up and down motion of his breathing. Her eyes closed, and she focused on the sounds of the evidence of his life: his breathing, the feel of his heartbeat through his little body, the warmth of his skin through his shirt. He was alive, and for now, with Skender’s help, he was safe.

  As the tears slowed and her breathing began to steady, Tenia thought about what Skender had shared with her about his life. She wondered if whatever had happened to him, whatever magic had been used on his mind—because he hadn’t just erased those memories on his own—had caused his darkness to grow more quickly or more intensely. Could that explain the horrible things he claimed to have done? Or was it just the desperation that a Canis lupus has for the need of his true mate? She didn’t know, but it was something she was going to learn more about and quickly. The darkness inside Skender wasn’t going to turn him into a docile puppy. It would make him feral, and she shuddered to think what that might look like. She was also determined to find out what he had done. At first, she didn't want to know. But now, after getting to know him through the emotions that connected them in their bond, she needed to know. She needed to understand. Tenia had to know who her true mate really was.

  Chapter

  Eight

  “I know that I’ve said this before, but I’m pretty sure circumstances deem it completely necessary to say it again; the world has gone to hell in a handbasket, and I, for one, am ready to throw the damn handbasket off the highest cliff.” ~Jen

  * * *

  The Canadian pack beta was hot. Jen didn’t even try to censure her thoughts from her mate. In fact, the thought had come to her so quickly she wouldn’t have been able to block it even if she had tried. He was hot. There was just no other way to describe the biker-looking bad boy.

  “Sometimes I wish I could duct tape more than just your mouth.” Decebel said under his breath as they stood in the driveway of the large house that the Canada pack used as their headquarters.

  “You do duct tape more than my mouth,” Jen said, still not taking her eyes off biker boy. “Last time, it was my wrists. Before that, it was my—”

  “Enough.” Debel growled.

  “I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you must be the famous Jennifer Adams.” A petite female with sandy brown hair addressed Jen from where she stood sidled up next to biker boy. Jen looked at the girl and smiled when she saw the diamond stud in her nose. Any chick with a nose piercing was cool as hell in Jen’s eyes.

  Jen raised a brow at her. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say my gypsy healer BFF was running her mouth when she was hanging out with you newbies.”

  “It’s Jennifer Anghelescu,” Decebel said, his voice a little too gruff for Jen’s liking.

  Jen elbowed him in his side, which had no effect whatsoever. Stupid, super-strong werewolf butthead. “My mate has what’s called caveman syndrome,” she said. “I apologize for his inability to engage in pleasant conversation without pointing out as many times as possible all the ways that I belong to him.” She stepped closer and held out her hand. “You must be Kara. Sally speaks very highly of you.”

  Kara took Jen’s hand and shook it. When Jen released it, she moved her hand toward Kara’s mate, who she knew from Sally was Nick, aka biker boy. Jen shot Kara a wink while Nick simply stared at her hand. A second later, Decebel was beside her pushing her hand aside. “See.” Jen laughed. “Neanderthals, the lot of them.”

  Kara grinned. “Sally was right. You’re a mess.”

  Jen shrugged. “Someone’s got to keep the fur balls’ egos in check. I’ve appointed myself as the official ‘knock-the-male-werewolf-off-his-high-horse’ chickadee.” When Nick still hadn’t said a word she glanced at him and then back to Kara. “I see you’ve got yourself a real Chatty Cathy.”

  Kara shrugged. “Actually, I can’t get him to shut up. With this guy, it’s always ‘you don’t understand my feelings, why can’t you hear what I’m saying, I want to talk about us’ blah, blah, blah. Seriously exhausting.”

  Nick let out a sigh and crossed his impressive arms in front of his equally impressive chest. He turned his head slightly and cut his eyes down to look at his mate.

  Kara glanced up at him, and Jen could see the slight twitch on the female’s mouth as if she was trying hard not to laugh.

  “I get it. My mate”—she motioned toward Dec with a nod of her head—“he’s always going on and on about how we need better communication. I mean, hello? I told you I loved you when I mated you. If something changes, you’ll be the first to know. Mostly because you’ll be watching my fine backside walk away. Ya feel me?”

  “Totally understand,” Kara said.

  “I propose they are not allowed to be friends.” Nick finally spoke. He took his eyes from his mate’s and looked to Decebel.

  “Agreed,” the Romanian beta rumbled.

  “Is there an official contract you two need to sign for your decree?” Jen asked her mate.

  “If you consider having your fine backside paddled like an errant child a contract, then by all means.” Decebel held his hand out in front of him.

  Jen heard Kara’s sharp intake of breath. At the same time, Nick coughed, no doubt trying to cover up his own laugh this time.

  “I keep telling you if you’re going to make promises, you’d better be ready to follow through. I don’t want to hear any of this, ‘I have a headache, I’m too tired to spank you,’ crap.” She folded her arms in front of her, cocked a hip to the side, and narrowed her eyes on her too-hot-for-his-own-good mate.

  “Decebel, your mate’s reputation precedes her.” Another male voice joined them.

  Jen turned her head and saw a tall male with blond hair and—like all male Canis lupus—an impressive build walking toward them. When he was close enough, Jen saw that he had a wicked cool scar above his right eye, which only drew attention to the bright blue orbs.

  “Drayden,” Decebel said, bowing his head slightly. “It’s good to see you. This is my mate, Jennifer,” he motioned toward her. “Jennifer, this is Drayden, the Canada pack alpha.”

  Jen smiled politely. “Pleasure. Pray tell, what is it about my reputation that precedes me?”

  “Your inability to mince words,” Drayden answered. “It’s refreshing.”

  “Bullshit is for the type of people who like to keep secrets or lie,” said Jen. “I don’t have time for either. Though, I am learning to be a tad more polite when delivering my thoughts. Apparently, people have feelings, and I’m supposed to care about them.”

  The alpha’s head tilted back as he laughed. It was a big laugh that shook the massive male’s shoulders. The kind of laugh you couldn’t help but smile at because it was so infectious. Jen liked it, and she liked Drayden. He seemed genuine, which, to Jen, was one of the most important qualities a person could have.

  As Drayden’s laughter died down, he nodded at her. “Well, if we never agree on anything else, we agree on those points.”

  “Good enough for me.” Jen gave him a thumbs-up.

  The alpha sobered and looked back at Decebel. “How are things going?”

  Decebel took a deep breath, and Jen felt again the tension that had become a living thing inside of him. “He’s been fighting for three days,” her mate answered.

  Drayden’s eyes widened. “Constant?”

  Decebel nodded his head. “With the occasional short break to shove down some food. His mate is fit to be tied.”

  “He’s fought for seventy-two hours?” Kara asked, her voice filled with part awe and part worry. “Without sleep or rest?”

  “He’s wiping the floor with them,” Jen assured her. “Pissed-off alpha wolves are quite resilient.”

  “Have the rogue packs been abiding by the rules? Are any trying to interfere with the individual challenges?” Drayden asked. “Do you all need any reinforcements?”

  “Thank you for the offer,” Decebel answered. “But we have things covered for now. Between our own warriors and our other supernatural allies, some who are actually mated to a few of our pack members, we’ve been keeping things calm.”

  “Good,” Drayden said, his shoulders relaxing a bit.

  “As I mentioned on the phone, my alpha requested that my mate and I check in with all of the packs now that the mourning period is over,” Decebel explained. “Has there been any contact with the enemy?”

  Drayden shook his head. “It’s been quiet, which is almost more disturbing than if we’d been overrun with them.”

  Decebel made a sound of agreement. “Nothing worse than an enemy who doesn’t have the bal—” He paused, and Jen looked up to see him staring at Kara. “I mean, an enemy who doesn’t have the guts to step out of the shadows.”

  Kara snorted, obviously having noticed Dec’s hesitation to use what he would consider a vulgar term. “You don’t have to censor your words for me,” she said. “I grew up hearing much worse.”

  “That doesn’t mean you should continue to be subjected to crude language.” Decebel’s voice was gentler than it had been since they arrived. “You’re a female.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” the girl snapped, her back going ramrod straight as she started to move closer. Nick wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him.

  “Easy there, killer,” he said softly against her hair. “I know you’re tough, baby, but attacking the Romanian pack beta is just a no-no.”

  Jen snorted and leaned against her mate.

  “It means that you are precious. And I don’t know about the human males, but in our world, that means you are treated with respect and care,” Decebel replied, not phased in the least by the anger that had flared in Kara’s eyes. “Respect comes in many forms. I consider one of those to be using appropriate words when in the presence of a female, especially one I do not know.”

  Kara’s eyes moved to Jen. “Is he for real?”

  Jen tilted her head as she took in the girl. She guessed Kara to be a year or two younger than herself based on her looks, but she had the eyes of someone who’d seen way too much pain in her short life. “Does your mate use vulgar language around you?”

  Kara opened her mouth and then closed it a couple of times. Finally, she said, “Actually, no. I’m the one with the potty mouth. But I thought it was just a Nick-thing.” Her mate pressed his lips to her hair, and Jen’s lips turned up in a small smile. She liked seeing a male treat his mate like she was his whole world.

  “Nope.” Jen shook her head. “It’s a Canis lupus thing. Although”—she leaned forward and held her hand beside her mouth as if to whisper conspiratorially—“I’ve managed to push my male to the point of breaking his language barrier.” Jen sighed. “And I can’t lie. There is a sick satisfaction in knowing that I can get him to spit out a few timely swear words.”

  Kara relaxed back against Nick and chuckled. “I bet there is.” Her lips pursed. “I think I might have to try that out sometime.”

  “No.” Nick growled.

  “I swear I’m going to start carrying around a sign that says, ‘I’m not responsible for anything my mate teaches your mate,’” Decebel grumbled.

  Drayden shook his head. “Not going to lie, gentlemen, but I’m not really mourning the lack of a true mate at this exact moment.”

  Nick huffed. “You’ve been saying that since I brought Kara home.”

  This made Jen hold up a hand for the other girl to high-five. “Driving the fur balls crazy. You’re officially one of my people.”

  Kara slapped Jen’s raised hand and then reached up behind her and rubbed her mate’s shaved head. “See, someone appreciates the fact that I like to offer my opinion.”

  “I appreciate your opinion, just not always how you voice it.” Nick forced her to turn in his arms so that she faced him. He was so much taller than her that she had to tilt her head back to look up at him. “Remember? It's the whole timing thing.”

  “I remember,” Kara said. “I just don’t agree.”

  Jen sighed. “I’m liking her more and more by the second. Can we take her home?”

  “No,” Decebel groused dryly. “We are not collecting other females, even if you think they are ‘cool as shit and rock a nose stud like nobody's business.’”

  “Stop picking crap out of my head,” Jen warned.

  “And on that note,” Drayden spoke up, “would you guys like to stay and have a meal with us?”

  “We appreciate the invitation.” Decebel pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. “But we must make our way to each of the packs, and I’d like to get it done and return to Romania as quickly as we can.”

  “Understood.” Drayden nodded. “We’re here and ready when Fane calls.”

  “Thank you.” Decebel bowed his head again.

  “Kara,” Jen said, and the girl glanced over her shoulder at her. “When the dark lords of the world are frying like chicken in hell, we’ll have to have a girls’ night. Please accept the pre-invite I’m extending at this exact moment.”

  “Consider it accepted and penciled in on my calendar.”

  “You don’t have a calendar,” Nick pointed out.

  “That you know of,” Kara replied with a wicked gleam.

  “Why do you need a calendar that I don’t know of?” Nick grabbed her chin and turned her head back toward him.

  “For all the stuff. Right, Jen?” Kara asked, still looking at her mate.

  “Exactly. All the stuff. Girl stuff. Stuff that has nothing to do with mate stuff. Private stuff, you know? The stuff.” Jen shrugged.

  “Private stuff?” Decebel and Nick asked at the same time.

  Drayden sighed and turned back in the direction he came. “Again, not lamenting the lack of mate at this moment.” He waved over his shoulder.

  “What private stuff?” Decebel asked again. Jen knew she shouldn’t take such glee in poking him, but it was just too much fun.

  “You remember that mailman’s phone number?”

  “I threw it out,” Dec growled.

  “Not before I penciled it in on my calendar.” She laughed when she heard a string of cuss words in her mind through their bond. Yep, she totally knew how to make her gentlemanly mate become a foul-mouthed sailor.

  “This sounds like a story I need to hear,” Kara piped up.

  “If it involves Decebel’s mate having another male’s phone number, then you most definitely do not need to hear the story,” Nick said.

  Jen was about to address the male, but suddenly, a high fae stood in front of them.

  “Peri,” Jen said, studying the fae’s face. Peri’s features were a blank slate. Jen could no more read them than she could a wall covered in invisible ink. Still, she couldn’t help but stare at Peri as if she could somehow force her friend into spilling all of her secrets by sheer will alone.

  “Stop glaring at me, Jennifer,” Peri snapped.

  “Oh, busting out my full first name?” Jen practically sang. “Things must be going to shit fast in Peri-land.”

  “Hey, Peri,” Kara said. “It’s good to see you.”

  Jen had forgotten briefly that Kara had spent so much time with Peri because the high fae had been the one to find the five new healers and had protected them through all of the Volcan mess.

  “Kara, Nick,” Peri said, her voice formal and stilted.

  Jen glanced up at Decebel. His eyes were narrowed on the high fae, and a deep V marred his brow. It was his I’m-going-to-make-you-talk face.

  “You called?” Peri looked up at Decebel.

  The empty void Jen saw in Peri’s eyes was so shocking that she took a step away from the woman who’d become a dear, dear friend. Jen had not been prepared to see such a vacant look from one of the most passionate people she knew. It was as if something had reached inside of Peri and ripped out everything that made her who she was.

  “What the hell, Peri?” Jen breathed out. Her insides twisted like the mangled metal of a train wreck, which is what her friend looked like. There wasn’t a hair out of place. Her clothes, though not her typical wear, as she now sported a long, shimmering gown, was pristine and gorgeous. Jen catalogued everything about the high fae, right down to her beautiful nails. Everything was perfect. And yet, it was clear Peri was an absolute mess.

  “Where to next? Cyn didn’t tell me if you had an itinerary.” Peri ignored Jen’s shocked expression.

  “Peri, how are—” Decebel began, but she held up her hand to stop him.

  “I am here to do a job, Decebel, mate to Jennifer, beta of the Romanian pack. You need assistance getting from one place to another. That’s what I’m here to do. Nothing more, nothing less.” Her voice was so cold that Jen wanted to check the ends of her fingers for frostbite.

  “What the…” Kara muttered under her breath.

  Jen leaned around Peri so she could see Kara’s face. The girl’s eyes were wide, and she was staring at the fae as if Peri had grown a boob right on top of her head. Yes, Kara looked that shocked because, let’s face it, that’s a hell of a lot more shocking than growing an extra head. There’ve been instances of creatures born with two heads. But a person or animal born with a boob on their head? Nope. Hasn’t happened. And that’s just how effed up Peri appeared.