I opened and closed my mouth. Was this really happening? Or was I still out cold and hallucinating? I was going to go with the first one. This is real. “I…ah…”

  He scooted down, and in a swift movement, removed my pants. With a flick of his wrist, they flew across the room. I didn’t know what to do or how to behave, as I never— Men didn’t want to…

  “Crew?”

  He kissed the top of both my knees before he slid my panties down my legs. I shivered. Anticipation had never been so sweet. Or terrifying. But I wanted him. I craved Crew’s attention like a drug, and I was afraid I’d happily become addicted to him.

  “This okay, sweetness?”

  That’s a new name. Although some men liked using nicknames, no one had ever called me that one before. “If you want to. You know you don’t have to do this.”

  “The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen is offering herself to me, and you think I would pass up on the feast? It’s the stuff of dreams, Raven, and I lived a long time without dreams.”

  He pushed my knees aside and kissed his way down my legs, caressing each of my thighs. I watched his face, surprised by the nearly worshipful expression I saw there. I swallowed. We had to stay bare, hairless all the time, but without the products we used at home, I had a little growth. Would he like it? Did it matter?

  It was such new territory to me. I didn’t know what the rules were, or how to behave.

  Crew touched the small curls between my legs reverently before he raised his eyes to find my gaze. “You’re red everywhere.”

  “I think that’s normal.” I’d never thought about it before, but he wasn’t wrong. Redheads did tend to be red everywhere. I had opened my mouth to ask about his opinions when Crew touched his lips to those curls, frying my every thought.

  His voice was low, so low I could barely hear him, but I could feel his words there, between my legs. “I want to taste you everywhere.”

  Moisture flooded my core. Damn. I hadn’t known talking could be seductive, but it was—it really, really was. He moved lower, licking me, and I squirmed, almost coming off the bed before his hand on my knee held me still.

  I closed my eyes. It was too much to look right then, too much to see. I could only feel what was happening, only let myself exist on that plane and no other.

  Finally, and too soon, he found my clit. With the smallest nip, he used his tongue to torture me in the sweetest ways. Crew took silent direction really well. If I moved or caught my breath, he gave me more of that sensation.

  I wanted to cry out, wanted to let go from the pleasure he gave me, but I couldn’t. I never orgasmed, never made a sound during sex that hadn’t been put on or used to make the other person feel good. It was like I couldn’t find my own voice, only gasping in need.

  The vulnerability of noise, it seemed, wasn’t available to me, not when he gave me so much and my body ached for him. But Crew was there, he was giving me these moments, and he was strong, big enough to take on just about anything.

  I let go. With a shout so loud I was sure that not only could everyone on this planet hear me but all the ones in the galaxy, too, I exploded around his tongue. Gripping the bed, I panted and held on for dear life while he wrung every ounce of pleasure out of me.

  When he was done, my body twitched like an electric current fed it and every so often, despite the fact the switch was off, it jolted me.

  Crew pulled me against him to hold me tightly. “That was amazing. Thank you for that.”

  Thank me? I hadn’t done a thing. Despite the lack of application of my seductive skills, he shook against me as if he’d been the one to shatter somewhere in the stars. I began to move, intending to remedy that situation, but his hand gripped me closer to him.

  “Need to hold you for a few more minutes, sweetness,” he grumbled, nuzzling my neck.

  I lifted my brow to regard him. “I want to make you feel good now.”

  “You did.” He stroked my back, his head on my shoulder. “Trust me, you did. That was more than I could have dreamed of. If you’d let me, I’d make you feel good that way every day forever.”

  I stroked my finger down the side of his face. “We’re not finished.”

  I enjoyed the taste, but I wanted more. I wasn’t done, not even close to being done. I wanted him to shatter for me, too.

  His face fell. “I’m terrified of hurting you. You’re so tiny, and I’m so much bigger than you. I…”

  “Sshh,” I said and kissed both of his cheeks, smirking. “I promise. This will be great. You won’t hurt me. Just the opposite.”

  I pulled my shirt off and let it fall to the ground. My bra was next. I dropped it to the floor. Now, I had his total attention, his gaze fixated on my breasts. Although I couldn’t read minds, I was sure that he wasn’t thinking with his nerves anymore.

  In a swift move, I pulled his shirt off, which required him to help, but he still hadn’t taken his gaze from my breasts. Looks like Crew is a boob man. I smiled. Most men were, but I never reveled in the attention as much as I did right then.

  “Do you want to suck on my nipples?” I asked, biting my lip.

  He nodded, still hypnotized. “If that’s something you’d like.”

  “From you, I would.” I scooted closer to him. “But I want us both undressed before we do that.”

  I wanted my hands on his skin everywhere, and to feel his cock jump when I stroked him. To harden. To be mine for just a little while. It should have been awkward, undressing him, since we were lying down, it always seemed more awkward that way. But nothing other than anticipation filled me, even as we practically switched sides of the bed to get his pants off.

  Crew was huge, and I reveled in looking at all of his flesh bared to me. I let my gaze pass down his body—over his defined abs and huge muscles to the way that his calves flexed with his movements, and finally to his very erect, waiting-for-me, cock.

  “You on top, I think,” he said. Crew’s voice was low. “That way you can’t be hurt in any way. You’ll determine how things fit, what you like and don’t like.”

  He was really sweet, but I hated him worrying when he should be enjoying. I climbed onto his lap, wrapping my legs around him when I did. “I’m not worried, and I’m not fragile. We were made to do this together.”

  Whatever he would have said, I didn’t let him finish. Instead, I lifted my knees enough that I could take hold of his cock and I pressed down on him, taking him inside of me inches at a time. He sucked in air, his eyes closing on pleasure. “Fuck.”

  I watched him, his whole body wire taut for me. In the middle of this moment, there was something so beautiful about him succumbing to sensation. His lids lifted, slowly, his gaze heated and focused entirely on me. “I didn’t know it would feel like this. I didn’t know anything could. It’s you, Raven. From the moment you…Fuck.”

  I leaned down and kissed him, moving my body to rub against him. Warmth flooded me. Yes, up and down. Vibrant sensation zinged through me with each movement, unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Instead of nothing or discomfort, little fireworks of pleasure shot through me, arching upward and building somehow.

  Giving in to instinct, I squeezed my breasts, tweaking the nipples between my fingertips. Another jolt of pleasure moved through me, and Crew moaned, so I reached down and squeezed his nipple on my next thrust onto his shaft. I didn’t imagine it was easy to bring the beautiful man to such unrivaled want. He was mine right then, and I loved the sensation, and the power of it.

  Then I more than loved it. Pleasure warmed me from the inside, traveling outside until I swore I could feel it in my toes. Heat like lava. It traveled my body. I moved faster, chasing the sensation, and the more I did, the more Crew responded. He grew even impossibly harder, grasping onto my hips, driving me down on top of him. It seemed as though he knew what he was doing, all of a sudden, and I didn’t, lost to my needs. It’s amazing how quickly the tables can turn.

  I knew the mechanics, but I’d never experienced anything like Crew before. Hadn’t known it was possible. He had. And, oh yes, I needed him, didn’t know how I’d ever done without him. Was it…was it…?

  I exploded, finally making it over the impossible crest and shattering into a million tiny pieces. He cried out, jerking inside of me, his fingertips tight against my hips. My muscles clenched around him, the orgasm dragging impossibly onward. Again and again, until I quaked with pleasure. He pulled me to him, our bodies becoming even more tangled, but I melted into him. Crew kissed me, all over my face. I closed my eyes, just trying to breathe.

  It wrecked me. Pleasure, so much it bordered on painful, yet I loved every second of it.

  Confusion ran over me. What did any of it mean?

  I swallowed, my breath still wheezing out of me as tiny aftershocks shook my body. How was I supposed to go back to letting men rut on top of me after that? I shook my head. Maybe I didn’t have to? Except I did. No, I needed my head to shut down. Tomorrow’s problems could wait for tomorrow. I wanted to be there, in the moment with the beautiful man kissing me and stroking my back. Yes, that’s nice.

  Really nice. My thoughts settled. In fact, they seemed to float away.

  He rubbed my back, kissing me, his lips dragging little sparks of pleasure along my skin. Maybe he’d keep doing that forever?

  I must have drifted off, because when I opened my eyes again, I was sprawled over his chest. Outside, a bird’s shrill call grated my ears, which was probably what had woken me. I yawned and thought about how much I’d been sleeping since I got to their planet. Granted, I’d been injured, but still, it seemed like a lot. I lifted my head and Crew grinned at me.

  “Hey, sweetness,” he whispered. “You okay?”

  I would always be okay if he continued to look at me with kindness, adoration, and the light of the universe illuminating from his gaze. I blinked. Okay, dramatic?

  I didn’t live in a world where the light from the universe did anything, let alone blaze from his mind. I wasn’t the kind of girl who got lost in ridiculousness after sex. Yes, it felt incredible. The best ever. I hadn’t known it could be like that, but I knew better than most how sex had little to do with emotions. Most of the time, it was just a business transaction.

  I met his gaze again, and my good sense fled as my lips curled in a silly grin. Damn it. I was hooked on this guy. Not just him, either. I was sure, if the others were there, I’d be equally willing to do it with them. It wasn’t even about the sex, although it did confirm what I already suspected.

  I fell for them because they were being kind to me. Because they seemed to care.

  Because they saved me. More than once.

  Plus, they’re gorgeous and smart and…

  I shook my head at Crew. “My head is all over the place.”

  “So is mine.” He ran a hand through my hair. “A million different thoughts. One to the next. I thought maybe it was normal. Maybe I don’t know how to do this—how to live without some kind of chemical lobotomy fucking with my mind. Maybe I just don’t know how to control my thoughts now.”

  I scooted up a little bit, so we could be forehead to forehead. “I’ve never been lobotomized, but this is not how I normally am. I feel different, and I don’t know yet if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

  He closed his eyes and took a long breath. “Just taking you inside of me for a second. Letting the scent of you into my cells.”

  I grinned, amusement flooding me. “Like that! You probably don’t say things like that normally, right?”

  He opened his lids. We were so close, we were pretty much breathing the same air. “I don’t. I’m not some kind of poet. I’m barely a man. I’m a monster created to lead monsters. I had one chance to change my life, to be better, to fix it for all of them, and I didn’t take it. They would’ve followed me to a better life on the other side of the galaxy, but I chose to stay with Evander. That makes me a pretty bad monster leader, when it comes down to it.”

  “Crew, you saved them. That’s what they all say. You saved them. You did that. Maybe that time on earth when you didn’t change sides, it just means you’re loyal. Right or wrong, you don’t abandon who brought you to the party. And hindsight is always clearer, right? Like we know what to say days later, after someone insults us.”

  He smirked at me. “If someone insults me, I don’t usually let them live long enough to repeat the performance. If they insulted you, they’d be dead in a very painful way. I’m your monster now, too, beautiful.”

  I lifted an eyebrow. He moved through two nicknames for me, back and forth. “You need to pick a nickname for me and stick with it. How will I know when you’re addressing me versus someone else?”

  His laugh surprised me. We were moving through so many emotions; it was hard to keep up. “I don’t use nicknames for other people, so they’re all you. Like I wouldn’t ever call Mace sweetheart, just to be clear.”

  I tilted my head, then raised a brow. “Why not?”

  “Well…he might kick my ass.”

  I could stay like this all day, every day. I never needed to move. I would stay tucked against him forever and ever, laughing, and saying terribly important things that might not actually have any meaning at all. It would be a constant dichotomy of confusion that I somehow loved. I smiled at the idea before asking, “Could he? Kick your ass?”

  “If I let him.” His breath caught for a second. “We have company, speaking of Mace. He’s headed toward us. Guess he really didn’t want to wait until I brought you back. He couldn’t possibly believe you were fine without seeing it himself.” He smirked. Crew wasn’t really talking to me right then, he was talking to Mace. “Yeah? I’ve had you to myself long enough.”

  Mace’s intrusion didn’t actually bother me, and I didn’t think it bothered Crew either. He could come and lie here too, talking nonsense with us. He could be part of the golden moment. In fact, they all could. Having them around would multiply our happiness, not deflate it.

  Crew kissed me, his caress a promise of more to come, if not at the moment. Soon, his kiss promised.

  I squirmed to get off him and put on some clothes, only to discover my body ached from our time together. By the time I grabbed my shirt, I full-on winced.

  Crew touched my arm. “How badly did I hurt you?”

  “I’m not hurt.” I leaned over to kiss his chin. “I’m sore in the best possible way. Don’t obsess, okay?”

  He sighed. “But I’m so good at it.”

  We had that in common.

  11

  FEVER DREAMS

  It took Mace about a half an hour to reach us, which raised Crew’s eyebrows. We were both dressed and waiting when he arrived, and I didn’t have to be a Super Soldier with enhanced everything to tell Mace wasn’t feeling well. I rose when he appeared, but Crew shook his head.

  “You shouldn’t have come if you were feeling like hell.” He sighed. “I can hear you struggling. We could’ve come back, and you could’ve been resting.”

  Mace ignored him, staring at the ship instead. “Amazing to see one in this good of condition. And there’s really a med machine?”

  “There is one, yes. We could put you in it.”

  Mace shrugged. “Only if you want to fight first. I’m done with machines messing with my insides.”

  Crew didn’t move, yet the tilt of his head made Mace drop his gaze for a second. There were obviously really long-term unspoken conversations between these two. I’d never really thought about it, but it did seem Mace was his number two, the one he looked to in order to get things done. Maybe it had always been that way.

  Mace wasn’t in charge, but he was high up for sure. Did Crew deliver a set down without saying a word? I put my hand on Mace’s forehead, judging his condition. Under my touch, his brow burned, proving he ran a fever.

  “I’ve never seen a Super Soldier with a fever before,” I admitted then tugged on his hand. “Crew’s right. You shouldn’t have made this trek right now.”

  He sighed and sank on the stairs next to Crew. “I’ve always been defective.”

  “What does that mean? Hold that thought.” I rushed into the ship and came back outside with a cloth and some water. Combining the two, I wet the cloth. I always liked the sensation of a cool cloth when I was sick. “Go on. Defective?”

  He shook his head. “I always got sick when the others didn’t. The bosses didn’t know about it because Crew hid it from them. Otherwise, they would’ve put me down. This isn’t sick, though. This is the result of stopping that machine.”

  I winced and sat next to him. “I’m sure Crew had a good reason for not telling anyone.” Placing the cloth on the back of his neck must have been the right thing to do, because the second I did, he closed his eyes and sighed.

  “I did.” Crew stretched out his legs. “No one was putting him down just because he could catch a flu. Mace is my family, and he was the best at what he did. No, fuck that.”

  I continued to rub the back of his neck. “The med machine would probably help.”

  He shook his head. “No. No more machines. Don’t people get better? Don’t regular people get sick or have a reaction and then their own bodies fix it? Sure, we need the intervention when it’s serious, but shouldn’t I be able to just get better?”

  Mace put his head on his knees. Crew side-eyed him then turned to me. “He tends to get a little belligerent when he doesn’t feel well or if he gets injured. He’ll go in the machine if I tell him to go in the machine, but what his body is telling me is that he needs a nap. I’d bet, if he got some rest, his fever would go down and he’d be fine. Meantime, I’ll fly us home.”

  “No.” Mace opened his eyes. “I don’t want to go home right now. I don’t want to be this sick with everyone knowing it. I want to be able to fall apart a little bit with only you, Ransom, and Gunnar knowing. And Raven. I don’t want the entire contingent of Super Soldiers here to know my business.”