Nineteen had been a good age. As she’d been dragged along by the irresistible pull of her magic she’d stopped fearing it. She lost the will to keep herself inside her body. Nineteen had been a good age. She’d drifted away, into that dark place where only her magic could take her; locked to everyone else but the shadow mages. It had been the end. Slowly, Emerré had started disappearing, drifting apart. For brief moments she was other people, but they were of no interest to her. And then she found Cadel. For a brief moment they knew each other perfectly. And she’d woken up.

  Her family had been cautiously pleased. It was hard to be related to a shadow mage. If it wasn’t this time it would be the next or the next. For years they’d been steeling themselves for her inevitable departure. Perhaps it would be easier on them if she would just hurry up and go. And she had, but not in the way they’d expected. The same day she woke up she left to find him. She knew which direction to go. But he had been far. And every night when she fell asleep she’d lost hold of her body again and found him. She became desperately afraid she wouldn’t be able to hold on until she met him. But fear was good, fear and a desire to live was enough to keep her coming back to her body each night.

  It was difficult to travel. Her body was stiff and wouldn’t respond easily to her commands. She didn’t quite remember everything about herself. But she knew which direction to go. And after weeks of travelling, she found him, or, they found each other; he’d been travelling too. It was a strange experience, knowing each other perfectly and at the same time not at all. Living with Cadel, constrained to a human body, was an entirely different experience to exploring his soul. It was an experience she’d come to love.

  Emerré opened her eyes and sighed. After that everything was, as they say, history. He had forbidden her to use her magic, even to ‘visit’ him. And she’d been able to keep that promise for five years.

  ‘Lucine,’ she called weakly. ‘Lucine!’

  There came the pattering of feet on wood. ‘Here, my lady, here!’

  ‘Please call Dr. Delane, and get Belix for me. Tell him the baby is coming.’

  Dr. Delane watched as Emerré, who was sitting in her bed, her blankets tucked around her, talked calmly to Belix about the arrangements for her child. Lord Alain was still out coordinating the search for Cadel. He fully expected his patient to die before the day was out.

  His two assistants waited patiently nearby. Every so often pain or surprise would flash across Emerré’s face, her voice would falter for a moment. Then she would continue like nothing had happened.

  ‘Emerré-’

  ‘Belix,’ she said calmly, ‘I will lose my hold on my body as soon as he is born. Don’t argue. I know myself better than you. Do you remember everything I’ve told you?’

  ‘Yes, yes, I’ve been writing it down, see?’ and he flashed a sheaf of paper at her covered in his untidy scrawl. She’d given Belix detailed instructions on everything from the tutors she wanted to how long each year he would stay with her parents and how much allowance he would get.

  ‘He’s unlikely to be a shadow mage, but he should have some magic, which will make things difficult for my brother. I have selected some governesses who should be suitable. I have already written all this down for my brother, but in case he forgets, I would like you to remember also.’

  ‘Emerré, of course I’ll do whatever I can, but this isn’t-’

  She silenced him with a cold look.

  Dr. Delane wondered if she would scream once the baby really started coming. Lady Emerré was always so cold and stiff, so formal and polite, so distant. It was difficult to imagine her making a noise as unladylike as a scream. So different, he thought, from her charming and friendly husband.

  Dr. Delane came out of his daydream to notice Emerré looking at him with her cool, calm eyes. He swallowed nervously, suddenly wondering if she’d known what he was thinking. Emerré held his gaze until he glanced down, his palms sweating. He only looked up again when she resumed speaking to Belix.

  ‘And his name-’

  ‘Emerré-’

  ‘Belix, it is quite tiring repeating myself. His name, Belix, will be Jonathan Albier-Vayles.’

  ‘Ah-’

  ‘After Cadel’s father.’

  ‘And your name.’

  ‘Yes.’ Emerré replied, ‘Cadel did not want him to be Vayles-Albier, and as I chose his first name it seemed fair to allow it. Cadel was making noise lately about changing his to Albier-Vayles so we were all the same...’ her voice drifted off as she was gripped by grief.

  ‘Very unusual,’ Dr. Delane murmured.

  Emerré fixed him with a quiet glare that was quickly taken over by a look of surprise.

  ‘Emerré?’ Belix asked in concern.

  ‘Nothing to worry about, Belix, Jonathan is just making his presence known.’ her eyebrows shot up again, ‘perhaps you would like to leave?’

  ‘Oh-oh, yes,’ he said, suddenly pale. ‘Dr. Delane?’

  ‘Out you go.’ the Doctor said in a business-like tone.

  ‘Do you need-?’

  ‘My assistants are all I need, out you go!’ he said and waved him through the door, closing it behind him.

  A squall split the air.

  ‘He’s healthy!’ Dr. Delane cried in pleasure, ‘perfectly healthy, Lady Emerré!’

  He looked up at Emerré’s sweaty face. Her eyes were on the baby. Her eyes shone, a relieved and proud smile curved her lips. And then she collapsed backwards in a faint.

  ‘Lady Emerré!’ He said in alarm. ‘Here!’ He handed the baby to one of the assistants and hurried to Emerré’s side.

  Belix entered with a crash and a yell. ‘What is it, is she-’

  ‘She is alive,’ Dr. Delane said as he turned around to face Belix, his face pale and drawn. ‘She is alive. But she is not here.’

  CHAPTER 115

  29 Odref, 1353

  ‘No!’ he cried, ‘no, no, NO!’

  Light flared, nearly blinding him. He kept screaming.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ a woman said.

  ‘We knew she would come. There was no question.’ came a man’s voice.

  The light faded until it was no longer blinding. For once, the dungeon was brightly lit. Across from Cadel’s cell was a large open area filled with people. Rochelle, a man he didn’t recognize, and those damn candles, in robes of red, orange and white. Further out, surrounding the candles were other people. Wizards? Sorcerers? He didn’t know, he wasn’t paying them much attention. His eyes were focused on the candles. They stood in a circle, hands outstretched. Within the circle was a pulsing sphere of light. It had sprung up suddenly, filling the room with brilliant light.

  The candles had been there a few days, he knew. Sometimes he didn’t remember, he was so hungry and weak, but they had been gathered and waiting here for a while now.

  This entire place is a trap, lure her here to me, trap her with the candles. There’s no way...

  ‘We can let him go now, can’t we?’ Rochelle was asking the man.

  ‘Let him go? Of course not.’ he said, light shining off his bald head.

  ‘But the candles, she can’t escape them, so it doesn’t matter if he’s here or not.’

  ‘Of course she can’t escape-’

  ‘Then why?’ she demanded, panic entering her voice. ‘We only needed him to catch her, and now we have her!’

  ‘Why, you’ve made a very good point, Rochelle.’ he said indulgently. ‘He can go, and you with him perhaps?’

  ‘Thank you, thank you.’

  The man turned back to the candles. ‘Have you got her?’ he said in a business-like tone.

  Cadel yelled, ‘you idiot! You fool!’

  ‘We have her.’ One of the candles answered. His face was hidden by the light of the sphere.

  ‘Are you quite sure? If she escapes...’

  ‘You have your amulet,’ another candle answered, ‘if she escapes, she can’t hurt you.’

  ‘Cadel, did you hear?’ Rochelle said, ‘we can go!’

  The man suddenly spun around. ‘I’m afraid, dear Rochelle, Cadel is right.’

  ‘Wha-?’

  Her words turned into a strangled scream as the man plunged a knife up and into her heart. Her scream petered out and she slumped. The man stepped back and Rochelle collapsed in a lifeless heap on the ground.

  Cadel’s cold and blazing eyes bored into the man.

  The man laughed at him. ‘Oh, I won’t kill you, at least not yet.’ His laugh faded and a look of concern or anger crossed his face. ‘I’m to get her cooperation if possible-’

  ‘She won’t survive!’

  ‘Of course not! Her body at least...’ he trailed off. ‘No matter. I’ll keep you for a little longer. I’ve seen what these shadow mages can do. I won’t get rid of my insurance just yet.’

  ‘She’ll die.’ Cadel pleaded. ‘If you keep her there without her body she’ll die. Please. Please. I’ll... I’ll do anything you want. Please.’

  The man didn’t answer him. With his back to the sphere, his face was in shadow. ‘She’ll die. Soon. Shadow magic has remained a mystery for so long... but for no longer. Do you appreciate what we’ve done? What I’ve done?’ he said, ignoring the sobbing coming from the man before him. ‘Shadow magic played a deciding role in the war. You probably don’t know about the truce, though that won’t last long now. We don’t have many shadow mages left, but I only need one. Emerré Albier, the oldest living shadow mage... what will our mages learn by studying her? She’ll give us something. Whether she cooperates or not, I’ll get what I want from her.’

  Pain. It flashed all around her, bright light (light that didn’t belong in this dark place) and searing pain (how could she feel anything without a body?). She withdrew into herself, pain and light ripping at the edges of her consciousness. It had been so long, so long since she’d done this. So sweet to feel it again. But Cadel. Cadel, Cadel, Cadel. She couldn’t forget him. She might forget everything else, but not him. She waited, hiding, trying to escape the light. It was everywhere. How could that be? She came back to herself, her mind started working again in a way that it didn’t like to when out of her body. What could cause this? Nothing could touch her here, nothing...

  Candles!

  Anger roared through her. Candles! The only people in all the world with a defence against shadow magic! And that was all they were, so useless unless a shadow mage was around... It was a trap. She realized. They stole Cadel and now they’ve trapped me. Her anger faded into quiet. Despair rose. Candles... I can’t...they are beyond my reach... Cadel is beyond my reach...

  Time had no meaning in that dark place, outlined by painful, hateful light. Eventually, she noticed something. the edges of minds, magic approaching her. It felt as though she was alone in a dark room and blind people were looking for her. They came close, but they didn’t touch. They passed through her as if she were a ghost. They have mages looking at me. She thought. They’re trying to study me. That wasn’t going to work. If regular mages had been able to find her in this place then shadow magic wouldn’t be nearly so deadly or useful.

  She was affronted they’d even try. She allowed herself giddy pride, amusement that they thought they could enter her domain. For a moment, it took the edge off her despair. After a while her amusement faded. They were working with the candles, getting inside that hateful little barrier they had erected. They had to, if they wanted to see her. But that put them in her realm. She approached the clumsy creatures, felt the edges of their minds. They did not wear any candle-amulets around their necks. They were vulnerable to her... that was stupid, thoughtless. Another trap? She approached carefully, sliding into the mind of a sorcerer. Suddenly light and pain exploded inside and she was thrust out. When she regained herself all the sorcerers were gone and she was alone in her prison.

  ‘I didn’t like that,’ a man gasped, ‘I felt her.’

  ‘She’s still got some fight left, that’s a good thing.’ another man said. Louder, he called out to Cadel, ‘your wife isn’t dead yet!’

  Rage rose in Cadel, but he swallowed it and managed a grim, twisted smile. The mages laughed, but Cadel did not respond. He’d eaten all the food he’d been given that day. Now, he rested. His magic had been drained away by exhaustion and fights and break out attempts. His eyes were glued to the glowing ball on the other side of the bars. Emerré could not escape that. It was impossible. But maybe if he...

  CHAPTER 116

  30 Odref, 1353

  Time passed. Emerré made a few attempts at capturing the monsters who entered her domain. Each time she was painfully expelled by the candles. There were a lot here, she realized. Enough to keep her trapped, enough to protect the intruders. A large, expensive operation... she thought. Candles didn’t come cheap.

  She realized she was dying. With no body, she was slowly breaking apart. She must have been here over a day. She had felt this way before, dispassionately observed her own disappearance, like fog on a hot, sunny day. But not this time. Grief lanced sharply through her. Cadel. Our son. So close, she thought, just over there. She drifted through her memories, clinging to all she had left of him. I was nearly gone... I did not know myself anymore, but then I found him and...and then I found him. She pondered that for a while, she had no way of knowing how long. He is like a magnet for me...and he’s so close. With that thought in mind Emerré stopped fighting her dissipation, stopped clinging to thoughts of her child and husband. Will the candles disperse once I am gone? Will Cadel draw me to him? And if the candles are still around, what will I do then? She quieted those thoughts.

  It was time for her to go.

  ‘Are you sure?’ the man who had murdered Rochelle asked.

  Cadel saw the outline of a head nod.

  ‘There is nothing but pieces left. They no longer form a functioning whole.’

  ‘But she’s a shadow mage-’

  ‘If I chopped you up into little pieces and scattered those pieces around this room, would you be alive? Would you be able to come alive if I gathered the pieces up?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘That is the equivalent of what has happened to her soul.’

  ‘I see. Can you learn anything from this?’ he was talking to one of the other mages now.

  Cadel, his heart beating painfully fast, tried to ignore this. They were speaking of something else, they had misunderstood, they were... the words kept clanging around inside his head, trying to come together, trying to tell him some horrible truth.

  ‘-I don’t know if we learnt anything when she was all together...’ he sighed. ‘It was like she was just out of our grasp...’

  ‘What about you?’

  A small, childish voice spoke up. ‘Maybe... ’

  ‘You’re a shadow mage, she’s a shadow mage.’ the man was getting angry. ‘Are you telling me you didn’t learn anything from her? None of you did?’

  ‘Well...hmm, I guess if I practiced now... it’s kind of a sense, it’s hard to put into words...and it’s hard with all these mean candles here!’ the child cried petulantly.

  A shadow mage? They had another shadow mage here? he thought in disbelief.

  ‘Well, sure.’ the man said, his voice was now pleasant. ‘Sure. I hope you learnt something, these mean candles cost a lot, don’t you, you mean candles?’

  ‘If you can find someone else to do this, go ahead.’ one of the candles responded calmly. ‘She’s dead and gone now.’

  ‘Yes, yes.’ he waved his hand.

  Cadel sat quietly, concentrating on his rasping breath. Why was it so hard to breathe? Nothing was wrong, they were wrong so why was it-

  ‘Emerré is gone.’ the man said. He stood by the bars to Cadel’s cell, his hands clasped behind his back.

  Cadel sat stock still. He wasn’t listening.

  ‘I’m afraid you know what happens now. But perhaps...’

  Behind the man the light flashed out, plunging them all into darkness that seemed all the blacker for the light. ‘...perhaps I’m going to get angry at whoever forgot to light a torch before doing that!’ the man yelled, spinning around.

  There were quick apologies as a mage made a ball of light. Torches were lit, the magic light was put out. The man was talking again. ‘What I was saying was... perhaps it would be a relief for you. I understand you’re a little bit... unstable. That’s why you can only do violent magic, magic that hurts, correct? You can’t create anything, can’t fix or heal, only destroy. A little strange.’

  Cadel heard him mutter to himself, ‘didn’t learn anything? They better have... I’m not taking the blame for this...’

  ‘Didn’t go as you planned?’ Cadel said in a cracked voice. He barked a laugh. ‘Didn’t go as you planned! Hell, my kid’s going to be an o-orphan, for no good reason! Gee, that’s relief! It really makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER!’

  ‘I’ll have someone take care of you soon.’

  ‘None that matters because you’re lying. You’re lying. Emerré, you’re fine, you’re fine, we’ll be home soon, you’re fine-’

  ‘I’m not tangling with an angry wizard. We’ll have someone down here soon.’ And the man started walking away. Cadel heard him muttering under his breath. He didn’t listen. He was busy reminding himself that they were all lying. He was having another nightmare. This was all a lie. As he was repeating his mantra to himself he didn’t hear the footsteps of someone else approaching him. He didn’t notice until the cell door opened.

  ‘Do you want to stand up?’

  ‘Do I want to stand up?’ Cadel said, every word excruciating. ‘Of course I want to stand up!’ and he launched himself at the other man’s legs. The man let out a surprised gasp. ‘Hey, I was just giving you-’ he struggled as he tried to fight Cadel off, ‘a chance to die on your feet!’

  ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m so pleased you thought of that after - Emerré, Emerré!’ his words turned into a desperate wail.