She could hear the speaker still churning out noises, although they were inaudible. That weird-ass voice that reminded her of Dad.

  But the screen was cracked, and it had gone completely black.

  She was on her own now.

  She swallowed a lump in her throat, heart racing. She tried to think about what she could do. She didn’t know where she was. She was all alone. She wasn’t used to being in situations where she had to think for herself and watch her own back. She needed some help.

  She lifted her phone and hovered a thumb over Mum’s number. She thought about calling her. She needed her help. She always helped. She’d be here for her, no matter what.

  But instead, she scrolled up and went to her friend Dan’s number. She remembered what he’d said about the signal being dodgy in most rooms of the cottage, but decent enough outside. She just had to hope he was outside.

  Please be outside.

  Please.

  She tapped on his name and prayed to everything for a dialling tone.

  She waited.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  And then…

  “You have reached voicemail. Please leave a message after the tone.”

  “Ugh!”

  Bethany almost threw her phone, but she wasn’t that stupid, not after she’d just full-on destroyed that sat nav Dad had given her. It would be one thing to break the sat nav. It would be another entirely to break her phone, too. Full-blown tech meltdown. She was going to have a lot of explaining to do when her parents got home, that was for sure.

  But she could worry about that later. She had another problem on her hands right now.

  She indicated and took a few deep breaths. All she could do was keep driving down this road, and eventually she’d find a link. She’d find a village that she could call Dan from, or she’d find a hotel that she could stay in. She’d find help, one way or another.

  She turned out onto the road.

  What happened next unfolded in an absolute blur.

  She felt it at first. A smack, right against the front of her car.

  A crack.

  Then her neck went slamming forward.

  She didn’t realise what’d happened. Not right away.

  Not until she saw the black car full of lads, all with their shirts off, right at the front of her car.

  She looked at them, panting, unable to believe what’d just happened.

  She waited for them to get out. To apologise. Because that’s what happened when you’d been in a collision. And they’d caused this accident.

  Right?

  But they didn’t get out.

  First, they just stared, the driver clearly in disbelief about what he’d just done.

  And then he did something even Bethany hadn’t been expecting.

  He reversed, and then he drove off, speeding away down the road.

  Bethany sat there in the driver’s seat, shaking, totally unable to move. She’d had a collision. Someone had crunched into the front of her car. Cracked her window. And then they’d driven off. They’d bolted. They’d done a runner.

  Her neck was stiff. Her chest was tight.

  She couldn’t drive. She couldn’t move. The car should still work. It’d only been a bump.

  But she couldn’t bring herself to drive it.

  She didn’t know what to do in situations like this.

  What she was supposed to do in situations like this.

  She couldn’t even remember the driver’s damned registration.

  She needed help.

  More than anything… she needed to know what to do.

  She picked up her phone. And with her shaky hands, she dialled the only person she knew could help her right now.

  Dad.

  She listened to the dialling tone, tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought about what she could say, how she could break it to them, but nothing seemed to fit right in her mind. She hoped Mum would answer. Mum would be softer on her. More understanding.

  But since nothing was going to plan today…

  Predictably, Dad answered.

  “Hey, darling. You okay?”

  “Dad,” she said. Heart pounding. “I… I’m lost.”

  “Beautiful weather here,” he said, a clear delay in their call. “It’s cracking the flags!”

  “Dad! I’m… I’m in the Lake District and I’m lost. And someone’s just⁠—”

  “We’re just about to go to the… wait, you’re lost? Where are you lost?”

  “I—There’s a delay. Just let me speak⁠—”

  “In the Lake District? What the bloody hell are you doing in the Lake District? Don’t tell me you drove there.”

  “I drove there, Dad. I drove there. Someone’s just hit my car. And my sat nav, it’s⁠—”

  “You’re eighteen years of age, Bethany. Get that car to a service station ASAP. Or get the AA called. And get the hell back home. My sat nav. If you’d followed my bloody sat nav, you wouldn’t be lost.”

  Bethany was stunned by how cold her dad was. He was never like this. Never. “But Dad⁠—”

  “We’re on holiday. And there’s nothing we can do from where we are. You ring the AA. You get that car in for repair. It shouldn’t take them long to find you with that GPS fitted. But for God’s sakes, Bethany. Take some responsibility for once in your life. We left you at home because we trusted you. You’re supposed to be an adult now. Act like one. Grow up.”

  And just like that, the phone line went dead.

  Bethany had never felt more alone.

  She sat there, shaking, heart pounding. Her dad had just outright told her to take responsibility for herself. This was on her now.

  She leaned forward against the steering wheel. She wasn’t good at dealing with things alone. She always needed other people to hold her hand, to direct her, right the way through her life.

  Now she was on her own, she didn’t like how it felt.

  She looked up and down the road. What could she do? Just stay here? She’d have to tell Dan she couldn’t make it. Then she’d have to go home and go back to moping about her breakup. It wasn’t ideal, but what else could she do? What else was there to do? She couldn’t drive the car after having a bump. It wouldn’t be safe. And she didn’t want to, anyway. It felt risky.

  She was about to call the AA when she saw movement up ahead.

  When she squinted, she saw it was Dan.

  He raised a hand and waved at her. And then Bethany saw the rest of her friends emerging. And she found herself laughing at the ridiculousness of it all—how close she’d got, how close she’d been to having to take responsibility for this mess.

  But she was here after all.

  Her friends were here to help her.

  Screw her car. Screw her parents. Screw the AA. She was here to enjoy the rest of this week, and enjoy it she would—as well as she possibly could.

  She looked at the cracked remains of the sat nav and she shuddered at the thought of driving home without it.

  She looked at the crack on her windscreen.

  She took a deep breath, and then she sighed.

  She got out of her car, and she took a deep breath of the crisp country air as Dan and the others approached.

  “Hey, Bethany,” Dan said. “What the hell’s gone down here?”

  She swallowed a lump in her throat, her body still shaking. “I think I’m in deep shit,” she said.

  THREE

  LILY

  THE DAY BEFORE…

  Lily stroked her dog, Beast, and let all the problems of the outside world disappear and float away.

  The afternoon was getting late, and the sun was much lower now. Her window in her upstairs flat was open, letting in a nice, steady, gentle breeze. Outside, she could see the tops of the houses opposite. She didn’t like to stand in front of her window for too long, though. If she did, the people in the houses across the street could see her and judge her, and that wasn’t what she wanted. She always felt seen by those windows. As if they were always there. Looking in through the glass. Waiting. Waiting for the smallest movement, and then…

  Judgement.

  One of the things she feared the most.

  So instead, she sat on the floor and leaned back against the sofa, staring out at the blue sky, listening to the sounds of sprinklers and smelling the delicious scents of barbecues, a part of her wishing she was well enough to be out there in the sweetness of summer enjoying it for herself, too.

  But another bigger voice in Lily’s head reminded her that she wasn’t well enough, so she might as well banish any bold ideas she might have right away.

  She felt the heavy, comforting weight of Beast’s head on her lap. She looked down and saw her Rottweiler staring up at her with his big, beautiful brown eyes. She couldn’t help but smile. He was three years old, and he was the best friend she’d ever had. He didn’t judge her. He just loved her unconditionally. No matter what. Through thick and through thin. He was always happy to spend time with her, even when she was upset. Sometimes especially when she was upset. He seemed particularly attuned to her emotions in a way that no one had ever been, really. He was always there for her when she needed a cuddle. He was her little—well, big—lifesaver, and for that she’d forever be grateful to him. She’d love him dearly. Give him the best possible life she could. The life he deserved.

  She stroked his head. His eyes weren’t focused on her anymore. More the pizza box by her side, which she hadn’t quite cracked into yet.

  Okay. If there was one thing he loved more than her, it was takeaway pizza.

  She got it, truly.

  “You can stare all you want, laddo. You’re not having any.”

  Beast sighed, like he’d heard exactly what Lily had said.

  She picked up a slice of pizza and bit into it, the jalapeños hot on her tongue. Sizzling hot. Damn. She was gonna be in trouble in the morning. Jalapeños always got her bad. The spice was good though, because the burn of it distracted her from her thoughts, from her loneliness, from her entire life predicament.

  She wasn’t exactly an outgoing socialite to begin with. Never had been. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t be lonely. Everyone got lonely. She missed her son, Alex. He was seven years old, and he really was as good as gold. She couldn’t have dreamed of a more loving, more well-adjusted young lad. Sometimes, she worried her anxiety might end up crossing over into him. But not even close. Not yet, anyway. If ever it did… she would feel guilty. So, so damned guilty.

  She had to do everything she could to make sure that never happened.

  But he was away this week on a camping trip with school. And Alex being away from her really made Lily realise just how much she relied on her son to hold on to her sanity. To give her a sense of purpose. A reason to live. She spent most of the day alone while working, but she could always look forward to the hours after three when they spent time together, had a laugh together. Enjoyed each other’s company. Enjoyed doing things together. Watching films. Playing games.

  Or just sitting together, in silence.

  But Alex was growing up. He wanted to go to his friends’ houses instead of staying at home with his mum. And Lily knew she couldn’t blame him or hold that against him. It was normal, and it was good that he was going out and having fun, especially after he’d been bullied for having no dad when he’d first started school…

  Lily took another bite of the hot pizza, this time an even bigger piece. The burn was hotter. It made her lips swell up.

  But it wasn’t enough to stave the thoughts that were already swirling around her mind.

  It was three years, almost to the day, since Sam had died. Since her life flipped upside down. It was so sudden and unexpected. And really, that was the hardest thing about it. She’d had no time to prepare, no time to make changes to her life to start accommodating for the fact that she was going to be without the love of her life—the love of her life she’d met twenty years ago when she was fifteen, married ten years later. No one prepared for the loss of a loved one at such a young age, did they? It’s just not something we’re wired up to prepare for. What a miserable life it would be if we were. Nobody would ever get together, for fear of losing one another. That was one of evolution’s quirks, right? Its ability to convince ourselves that what we had was eternal, when nothing—nothing—ever was.

  It should’ve been so perfect, their life together. For a long time, it was. When Lily first started struggling with her agoraphobia, Sam had made things a lot better for her. He’d listened to what she had to say. He’d encouraged her to seek professional help. But better than anything, he’d been there to hold her hand and to force her to take those difficult steps even when she didn’t want to, even when they seemed impossible. It was even his idea to get a dog to keep her company in the day. He was sweet and sensitive when he needed to be. Understanding. Caring. But he was also good at the “tough love” side of things, too. Which anyone suffering with anxiety on the level she did absolutely needed. Especially when they were raising a child.

  She’d been on a solid road to recovery. Really. She felt like she was getting there. Like she was getting better. Like she was truly recovering.

  Then he’d died, and everything had changed.

  It’d all got worse than it’d ever been before.

  Lily bit down on another slice of pizza and stared at her television set, which wasn’t even switched on right now. Beast’s eyes followed her hand and the pizza at all times. He was absolutely transfixed by it. Hypnotised, to a degree.

  But he didn’t move a muscle or attempt to grab any, the good dog that he was.

  Sometimes Sam used to tell Lily that she’d be better off if she pushed herself to work out of home every day. After all, as a writer, she lived a solitary existence, and that didn’t help with the whole agoraphobia thing. And she’d started doing that, back when he was alive. She’d started going to coffee shops, taking Alex along on his days off school. She’d started going to the park and writing on her laptop, always getting into a conversation about what she did with an interested passer-by. One of the local cafes even let her take Beast. And even though he was a harmless lump, she felt like nothing could put a finger on her when Beast was by her side, protecting her.

  Life had been good. For a time, it seemed like the worst thing that had ever happened to Lily at that point was her agoraphobia, and she’d managed to channel it into a positive.

  But Sam’s death changed everything.

  She had descended into the abyss.

  Fast.

  She cut herself off from everyone around her, one by one. Not intentionally. Just not showing up for lunch dates with her friends. Then not attending family gatherings. And after that, getting rid of Facebook, changing her number—and her locks.

  Before she knew it, she wasn’t even venturing out of the house to do her shopping. Online shopping was more convenient after all, right?

  Online shopping. The biggest enabler of agoraphobia and social anxiety in the modern world.

  But she was already in way too deep to do a thing about it…

  She reached into her pocket, then, putting down the half-eaten slice of pizza, which just seemed to taunt Beast even more. She knew she shouldn’t look at what she was going to look at. But it made her feel better, even if just for a short while. It gave her a hit. A small hit. Just enough to fill her with the hope she needed to get by.

  A hope that would come back and bite her on the arse almost immediately after, though.

  She pulled out the Polaroid photograph she and Sam had taken together on Coney Island beach. It was a big moment for them both. It was the first holiday Lily had been on since defeating her agoraphobia. Well, perhaps “defeating” was a strong word. But she was certainly on her way to dealing with it. It was never a straightforward path. Just a string of small victories interspersed with defeats.

  It was such a joyous moment for the pair of them. And nobody had been happier than Sam that she was feeling back to her best again. Part of Lily knew it was the doctor inside of him, wanting to look after her, wanting to care for her. And she supposed there was something morbid about that.

  But it’d been sweet. She’d appreciated it.

  And he really had cared.

  She looked at that photo and felt a tear roll down her cheek.

  It was the last photo the pair had even taken.

  Sam died suddenly two weeks later.

  In her life one second.

  Her rock one second.

  And then…

  Gone.

  Lily felt the tears roll down her face. She tasted them, salty on her lips. She wanted to believe that Sam was right about her. That she was strong, and that in the face of danger, she could overcome anything if she believed in herself.

  But actions spoke louder than words.

  And actions thus far had proven she wasn’t capable.

  She closed her eyes and leaned back against the sofa as she lost herself in a world of Sam and Alex and how amazing their lives had been.

  “Go on, Beast. Finish it off.”

  Beast panted, hopped up, and scoffed the remaining pizza.

  Not a care in the world.

  And Lily couldn’t feel anything about that. Just relief that she was here, and she was safe, and nothing was going to force her out of her home and into that scary world outside.

  At least she thought.

  FOUR

  BETHANY

  THE DAY BEFORE…

  Since arriving at Dan’s cottage on what she could only describe as the journey from Hell, Bethany just wanted to kick back and relax.

  It’d been a nightmare of epic proportions. Like, a genuine nightmare. Getting lost. Knackering her sat nav. Almost knackering her phone in the process. And then the run in with those lads, crashing her car.

  But that final conversation with her dad was still getting under her skin.

  More than anything else.

  It was getting late. The sun hadn’t quite set yet, but the sky was admittedly looking rather beautiful. She loved a good sunset. Always calmed her down a bit. Bethany leaned back on a bean bag in the conservatory area of the cottage. It was far comfier than it had any right to be. A few feet away from her, Olly and Dan, two friends from college, were playing some game on their PlayStation VR headset. They’d managed to get one cheap in a sale, and it seemed to be providing a lot of amusement. Every now and then, Susan stood up and pinched Olly’s sides, which made him squeal. He must be deep into the virtual world for something like that to get to him. Not a whole lot of shit got to Olly.