“What who is talking about?” Zara asked, because Jacquelyn had spoken her response out loud.

  “The ‘you know what they say’ statements,” Jen answered for her. Fane knew the girls had had this conversation in the past. It was a source of amusement for them, and he doubted it would ever cease to be.

  “I always wondered that, too,” Zara agreed.

  “Maybe it means the majority of people’s sentiment about whatever the subject matter is.” Titus walked over to his mom and placed a kiss on her stomach.

  Fane was as speechless as the rest of the room. It seemed the little boy would never cease to amaze them.

  “Taco, are you sure you aren't one of those people who is much, much older than they look?” Jen asked him.

  “Have you already ran out of “T’ names, Aunt Jen?” He grinned at her.

  “Taco is a perfectly acceptable name. Celebrities name their kids after food, numbers, and all manner of stupid crap, and people act like it’s not pretentious or ridiculous.”

  “That’s so true.” Sally tapped her lip. “Why is that?”

  Fane could tell they were about to get into the most important discussion of their lives, which would likely last all the way until midnight.

  He pulled Jacquelyn over to an empty chair and sat down, then lifted her and Slate into his lap.

  “Might as well get comfortable,” he whispered against her ear.

  “Agreed. This is about to get very deep.” His mate laughed.

  “As if you aren’t going to offer your two cents,” he said.

  “Uh, duh. I’ve got tons to say on this topic.” And she dove right into the conversation with the other females.

  Fane made eye contact with Decebel, who now held the sleeping Thia. He simply shrugged, causing the girl’s head to bounce a little, but she didn’t stir. Fane glanced at Adam, who was just as involved in the conversation as his mate, Crina. Fane chuckled as warmth filled him. He vowed then as he listened to their group argue about why people named their kids silly things that he would not allow all the trials coming to steal his joy. He would seize every second of the life the Great Luna had given him. And every morning that he woke up with another chance to make a positive mark in the world around him, he would give thanks to his Creator, no matter what he faced.

  “You are not alone, Fane Lupei.” The Great Luna’s voice filled his mind. “You will make mistakes, but you will stand back up, brush yourself off, and continue the work I have given you.”

  “Thank you,” Fane told her. “For my life. For my parents. My mate. My son and my pack.”

  The joy inside of him grew, and he felt the goddess’s own joy and love for her children. It was all-consuming and overwhelming. “Rest this night, alpha of alphas. I am with you always.”

  Chapter

  One

  “I spent much of my life thinking I was in love with a man that didn’t belong to me. I know now that what I thought was love was only infatuation, hero worship, and attraction. It couldn’t have been love because love does not seek its own selfish desires at the cost of someone else. I have a mate now. I don’t know him well enough to say that I love him. But I can say that I miss him. I long to be near him, to get to know him, and I now have hope that I will love and be loved in return.” ~Myanin

  Myanin hit the floor with a sickening thud. The breath whooshed out of her causing her stomach to contract as her lungs tried to suck much needed air into them. As soon as she tried to breathe in, a sharp stabbing sensation on her right side had her vision blurring. Do not pass out, she snapped at herself as she forced her body to roll over and pushed to her feet. Despite the various bruises, aches and pains she managed to make it up in a seamless motion. She blinked several times, attempting to clear the black dots that seemed to be in her eyes ever since she’d taken a blow to the head an hour earlier. A conversation she’d had with Tenia only a few days prior filled her mind as she bounced on the balls of her feet and tried to will away the pain.

  “Being human sucks troll ass,” Myanin huffed as she leaned against a tree, her arm wrapped around her midsection.

  “How would you know? You sucked on any troll butts lately?” Tenia asked as she pushed Myanin’s hand away and pressed hers to the same spot.

  “I know that when I was djinn, I didn’t walk away from a fight wondering if there was any internal damage that might kill me before you could get to me.” Healing warmth flowed from Tenia’s hands into Myanin’s body, and within less than a minute the damage was gone and she could breathe again.

  “The fact that you’re holding your own against a bunch of supernaturals says a lot about your abilities as a fighter,” Tenia said. “You don’t have any powers and yet you still put them all on their backs.”

  Cheers from around her brought Myanin’s mind back to the present as she looked at the male vampire across from her. The one who’d just managed to slam a foot into her chest that had no doubt left a boot impression. He swung the short sword he held in his right hand around in quick circles with flicks of his wrist as his eyes danced with a sort of maniacal glee. “I’d heard you haven’t been using your power to fight,” the vampire said. “The all-powerful djinn who supposedly can kick any supernatural’s ass, and yet I just knocked you on yours.” Snickers from the fighters that circled their sparring ring filled the space around her.

  Myanin tapped the flat blade of the short sword against her thigh where, no doubt, there was another bruise forming to go with the many others she’d already earned that day. She narrowed her eyes on the bloodsucker as she spoke. “And I’ve heard that people who talk instead of fight are a waste of my time.” Without giving him time to respond, Myanin stepped, turned in a blur, and brought the tip of her sword to the side of the male’s neck. She pressed just hard enough to draw a trickle of blood “Your head would be laying on the ground right now if this had been a real fight, or if I was in a worse mood. And if I used my power on you, you’d be nothing but ash beneath my feet.” The djinn stepped away, lowering her blade, and then bounced on the balls of her feet. “Next.”

  “Are you sure you don’t need a break?” A female fae asked as she stepped over the line that indicated where the sparring began and ended. “You’re looking a little tired.”

  The djinn, if she could even call herself that anymore, chuckled. “I look like whatever I want my opponent to think I am. I can’t say the same for you,”—Myanin tilted her head as she eyed the fae—“unless you’re wanting me to think you’re a mediocre warrior desperately trying to prove herself to her superior comrades. If that’s the case, then well done. Mission accomplished.” Myanin ignored the chuckles from those who’d only moments ago been laughing at her. These warriors, and she used that term loosely, had no loyalty. They simply stood behind whoever seemed to have the upper hand at the moment, and as soon as that shifted to someone else, so did they.

  The fae pulled her lips back in a feral grin and then lifted her hand. Myanin’s blade was up blocking the ball of magic. As her blade absorbed the power, she turned, grabbed a knife from her left thigh, and continued to move until she was behind the fae. Myanin lowered her hand and ran the blade of the knife along the back of the fae’s ankle, cutting into the tendon. She never stopped moving, knowing that a moment's hesitation on her part could be the difference in a bruise or a fried organ. As her body came around once again in front of the female who had dropped to one knee, Myanin swung the hand holding the short sword, backhanding the fae across the face. Her hand throbbed from the contact, but she ignored the pain and kept her momentum. As the female fell sideways, Myanin jumped on top of her, straddling her chest, pinned her arms down with her knees, and crossed both blades over the fae’s neck.

  Myanin leaned down until her mouth was right next to the fae’s ear. “You need a break? You’re looking a little beat down.” Myanin chuckled as she leaned back and then slowly rose up to her feet, still keeping her knife and sword pointed at her opponent. Technically the fight was over, but Myanin didn’t trust any of the people around her as far as she could throw them, which was practically nowhere because she no longer possessed the power to do so.

  After five more sparring sessions, her body was screaming at her to go find Tenia. She needed to get the injuries taken care of before they headed out for their daily rounds of new vamp recruiting. Which wasn’t really recruiting at all because they didn’t give the humans a choice. As soon as she was out of the main building, Myanin pulled out her phone to contact Tenia, but before she could click on the fae’s name, a text came through from “YM.” The first time she’d seen that pop up on her phone she’d responded with “who the hell is this,” because though she’d turned over a new leaf, Tenia told her that her manners were still lacking. YM turned out to be Gerick. It seemed he wanted to remind her with every text message who he was to her. She bit her lip to keep from grinning as she clicked on the message.

  How are you?

  She took stock of her aching body and decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell him that she felt as though she’d been beaten by a draheim tail. The first time she’d mentioned to him that she’d gotten some injuries sparring, Gerick had been insistent that she and Tenia figure out a way to get out of the Order ASAP. But Myanin knew it wasn’t time. Call it a sixth sense or intuition or the Great Luna’s prompting, but she just knew they had to stay.

  I have no cotton candy. She inwardly grinned at her response because in her mind, that was actually worse than feeling the mortal wounds from her sparring.

  Stay safe and I’ll build you a damn cotton candy factory.

  Myanin snorted. I will hold you to that. Don’ t make promises you can’t keep.

  Wouldn’t dream of it, my lady.

  Her stomach dipped at the endearment he’d begun using with her. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, except maybe Tenia, but she loved it. It made her feel wanted. With nothing more to say because they needed to keep the contact as short as possible, she ended their conversation with the same words as always.

  Miss you. Myanin wondered if he understood that those two words meant so much more than just her desire to see him and be with him. They were words that her future was built upon. That when this was all over, she would be able to be with Gerick and build a life with him. They were a promise to them both.

  And I you.

  She let her eyes stare at his response for several seconds before quickly deleting the texts. Then she hurriedly sent Tenia a message letting her know she’d be ready to go in ten minutes. Tenia would understand that to mean that in five minutes she needed to meet up with Myanin to take care of the injuries and then five minutes after that they’d be heading out on their assignment.

  Tenia knelt down in front of her son, Torion, and pressed a kiss to his head. They stood in the corridor just outside of the bedroom they now shared. She was silently thankful for the room. After she’d brought scores of prisoners to the Order, she’d finally shown her “loyalty” and earned Alston’s favor. Tenia had made it clear to anyone who was paying attention—the more time she was allowed with her son, the more she was willing to do for the Order. She only hoped her efforts weren’t too fruitful. Regardless, if recruiting Order members was what it took to be with Torion, she’d work like the top seller in a pyramid scheme pushing essential oils and diet pills.

  “I will be back tonight.” Tenia looked into his beautiful turquoise eyes and saw disappointment tempered with bravery. Her son was going to make one hell of a warrior when he grew up. “Out of sight, out of mind. Okay?” It was a phrase she’d begun repeating to remind him that the less any of the leaders of the Order noticed him, the less likely he was to put himself in danger. She knew he got sick of being confined to their room. She hated it, but she hated more the idea of her son being influenced by members of the Order, even if they took no action to harm the boy. In fact, one of Alston’s first threats to gain Tenia’s compliance was that he would kill her and raise Torion as his own son. The idea had been so abhorrent she’d nearly vomited on the high fae.

  “I’ll make sure he’s safe,” a deep voice said from above her.

  The sound was like a cool stream of calming water rippling over Tenia. She forced her eyes to stay open and tried not to react, positively or negatively, to the words. Skender, Canis lupus, Order member, and her mate. A blessing and a curse all rolled up in one. She didn’t know how he kept getting put on guard duty outside her door, but over the past month, he’d managed to keep his word. Torion was safe, and she was at peace over the fact that she knew Skender would kill anyone who attempted to hurt her son. She felt the truth in his words through their bond.

  Tenia hugged Torion one last time and then stood up. Her eyes didn’t raise immediately to look at the wolf before her. Instead, they stopped on the tray in his large hand. Her brow rose as she gaped at the pile of food.

  “He’s a growing boy,” Skender said. “I want to make sure he has enough calories in him.”

  She stared at the food longer than was necessary before finally forcing her head up and her eyes to meet his. He was handsome, and every time she looked at him, her breath caught in her throat. Guilt and remorse shone through his eyes and his actions. Yet, the wolf still wouldn’t allow the sacred bond between them to be completed. Tenia often found herself wrestling with the need to know what his past held and wanting to run as far from him as she could, never looking back.

  “Thank you.” Her words were curt, void of the mixed emotions constantly battling inside her.

  “Be safe today,” Skender told her and then motioned for Torion to go back in the room and leaned down so the boy could take the tray of food. “Eat as much as you can,” he said to her son. Torion smiled at Skender and nodded. He was infatuated with the Canis lupus. One more thing to make Tenia’s already torn heart even more shredded.

  “Love you, Torion,” Tenia said. She watched her son turn away with the food, no doubt about to do exactly as Skender had said simply because he had said it.

  “Love you, too, Mom,” he called over his shoulder, already stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth.

  As soon as the door was closed, Tenia started past Skender. But he moved to block her path, though, as usual, he was careful not to touch her.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “I’ve heard what Alston and Ludcarab have you doing. I just…” He paused and took a step closer to her. “I want you to be okay.”

  Tenia bit her lip, hard. Why did he have to say the right things, ask the right things, but not be the right thing? Despite the fact that their bond was closed down tightly most of the time, every now and then his wolf would reach out and speak to her. She didn’t know if it was because the beast could feel her loneliness and wanted to comfort her, or if it was because the wolf was lonely, too. Whatever the reason, she found herself waiting almost desperately for those moments. And when they came, she often felt as if she’d been holding her breath in between each one. “I’m fine.” She somehow managed to sound convincing. “I’ll be fine.” Tenia didn’t wait for a response. She stepped around him and hurried away before she said more than she wanted to.

  Skender stood in the hall, watching his mate practically run from him. It took everything in him not to bolt after her, and the farther she got, the harder it became to stop himself. When she was nearby, he found himself taking deep breaths of air, hoping to saturate his lungs with her scent. From a young age, Canis lupus are taught about their true mate, that there is one special person out there that holds the other half of the wolf’s soul—one certain someone that the Great Luna created just for him or her. Not in Skender’s wildest dreams could he have imagined how amazing his perfect mate was until he’d finally met her.

  But the beauty of Tenia threw his own filthiness into stark contrast. Skender gritted his teeth to keep from pacing. Conflicting thoughts raged within him. The first, a fervent desperation at knowing how amazing his mate was and knowing he couldn’t have her because of his past sins. His life was forfeit; he knew that. Either he’d die in the service of the Order, be killed by the Order for betraying them, or be killed by the Romanians for betraying them. The thought of losing his own life didn’t bother him. But knowing he couldn’t be there for Tenia threatened to drive him over the edge. A second, quieter thought remained. A silent thankfulness to the Great Luna that he actually knew her and had been chosen to be there to protect Tenia and her son— a son that he and his wolf had claimed as their own.

  When she was no longer in view, Skender turned to the closed door and gently knocked. A return knock, in a distinct pattern that Skender had taught the boy, was the response. The man knocked again in a pattern that would alert Torion that it was actually Skender on the other side of the door. A second later, the door opened, and wide eyes stared up at him. The boy wore a large grin on his face.

  “Can we practice now?” His face was covered in food.

  Skender chuckled. “How about we get cleaned up a bit, then we practice?”

  Torion scurried into the bathroom and returned a few moments later, his hands and face still dripping water, but mostly clean. “Ready,” the boy said.

  Skender managed to convince Alston to allow him to teach the young fae boy to fight. He’d argued he could also influence Torion to be a dutiful soldier for the Order, and Alston had readily agreed. Instead, Skender was ensuring Torion could defend himself against the Order, or anyone else for that matter, if he ever needed to. Skender hadn’t mentioned it to Tenia, though he knew he needed to quickly before she got wind of it from someone else. She might get the impression that he actually was trying to get her child to join the Order. But his wolf rarely allowed the man to talk to their female. Getting out the few sentences he’d said to her this morning had been painful. The entire time, he’d been holding back his wolf.