Tess could’ve said those same exact words. She knew the truth behind them all too well. “Yes. You have to discover a new part of you. A part you didn’t know was there.” And that kind of self-discovery was still an ongoing process for her.

  “That’s where I’m at now.” The man finished the cookie and dusted the crumbs off his hands. “I suppose I’ll get through the tough part eventually.”

  “I’m not sure you’re ever fully through it.” Tess winced at her boldness in making that statement. “Sorry. That doesn’t sound very hopeful.”

  He grinned and waved off the apology. “At least you’re honest. I appreciate the honesty. I appreciate being able to talk about how hard it is without having to pretend I’m sailing right through.”

  “There’s no sailing, that’s for sure.” She found a smile. “It’s more like just trying to keep your head above water most days.”

  “And going under sometimes,” he added. “But you also start to find yourself. The old you, I mean. The one you were before you became part of an us.”

  Tess let his words sit. “I agree. Jace was selfless and giving. And I let him take on too much, I think.” Not because he took over but because she got comfortable and sat back. “I never would have started this wild horse fight while we were married.” She laughed a little. “But he would have. And I probably would’ve made him do most of the work.”

  When he’d been home, she knew Jace felt this pressure to get things off her plate—to give her a break since she dealt with so much in his absence. So he’d handled almost everything. But this cause with the horses… this was hers alone. And just the thought of that energized her. “I think part of finding a new normal is taking on new challenges.”

  “I get it.” Brad’s expressive eyes widened into a look of mock horror. “I’ve recently learned the skill of braiding hair. Thank God for YouTube.”

  Tess’s heart warmed for him. She let herself stare at his face a few extra seconds but still felt nothing deeper than a certain camaraderie with him.

  “I never did those things when Hannah was around,” he went on. “I never took an interest in Callie’s hair. Or her clothes. And now I’m learning. Not only to braid but how to help her see herself as the beautiful person she is.”

  And Tess knew firsthand that could be quite a challenge these days, with all of the pressures of social media. “Raising girls isn’t easy,” she lamented. “Especially on your own.”

  “No, it’s not,” he agreed emphatically. “But it’s good to have friends to talk you through it. Speaking of… would you want to go to dinner next weekend?”

  The question sat her up a little straighter. “Oh. Um… probably not.” Shoot! That sounded so rude. “I mean, I’m not looking for anything in the relationship department quite yet.” Good lord. She should stop talking now. Maybe he wasn’t even asking her out on a date! That Night had made her hypersensitive. Sheesh. Clearly, she wasn’t ready for dating.

  “I’m not looking for a relationship either.” Her sudden panic seemed to amuse the man. “But that’s the beauty of friendship. We go out and enjoy dinner. No pressure. No awkwardness. Just an easygoing evening spent with another grown-up who can relate to braiding hair and managing meltdowns.”

  Huh. That seemed simple enough. “I probably do need to get out more.” If her mother’s opinion was any indication.

  “Great.” He poured himself more lemonade. “We can reacquaint ourselves with what it’s like to go out. As friends. No expectations. No wondering where the boundaries are. Just good food and good conversation. You’re pretty easy to talk to.”

  “So are you.” She relaxed back into her chair. “That does sound kind of nice.” She went out with Lyric and Kyra all the time, but neither one of them had a tween girl to deal with at home. They couldn’t exactly commiserate with her or celebrate the small successes.

  “Besides, I’d like to learn more about the wild horses and stay involved.” The man made it difficult to turn him down. “I have to admit, I don’t know much about the herds. But I’m happy to help your cause.”

  “Yes. Let’s do it.” She needed all of the support she could get in this quest. “We can meet for dinner at the café next weekend.” Getting together with him would be a nice departure from her usual routine.

  And besides that, maybe a night out would help her finally get her mind off Silas.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Tess? Hello?” Lyric came into view, standing above her. “I said you can move into your bridge pose now.”

  “Sorry.” Tess quickly lifted her hips away from the floor, tensing her hamstrings to hold herself in the pose. “I can’t focus today.” Lyric did a yoga session with her and Kyra every Wednesday morning after Tess dropped off the girls at school, and usually it was a time to concentrate on her mind-body connection, but ever since the meeting at the café, she’d been off-center.

  “What’s up?” Lyric killed the music on her phone and lay down on her mat between Tess and Kyra, finding her own bridge position.

  “You have seemed a little distracted this week,” Kyra commented, wincing. “Can we go back to happy baby pose now? My butt is killing me.”

  “Sure.” Lyric turned her head back to Tess. “So spill it. What’s going on?”

  She couldn’t tell them how much she’d been agonizing over the possibility that Silas might leave Star Valley. Or how she’d been hoping to see him the last few days, but he’d made himself scarce. So instead she said, “The other night at the meeting, Aiden made it sound like Silas is planning to leave Star Valley and I’m worried the girls are going to be upset.” There. That didn’t sound overly invested. She glanced sideways at her friends and Kyra immediately looked at the opposite wall.

  Aha! She knew something. Aiden must’ve told her about Silas’s plans. “What is it? What’s going on?”

  “Um. Well…” Kyra rocked slightly side to side in her happy baby pose. “I think you should probably talk to Silas about it. I mean, it’s not my place to be sharing his news all over town.”

  “So he has news.” Tess let her feet come back to the floor. “Of course he has news.” She pushed into a seated position. Normally, she loved Lyric’s small studio in the holistic clinic she and Kyra ran. It used to be the large master bedroom in the old Victorian house they’d converted. With light bamboo floors and the walls painted robin’s-egg blue and the row of leaded glass windows along the opposite wall, it was a bright and airy space. But now she felt too smothered and confined.

  “It seems I’m the last to know that Silas has been making plans. Isn’t that nice? You’d think someone who’d been spending a ton of time with my children would give me a heads-up that he planned to take off, but no.” She’d slept with him only a month ago. It wasn’t like he’d mentioned anything about skipping town that night.

  “Whoa.” Lyric sat up too. “You’re not the last to know. I didn’t know either. Sheesh. What’s got you all fired up?”

  “Nothing.” She was careful to lighten her tone so they wouldn’t suspect there was something more behind her anger. “It’s just… the girls have gotten used to him being here and now he’s going God knows where. I don’t want them to experience more loss.”

  Kyra was the only one who remained in the happy baby pose, relaxing away. “If the prospect of him leaving is bothering you this much, why haven’t you asked him about it?”

  “I haven’t seen him since the meeting. I think he’s avoiding me.” She’d found evidence that he’d been to visit Legacy. Yesterday the water tank was mysteriously full, and the day before that the hay supply had been replenished. But she hadn’t actually seen Silas. And she hadn’t wanted to try too hard to track him down or her feelings about his departure would be way too obvious.

  “Why would he be avoiding you?” Now Kyra sat up too. “What on earth is going on with you two? Both of you have been acting very weird lately.”

  “I agree.” Lyric pulled her legs into a perfect butterfly pose. “You two sure seemed intense when you rushed off to have that private discussion before the meeting at the café. You hadn’t even finished your margarita yet.”

  Kyra’s mouth popped open. “That’s right! And I’ll tell you another thing… when Brad Kline stopped by our table at the café the other morning and mentioned he was on his way to Tess’s house, Silas got all agitated.”

  Hold on just one second. Tess scooted closer to Kyra. “When were you at the café with Silas?” How was it that he could manage to find time to spend with everyone else but then hide from her?

  “It was no big deal,” Kyra said. “I just wanted to get Aiden and Silas together to talk about their issues. And it worked. They’re besties again and Aiden finally asked those two to be in our wedding.”

  “Just now?” Lyric stretched her long legs out in front of her. The woman could never sit still. Tess had always envied her flexibility. “You asked us like two months ago.”

  “What did Silas say?” Tess’s heart had started to hum. “What do you mean he acted agitated?”

  “I don’t know.” Kyra’s eyes narrowed as she studied Tess’s face. “His cheeks got a little red—kind of like yours are now. And he asked a lot of questions.”

  “Interesting.” Now Lyric studied Tess too.

  In fact, both of her friends stared at her as though trying to read her innermost thoughts.

  “What are you looking at me like that for?” she squawked. “I don’t know why Silas would’ve gotten all upset about Brad coming over to see me.” He couldn’t be jealous. Because in order to be jealous he would have to have real feelings for her. And he didn’t. Did he?

  “How was the visit with Brad anyway?” Lyric asked in a singsong tone.

  “It was good.” That was the best way to describe their time together. Good. Nice. Amiable. And a whole host of other mild adjectives. “He’s a really nice guy.”

  “A nice guy you’d like to spend more time with?” Kyra asked.

  “How do you feel about starting to date again?” Lyric added.

  That was the best thing about her friends. They didn’t have any preconceived notions about how she should be living or when she should be dating. They didn’t judge or project. They asked questions that helped her explore her own feelings.

  Tess lay back down on her mat and stared up at the swirled clouds painted on the ceiling. “I think I could be ready to date.” For so long she’d been hollow and numb, but now she’d started to feel things again. Deep things. Powerful things. The problem was, she felt them for the wrong man.

  “So you are attracted to Brad?” Lyric lay down next to her. “He’s so handsome. And he does appear to be a good person.”

  “He seems like a good option if you’re ready,” Kyra added, crawling past her to lie on her other side.

  “I’m not attracted to Brad. At all,” she admitted. “But he asked me to go out for dinner. As friends. Kind of a parent hangout night so we can talk about the girls.”

  “Sounds pretty boring if you ask me,” Lyric muttered, pulling her leg into a hamstring stretch.

  “I think it will be refreshing.” At least she wouldn’t have to worry about what he was thinking or feeling or not thinking or not feeling, the way she constantly did with a certain cowboy. “Dating again feels like a big step.” More like a big, terrifying leap. “But dinner with a friend is the perfect way for me to get back out there with no pressure.” Spending time with Brad felt easy because she wasn’t interested in anything more than a friendship with him. “Not every encounter with a man has to be passionate and high velocity and fiery and intense.” Memories of the night with Silas stirred up her pulse.

  “No, but some encounters are definitely that way.” Kyra’s stare turned thoughtful. “Your face got pretty red earlier when we were talking about Silas. And you seemed flustered.”

  “That’s true,” Lyric mused.

  “No, it’s not,” Tess said quickly. “My face didn’t get red.” Her cheeks turned molten right then. Geez, why didn’t Lyric have the air conditioner on in this place? It was an exercise studio for crying out loud.

  “Oh, you definitely blushed all right.” Kyra shared a perceptive look with Lyric. “I’d say your face got fiery even. Kind of like it is right now.”

  “Mmm. Good description.” Lyric elbowed her in the ribs. “Tess… are you holding out on us? Is there something going on between you and Silas?”

  These two! They were like high school girls with all their snickering and wide eyes and questions. They were never going to let this go. “It was one night,” she blurted. “Only one night.”

  “I knew it!” Kyra sat up and raised her arms in victory. “That’s why he acted so weird with the Brad Kline thing. Because he totally has the hots for you.”

  “No.” Tess hugged her knees into her chest. “He doesn’t have feelings for me. We don’t have feelings for each other. Not real feelings.” That she would admit to anyway. “It was only sex.”

  “Only sex has led to many life-changing relationships,” Kyra said knowingly.

  “It’s not like that for us. It can’t be.” She had the girls to think about. How confusing all of this would be for them. And complicated for her. All everyone in town would think about was how she was dating her husband’s best friend.

  “When did it happen?” Lyric had abandoned her yoga routine and gave Tess her full attention. “Where?”

  Tess didn’t want to talk about this. She didn’t want to remember every tantalizing detail. But it was too late to go back now. “During your engagement party. At the hotel.”

  “Of course!” Kyra popped up and went to the refrigerator in the corner of the room. “I should’ve known. Aiden mentioned something about a mystery woman who hooked up with Silas. But the answer is so obvious. You both disappeared that night.” She brought back three water bottles and reclaimed her spot in their circle.

  “You told me you’d met up with an old friend and spent most of the party catching up in a quiet corner of the lobby!” Lyric shook her head with a laugh. “I can’t believe I fell for that. Your hair was a mess when you came back to the room.”

  “I’m sorry.” She sipped water to squelch the fire in her throat. “Jace’s cousin DeAnn said some things that got to me.”

  “I should’ve been there.” Remorse clouded Lyric’s expression.

  “It’s not your fault.” Tess sighed. “She caught me off guard, that’s all.” Because Tess had been having so much fun with Silas. “I walked out to that patio where the firepit was. And then Silas came looking for me.” Her whole body shivered thinking about how he’d wrapped her up in his arms, how he’d stroked her hair. “I still don’t know what happened. I was lonely, I guess.”

  “You’re sure you only spent the night with him because you were lonely?” Lyric asked quietly. She liked the hard questions.

  And right now, Tess had no answers. She only knew the thought of him leaving made her ache with emptiness again. “Maybe it wasn’t only the loneliness. Maybe there is something more there. For me, at least. But he was Jace’s best friend.”

  “Whew.” Kyra blew out a weighted breath. “I know this feels complicated, Tess. It is complicated. But you don’t have to carry any guilt about feeling something for him. He’s a single man. You’re a single woman. And you two have gotten close. You share a bond with him. It’s natural that you would develop feelings for someone under those circumstances.”

  “Exactly.” Lyric leaned closer. “Did that night with Silas happen to be passionate and high velocity and fiery and intense by any chance?”

  The blush flashing across her face was likely all the answer they needed. “You can’t say a word about this to my brother,” she told Kyra.

  “I would never,” her friend assured her. “You know that. You can tell me anything and I won’t tell another soul.” Kyra seemed to hesitate but then continued. “I will say though… that morning in the café… it was pretty clear to me that Silas does have some feelings for you too. He tried to hide them, but he didn’t do a great job.”

  For a split second, Tess’s heart hung suspended in hopefulness. But logic is what was needed here. “Pursuing a relationship with Silas would be too complicated. Especially for the girls.” And for her. “We have too much history. All of us together.” And she couldn’t trust her heart. Maybe she was simply trying to maintain a connection with Jace through Silas. Rather than examining that possibility, she jumped up and rolled her mat. “I should get going. I’ve got a ton of work to do at the ranch today.”

  Kyra stood too. “And I’ve got patients coming soon.”

  Lyric handed both of them their waters. “Don’t forget to hydrate.” She focused on Tess. “And we’re always here if you want to talk about anything.”

  “Thanks.” Unfortunately, talking wouldn’t change any of her circumstances.

  She said goodbye to her friends and walked out into the bright spring sunshine with Kyra’s words lingering at the edges of her thoughts. Silas does have feelings. There’d been times in the last month when she’d wondered if he experienced the same stirring of hope and fascination she felt when she saw him—a kind of lifting in her heart. But she hadn’t been around him enough to tell much. He’d helped her with the horse situation, but other than that, he stayed away.

  Tess climbed into her truck and pulled away from the curb, rolling down the windows so she could breathe in the scent of the blooming lilacs in various yards throughout town. If Silas did have feelings for her—if she acknowledged her feelings for him—too much would change. Everything would change. And she and the girls had only just found their solid footing. They’d already created their new normal and she couldn’t upset their rhythm now.

  She turned into her driveway and headed for the garage but hit the brakes when she saw Silas’s truck parked past the house near Legacy’s corral. Right on cue, her heart dropped, prompting a distinct change in her pulse. Instead of turning into the garage, she cut the engine and got out to make the long trek to the corral, already knowing she would find him there.