Alice paused, and Lizzy simply stared at her. Finally, the scientist spoke again. “But that’s not the scariest thing.”

  Lizzy frowned. “Potentially waking up as a blood-sucking monster is not the scariest thing? What could possibly be scarier than that?”

  Alice fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, her gaze bouncing from Lizzy’s, down, and back up again. “I’ve changed in other ways, and…” She trailed off for a moment, then took a deep, steadying breath. “I don’t want you to hate me or feel betrayed.”

  “Well, those are excellent things to avoid in friendship. I certainly don’t want to hate you or feel betrayed. Granted, I sort of already felt betrayed when you put Cain’s blood in my body and yours, too. But I’m growing as a person. I’ve had a lot of time to work on myself in this room.” Lizzy’s tone was dry and sarcastic.

  Alice blew out a breath, and then finally blurted out, “I have feelings for Cain. Feeling feelings. And he has them for me. He told me he loves me and maybe I shouldn’t trust him because damn that was fast. But then I think why not? Is there really a time limit on when someone falls in love with a person. But then I think, can I trust him? He’s a man. All the men I’ve known have mostly sucked.”

  “And this one literally sucks,” Lizzy muttered, but Alice was on a roll.

  “And I’d sworn them off. But at the same time, I’ve been alone, in one way or another, my whole life. And he makes me not alone. No.” She shook her head. “Not just not alone. He makes me feel valued, precious, and seen. These past weeks, he’s taken care of me like no one has ever done in my life. Not my mother and definitely not my father. I mean”—she held up a hand—“I know what he is. But I don’t know how to stop what’s happening between us. And I don’t even think I want to.” She shifted in her seat, leaning forward a bit. Lizzy stared back at her, but Alice couldn’t get a read on what the girl was thinking, so she just plowed on. “It’s like I know what he is, and what he’s capable of, but then with me, he’s so different. He’s kind and considerate, and he’s been taking care of me this whole time. In the back of my head I’m screaming at myself, ‘What the hell, Alice?’ You know? And then there’s you, and all I could think was that I was betraying you, and now you’ll hate me, and I’ll only have Cain, and what if Cain does something like my mother did and just leaves me high and dry? Then I have no one? And all I wanted to do was make some amazing scientific discovery and get my name in the scientific hall of fame, and⁠—”

  “Wait, is that actually a thing?”

  Alice huffed out a laugh. “No, but is that the only thing you heard?”

  Lizzy lifted a shoulder. “It’s the thing I felt I could respond to without giving too much brainpower to it.”

  “Fair, enough. I’m sorry, Lizzy.”

  “Why are you apologizing to me?” Lizzy dropped her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. “We don’t get to pick who our hearts choose. I mean, yes, there are some emotions that we absolutely choose to feel, but the beginning sparks of love…” She shook her head. “Those are totally out of our hands. It’s when things get hard that love becomes a choice.” She bobbed her head from side to side a couple of times. “I mean, do I get it? No. He is good looking, but he’s also a villain. He’s selfish and narcissistic and has all the red flags of ‘I’m going to tear your heart out and laugh while I do it’ warnings. And yes, I mean that literally and figuratively. But I don’t hate you.” Lizzy held Alice’s gaze as she continued. “I don’t have a lot of friends. In fact, I’ve only ever had one and I lost her. You can’t trust people when you live on the streets. You were real with me. I realize that took courage, but you told me the truth, and that goes a long way with me.”

  Alice wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. When had she started crying? Her emotions were all over the place. “Thank you,” she finally managed to squeeze out of her tightened throat. “It feels so good to tell you and know that we’ll be okay?” It came out as a question.

  “Girl, we won’t be okay until we get the hell out of dodge.” Lizzy smirked. “Our friendship, blossoming as it is, will be fine. It’s been forged in fire, and short of you feeding me to Cain, I think I can talk you out of whatever hold he has on you.”

  The problem was, Alice didn’t want to be talked out of it. And that was the crux of it all. How low was she willing to sink simply to not feel alone anymore? Was love enough to pardon Cain?

  Lizzy held up a hand. “Change of subject … sort of.” She waved her palms up and down like a scale. “It’s still about you and what’s happened to you, but we’ll just ignore the Cain portion of the show for the moment. How are you outside of the vampire king soap opera?”

  “I feel like I’m going to have to hide for the rest of my life. If my father finds out what has happened to me, he will not hesitate to take me into government control and treat me like a lab rat.” Her breath shuddered as she shook her head. “I don’t want to spend my life hiding who I am. BUT, do I really know who I am or what I am anymore?” Alice raked a hand through her hair in frustration. “Is there any option that doesn’t end in disaster?”

  Lizzy blew out a breath, her amber eyes thoughtful. “Have you considered that maybe you’re exactly what you were before? A gypsy healer. You’re not drinking blood. You aren’t craving it. So, I don’t see how that classifies you as a vampire.”

  “Then why do I feel like something is off?” The fear in Alice’s voice frazzled her nerves. She hated being afraid, being anything less than entirely sure of who she was and what she was doing. Alice had always been so sure of herself. And now she didn’t even know who she was anymore. All because of Claude.

  Chapter

  Two

  “Perception is one of those things that screws with your head if you’re not careful. Hell, it screws with your head even if you are careful. Because no matter how cautious you are in life, you can’t really prepare yourself for a supernatural being to skew your perception so badly that you aren’t even sure who you are anymore.” ~Lilly

  “We need the healers to contact Alice.” Lilly stood with her hands resting on her hips, her hair up in a messy bun, and still in her sleep clothes. Sally found it oddly comforting to see her looking more like a worn-out mom, the Lilly she’d known her whole life, rather than the warlock queen she’d become.

  “Why the sudden urgency?” Fane frowned.

  Sally leaned forward where she sat, as much as her bump of a stomach would allow. Costin sat beside her and ran his hand up and down her back, applying slight pressure. It felt good. Though she was just getting ready to start her second trimester, Sally’s back already bothered her.

  “Since she was bitten by Claude, and Tenia hasn’t been able to get a hold of her via the phone he’d given her. And—I’ve seen something.” Lilly dropped her hands, then raised them to go to work on her messy bun, though it didn’t look to Sally like it needed any help. Maybe Lilly just needed something to do with her hands. The woman was clearly irritated. “It’s not good, Fane.” Lilly turned and looked at Sally. “I realize you are in a tough spot with the baby and⁠—”

  “And the overprotective, helicopter-hovering mate?” Sally offered.

  Costin let out a low rumble. His annoyance at her assessment ran through their bond.

  Sally shrugged. “Just speaking the truth, babe.”

  He didn’t respond, as had become his custom of late. The further along in her pregnancy she became, the more withdrawn and serious her male seemed to be.

  “Yes.” Lilly pointed at Costin. “That. But you’re the most powerful of the healers. And, if I’m being honest, there’s just something about you that is trustworthy, Sally. Maybe it’s the sprite blood or just your honest love for everyone. But you must be among the healers that contacts Alice. And Kara… Kara’s been through a lot. Her experience will help Alice not feel isolated. Jewel needs to be left out of this one. Fane, you’ll have to ask Dillon directly if you want to know why.”

  The door to the office swung open, and the healer in question walked in with her mate right on her heels.

  “I took the liberty of texting Kara,” Lilly said as the couple filed in. “I know she’s been resting and processing, and that’s why she hasn’t been here. But”—Lilly gave Kara an encouraging smile—“what you went through wasn’t for nothing. Horrible things can be used to bring about beautiful change.”

  “So you want the two pregnant healers to be the ones digging into the mind of a woman who might be attached to the king of vampires, AKA our nemesis?” Nick asked as he grabbed Kara’s hand and guided her to an empty spot on one of the large couches. He gently nudged her down, and Kara rolled her eyes before glancing at Sally. “And the non-pregnant healer gets to sit this one out?”

  Sally gave her a knowing grin. The other healer was in the same boat—dealing with a mate in hyper-intense protective mode.

  “I realize that sounds like a crap plan, but⁠—”

  “Can you tell us what you’ve seen, Mom?” Jacque cut Lilly off. The warlock queen had no need to explain herself. Sometimes crap plans were the only plans.

  “You know I can’t give you that information.” Lilly’s yellow warlock eyes flashed with frustration. “No matter how much it would help you. There are rules for a reason.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, our rules are being stretched, changed, and tested constantly,” Jen said dryly from where she sat in Decebel’s lap in one of the overstuffed chairs. She leaned back, her head resting on her mate’s shoulder as she swung her right leg, which was sitting on the arm of the chair, back and forth. “We’ve been breaking rules left and right, Ms. P. Why suddenly decide to follow them now?”

  “Because there is a lot, and I mean a lot, at stake if we screw this up.” Lilly looked back at Sally and then to Kara. “Please, contact her.”

  “I don’t like it.” Nick shook his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn-out jeans. “Before you texted her,” he addressed Lilly, “I’d been planning to bring her here because Kara wanted to be close to Sally, not so she could put herself in danger.”

  “I understand.” Lilly’s voice was gentle. “Sally’s been in people’s minds before, and she’s made it out just fine.”

  Fane leaned back against his desk. His piercing blue gaze no longer held the gentleness of the boy Sally had met years ago. Fane was a man now, a king. And somehow, in the time he’d taken the mantel from his father, he’d been chiseled like stone into a formidable foe. As he looked at Nick, it was the alpha staring out of those wolf's eyes, not the friend.

  “I understand more than you can know how desperate you feel to protect your mate.” Fane tilted his head in that wolflike manner that even Costin did occasionally, and his blue eyes glowed. Jacque shifted until her hip was pressed to Fane’s, no doubt trying to calm him down because the alpha of alphas was not in a cheerful mood. “But we all have to make sacrifices. We all have to put ourselves in harm’s way, whether we’re comfortable with it or not. I want more than anything to send my mate and son away to another realm where I know they will be safe. Even as we stay here”—he motioned around them to the office that looked like his back at the Romania mansion, enchanted for them by Peri while they remained in the Sprite realm—“the chances grow that an enemy might find and attack us.” He pushed away from the desk, and Jacque moved with him, her hand slipping into his. “But we have the burden of saving those who cannot save themselves. That falls on us, which includes Kara.” He looked at Costin. “And Sally as well.”

  Costin bared his teeth at his alpha. Sally reached over and smacked his leg. “Stop that. You know I can handle myself.” Okay, so had Sally been in some pretty shitty situations since joining the supernatural world? Yes. Yes, she had. But she’d come out stronger on the other side. “Besides, it’s not like we’re going anywhere. You two will be sitting right there with us as we travel into her mind.”

  “Exactly.” Kara nodded. “Fane and Lilly aren’t asking us to go to the front lines of a battle.”

  “The mind is a dangerous place,” Costin spoke up.

  Sally’s stomach twisted as she remembered several of their pack members that had endured battlefields in their mind. Costin wasn’t wrong. Jewel, Anna, Zara, and even Decebel had had their heads messed with. Not to mention, all of them that had once been trapped in the In-Between. And those battles had been just as dangerous, perhaps more so, than those battles fought in the physical world.

  Fane’s voice was somber. “I’m sorry, Costin, but I’m not asking. Sally and Kara will reach out to Alice. We need to know what’s going on. With Claude gone rogue, we don’t have a way to contact Lizzy. I can try to reach Finn through the alpha bond, but since I’ve not officially made him a pack member, it will be difficult to tap into his mind.”

  “Thank you, Fane,” Lilly said respectfully. “And Nick, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t for a significant reason.”

  “We got this.” Sally clapped her hands once, then dropped them onto her lap. “Kara, ready?”

  Kara’s eyes widened. “Now?” She pointed in front of her. “Like literally now?”

  Sally nodded. “No time like the present.”

  The other healer blew out a breath and pushed her hair away from her face. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  “That’s my girls,” Jen said like a proud mother. “Kicking ass and taking names.”

  “All we’re doing is talking to Alice in her mind,” Sally told her best friend. “There will be no victorious return with a head in tow.”

  “Way to burst my bubble, Sal.” Jen flicked her hand at Sally. “I’m going to go corrupt Tiberius while you two mind hop.”

  Sally turned to Costin. “Text Gavril and let him know Jen is not to be within fifty feet of Titus. I think it’s time for a restraining order.”

  Chuckles rippled across the room. Sally raised a brow at them. “I’m not joking. Jen, you’re a menace. Leave my kid alone, or I promise I will permanently dye Thia blue. She’ll be a living version of that blonde Smurf.”

  Jen’s mouth dropped open and then a grin spread across her face. “Dang girl, pregnancy looks good on you. Look at you, being all threatening and stuff. I love it.” She climbed off Decebel’s lap and started for the door. “Keep us posted on how operation Infiltrate Vampire Lover’s Brain goes. I promise I’ll just teach Teagan how to fight dirty, but I won’t corrupt him any more than that.”

  “You could call him by his name,” Jacque offered amiably.

  Jen paused, giving it a thought. “Naw. I gotta get my kicks somewhere other than my doll-dismembering child.”

  “Fair.” Sally nodded. “Thia is a tad twisted.”

  Decebel sighed as he followed Jen to the door. “Seriously, Sally. Give my kid a fighting chance, and let my female teach yours how to be ruthless. I’ll keep an eye on them.”

  Sally’s shoulder sagged dramatically. “Fine, but no cuss words.”

  “No promises,” Jen hollered as she walked out into the hall.

  The door closed behind the couple, and Sally looked at Jacque. “I can’t wait until Slate is old enough to be corrupted. Maybe then she’ll lose interests in Titus.”

  “Thanks for that thought,” Jacque said dryly.

  Kara stood up and walked over to the other side of Sally, taking a seat on the couch next to her. “You ready to give this a go again?”

  Sally shifted to face the healer, and Costin was at her back. Nick stood behind the couch where his mate sat.

  “Yep,” Sally said. “Fane, what should we ask her?”

  Fane crossed his arms in front of his chest. Jacque took the hand that had been holding his and slipped it under the side of his shirt. Skin on skin contact. Whatever she needed to do to keep Fane grounded.

  “First, you’re going to have to earn her trust. She might not give you any information at the start. This go-round, you may just have to build rapport. Tell her things about yourselves, the kinds of things you don’t like to talk about that will be relatable to her situation.”

  Sally knew what Fane meant, and he was right. She did not want to talk about her past—the things she’d endured at the hands of the Order. But it would be a way to win Alice’s trust. A common struggle. Having someone tell Alice that she would make it amidst the crucible was probably exactly what she needed. “You’re not alone, Alice Douglas,” Sally said softly as she took Kara’s hands in hers. She stared into Kara’s wide eyes. “We got this.”

  Then Sally closed her eyes and started searching for the cords that connected all the gypsy healers to one another. She just needed to find Alice’s. Then they could essentially hop on and figuratively ride that sucker all the way into Alice’s mind.

  She searched for the purple strand and stifled a gasp when she saw it was no longer entwined with the other healers, but, instead, resting alone, off to the side.

  “That’s not right,” Kara said next to her.

  “What’s not right?” Nick’s voice reached through their trance.

  “Shhh,” Sally told him. “We need to concentrate. Put a lid on that worrying crap, or I’ll ask Fane to ban you from the room.”

  Nick cursed under his breath but went silent and stayed that way. Costin was quiet as well, though he kept a hand on Sally’s back, grounding her to the here and now.

  “Why is her strand not entwined with ours?” Kara asked as she and Sally moved their own light forms toward the purple one.

  “I don’t know, but we’re about to find out. Picture your hand wrapping around the purple cord.” Sally wasn’t sure how she knew this was the right thing to do, but it felt right. Famous last words.

  As soon as both of their lights wrapped around the purple cord, Sally found herself zooming through the darkness. Sally had to struggle to maintain her hold. Her own light seemed eager to repel Alice’s, much like two magnets pushing against each other at their similar poles.

  Sally flew forward as if on a roller coaster ride, her light form zigzagging wildly before being catapulted through a door and into a room. Once inside, Sally’s and Kara’s physical bodies materialized.