He cocked his head to the side, liking her response. “Why, you got a man?”

  She smiled thinking about Donnell’s hands all over her body. “Yeah, I got something goin’ on.”

  “Roxanne Roxanne, I wanna be yo’ man.” He quoted an old song by Full Force/UTFO.

  She chuckled. “What’s yo’ name?”

  “My name is Q.”

  “Well Q, it was nice meeting you but you holding my line up baby, so you either ordering a coffee, food, or moving around.”

  “Damn, it’s like that?” He smiled.

  She nodded her head. “Yep, just like that.”

  Q ordered what he wanted and then gave her a nice tip afterwards. He couldn’t wait to get in the car and call his boy Dee to let him know she passed the test and was a solid one. Q had never been turned down by no girl, especially since he played ball at the university. Females would be at the dorms waiting to give him some play, but Sharonda didn’t even budge. He could tell from that goofy look in her eyes that she was in love.

  Sharonda stood on her feet for hours until it was finally time for her to take a break. Instead of leaving, she slid on the bench of the small wooden table and nibbled on a blueberry muffin while twirling her finger through one of her large, hooped earrings. Two girls walked in to order and headed straight for the counter.

  She could care less about their conversation, but her ears were like radars when she heard one of them mention Donnell’s name. “Girl he’s acting like a real crab, clown ass nigga. He don’t even return my calls or pages. Nigga just cut me completely off without no explanation.”

  “Girl let it go. That man is getting drafted, and he may not want to take no baggage. Plus, I heard he got a girl.” Her homegirl informed.

  The chick nearly snapped her neck looking at her friend. “Who got a girl? That nigga ain’t making nobody his girlfriend.”

  The friend snickered and shook her head. “I don’t know why the fuck you the only one that don’t know that. Ole girl has his nose wide open too.”

  “How wide?”

  “You can see a whole house up that muhfucka.”

  Her eyes got big. “Girllll you is lying. Where she from?”

  “If I’m lying, I’m flying and my ass ain’t gone nowhere yet. She’s from Broward and that’s all I know. I saw her with him at a party once.” As the girls talked, they ordered at the same time and never noticed Sharonda sitting there until they were heading out.

  The girl’s friend looked at her real hard and squinted her eyes. “Damn Rae, she kind of looks like his girlfriend that I was telling you about.”

  “Her?”

  She nodded her head. “Yep.” She said, and then asked Sharonda. “You know a boy named Donnell?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  The girl looked at her nametag. “Yep, you know him. They said yo’ name was Sharonda, plus ya name tag ain’t gon’ lie and you look exactly like the girl I saw him with at that party.”

  Sharonda wasn’t fazed. “I might know ‘em.”

  “Shitttt, you in there, girl. I ain’t even mad at you.” She giggled and walked out but her friend didn’t think it was funny. She didn’t say one word to Sharonda. No female liked being cut off for another girl.

  By the time Sharonda finished her shift, all she wanted to do was go lay down, but Pinky wanted her to stop by the car show in front of the Flea Market. She had every intention to until she reached her car and noticed that it had been keyed from the front to the back on the driver’s side.

  “Now I know damn well!” She hissed, with frustration. She already knew it had to be one of the girls from earlier and she already figured it was the one who got cut off but what Sharonda wanted to know was why bitches always wanted to get mad at her for this nigga’s decisions. The longer she stayed with Donnell, she knew this was the kind of shit she may have to encounter because it was a lot of girls that wanted to be in her position that’s why most of the time, she didn’t even brag on the nigga.

  She immediately called him to see if she could get him on the phone and he answered. No matter what he was doing, he usually always did. “What’s up baby? I know I ain’t called all day, but my agent and manager had me busy. I’m in the middle of a photo shoot. How’s yo’ day?”

  “My day was going good until some trick ass heffa found out that I’m dealing with you and decided to key my car. If I ever catch her, I’m fucking her up!”

  Donnell raised a brow. “Nah, I get you mad but let’s start over. Somebody you dealin’ with or somebody you wit’? Cause after last night, ain’t no more dealings. You my one and only and that’s what it is.”

  As mad as she was, she had to blush through the anger. “Somebody I’m with, that’s what I meant to say.”

  “Aiight, that’s what I wanna hear. Now go ahead, finish telling me.”

  Sharonda ran everything down that led up to this point and Donnell didn’t seem too fazed by it because he made up his mind and was right where he wanted to be. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s a lot of mad muhfuckas right now. Those bitches thought I was taking them to the next level. They missed out on the golden ticket and blame you. Crazy thing is they don’t even love a nigga for real… but you… yeah, you love me for me and that’s why I love you. It’s all good baby. In a minute, I’ma buy you all the cars you want, then what they gon’ say?”

  She felt better after talking to him. She was still pissed and very aware that the main goal for most females was to run her away. “Well, I never been no weak ass bitch and I’m not goin’ nowhere.”

  “So, you ain’t leavin’ a nigga?”

  “Nope, never. I’ma be yo wife and have all yo’ babies.”

  “As long as you know baby.”

  “I love you, Donnell.”

  “Aye, from the court to the heart, a nigga love you too. I’ma call you when I’m done.”

  By the time she hung up, she was still pissed but not nearly as much as before she called him. He had a way of soothing her and making everything better. She had to keep making a mental note to herself. She knew what she was getting into before she gave him the goods and even put herself out there with him. At least he wasn’t a cheater like Tyrone; at least not yet, and she prayed it never came to that although balling came with a lot of thirsty tricks.

  Instead of meeting up with Pinky and the crew, she took her ass home because sleep was calling her name. She called Pinky and let her know that she wasn’t coming and as soon as they hung up, she got a page from a number she didn’t know. As soon as she pulled into her front yard, she put the car in park and called the number.

  “Who is this?” She questioned.

  “What’s up Sharonda, this Stacks.”

  Stacks, she thought to herself. Why would Stacks want to talk to me? She cleared her throat. “Oh, what’s up Stacks? I thought you were one of this nigga’s crazy ass hoes paging me.”

  Stacks laughed already knowing she was probably catching hell. “You know what come with that shit. But look though, yo’ girl almost on her way out the door for real. I’m trying to be patient with that muhfucka, but I promise I’m about to put her ass out. She think I don’t know she be out there trickin’ and pussy poppin’ playin’ in my face like I’m crazy. I know everything, on down to Larry’s hairy ass and she lucky I ain’t touched the nigga yet.”

  Sharonda knew this day was coming. She knew Stacks wasn’t crazy and she’d been telling Pinky over and over to slow her ass down especially because Stacks was the one holding shit down. “Now wait a minute Stacks, you be out there doin’ yo’ thing too.”

  “I’m not sayin’ it’s right, but I’ma nigga and a female can’t move like one. She can’t sit her ass down long enough and she wonder why I be doin’ my thing.”

  ‘Well, if it’s all that, why you still with her Stacks?”

  “Because I love that trick ass bitch. I love the ground her raggedy ass walks on. That’s the truth.”

  Sharonda burst into laughter. “My friend ain’t raggedy!”

  He chuckled. “Muhfucka raggedier than a Po’ Porsche.”

  “Stacks!”

  “I’m just playin’ but nah on the real, talk to ya girl. I’m givin’ her a week to figure her shit out or she gotta get up outta here and I can go be with a bitch who loves me for real cause it’s plenty out there.”

  Despite what he was saying right now, Sharonda knew that Stacks did love Pinky, and she loved him too. They were both caught up in the era of this 90’s love shit where everyone had to choose between love, or the lifestyle. If they were lucky, they could balance both.

  “Don’t do nothing drastic. I’ma talk to her. I got you.”

  “Aiight, bet. Appreciate that.”

  “You welcome.”

  She hung up and finally made it in the house. She was too tired to call Pinky about Stacks tonight and as far as Donnell, hopefully she would hear the phone when he decided to call but if not, just like a lot of other nights, he would be right at her window throwing stones even if it were just to see her for five minutes. She loved everything about the way they tried to keep it exciting and hoped it lasted forever.

  Chapter Eleven

  How It’s Going Down- DMX

  “Now why did it take two whole weeks for me to see you? Point is, you gotta get your shit together girl. Stacks ain’t playing with your ass. I had to beg him to extend putting you out at least another week to give me a chance to talk to you because you’ve been in the damn streets.” Sharonda fussed while looking herself over in the mirror at JC Penny. She was trying on graduation dresses and felt like she’d just found the perfect one because of the way it hugged her frame.

  Pinky sat on the chair sucking on a lollipop while flipping through the Ebony magazine. “He’s not even talking to me right now. I don’t know what to say. Shit, I’m addicted to the fast life baby. I’m in my prime and we only got one life to live.”

  Sharonda spun around and propped her hands on her hips. “So, you ready to throw it all away or get a job? Because Stacks takes care of you. You ain’t gon’ be happy until he’s with somebody else.”

  “l will hurt that nigga.” She admitted.

  Sharonda frowned. “I don’t get it. What’s so hard about love?”

  “We too young for that shit. Too young to be getting our hearts broken and all the bullshit that comes with it.” Pinky sighed. “Love is hard, we’re about to be twenty-three years old. Are we really supposed to be tied down?”

  Sharonda knew better and she knew it was more to it than what she was saying. “Nah, it’s not only that. What’s the real reason you’re so afraid to act right?”

  Pinky was never the emotional one, but Sharonda could see the pain in her eyes. “You wanna know something I never told you? My mama ain’t lose her mind behind drugs. She lost her mind before that. She used the drugs to cope with it. She lost her mind from heartbreak because my daddy took her through hell and back. She spent half her life fighting for his love and when he broke her heart, she simply couldn’t cope. I lost my mama behind that shit because she’s never been the same and I don’t wanna be that person.” Pinky wiped a tear that threatened to fall.

  Sharonda kneeled down in front of her friend feeling her pain. The only loss she ever felt from losing a parent was from her father getting killed when she was just two years old and too young to understand but it was a different story when you lost a parent that was technically still here. She placed both of her hands on Pinky’s cheeks, forcing her friend to look in her eyes.

  “I know it’s painful Pinky, I know baby. You got to overcome the fear of loving somebody and allowing them to love you because when the ship has sailed, it doesn’t come back. Trust me, look at Tyrone’s dumb ass over there stuck with Tricia now. I loved him but when the time was up, it was up and there was nothing he could do to get it back. Don’t let that be you and Stacks. That man has had your back since we were in eleventh grade and never turned his back on you. For him to reach out to me, he’s trying to hold it together. He don’t want to let you go and I’m sure he’s tired of fighting with you. Ya’ll be over there arguing twenty-four seven and it’s fucked up to say but most of the time it’s because of yo’ bullshit.” She told her, being truthful.

  Pinky took it all in, because one thing about her friend, she always kept it real and maybe Sharonda did see something that she herself just refused to see. Pinky loved partying to distract her from everything she didn’t want to think about. “Truth is, I love Stacks stank ass.”

  Sharonda smirked. They were meant for each other. Stacks spoke the same way about her. That was just their love language. “He loves you too, even though he called you all kinds of raggedy, trick ass bitches.”

  “His bald-headed ass mama is raggedy.” Pinky cackled. “But no for real, I get what you’re saying, and I give you my word I’m gon’ do better. I’m really not trying to lose my man.”

  “Yeah, you can’t let the way somebody else’s life turned out to impact yours. You are not your mama Pinky and you gotta know that. Stop thinking what happened to her is going to happen to you and love on the man that’s pouring into you.”

  She simply nodded her head trying to figure out how she could make up with Stacks. She knew whatever it was had to be good because right now he wasn’t fucking with her at all. Although he came home every night, he slept on the couch, and she was getting tired of it.

  “I got it. I’ma figure something out and make the shit work.”

  Sharonda finally got off of her knees and straightened the wrinkles in her dress. “Oh, he knows about Larry.”

  A sheepish grin spread across Pinky’s face. “I’ma cut his hairy ass off too. I just need to work on Stacks first… one nigga at a time.”

  Sharonda was always guaranteed a good laugh from her. “I hope it works out.”

  “I’m telling you right now, if I cut all of my niggas off and this shit doesn’t work, Stacks owes me some new niggas and so do you.”

  “Pinky!”

  She shrugged. “I’m just saying.”

  “Girl yo ass is crazy.”

  “Un hmm, anyway, you getting this dress or what? This one is the bomb, and you look so pretty in it.”

  “Yeah, I think this is the one. Let me take it off so I can go pay for it.”

  When they left the mall, Pinky noticed the key marks on Sharonda’s car and shook her head. “Let me guess…”

  Sharonda held her hand up. “Un-Un I don’t even want to talk about it or else I’ma be mad all over again. Just know my man said in a minute he’s about to buy me all the cars I want.”

  “You lucky.” Pinky said through a smile. “If that shit really works with ya’ll, you about to be one spoiled bitch.”

  “And guess what? I still want my own money. I didn’t bust my ass in school all these years for nothing. I can’t wait to officially become a nurse.”

  When they finally left the mall, they talked about everything including how much Sharonda and Donnell had been getting their freak on. It seemed like they just couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. They were obsessed, and Sharonda never felt the same way about anyone how she felt about him, and that’s probably because she never gave herself to anyone in the ways she did for him.

  They rode around all day running errands and after a few hours, Sharonda realized she still hadn’t heard from Donnell. He didn’t answer his pager nor did he pick up her calls and deep down inside she was becoming extremely agitated. Even at the nail shop she couldn’t focus on the latest gossip. Pinky peeped how quiet she was.

  “Well, what’s wrong with you? Yo’ panties been up yo’ ass since we got here.”

  “Donnell’s ass ain’t returning my calls. Come to think of it, I ain’t heard from him all damn day.” She snapped with an attitude feeling the burning in her chest wondering if he’d gotten the goods and now, he was playing her.

  “So, you think he with a female?”

  “I’m not sure.” She mumbled. “All I know is he got me fucked up. He’s introduced me to damn near everyone in his family and now he wants to play in my face.”

  “Look, don’t even worry about it. You look cute, I look cute. We can just go hang out tonight because at the end of the day you’re getting ready to graduate this weekend and ain’t no way I’m about to let you be in the house in a fucked-up mood. You deserve to be celebrated.”

  Pinky knew damn well Donnell wasn’t out fucking with no girls. As a matter of fact, they were getting ready to see him in a little bit for the surprise graduation party they all put together for her. Donnell fronted most of the bill and he was already at the hall making sure everything was on point. However, Pinky couldn’t tell her that.

  “Yeah, you right. I’ve come too far to be going out sad about a nigga. It’s probably nothing anyway. That agent of his is demanding as fuck.”

  “Aye, it’s for the future baby, remember that. Just don’t forget about me when he makes it big. I want some from row seats to the home games and shit.”

  “Yeah, I hear you.” Sharonda smirked.

  Three hours later they arrived at the back of the hall and Sharonda was confused about why they had to come through the back in the first place. This was Big Dewey’s spot, and he always rented it out to the ballers and shot callers when they were having events but tonight was a regular night where most of the time people just came to get drinks and listen to some good music. She hadn’t heard about shit special going on tonight. The streets would’ve been buzzing about it and their crew never missed a drop on a good party because most of the time they were there.

  “Now why we going through the back like some crooks?”

  “Shit, I don’t know!” Pinky exclaimed. “I called Big Dewey first and he told me to come through the back so he can give us a free bottle.”

  “Makes sense.” Sharonda replied following behind her. Pinky knocked three times, and the door opened with one of the girls from the kitchen crew letting them inside. They had to walk through the kitchen and then exited out into the corridor that led to Big Dewey’s office. He sat in the desk chair and got off the phone when he saw them walk inside.