I never had to consider my life before, since its course seemed predestined. If I got to make choices, I wanted to make good ones.

  13

  THE WEAPONS ARE BEHIND THE BAR

  The Frog and The Bull got really busy that night. The door seemed to practically remain open all night as people came and no one wanted to leave. The regular humans mixed with the enhanced, which would have made my head spin at home, where only Amias would deign speak to us normal humans. There were more of each crowd than I would’ve imagined, though no children arrived, just adults, and the regular folks were getting really drunk. The former Super Soldiers drank too, but it didn’t seem to make them drunk, which fell in line with what I knew about them. They couldn’t get drunk.

  I never drank alcohol back home. I wasn’t opposed or anything, but it was against the rules, and I mostly followed rules. But Ransom poured all night, and I kept cleaning glasses. In the kitchen, Mace would cook up food to order while Gunnar served their many customers. I wasn’t sure what Crew did exactly, except it seemed a bit like crowd control. Everyone talked to him, and he wandered around eyeing all of them.

  Ransom nodded to me. “It’ll clear out soon. Anytime now. I think this crowd was mostly to see you.”

  I waved my hand. “I’m not that interesting. They could see me on the street.”

  “Raven,” a young woman approached me. I hadn’t noticed her before, but a man I guessed was her husband stood behind her. “I hoped I could say hi and welcome. My name is Chanel. This is my brother, Jova.” She smiled. Okay, I read that wrong. “We were hoping we could invite you to dinner sometime. There aren’t a lot of new people in this area, and we’d love to get to know you.”

  Her smile was bright, but I gaped for a few seconds, completely at a loss. “Sure, I’d love that,” I sputtered.

  “Great.” She smiled at me again. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ll come by when you’re less busy, and we can make plans. Have a good night.”

  Well…that happened. I turned to Ransom but he wasn’t smiling. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t like how Jova looked at you.”

  I blinked. “For real? He didn’t look at me any particular way, and I notice those things. It was my job for a long time to notice them, if you remember correctly. I promise, they were just being friendly.”

  He leaned on the bar. “Butterfly, I can hear things you can’t. I promise you, he likes you.”

  Well, that’s neither here nor there. I shrugged. “A lot of men have liked me. I really only like you guys.”

  It must have been the right answer, because he leaned over and kissed me roughly, his lips both possessive and claiming. “Good,” he said once I was breathless.

  I picked up another glass, preparing to dry it to keep my hands busy as heat flooded my cheeks. “Butterfly?”

  “It fits for you, so I’ve decided to use it as a nickname. I hope you like it, since it’s what I’m going to call you.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Unless you don’t like it.”

  The intimacy of having a secret shared name that only he could use for me somehow pleased me. “Amias used to call me sister, as if I was his sister just because I was Stone’s sister. My brother called me Little Sis. Those are the only nicknames I’ve ever been given before. Butterfly sounds nice. Do I have wings I don’t know about?”

  I mock looked at my back and he winked at me. “You do. You just can’t see them. I can. It’s part of my Super Soldier powers.”

  “I see. I’ll add that to what I know about you guys. Can see invisible wings.” I patted his arm, his muscles stretching his shirt out under my touch making me smile.

  “Do that.”

  Mace joined us and set down glasses fresh from the dishwasher. The tech they owned sometimes startled me, since wilderness surrounded us, but I reminded myself they brought in what they wanted when they took over the planet. Amias had called their world uncivilized, but I thought it just the opposite. The longer I stayed, the more clearly I could see it. At home, the ones in power maintained access to all the tech in the known universe. Sure, only certain people of their selection got to use that tech, but they had access to it nonetheless. Conversely, on their planet, they did without most things, yet they lived like they were the people with everything because they shared their resources. They were grateful, happy, and kind.

  Will I someday think of this place as home?

  “Thank you.” I took the glasses from Mace then scanned over his body with my gaze. “I like you in that color.”

  He looked down like he wasn’t sure what he wore. The soft blue shirt flattered his coloring, bringing out warmth in his skin tone and his darkly fringed eyes. His smile was huge. “Thank you, Raven. Your words mean a lot to me. I…I like that you think I look good in this color.” His cheeks reddened just a bit. It was so sweet; I had to lean over and kiss him—right there on the spot that turned red.

  He stared at me for a long second before he kissed me back. “Please keep doing that forever.”

  My heart turned over, bottoming out in my stomach somewhere. It was so easy to make them happy, and I wanted to do it over and over.

  “What does it feel like?” One of the Super Soldiers—I had to get used to calling them that instead of enhanced, since they preferred it—that I didn’t know spoke to us. Despite the ambient noise of all the people in the room, I felt absolutely sure he spoke directly to me as he stared us down. “To have that kind of thing? Kissing? Affection?”

  Mace and Ransom made eye contact, and finally Mace spoke. ‘Like we’re human. Like we’re real.”

  “You okay, Scotch?” Ranson lifted an eyebrow “Dark night? Where are your people?”

  “Going home to them.” He said with a nod as he rose from his chair. “If I found the kind of jewel you have, I’d go off the machine, too. We all would.” He smiled, but there was no mirth in it. “But I doubt that’s going to happen for the rest of us.”

  With that statement, he disappeared into the night. Mace grimaced, and it was like some of the warmth of the night leaked out with the other man’s departure. “Shit. I’ll go make sure he gets home okay. I know he can go to bad places in his head, with what happened.”

  “What happened?” Maybe it wasn’t my business, but he brought it up. Mace turned and ran out the door after Scotch instead of answering. The movement seemed to spur others to follow. With mostly laughter, and some of the regular people singing, customers started to exit the bar.

  Ransom sighed, waving at departing guests. “It’s a sad story. Goes back to our Earth battles, but it’s not really our story to tell.”

  I shook my head, touching his arm again. “Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have asked. You’re okay?”

  His eyes shone for a second. “I’m better than okay, butterfly. I’m alive, maybe for the first time in my life, and that’s because of you.”

  I snorted. “I’m just a girl from nowhere. Anything that happened to you is because you’re wonderful.”

  Crew leaned on the bar, stopping our conversation. “Are you two okay to close up for the night? Gunnar wants to make sure everyone gets home safely, and quite a few drank more than normal. Also, I’d like to find out why Scotch was alone tonight. I’m going to go see Tango and the others. Maybe he took off and they don’t know where to find him. I’ll be gone until maybe two in the morning, but I’ll hustle. I have no desire, none, to be running around when I could be home, tucked in next to Raven.”

  Had anyone ever been so lucky as me? Gunnar bumped into him gently. “I’m guessing Ransom gets one side of her tonight. If I beat you back, I’m taking the other side. In case you’re curious, I’m going to beat you back.” He sighed, dramatically. “But Mace might beat both of us.”

  “We’re going to make a schedule.” Crew winked at me. “Assuming Raven wouldn’t prefer to sleep alone. We don’t know, she could prefer to have a bedroom to herself.”

  They got so still, I scanned their faces quickly, looking for clues. It was like they’d all braced for a blow, and I crumpled my brow at the thought of my words having that much power over them. “No, I liked the company. Please keep joining me. I feel…steadier when you’re with me. I feel more alive, too. Like I’m not about to blow away into the universe where no one will ever remember I existed.”

  I spoke the words before I let myself even really think them. They hit me as I said them, and I instantly regretted my honesty. I have to find a way not to be too much. I have to…

  Ransom’s arms came around me and he drew me against his chest. His heart beat strong and steady in my ear, and I relaxed into him with a sigh. “We will never let you blow away anywhere. And we will always know who you are. Want to know why that is?”

  I swallowed, blinking fast. “Why is that?”

  “Because you’re ours.”

  Crew stroked a hand down the side of my face, drawing my gaze to his handsome face. “That’s right. You’re ours. So whatever you’re worrying about—and I can see that you’re worrying by your expression, and I can hear it in the speed of your heartbeat—don’t. You’re with us. I wonder sometimes, too, if anything about me matters. But then you came and suddenly I can see the point of my existing at all.”

  Maybe I wasn’t the only one who could say big things. His statement didn’t make me want to run away. If anything, it just made me feel seen. I smiled at him in gratitude.

  “Okay.” I pulled back from Ransom. “Yes, please make a schedule. I want to sleep with everyone as much as I can.”

  “I will.” He laughed then kissed my lips again.

  Mace leaned over and brushed his lips against mine, causing another little rush of heat. “I’ll be back. Got to get these drunk people home safely. Can’t let them hurt themselves.”

  I smiled at all of them. “So you run the bar, take care of the patrons, and make sure people you know are okay. You’re all amazing.”

  I watched as they left, feeling full, but not with food…with happiness. Ransom handed me a glass and I started drying them again. We had a routine, and although he could probably work faster without my help, he didn’t indicate impatience. Instead, he synced with me, and we found a rhythm.

  After a time, he raised his head and winced. I considered him with a furrowed brow. “Something the matter?”

  The door swung open seconds before a man entered—obviously a Super Soldier, and from Ransom’s reaction to his arrival, he wasn’t happy to see him.

  “Evans?” He sighed. “What is it tonight?” He drummed his fingers on the bar. “What’s tonight’s complaint?”

  He pointed at Ransom. The sober, enhanced man —whoops, Super Soldier—looked angry. “I want my gold.”

  “You were paid.” Ransom sounded bored, as though he’d heard it before. “Actually, you were paid more than you were owed, because Crew felt bad for you. He’s kinder than me, because I would’ve told you to shove the gold down your throat until you choked on it. Mace almost died on that operation, because your fucking intel was bad. Despite that, you got paid. So, if that is all you want to discuss—and I’m sick of this shit—get the fuck out of here.”

  He jerked his head toward the door once, as if implying Evans should find his way that direction. Rather than leaving, Evans took a seat at the table nearest to us. “How about a drink first? Considering all the gold you owe me—that you know you owe me, even if you’re being an ass about it—I’ll take a drink.” He stared at me then, as though he only just really noticed me. “Actually, make it a drink and a roll around with your whore, and I’ll call it even. She can pay me in pussy.”

  Everything moved so fast, I could hardly track it with my eyes. I touched my skin, where the marks indicated my status on Clarke’s planet, and—that fast, Ransom was on Evans. He ripped Evans from his chair. “You don’t talk to my girl like that. Not about her. Not to her. You’ll never speak to our girl, or about her, again.” Ransom pounded on his face, one sharp punch and then another.

  Evans laughed. They were both Super Soldiers, so punching him wasn’t going to be enough. Ransom knew it, so he lifted him up and then they ripped at each other with claw and tooth. I gasped. Were they going to tear each other to actual pieces?

  Pieces of clothing went flying. They went for each other’s chests. I wasn’t wrong—they intended to rip each other apart limb from limb.

  I rushed around the side of the bar, not sure what to do to stop them “Ransom, stop!” I didn’t dare get too close, as one stray punch from them that hit me could literally cave in my chest. “Stop. It’s not worth it. It’s nothing. I’m fine. I swear I am.”

  He didn’t or couldn’t hear me. Or maybe he just disagreed? Regardless, the fight continued. Chairs flew everywhere, so I ducked out of the way of flying debris. That was when I saw it. Evans reached into his pocket and pulled something else out. It looked small, like a patch of something. I recognized it instantly, as I saw them used back home by Clarke and his goons to punish the enhanced.

  “No!” I knew what he intended to do, and knew I needed to stop him. Knowing and being able to act fast enough turned out to be two different challenges, as I no sooner said no than he slammed the patch down on Ransom’s face. For just a second, I saw realization strike my guy before he fell to the floor, silent in his agony.

  Oh, this isn’t good. I couldn’t help Ransom until I took down Evans, but I was just one person, and I wasn’t special. Suddenly, I remembered the townspeople gifted me with weapons, and Ransom put them behind the bar. I grabbed for one, pleased when my hand closed on something solid in the box. I recognized it, since Amias had one and he’d shown me how to work it, despite the rules.

  Easy, I remembered him saying. Just point and click. I lifted it and fired it straight into Evans’ back, just like Amias showed me. Evans froze mid-movement before his body seized and he fell to the floor, still twitching. I dropped my weapon, my hands shaking and my knees going weak . Had I killed him? I really had no idea, but I couldn’t look, not then. I rushed to Ransom, ripping the pain patch off his beautiful face.

  Shit. My hand spasmed and I dropped it. Yep, I shouldn’t have touched it with my fingers. Oh that was stupid. But it would pass.

  At least it was off Ransom.

  He groaned and reached for me. “Butterfly.”

  “I’m okay.” I wasn’t but I would be, I knew, and I gritted my teeth as fear tangled with the gel off the patch in my system.

  The door flung open and Crew rushed into the room. He grabbed both Ransom and myself in his arms, burying his face in my neck. “Are you okay? Are you both okay?”

  “They’re not.” Mace touched us both. When did he show up? “But they will be. The effects of the patch pass , as long as we get it off them.”

  “It passes us.” Gunnar was there, too? “But she touched it, and she’s fragile.”

  Already, the pain fled my body, my head clearing. “I’m okay. It’s going away. I swear it is.”

  “Okay.” Crew set me down before he placed Ransom in a chair. The latter held his head in his hands. How badly was he hurt? It had been on him so much longer. “Where did he get that fucking patch? Why are all of these old weapons showing up? He shouldn’t have had that.”

  Past tense. “Is he dead?”

  Ransom lifted his head and extended his hand, pulling me to him. “Don’t you ever do that again. Don’t you ever risk yourself for me again. You run. Do you understand me? If there’s danger, you run.”

  “Nothing had to happen.” My voice shook. “You were going to kill each other. It didn’t have to happen. He only called me a name. I don’t even care about it, and he’s not even wrong. You called me that yourself, since it was literally my job title, just…how long ago was it? A week? And…”

  Ransom dropped to the floor. In a flash, his head pressed against my stomach as my arms came around him, instinctively holding him to me. “I’m sorry, butterfly. I’m so sorry. I should never have said that. It was mean, and I was grief stricken, but it’s absolutely not okay. Forgive me. I should never have used that word, especially not with you. That is not what you are.”

  I kissed the top of his head. “It’s okay, Ransom. It really is, but that’s my point. It’s only a word. It doesn’t matter. And, look at me. Maybe you don’t see it anymore, but the tattoos on my head have always—and will always—tell people I’m a whore. For some people, I’ll never be more than that tattoo. I’m sorry, but if you want to be part of my life for the long run, you’re going to have to get used to hearing that sometimes without reacting to facts. I can’t have anything happening to you because of me.” My voice broke, and I scrubbed at my wet cheeks. I was crying and I didn’t even realize it. I blinked up at them, searching their faces. “Is he dead? I killed him?”

  “You did.” Gunnar kissed my cheek, letting my tears fall against his mouth. “And you were perfect as far as I can tell. You aimed and you shot. You didn’t miss. You did just as you should have.”

  I closed my eyes. “Who will come to arrest me?”

  “What?” Mace waited until I opened my eyes to regard him before he spoke again. “What do you mean, sweetie?”

  “I killed a man. There are laws, I’m sure. Someone will arrest me, and someone else will decide what happens to me.”

  Ransom rose from the floor, pressing our foreheads together. “Butterfly, half the town heard what happened. They were all rushing here but stopped when the guys arrived. I could hear them distantly. It all happened very fast.”

  “Felt slow.” Not that it mattered.

  Crew continued speaking when Ransom stopped. “Everyone heard what happened. No one would dare arrest you, not that we have an agency set up to manage that sort of thing. We tend to…handle each other, and no one would want to do anything but give you a hug.”

  I blinked. Considering his words, I turned to Ransom. “I shot some mean words at you that night, too, Ransom. I told you I had no blood on my hands and accused you of basically being a killer. Tables sure have turned now, right? I’ve killed someone. I’m the one with blood on my hands.” I looked at my hands, as if to show him, and noticed they shook.