‘A market stall in Hong Kong more like,’ said Loretta. ‘They don’t make handbags out of plastic in Florence.’

  Mrs Bellamy whacked Loretta in the side of the head with her handbag.

  ‘Ow!’ cried Loretta. ‘Don’t blame me if your husband is a cheapskate.’

  Inside the tent the bear bellowed.

  ‘Wesley, it’s all right,’ called the Cat Lady. ‘I won’t let the silly man hurt you.’

  ‘Let me shoot that bear!’ yelled Officer Odinsson. Constable Pike had wrestled the tranquilliser rifle out of his hands now, but Wesley had been startled by the yelling.

  Bears are intelligent creatures who understand simple concepts like another animal being unhappy because he ate all their honey cake. So fearing that he would get in trouble, Wesley took off running down the main street.

  ‘You idiot,’ said the Cat Lady, turning on Officer Odinsson. ‘You’ve scared Wesley.’

  ‘Would someone just shoot the bear so we can get on with the Daffodil Festival?’ demanded the mayor.

  Wesley was lumbering down the main street of Currawong with surprising speed until he came to the psychiatrist’s van.

  ‘Oh no,’ said April. ‘The van is full of honey cake!’

  Bears have an excellent sense of smell, so Wesley had realised this too. He turned and banged on the door of the caravan. The door, being made of thin aluminium, buckled so it was easy for Wesley to rip the whole thing off its hinges and go inside. The caravan dipped under Wesley’s weight, then shuddered and shook as Wesley methodically denuded all the cupboards of their cakey treats.

  ‘My cake,’ wailed Dr Hilary as she came running across the road from the Good Times Cafe. ‘Now I won’t get another one till next year.’

  The mayor strode up to Officer Odinsson and poked him in the chest. ‘As mayor of Currawong, I declare this to be a state of emergency and use the extraordinary powers authorised to reinstate you as the town’s animal control officer.’ She turned to Constable Pike. ‘Return his dart gun. I’m ordering him to tranquillise that bear.’

  ‘Nooo,’ cried the Cat Lady. ‘He’s an old bear. He’ll never survive it.’

  ‘You old witch!’ April yelled at the mayor. Pumpkin leapt up and bit Mayor Albright on the bottom.

  But the Peski kids, including Loretta, had already taken off running down the street towards the van.

  Officer Odinsson had grabbed back his tranquilliser rifle and was reloading.

  ‘Don’t do anything reckless,’ called Dad, running after his children.

  Joe jumped into the driver’s seat. April, Fin and Loretta leapt in alongside him. April grabbed Pumpkin, who barked happily at all the chaos. The key was already in the ignition, as is so often the way in trusting rural communities. Joe turned it and the engine roared to life.

  ‘Hit it!’ cried April. ‘We’ve got to get out of here.’

  But Joe just stared at the steering wheel. ‘I d-d-don’t know how to drive.’

  ‘Let me,’ said Loretta, climbing over April and Fin (much to his delight). She sat on Joe’s lap, stamped on the clutch and pushed the stick into gear.

  ‘Wait,’ cried Joe. ‘You’ve only got a learner’s permit. Don’t you need a responsible adult?’

  Fin leaned out the passenger window.

  Dad didn’t exactly look like a responsible adult as he ran down Main Street with his bright green robes billowing behind him and a giant yellow daffodil on his head, but he would have to do.

  ‘Dad, quick,’ cried Fin. ‘Grab hold!’

  Dad jumped up on the running board and gripped tight to the frame of the window, just as Loretta released the clutch and stamped hard on the accelerator. This probably would have worked flawlessly in her parents’ fancy car, but the thirty-year-old caravan lurched and kangaroo-hopped down the road.

  POP! The rifle fired, the dart ricocheting off the side of the caravan.

  ‘What was that?!’ cried Joe.

  Dad looked back. ‘I believe Officer Odinsson is shooting at us.’

  ‘Where are we going?’ asked Loretta.

  ‘Away from that dart gun-wielding loony,’ said Fin.

  There was a loud roar. It was Wesley. He was not enjoying being rattled about in the back of a caravan.

  ‘They’re right behind us,’ said Loretta. She could see the police car in her side mirror. ‘It’s Constable Pike.’

  April stuck her head out of the window and looked back. ‘No, it’s the mayor driving. And that nutbar, Odinsson, is leaning out the window with his rifle.’

  Another shot fired and the dart hit the wing mirror of the car, splintering the glass.

  ‘Aaagghh,’ cried Dad. The dart was now lodged in his daffodil headdress.

  ‘It’s a good job he’s such a bad shot,’ said Fin.

  ‘I’m an excellent driver, but even I can’t outrun a cop car in a thirty-year-old caravan carrying a one-ton bear,’ said Loretta.

  ‘You don’t have to,’ said Fin. ‘We just have to get over the bridge, then we’ll be outside of the town limits and by-law 5A won’t apply.’

  Loretta pressed down harder on the accelerator and the engine strained to respond.

  POP! Another shot rang out. This time Officer Odinsson’s aim was better. The caravan lurched into a sideways skid.

  ‘His dart hit one of the tyres,’ said Loretta, desperately trying to hold onto the steering wheel. ‘I can’t control it.’

  The caravan veered into the railing of the bridge with a huge crunch.

  ‘Is everyone okay?’ asked Joe.

  ‘I think I hit my head,’ said April.

  ‘So just a normal day for you then,’ said Fin.

  ‘Step out of the vehicle with your hands raised,’ ordered Officer Odinsson over the police car’s loud-hailer.

  ‘Why?’ asked Fin. ‘He knows we don’t have guns.’

  ‘It’s always better to humour lunatics,’ advised Loretta, throwing open the driver’s door, holding up her hands and smiling. ‘We’re coming.’

  They all climbed down with their hands raised.

  ‘Send out the bear,’ said Officer Odinsson.

  ‘It’s a bear,’ said April, rolling her eyes. ‘It doesn’t follow instructions.’

  But the bear apparently decided it had had enough of travelling by car. It lumbered down the steps and onto the road.

  They were all a lot closer to the bear than they had been in the gardens. It was much more intimidating close-up. Not only was Wesley a massive black bear with huge teeth and claws, he also really did stink.

  ‘Wow,’ said Fin.

  ‘He smells seriously bad,’ whispered Loretta. ‘You’re right. There is no way you could have imagined that.’

  Another car skidded to a halt just behind the police car. It was Ingrid. The Cat Lady, Neil, Dr Hilary and Constable Pike all jumped out.

  ‘Put down your weapon, Todd,’ ordered Constable Pike.

  ‘I’ve been ordered by the mayor to shoot this bear,’ said Officer Odinsson

  ‘She had no authority to do that,’ said Constable Pike. ‘You’ve already broken a dozen firearms regulations. Don’t make it worse for yourself.’

  ‘But it’s a bear,’ said Officer Odinsson.

  ‘A tame bear,’ said the constable. ‘The Cat Lady explained everything. She trained it as a cub for the circus, then when the circus disbanded she took it to live on her farm. It’s old and harmless.’

  The Cat Lady shuffled forward. ‘Wesley, be a good boy and come to Mummy.’ Wesley sniffed about. He growled affectionately at the Cat Lady’s familiar smell.

  ‘Stand back,’ barked Mayor Albright, pushing the Cat Lady back.

  Wesley did not like seeing his mummy get pushed. He stood up on his hind legs and bellowed at the mayor. She stumbled into the guardrail of the bridge, which gave way and she toppled backwards, landing with a splash in the river below.

  ‘That’ll teach you to invest in infrastructure,’ called Fin.

  ‘Help,’ cried the mayor. ‘I can’t swim!’

  ‘What’s wrong with this town?’ asked April. ‘Why would you elect a mayor who can’t even swim?’

  ‘Collective delusions,’ said Dr Hilary, shaking her head sadly. ‘I see it all the time.’

  ‘I’ll save her,’ said April, stepping up to the edge.

  ‘Not you! You’ve got a h-head injury,’ cried Joe, lunging forward to stop his sister.

  But April had already jumped in after the mayor, so Joe, as a loyal older brother, had no choice but to jump in after her.

  Then, to the surprise of everyone, Wesley followed them, leaping in with an almighty splash.

  ‘Good boy, Wesley,’ called the Cat Lady. ‘He has such a protective instinct.’

  April swam over to the bear and clambered onto his back, then reached over and grabbed the mayor by her shoulder pad. ‘Swim us to the bank now,’ April said to Wesley, and he did. April was impressed. ‘Good boy, you’re almost as well-trained as Pumpkin.’

  Two hundred metres downstream, the mayor, April, Joe and Wesley all struggled out of the water. Constable Pike drove the police car down to meet them.

  As soon as the constable established that Mayor Albright was all right, he arrested her and handcuffed her into the back of his squad car with Officer Odinsson. He wasn’t entirely sure which law Mayor Albright had broken, but he was pretty sure that ordering a council employee to hijack a police vehicle and fire tranquilliser darts at a van full of children was illegal.

  The Cat Lady comforted Wesley, who felt much better now that he had a stomach full of honey cake and was back with his mummy. The elderly bear happily squeezed himself into the back of her station wagon so he could be taken home for a nice a rest.

  The Cat Lady hobbled over to the Peski kids. ‘I suppose I owe you lot an apology,’ she mumbled.

  ‘What for?’ asked April, genuinely confused.

  ‘For making me scrape up muck for hours, for making me clean her gutters and perhaps, worst of all, for making me get up before 7 am,’ said Fin.

  ‘You deserved that,’ said April. ‘You broke her foot.’

  ‘I did not!’ yelled Fin. ‘Your dog started it!’

  Pumpkin barked happily.

  ‘Nah, I meant I’m sorry Wesley scared you,’ said the Cat Lady. ‘When he escaped from his stall in the barn I wasn’t too worried. I knew he just wanted to stretch his legs and that he’d find his way back eventually.’

  ‘So you just let your bear wander the woods without informing anyone?’ asked Fin.

  ‘Who was I supposed to report it to?’ asked the Cat Lady, turning to look at Constable Pike as he talked to the mayor and Officer Odinsson in the back seat of his patrol car. ‘Constable Nitwit or Officer Gun Crazy? Or perhaps Mayor Incompetent?’

  ‘Fair point,’ conceded Fin.

  ‘Besides, it was the broken foot that caused the problem,’ said the Cat Lady. ‘It meant I couldn’t take Wesley out for his regular exercise and he got restless.’

  ‘So it is all your fault,’ said April, prodding Fin.

  Once Constable Pike had finished talking to the mayor and Officer Odinsson, he came over to check that the Peski kids were all okay. Amazingly they were. For once, April had not banged her head too hard, but she glowered at the constable. ‘Aren’t you going to apologise too?’

  ‘For what?’ asked Constable Pike.

  ‘For not believing me,’ said April. ‘For telling everyone I was crazy and for making me see a shrink.’

  ‘I prefer the term “psychiatrist”,’ said Dr Hilary. She was sitting on the bumper of the patrol car, jotting down notes. The mayor and Officer Odinsson were fascinating case studies.

  ‘I’m not going to apologise to you!’ Constable Pike told April.

  ‘Why not?’ she demanded.

  ‘Because he knew you were right all along,’ said Fin. ‘Isn’t that right?’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ said the constable, fidgeting with his belt and not making eye contact.

  ‘Really?’ said Dr Hilary. ‘Because a flushed face and nervous twitching are tells commonly associated with lying.’

  ‘You knew there was a bear in the woods and you were part of the cover up, weren’t you?’ said Fin.

  ‘Of course!’ exclaimed Loretta. ‘That explains why he wasn’t surprised to see the statue of Agnes Dalrymple in the woods. Any decent investigator would have wondered how such a large and heavy statue had got out there. But you didn’t.’

  ‘Perhaps because you helped move it out there,’ said Fin. ‘It’s a big statue. It would be hard to transport unless you had a mini-van.’

  ‘You have got a lovely big mini-van,’ said Loretta gleefully.

  Now Constable Pike was really blushing. ‘The mayor ordered me to,’ he confessed. ‘Daffodil Day is a huge deal for this town. She didn’t want word of the bear getting out and scaring off the tourists.’

  ‘But you’re an employee of the state police force,’ said Fin. ‘She’s not your boss.’

  ‘Rowena, I mean … Mayor Albright, was head girl when I was at school,’ said Constable Pike. ‘It’s hard not to follow her orders.’

  ‘And you had a reason to stay on her good side too, didn’t you?’ said Fin.

  April gasped. ‘Because Constable Pike is secretly in love with the mayor?!’

  Constable Pike looked horrified. ‘Nooo!’

  ‘That’s not what I meant,’ said Fin. ‘I meant Constable Pike had entries in every category for the Daffodil Day competitions. He loves gardening. He would have wanted to stay on the mayor’s good side because she guides the Great Green Thumb as he judges each category.’

  ‘I just wanted one of those gold statuettes,’ admitted Constable Pike. ‘When you’re the only police officer in town, it’s hard to fit in. People are always worried I’m going to arrest them. I thought if people knew about my love of gardening, it would humanise me a bit.’

  April sniggered. ‘Idiot-ise you more like.’

  Two weeks later the Peski kids were standing on the lawn out the front of the Cat Lady’s house as she and Agnes Dalrymple posed with a shovel. Being an ornery old lady, Agnes had really enjoyed seeing the Daffodil Day celebrations overturned by a cake-crazed bear. So when she heard that the Cat Lady was going to get in trouble for keeping a bear as well as a host of other strange animals without the proper permits, Agnes took action. She donated a large sum of money to set up Currawong Zoo, so that Wesley and all of the Cat Lady’s beloved animals could be properly cared for and enjoyed by visitors. It was going to be a wonderful new tourist attraction for the town. It would have made the mayor very happy, if she hadn’t been stood down from her position while she waited to go to trial.

  The photographer from the local newspaper snapped dozens of pictures of the Cat Lady and Agnes Dalrymple holding a shovel together, symbolically breaking ground on the new zoo. Although really there wouldn’t be much actual ground breaking. The zoo would basically be the Cat Lady showing people around her barn. Or more realistically, the Cat Lady making Neil show people around her barn.

  ‘Are you done yet?’ snapped Agnes. ‘I’m very old. I don’t want to die standing here grinning like an idiot.’

  The twenty-three-year-old photographer from the local paper chuckled. ‘Just a couple more, luv,’ he cheerfully called out to the two ladies.

  ‘Did he just call me “luv”?’ Agnes asked the Cat Lady.

  ‘Yes, he did,’ said the Cat Lady. ‘Do you want to hit him with the shovel? Or shall I?’

  The photographer laughed again, but then the two ladies started towards him and he realised he’d made a terrible mistake.

  ‘Run,’ advised Fin. ‘Run as fast as you can.’

  ‘It’ll be in the paper on Monday,’ called the photographer as he sprinted for his car.

  ‘Can I come and visit Wesley sometimes?’ April asked as she petted the big hairy bear. She had grown very fond of him since he had proved himself to be real and not a symptom of her going mad.

  ‘Yes!’ exclaimed Neil, with a smile. It was the most animated thing he had ever said.

  ‘If you pay your entry fee,’ snarled the Cat Lady.

  Neil’s face fell. ‘She helped save Wesley,’ he pointed out. ‘Could we give her an annual membership?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ grumbled the Cat Lady. ‘What if she ends up hanging around all the time? She’ll get on my nerves.’

  ‘I’ll deal with her,’ said Neil earnestly.

  ‘You’re a good grandson,’ said the Cat Lady, patting him on the head.

  Fin felt pleased that his new friend would get to spend some time with April, because that was what Neil wanted more than anything in the world. But he also felt sorry for him, because he would get to spend more time with April, and that was what he wanted more than anything in the world.

  Joe drove them home. He had started to get driving lessons too. The Peski kids had agreed this was what they should spend the $1000 on. They could make do with a homemade computer for now, but someone in their family needed to be able to drive. And it was handy to schedule driving lessons for when they needed to go somewhere. Joe had borrowed that idea from Loretta.

  ‘Where is Loretta?’ asked April. ‘I thought she was going to meet us at the groundbreaking.’

  ‘That’s w-w-what she said,’ said Joe.

  ‘I can’t believe everything worked out so well,’ said Fin as they pulled into their own driveway a few minutes later. ‘There really is a bear, the mayor and Officer Odinsson are going to jail, and Constable Pike is letting us off the rest of our community service.’

  ‘In exchange for our silence about his cover-up,’ said April grimly.

  ‘Maybe we can finally settle in and become part of the community now,’ said Fin.

  ‘What, with the bunch of weirdos round here?!’ exclaimed April.

  ‘We’re not exactly normal ourselves,’ Fin pointed out.

  As if to emphasise the point, Dad came down the front steps to meet them, still wearing his daggy old dressing-gown even though it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

  ‘Speak for yourself,’ said April as she got out and slammed the door. ‘I’m a delight.’