“I don’t expect you to pour out the details of your relationship.” Fane held up a hand. “I’m not trying to pry. But the health of each of our pack members is important, not only to me, but to the pack as a whole.”

  “You’re right, it is,” Lucian agreed. “You’re not overstepping your bounds, Fane.”

  “Peri cannot be left to act on her grief, anger, or anything else she is experiencing. She’s entirely too powerful.”

  Lucian let out a sigh that sounded both frustrated and tired. “I need some time alone with her, but she constantly tries to stay busy. She hardly sleeps. I originally thought that space, no matter how difficult it’s been for me and my wolf to give her, is what she needed. I was wrong.”

  Fane’s lips nearly turned up in a smile. “If it makes you feel any better, I get it wrong with my mate more often than I get it right.”

  “There really should be a book on how to be a good mate.” Lucian ran a hand over his face. “I’m trying to be what she needs, but I honestly don’t know if I can be. At some point, she has to want help moving past these issues.”

  “Jacquelyn and I went through something similar, only it was me who had to get the help. I thought I could deal with my anger and pain on my own, but it just drove a wedge between me and my mate. She was ready to walk, at least for a while. Not permanently, of course. My wolf lost it.” Those memories weren’t proud ones. Fane still regretted how he acted. He’d put his female through hell. Though she’d forgiven him, he wished he could go back and change what happened.

  “I’m at a loss,” Lucian admitted. “Perhaps I can seek out wisdom from our goddess. I can slay physical enemies. But I don’t know what to do with the things that torment her from the inside.”

  “If there’s anything Jacquelyn or I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

  Lucian walked over to him and, to Fane’s surprise, his uncle wrapped him in a tight hug. “You’re doing well, nephew. I know that we’ve not known each other for long, but I am proud of you, and I know your father is, too.”

  Fane bit the inside of his cheek. He remembered what it felt like for his father to hug him in the same way. Vasile never hugged him in an awkward way, as if the act was somehow unmanly. The alpha had hugged Fane with a fierceness that always made Fane feel important, like he mattered, not just as Vasile’s son, but as a person in his own right. He made a mental note to make sure he always did the same with Slate. “Thank you,” Fane finally said when he was sure his emotions wouldn’t keep him from being able to speak.

  His uncle released him and stepped back. They both turned when the door opened, and Peri walked in. Lucian must have used their bond to let her know they were done speaking.

  “So, we will be hearing from you after you speak with the djinn?” Peri asked. She didn’t seem annoyed or even angry that Fane had requested to speak to her mate alone. Instead, the high fae appeared resigned. Jacque followed behind her, making her way to Fane’s side.

  “Yes, I will keep everyone that needs to know informed. Just as I expect to be informed on how things go with your conversations with the other supernaturals,” Fane answered. “Everything okay between you and your mom?” he asked his mate through their bond.

  “Yes.” Jacquelyn sighed. “I reiterated that I thought her actions were a bit reckless. But she reminded me that she’s a grown-ass woman and can take care of herself, after which she hugged me tightly and told me she loved me.”

  “Sounds like something you would say,” he teased, hoping to soften her ire.

  “I just don’t want her getting careless for her own safety. I worry that losing Cypher might make her not care about whether she lives or dies.”

  “Your mother is stronger than that, Luna. She would never allow something to take her from you or Slate without a fight.” He pulled her tightly against him and pressed a kiss to her temple.

  “Mate,” Peri held out her arm to Lucian but didn’t bother to look at him. The wolf's body was tense as he placed his hand on hers.

  “Please, take us home first,” Lucian said quietly. “I have some things I need to do.”

  “As you wish.” Peri didn’t bother to say goodbye to Fane or Jacquelyn before flashing away.

  “Would it make me a bad friend if I said I really want to slap her into next week?” Jacquelyn asked.

  “I think it would make you a friend who is hurting because you see someone you love being pulled down a dangerous road,” Fane said. He slipped his hand under her hair and wrapped his fingers around her neck, turning her to look up at him. “Lucian is going to speak with her.”

  “Maybe he should do more than speak with her,” his mate suggested. “Like tie her up, throw her into the In Between, and let her be tortured until she realizes that life could be much worse.”

  “Everyone handles grief differently.” Fane leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He missed her lips. He missed having her in his arms and all to himself.

  “She’s not handling it, Fane.” Jacque’s voice was full of irritation, and her brow drew low. “She’s allowing it to crush her.”

  Fane sighed. He wished that he could fix it. Peri was family; she was pack. But she wasn’t a Canis lupus. He could not force her compliance. “I’m sorry, beloved,” he told his mate as he stroked her hair. “We need to trust that the Great Luna is still in control, even if Peri isn’t.”

  Jacquelyn reached up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, but she didn’t linger, which made him growl. She chuckled. “I thought you had an important phone call to make to some djinn elders.”

  “After,” he said, his voice full of the heat that his body was feeling. He pulled his phone from his pocket while he held his Luna's entrancing stare.

  “We’ve been waiting to hear from you,” Synica said after two rings. “After everything that happened with the warlock queen and Myanin, we knew it was just a matter of time.”

  “It’s been quiet,” Fane said, and then added, “too quiet. But I will not wish for war if there is another way.”

  “Do you think there is another way?” Synica asked.

  “With the rogues,” Fane said, “yes. With the Order? No. The Order will need to be crushed entirely. Not even the tiniest of embers must remain to one day reignite it.”

  “I do not envy you your task, Fane, but we will stand with you.” Synica’s voice was softer.

  Fane felt Jacquelyn’s hand squeeze his, and he leaned into her. He’d been so lost in thought over what their future looked like that he’d forgotten she was standing there.

  “Now, I imagine the reason you're calling is that Lilly has no doubt explained all that transpired with Myanin,” Synica said.

  “She has. Without getting into too much of your own people’s business, we would like to know if Thadrick’s history-keeping ability has been sorted?”

  “I’m switching us to speaker,” Synica said. And then a masculine voice came through Fane’s phone.

  Fane switched his phone to speaker as well so he wouldn't have to repeat everything for Jacque.

  “Unfortunately,” Thadrick said, his voice so tight that he sounded as if he was in pain, “things are still a mess in my head.”

  “You can’t see anything that has happened in the past?” Fane asked.

  “Oh, I can see. I’m getting information to be catalogued, if you will, but it’s a mess. There’s no timeline, no reference.” He grunted. “It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have this ability.”

  “Don’t feel bad,” Jacquelyn said. “It’s hard for me to fathom you having the ability to store that much information, especially in some sort of organized manner. It must be extremely difficult to have it coming at you like a jumbled mess of mashed up movies instead of in chronological order.”

  “That’s actually a good way to describe it.” Thadrick chuckled though he sounded weary.

  “The Great Luna didn’t offer up any explanation?” Jacquelyn asked.

  “No. I’ve no doubt that her plan is perfect, but sometimes it’s really hard not knowing what that plan is. If there are any changes in my status as far as my abilities go,” Thadrick said, “I will let you know immediately.”

  “As soon as the sprite queen tells me she’s ready to host another summit, we will send out the call,” Fane assured them. He released his mate’s hand, disconnected the call, then walked over to the large window and looked out into the night. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. His wolf was restless. He wanted the cowards to step forward and make their challenges known, but still they waited. For what? Reinforcements? Were they planning to ignore the rules of alpha challenge and attempt a full-on siege?

  “That was a very uneventful conversation,” Peri’s voice entered the office moments before she and her mate did.

  Fane turned, and he knew his eyes were glowing. His wolf was perturbed by the fact that he’d believed she had already left. “You don’t have to eavesdrop in order to get information,” he snapped at her.

  “I wasn’t eavesdropping,” she said with a flippant wave of her hand. “I realized I’d left my phone. Helpful, yet pesky little devices.” She walked over and retrieved her silver cell phone from the table. “I didn’t want to just walk in and interrupt.”

  Fane bit his tongue before he could say “hasn’t stopped you before.” Being polite had never been one of Peri’s strong suits.

  “Well, since you heard everything, you’re up-to-date now.” Fane’s wolf was staring the high fae down. He didn’t blink as his eyes held hers, and regardless of the fact that she was not only his uncle’s mate but a dear friend to them all, his wolf had a strong urge to bite the female.

  “I think sleep is in order.” Jacquelyn’s voice filled the tense quiet. “I have a little boy I’d like to take off Rachel’s hands, and I’m exhausted. Being on high alert is for the birds.”

  “Well, it depends on what type of bird you are,” Peri said. “If you’re a bird of prey, then…” She paused. Peri shook her head and then said, “Nope, you’re right. Doesn’t matter if you're prey or predator. Predators are on high alert constantly looking for their next meal, and prey are on alert constantly trying not to be their next meal.”

  “Uhh,” Jacquelyn said as she pressed her lips together. “Thank you for that lesson. I think?”

  Lucian wrapped an arm around his mate’s waist. “I think rest is in order for us as well.”

  Jacquelyn gave him a thumbs-up. “When Peri starts giving zoology lessons, I’d have to agree, it's time to give her some drugs and knock her butt out.”

  “I don’t need drugs.” She shook her head and then shrugged. “But I’ll totally take some if you got them.”

  Lucian whispered something in her ear, and Peri gave him a sharp nod. “See you tomorrow. If we live ’til then.” Then she and Lucian flashed from the room.

  “I’ve got to tell you something.” Jacquelyn walked over to him. “Her lack of faith in our ability to make it through this alive is disturbing.”

  Fane looked down at his mate, and he felt his wolf stir. His beast adored their female and anytime they were alone, it wanted to rub all over her. Perhaps he should feel like a creeper, but then, he was a wolf. Wolves were creepy, right? Especially at night. “We’re going to make it through this”—he paused and gave her a small smile—“crapstorm, as you called it, because I have too much to live for.”

  “Damn straight.” She gave him a grin that stole his breath. He was amazed and pleased her smile still affected him so strongly.

  “Let’s get some of that rest you were talking about, Luna.” He wrapped his larger hand around hers and headed for the door.

  “I can hear your thoughts, you know,” she said, humor lacing her voice. “Your idea of rest and my idea of rest do not seem like the same thing.”

  “You can rest all you want. Just lie back and pretend you’re at the spa.”

  Her laughter filled the hall, and Fane’s wolf preened because they could make their mate sound so happy. “Have you ever been to a spa? And if they did the things you’re thinking about, would you let me go back to a spa?”

  Fane’s step faltered. “Okay, no spas. Just lay back and enjoy your male. I won’t be offended if you fall asleep. I just need to be close to you. To cover you in my scent and me in yours.”

  “If I was completely human and heard y’all talking like that, I’d totally get Jacque away from your crazy, scent-rolling ass. No matter how fine it is,” said Jen.

  Jacquelyn pulled him to a stop and turned to face his beta’s mate. “Why are you creeping around the halls this late at night?”

  Jen rolled her eyes. “Do I look like I'm creeping? I’m walking upright, with normal steps, and carrying a sleeping toddler. How the hell am I supposed to creep?”

  “She has a point.” Fane smirked when his mate shot him a look that made it clear he was not supposed to take Jen’s side, on anything. Ever.

  “This”—Jen pointed to her daughter, speaking of her as if she was a thing and not a person—“was in Costin and Sally’s suite playing with Titus, and she fell asleep. I was going to leave her there, but her overprotective sperm donor wouldn’t have it.” Jen glanced over her shoulder as if she expected said male to appear. Fane sort of expected it, too.

  “So, he sent you to collect her?” Jacquelyn’s voice rose with her eyebrows.

  “No.” She huffed. “I told him I was getting her because I wanted to check on you.” She motioned toward Jacque.

  Jen was one of the toughest females Fane had ever met, but she had a soft spot for those she loved, and when she loved, she did it fiercely. Like a momma bear on crack. Or at least that’s what he imagined it would be like if a momma bear was ever on crack and watching over her cubs.

  "Your mind is in a really weird place right now, and I just want you to admit you seriously need some sleep,” Jacquelyn said through their bond. Fane couldn’t argue. Thinking about Jen as a bear on crack was a new level of weird for him.

  “I’m good, Jen.” Jacque walked over to Jen and hugged her, pressing Thia between them. “Today was stressful, but we’ve been through worse.”

  “And came out swinging,” Jen added as she and Jacquelyn released one another.

  “Always,” his mate said. “Now, get some rest. We’re all going to need it.”

  “Said the woman who is about to have her mate rolling all over her like a dog on a dead skunk.” Jen turned and headed back in the direction she had come then waved over her shoulder. “You get you some of that dead-skunk sexiness, girl.”

  Jacquelyn shook her head and walked back over to him.

  “Do you still think I’m the weird one?” he asked as they continued toward Rachel and Gavril’s suite.

  “Absolutely. She’s just weird one and you’re weird two.”

  “Things are disintegrating in a hurry if I’m being put in the same level of weirdness as Jen.” Fane laughed.

  “Babe, I hate to break it to you, but your level of weirdness has always surpassed Jen’s. You’re a werewolf, who came all the way to the US in search of your soulmate. You moved in with a family you didn’t know because your wolf told you that your mate was somewhere in the vicinity. Some might call that a little nuts.”

  “I don’t recall you complaining.” He let his voice drop and ran a finger down her spine.

  “Then your memory is faulty, alpha-mine. Because I distinctly remember telling you to take a hike when you told me to put more clothes on.”

  “You were laying on display in your yard wearing next to nothing, Luna.” Fane’s mind wandered back to the memory. Despite not being comfortable with his mate being exposed, it was a nice view.

  Jacquelyn shot him a sideways glance, no doubt having picked up on his thoughts. Fane didn’t hide any of them from her. The bond between them had been wide open on his end. And she only closed it down when she was having girl time. They reached Gavril and Rachel’s suite, and Fane was just about to knock when he froze and tilted his head. An instant later, the howls started.

  Chapter

  Four

  “Resilience. That is my superpower. Sure, wielding the power of the high fae is nice, but that isn’t what has given me the edge through thousands of years and countless battles. Rather, it’s my ability to bear every scar, every wound, every loss. I’ve used them as fuel, motivation to do what needs to be done. Until now. The thing festering in me now cannot be turned to good. It’s using me, dragging me into a hole that is only getting deeper.” ~Peri

  Peri could feel his eyes on her. He’d always watched her closely, but the past few months he’d been relentless. Peri felt like a specimen under a microscope that he couldn’t figure out. It seemed he thought her a virus that needed to be neutralized, but he couldn’t yet find the medicine to do it. She could feel his worry through their bond, but Peri also felt his love, adoration, and need to help her. What could she tell him? She didn't know how he could help her … or if she could even be helped at all.

  The enemy she was battling was in her mind, in her heart, and in the ache of her soul. She was lost, stumbling in the dark without even bothering to hold out her hands to find support. Peri didn’t know if she wanted to find something to hold onto. She didn’t want to continue to stand. Falling would be so much better. She wanted to hit the bottom and never get up.

  “Beloved.” Lucian’s voice filled their dark bedroom. She’d flashed them straight home and hadn’t bothered with any lights. Peri didn’t like the light anymore. She didn’t like anything. Any joy Peri might have found in even the smallest of things was gone. There were times the emptiness robbed her of breath, and other times when it made her want to rob everyone else in the world of their breath.

  “I know,” she said, her throat tight as she tried to speak around the emotions constantly trying to strangle her like a fist wrapped around her neck, squeezing tighter and tighter every minute.