“That’s my girl.” She moves to the sliding glass doors, they open up to a really cool balcony that has a fire pit tons of large blue comfortable looking chairs, a bar to the right, and an outdoor kitchen. The wood doesn’t even look worn from the salt water, maybe it’s teak? Or maybe it was just redone?

  I hear yelling.

  Then cursing.

  She winces. “They’re very competitive.”

  “Well, that means only one thing.” I grin and start to walk down the stairs in the direction of the cursing. “We need to beat their asses.”

  “Wait, you play cornhole?”

  “Won second place in the local championship we had last year, smoked my sister’s ass, ah, that was a good memory, I thought she was going to set my car on fire.”

  “…you’re such a dumbass!” I hear Quinn’s voice. “That’s not a point and you know it! It slid off at the last minute! Do you even know how to do math?”

  “No, idiot, because you always did my homework for me!” Another male voice chimes in. “And I’m still pissed about getting a B!”

  “You would have failed without me!” Quinn yells.

  I turn the corner, and the sight is hilarious.

  Quinn is wearing nothing but low-slung ripped jeans, flip-flops and no shirt, and the other guy has on matching black joggers with his girlfriend, his messy golden brown hair blew in the wind and he only had a black tank top on. He was a bit more built than Quinn, as in bulkier but not better looking, in fact, it was hard to tell which would win in that department, but I assumed because of that guy’s money, he won every time.

  I know how that feels.

  Felt.

  How that existence is.

  You’re the star of the show until someone else comes in and literally steals your crown, then makes you feel like the guilty party as if you purposefully dropped it or gave it to them.

  That was my sister to a T.

  “Hey!” Quinn drops the bean bags and jogs over, it’s kind of adorable. “Happy Birthday!”

  He seems so happy to be saying it that I almost burst into tears, it’s like when people ask you if you’re okay but you’re not and then you just cry through it or can’t talk out loud.

  That was him saying Happy Birthday to me.

  He doesn’t give me a chance to reply because he’s suddenly pulling me into his arms and holding me tight. He’s warm, a bit sweaty, and I love it.

  “Awww.” The girl sighs next to us. “Ambrose, how come you never—“

  “—Do not,” Ambrose jabs a bean bag at her. “Finish that sentence if you don’t want me to beat your ass at cornhole.”

  “You’ve won once!” she yells.

  “MB!” Ambrose marches over to an actual honest to God white board that has all the wins and losses written in red.

  Ambrose 1.5 wins.

  MB Seventeen.

  Quinn Seven.

  Huh.

  When Quinn releases me, I just have to ask, “How do you win halfway? Like did you get a point, and she felt sorry for you so threw half the game? Or did you just make up new rules, furthermore, I’m genuinely curious why you would write down your shame for the world to see.”

  Ambrose slowly turns. “Where did you find her again?”

  “Near death experience for both of us.” I nod. “Remember?”

  He smirks. “I’m going to start calling you thigh girl.”

  I don’t laugh. I just march over and write it on the actual board, then hand the dry erase marker back, slapping it into his hand. “Already done, now should I change your name to pussy or loser? I can’t really decide, what do you think, MB?”

  She starts to slow clap. “I knew I liked you.”

  “Do you like cake?”

  “If you don’t like cake, you aren’t even living. Who doesn’t like cake?” I almost blurt out my twin sister, but keep it on the inside like everything else.

  Instead, I just shrug. “Who knows, I was just doing some recon.”

  She nods her head. “Nice. We’ll keep you then.”

  “Aw, was this a test? Did I pass?”

  “Listen,” MB marches up to me and changes Ambrose’s name to PL, aw she made a little name for him then drew a giant heart next to it. “Anyone who can give these guys shit is a friend of mine, because they dish it out like complete lunatics. Wanna be on my team?”

  “Hey, wait!” Quinn starts to protest. “Don’t make me be on his team! Don’t do it, you know what happened last time, MB, I swear, I carried that team and you still beat us, he couldn’t even make it in the hole!”

  MB grins. “Huh, he doesn’t seem to have trouble with that in other areas of his life, should I be concerned?”

  “Like all holes?” I ask innocently.

  “Why does nobody want to be on my team?” Ambrose yells. “Fine, no girls against guys shit, I’ll be on Chloe’s team and yes sorry I already knew your name, it was a test and yes you passed.” He sticks his tongue out at MB.

  “Stick it one more time and I’ll pull it.” Her eyebrows arch.

  Ambrose holds up his hands. “Only if you promise to pull something else.”

  “Why.” Quinn asks nobody in general. “And no, you can’t be her partner, she’s my partner.”

  “Rock, paper, scissors for her.” Ambrose goads him on.

  Quinn’s eyes narrow, he looks ready to punch Ambrose in the chin. “Fine.”

  Ambrose chooses Rock.

  Quinn chooses scissors. “Son of a bitch!”

  He kicks the ground with his foot sending one of the bean bags flying, it’s cute, he’s cute and sexy all at once, I like seeing a different side of him and you can tell how awesome someone is by the people they hang out with. I suddenly want to protect them at all costs, we don’t need Sophie meeting any of them, she’d just talk trash, she’d ruin everything.

  I try to change the mood. “Well, it looks like Ambrose is my bitch now.” I laugh and hold up my hand for a high five.

  Ambrose hits it, then flips off Quinn with the other.

  “Yes, Ambrose, celebrate the one and only time you’ve won.” They both go awkwardly silent, even MB averts her eyes, not able to meet mine and staring down at the grass.

  Quinn clears his throat loudly, so loud that I’m afraid to ask what could make them suddenly so uncomfortable.

  “Well,” MB’s face has suddenly lost some color. “I’m going to take the other bitch over here and grab my beanbags, stop moping Quinn, you’ll be fine! You’re on the winning team!”

  “We’ll see!” I yell and grab my beanbags and then toss Ambrose his. He catches one, drops the other. “Wow, did you never play sports?”

  “Oh shit,” MB says under her breath.

  “Captain of the lacrosse team, if you must know!”

  “You?” I point.

  MB laughs harder.

  The good mood is back.

  Ambrose points over at Quinn. “He was captain of the chess club!”

  “Are you saying that because while he was using his brain you were playing with a stick or am I missing something, butterfingers?” I wink.

  Quinn dies laughing while MB joins in again.

  Ambrose has murder in his blue eyes. “You,” He points the beanbag at me. “Are lucky we’re teammates, otherwise I would wreck you. You hear me, get wrecked!”

  “Please don’t start rizzing.” I shake my head. “That would just further my disappointment, now try to follow through with your throw and don’t let them get in your heads!”

  He’s already staring in their direction.

  “No!” I clap in front of his face. “Listen soldier, they want to get in your head, they want you to lose, they want to humiliate you, but don’t worry, I won’t let that happen, because I’m a team player.”

  “Are you guys done hyping each other up now?” Quinn calls. “It just makes us sad.”

  “Hate being sad,” MB agrees.

  They both nod like they’re watching the beginning of a tragedy.

  “Let’s end them,” Ambrose says through clenched teeth.

  Now, I’m a little fuzzy on all the details but at one point violence did in fact take over, the boys started yelling again while MB and I carried their asses. We were tied and there was no end in sight and then suddenly MB kind of staggers then collapses to the ground.

  I run while they’re still yelling and get to her side even faster than Quinn. He panics and reaches for her at the same time Ambrose does.

  “Sweetheart.” Ambrose taps her cheek.

  Quinn jerkily pulls his hands away, concern etched across his face, and it quite honestly all clicks.

  Her.

  He said his heart was recently broken, I thought he was being sarcastic or living in the moment, I didn’t really take his words at face value until this moment.

  I lean down and reach for his hand. “She’ll be okay.”

  How weird, to comfort someone who’s still in love with someone else. Or maybe not in love, I don’t know… I have too many conflicting emotions and right now we just need to make sure she’s all right.

  Slowly, she blinks open her eyes and frowns at Ambrose. “Why am I on the ground?”

  “Because you fainted.” He’s gritting his teeth. “And you know that when you’re pregnant—“

  He stops talking.

  My mouth gapes open.

  Quinn pales next to me, squeezing my hand so tight I’m afraid he’s going to actually pull it off. “You’re pregnant?”

  MB hits him. “I just get dizzy and I just found out this morning, so thank you, dumbass of the house, for spilling everything, plus it’s early on… only a few weeks.”

  “With a baby.” Quinn’s voice cracks.

  Ambrose clenches his teeth. “No, a chicken. Yes, a baby!”

  “A baby,” he repeats again, smile sad. “I’m really happy for you guys.”

  I start to stand as Quinn pulls me up. “Hey, maybe we should all go inside, it is a weirdly hot day, and she probably needs to hydrate.”

  MB rolls her eyes. “I’m fine, plus it’s your birthday.”

  “We have all the rest of the day.” I point out. “You go nap.”

  Ambrose is already pulling her to his side and helping her get up and walk back toward the stairs.

  I’m quiet.

  Quinn’s deathly quiet.

  Happy Birthday to me?

  I clear my throat. “It’s good that you guys can all still be friends, even better that you’re happy for him, right?”

  Please say right.

  Please don’t be so hung up that you can’t see anyone else.

  Please see me.

  Quinn drops my hand, it may as well be my heart. Didn’t she make him promise not to break it?

  He puts that hand on his chest, then grabs mine again. “It doesn’t hurt like it used to, I’m just in shock because one time, just one time, I saw a way in. Had I been more honest, a better friend, made different choices, but I wouldn’t change any of that.”

  “Because hurting is a normal human process?”

  “Well that, but also because I got to meet you and as cheesy as that sounds, I really like you, even when you’re so competitive my best friend looks ready to run you over with his car.”

  “Yeah, his eyes get so big.”

  “Scary big.” He smirks, then wraps an arm around me. “Let’s go grab a snack or some drinks. God, I need a drink that actually sounds way better—and go watch a movie in my room.”

  “Is that code for birthday sex?”

  He smiles straight ahead. “I mean, if you want it to be… but I kind of just wanted to hold you.”

  Plus, how horrible of a human would I be if I slept with him like my sister did and didn’t tell him?

  How horrible is it of me that my next biggest concern is, what if he can tell because I’m not good at it?

  Selfish.

  But it is my birthday so I accept it. “Sounds good.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Quinn

  I want her again.

  So bad. It’s ridiculous. She’s so pretty, and it’s not just that, it’s just this feeling I have. She’s walking down the hall, I watch her steps and think to myself, I’m an idiot because I’m obsessed with the cadence, like how does a human get obsessed with how someone walks?

  But I am.

  Fully invested, by the way, in how she walks. Her hips sway, there are tiny things about her that are so amazing but it’s almost like she saves them for me when I’m watching. She looks over her shoulder and smiles. Meanwhile, I nearly walk into a wall, then the fridge, then take a minute.

  A near death experience and I met someone for a reason, I hope.

  I just want to be close to her and I feel a weird need to do exactly that.

  I would hold her if that’s what she wanted.

  I would kiss her on the cheek, ask permission to hold her hand, she’s just so interesting and fun. I feel like she gets me and I get her.

  It’s different than it was with MB, I was in full protective mode along with having a whole secret life that I shouldn’t have kept secret. I was in a war with my best friend, and oh yeah, trying to survive my dad’s heavy hand on everything I did since apparently being in the chess club was so not the direction he wanted me going.

  But Chloe? She was free.

  And she was mine.

  The only thing that has been mine in a very long time, like a secret I keep between just us and don’t have to feel guilty about.

  “Hey.” I grab her hand, then slap her ass. “Go into my room, first door on the right in the hallway, and I’ll grab us some snacks.”

  She smiles, but it feels like a different sort of smile, maybe she’s nervous, I don’t know, but it just feels off.

  I ignore it as she walks by because I know it’s her birthday and maybe she’s just sad and I want to make her feel special. It’s important she knows that it wasn’t a one-night stand, that it was us, her, together. I’ve been through a lot with my past and I’m just so done and while I don’t know her entire history, I feel like she’s the same way.

  I smile as I walk to the fridge and grab two cokes.

  This is it, right?

  When you find someone and you’re at peace.

  When you feel for someone else but know they will only ever be a friend and when you find someone you know will be more than that or could be?

  I don’t want to stress Ambrose out because hello apparently MB is pregnant which is a whole different thing I refuse to even think about, but also, I can’t be angry, they’re in this for the long run and if that means they have a baby before they planned, I’m good with that, it was just a huge shock, but I’m good, I have other things to look forward to and I’m finally moving past everything and it’s all because she makes me feel like I never had my heart broken, which is just… huge for me.

  I smile as I grab some Twizzlers, a few cans of Trulys, and make my way back to the room I’m staying in. She’s already on the bed, her hair is spread across a pillow. “Why is this so comfy?”

  “Because it’s my room.” I answer. “Any other questions, or do you want to watch something epic?”

  “Yes, because watching suspense always works for us. Oh no, is this our porn?”

  I laugh so hard I nearly fall off the bed I just climbed onto. “No, that would be weird, imagine Jason Statham, never mind, it just got weird, eat a Twizzler.”

  She laughs and grabs the pack from me, opening it and tugging one out, her smile is wide and free. I want to think I did that to her, I want to think I can do more to her, again and again.

  I really like her.

  I finally feel like I’m on a different journey.

  One that wasn’t pushed for me, but one I chose.

  Finally.

  Her teeth tug into the Twizzler, she moans, I moan internally and watch as she tucks her hair behind her one ear with her left hand like she needs more space to chew or maybe to experience.

  I say nothing.

  It’s so good.

  I feel it.

  She keeps chewing and finally finishes the Twizzler with her eyes closed, then opens them and looks at me. “What?”

  “Nah, just sexy watching you eat.”

  She blushes, then looks away. “Sorry, was way too hungry.”

  “Same.” But not for Twizzlers. “What do you want to watch?”

  Her blue eyes turn to me… they focus then unfocus like she’s thinking about something serious before responding, like she’s uncertain before she clears her throat reaches for another Twizzler and points to the TV and says, “A documentary, like something very tragic, that’s perfect.”

  “Yeah, okay, so setting the mood, I feel you.”

  Chloe shoves my face with her hand. “Hey, I like those kinds of shows.”

  “Yes, they are extremely uplifting and sexy on your birthday, oh look death, destruction, drugs, cheating, tell me more!”

  Her laugh is impossible to miss as she climbs onto me and straddles my lap. “I like learning.”

  I sigh when I put my hands on her shoulders and run them down her arms. “Yes, I also like exploring.”

  “Wow.” She breathes, and again her eyes seem unfocused, uncertain maybe is a better word, like she’s either dreaming or experiencing a nightmare, I can’t tell which so I start to pull back but then she grabs my wrists.

  I stay midair with her gripping them tight.

  Her chest rises and falls.

  “You okay?” I ask. I mean, I want to add, it was only a movie, but she’s looking like this is life or death. “What’s going on?”

  “You like me?” she asks, licking her bottom lip and taking a deep breath. “Right?”

  I almost snort. “Yeah, obviously. I mean, my time is extremely valuable. Why would I waste time with someone I don’t like, but also, you’re funny and amazing, except for when we had ice cream, and you just bounced.”

  She flinches.

  “You good?” I ask.

  She nods her head slowly. “So it’s me, only me?”

  “It’s only ever been you for two straight weird days of insta-love and sex, why do you ask? Then again, we are young, damn, are we like the Top Gun of Seaside just jumping into things and going a million miles a minute? I’m here for it, I swear I am just—“