On purpose? No, it couldn’t have been on purpose. He just hadn’t realized how close I was. It must have been an accident. He loved me. Jason didn’t want to hurt me.

  His elbow struck me in the chest.

  And I fell backward. Down the stairs.

  Grandma’s lessons when she’d taught me to ride my first pony flooded into my mind. She taught me what to do if I lost my balance and fell off so I wouldn’t get hurt when I hit the ground.

  Tuck and roll, Sarah. Tuck and roll.

  And I had.

  I’d tucked my head into my arms, pulled up my legs, and bunched my body. I rolled and thudded down the stairs. I landed in a heap and everybody ran to see if I was okay.

  Everybody but Jason. He just stood on the landing, glaring down at me.

  TEN

  Chief Rivers took me home Sunday afternoon. Vonnie came along. As soon as we carried my stuff into the room, we looked at each other. The place was a wreck. Piles of my clothes were scattered across the floor. Broken potato chips, pieces of cookies, and smashed chocolate slimed my sheets.

  The large gray teddy-bear Jason gave me appeared to have wandered away to parts unknown. I didn’t point that out to Vonnie. I’d suspected Miss Priss would give away the stuffed animal, and it was hard for me to care. It would have been different if I lost Cappy, but that was why I took my stuffed tiger everywhere with me.

  When we put away the clothes I’d taken to Vonnie’s, I spotted a broken dish on the closet floor. Vonnie sighed and went for the vacuum, as well as the broom and dustpan. I dragged over the chair from my desk and climbed up. My porcelain doll, the bride in the fancy white dress, was gone. So was the old-time baseball girl. The collection of dolls in fancy eighteenth-century gowns had been stolen too. Every single doll—gone.

  Tears burned my eyes. One trickled down my face, followed by another.

  All six of my Army bears were gone, as if they’d never existed. So, were a bunch of my board games, including Horse-Opoly. Miss Priss even gave away my books, CDs and my movies. What was I supposed to do, totally take everything I owned to Vonnie’s?

  Losing my stuff hurt worse than the fall down the stairs. I knew Bruce and Priscilla hated me. Who wouldn’t know after six years in this hell house?

  But my own mother? How could she let them do this? I heard Vonnie coming back. I wiped away my tears. I climbed down and hurried to put back the chair. I didn’t want to talk about this.

  After we finished cleaning and putting away my clothes, Vonnie left. I took another pain pill and a muscle relaxant. It was a little early, but all I wanted was sleep. When I woke up, maybe I’d be able to tell Mom what Priscilla had done.

  Mom might help this time. She might care.

  Sure, she will. And I believe in Santa Claus, too!

  I’d barely dropped on top of my bed when Bruce charged into the room. He yelled something. I didn’t hear it through my fogged ears.

  “What?” I mumbled into the pillow.

  “Wake up, Sarah. I’ll take you to your grandma’s now.”

  “Why?” I croaked, not moving.

  “It’s Sunday. You’ve got stalls to muck.” His voice faded in and out like a distant radio station. “Come on. I’m not listening to Evelyn or your mom when you shirk your responsibilities.”

  “Grandma said I didn’t have to clean stalls when she came here.” I wondered if I should call her and ask about today. It seemed like too much trouble.

  “Don’t waste any more of my time. Let’s go.” Bruce continued to rant as I got up. It went on while I stumbled out of the house to his car. Words floated into my brain.

  “You’re stupid. Lazy. Worthless. You shouldn’t have a horse. Your aunt spoils you rotten. I told her we wouldn’t pay board for that animal. She should send it to slaughter if nobody will buy it.”

  “There aren’t any slaughterhouses in Washington anymore, Bruce. The do-gooders got rid of them.” I managed to clip my seat belt before he zoomed down the drive. I was glad the dogs were safe in the back yard. Of course, he’d blame me if they were loose and he hit one of them.

  He raved more. “You’re cold. Callous. Cruel. How can you care for a horse when you won’t even look after poor little Priscilla? You ignore her most of the time and blame her for everything wrong in the house.”

  “Only because she’s a brat,” I said. “She does every rotten thing I say she does. She’s a thief and you let her give away all my stuff this weekend.”

  Bruce ignored me and kept yelling. “Stupid, shallow sleaze. You think my whole house and everything in it should revolve around you? You’re a cheerleader. You’re so cool. You flop your boobs and butt all over the place. Nobody better correct Sarah, the town slut.” He turned into the driveway at Horse Heaven.

  I giggled. He sounded just like the cheer we made up yesterday. I bounced up and down in my seat and snapped my fingers.

  “Stepdads are the pits! Worse than drugs, alcohol and zits. I got trouble. I got trouble. I got you!”

  “What the hell are you saying?”

  He didn’t dare to lay a hand on me. Warren would beat the crap out of him and all of us knew it. I went on to the next verse.

  “Stepdads got no reason to live. All the hell you give. Throw me away. Away. Away! Lose the bucks my real dad pays!”

  Bruce slammed on the brakes and skidded to a stop. “That’s it. Out, bitch!” His face was purple with rage.

  I unhooked my seat belt and opened the door. “Dishing the dirt’s different than eating it, huh, Brucie?” I got out of the car. “Will you wait while I ask Grandma about mucking stalls?”

  He was off in a spray of gravel before I finished the question. Oh, well. So, what? I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. I’d finally learned how to handle Bruce. Now, why did I feel so bad?

  The pain pill made it difficult to think, and my legs felt springy as I weaved through the parking lot toward the indoor arena. I saw Rita and Kaitlyn running toward me. They wore blue jeans, T-shirts, and blue farm sweatshirts. Kaitlyn was her usual fashion diva self in teal mud boots, and a matching equestrian helmet. I wondered what was wrong. Why were they running like there was a big emergency? My feet slid and I landed on my butt in the gravel. Ouch!

  Rita stopped in front of me. “Sarah, are you okay?”

  Kaitlyn held out a hand. “Can you stand up? Here, let me help you.”

  Rita shook back her long black hair. “Why are you here? Abbie and Marcie said you needed to rest.”

  “I came to clean the stalls.”

  “Oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense.” Kaitlyn had three inches on me. At five foot, five, she looked fragile, but she wasn’t. She pulled me to my feet. “What shall we do with her?”

  “If we take her in the barn, the customers will see her. Some of those idiots will think a horse did that to her and her grandmother will have a fit and fall in it.” Rita chewed on her lower lip. “Come on. We better take her to the house.” She slipped her arm around my waist. “Start walking, Sarah. We gotta find your grandma.”

  “What about the stalls?” A tear trickled down my cheek. “Bruce threatened to get rid of Xanadu if I don’t clean them.”

  “The guy’s a jerk, Sarah,” Kaitlyn said, with a toss of her strawberry blonde head. “Everybody in town knows that. Your grandma and Aunt Cathy won’t let him touch a chestnut hair on Xanadu.”

  “And I’m covering your work until you can do it,” Rita added. “We’re best barn buddies. You’ll make it up to me when you’re back to riding. I suck at trimming and braiding my horse’s mane, and I want him to look awesome for the next show.”

  We arrived at Grandma’s log cabin and I staggered up the steps to the front porch. “I can do that when my fingers work better. They feel all weird today.”

  Concern slipped into Kaitlyn’s brown-sugar eyes. “I think more than your fingers feel wonky, Sarah. You can hardly walk.”

  “Yeah, my knees are like mush.” We went in the front door and I called, “Grandma, I’m here.”

  “Why?” She came through from the kitchen into the front room that she used as an office. “Sarah, you should be at home. What’s going on?”

  “Her stepdad brought her.” At five feet, seven, Rita was the same height as Grandma and their gazes met evenly. “He left her in the parking lot and peeled out so we helped Sarah come up here.”

  “Good thinking, girls.” Grandma came over to hug me. “I’m glad to see you, honey, but I really can’t have you in the barns.”

  “Yeah, like Kait says, somebody will think you have mean horses.” I yawned. “Grandma, my pills make my head all woozy, too.”

  “Then, you better lie down.”

  “We’re going back to the barn, Mrs. Tiernan,” Rita said. “We’ll do Sarah’s chores today.”

  “Okay, but I don’t want you girls dumping the muck buckets,” Grandma said. “Leave them for the ranch-hand to empty. Just pitch the manure in them and then dress the stalls with shavings.”

  “No worries,” Kaitlyn said. “We’ll call you tonight, Sarah, unless you’re up to seeing us later.”

  “I’ll see you at school in the morning for sure,” I said. “I can’t take any more time off without messing up my grades and losing my place in varsity cheer.”

  “We’ll see how you feel tomorrow, Sarah.” Grandma helped me into the kitchen where one of her customers, Fiona Walker, the riding instructor who was a super substitute teacher at the academy, and Aunt Cathy, drank coffee.

  They gave me the kind of looks that Chief Rivers and the officer at the football game did. “It’s all right,” I said. “I got hurt at school. All the horses are nice.” I eyed Aunt Cathy. “You’re just visiting, right? Nobody’s sick?”

  “Only you, sweetie.” Aunt Cathy got up and headed over to me. “Why did your mom bring you here?”

  “She didn’t. She’s at work. Bruce brought me to clean stalls.” I explained for what felt like the millionth time. “It’s Sunday and he’s pissed about Xanadu.”

  Aunt Cathy nodded. “Did Bruce say something hurtful to you today?”

  “No, not today.” I giggled. “He didn’t like the new cheer that Marcie, Abbie, and I made up about stepparents. Vonnie thinks we should do it at a game. Want to hear it?”

  “Later.” Aunt Cathy opened Grandma’s bedroom door.

  “You can show us when you wake up.” Grandma helped me onto her bed. “Go to sleep, darling.”

  I yawned, barely aware when she messed with my shoes. Aunt Cathy covered me with the green and yellow afghan she’d made for Grandma. I heard Aunt Cathy ask about calling Mom, and Grandma say, “Me first.”

  Before I could tell them not to bother her at Book City, sleep claimed me.

  When I woke, late afternoon sunlight streamed through the bedroom windows. I felt human. I checked the radio-clock on Grandma’s nightstand and realized I’d slept three hours. Hungry and thirsty, I tossed the blanket aside. After hitting her bathroom, I headed for the kitchen.

  I still felt like I floated instead of walked. Maybe I was the same as my horse. Xanadu always had a springy gait because she was purebred Arabian.

  Grandma and Fiona were gone, probably in one of the barns. Her same customer sat at the table, a cup of coffee in front of her.

  Aunt Cathy swung around from where she filled a mug at the counter. “Hey, sleepy-head. How do you feel?”

  “My legs are weird.” I sat at the table and eyed the carton of doughnuts. “Cool. Can I have one?”

  “Sure,” Aunt Cathy said. “What kind do you want?”

  “I don’t know yet.” I pulled off the lid. There were maple bars, chocolate frosted, sugar covered and what might be custard filled. “Wow. Awesome.” I reached for the maple bar with the most frosting, then changed my mind.

  “Are you going to poke your fingers in all of them?” Aunt Cathy asked. “Your mom used to do that with chocolate. It’s why I only give her Whitman’s Samplers. They have a map on the cover so she’ll know what each piece is before she eats it.”

  “Great idea,” I said.

  Grandma’s customer stood. “I don’t think so. I’ll cut them in pieces and then you can have whatever kind you want. Cathy, why don’t you get her a glass of milk?”

  “I’d rather have coffee,” I said.

  “Right.” Aunt Cathy headed to the fridge, obviously ignoring me. “Sarah, this is a friend of mine, Helene Nelson. We went to college together. She leases Houston.”

  I appreciated the tip. I didn’t want to offend a customer or do what Grandma called, ‘taking a shingle off her roof.’ She said that was what Bruce always did. He made someone angry enough to leave the stable in a huff.

  “I didn’t get hurt by a horse here,” I said again. “Mine’s great.”

  “Mine’s better.” Helene brought over the plate filled with different kinds of bite-size pieces of doughnuts. “Evelyn told me you were hurt at school. Who is your horse?”

  I opted for a chunk of the maple bar first. “Xanadu.” When Helene looked confused, I described my mare. “She’s the chestnut Arabian with the blonde mane, three white socks and a blaze. She’s down in the Indoor Arena barn. She’s barely a horse, just over fourteen hands, two inches.”

  “That makes sense.” Helene sipped her coffee. “So, your folks bought her for you?”

  “No, Adam Flynn, my real father did.” I went for a piece of a sprinkle-decorated doughnut. “He adopted me and Warren, so that makes him our dad, right?”

  “That’s right,” Aunt Cathy said, putting a tall glass of milk in front of me. “I’ve told you about him before, Helene. He’s career military and constantly volunteers for more combat tours in Afghanistan. If he was stateside, you two kids could visit him regularly or even live with him.”

  “That’d be great, but Mom hardly ever lets us go to the Army bases to see him.” I decided to try a chocolate piece next. “Fiona told me once he paid some of the board for Xanadu. Why do Mom and Bruce say I have to clean stalls twice a week for her?”

  “Because if you have to work very hard, then you might agree to sell her.” Aunt Cathy looked hard at me. “You might feel overloaded with school, cheer practice, riding, and your first real boyfriend.”

  “I won’t sell Xanadu. She loves me just the way I am.” I eyed the doughnuts. “She’s kind of like you, Grandma, and Warren, but she has four legs.”

  “Good to know where I rate.” Aunt Cathy came over and hugged me. “You’re a kid after my own heart.”

  I smiled and leaned against her. Before they asked more questions, I heard the front door open. Rita sauntered in, followed by Kaitlyn. “Hi. You guys want a doughnut?”

  “Sure.” Kaitlyn headed for the sink to wash her hands. “They don’t have calories since they’re already cut into pieces.”

  ELEVEN

  Aunt Cathy and Helene didn’t stay. They headed for the barn so Helene could tack up for her lesson with Fiona. Once the adults cleared the house, Rita reached for a piece of glazed doughnut. “Abbie called me last night. She says B.J. and Dallas are joining varsity. Terrific choices, Sarah.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know who will take over on J.V. for them,” I said.

  “It’ll all work out. B.J. and Dallas will choose someone good.” Kaitlyn sauntered over to the counter and poured a cup of black coffee. “So, did your dumb stepdad really think you could muck stalls?”

  “The key word is dumb,” Rita said. “I don’t know how you put up with him, Sarah. My new one is a bit of a pain, but he tries to treat me the same as his kids.”

  I shrugged. “If Bruce treated me like he does Miss Priss, I’d puke. I think part of his crap today was because I split for the weekend and left him and Mom to clean up after her slumber party. Of course, I didn’t count on the little brat giving away all my stuff for party favors.”

  “What? No way!” Kaitlyn joined us at the table. “What did you lose?”

  “Practically everything I didn’t take to Vonnie’s. My porcelain dolls, all the bears my dad sends me, the huge one Jason brought—”

  Rita cut loose with a stream of words we never learned in her dad’s Spanish class. “That kid should be skinned alive.”

  “Marcie wants to give her a swirly,” I said. “And she only knows what Miss Priss did at cheer practice, not this weekend. I don’t know what to do with the rest of my stuff.”

  “Well, if you leave it there, you’re nuts. You know it’s going to be gone.” Kaitlyn sipped her coffee. “I’m cool if you want to bring your dolls to my house. My mom won’t care.”

  “My dad would be okay with it too,” Rita said. “I go to his place Wednesdays through Sundays now. I love the new custody arrangements. They get me away from Mom’s and her new family. You could keep your cheer stuff and clothes at my dad’s. He’d try and convince me that I should wear what you do, but I can handle it especially since we’re nowhere near the same size.”

  I managed a weak smile, even though I knew she tried to make me laugh. At Horse Heaven, Rita wore what everyone else did: blue jeans, boots, a blue sweatshirt and, of course, her equestrian helmet. But at school, she was the complete Goth girl, and it totally made her dad nuts when the headmaster or vice principal nailed her for uniform infractions, and she got Saturday school.

  Doctor Fernandez was one of the toughest teachers at the academy, and he always went off about what a good girl should and shouldn’t do. I was getting an A in Spanish 300, but I didn’t understand half of what he said when he ranted at her, and Rita just shrugged it off.

  A tear trickled down my cheek. “I just want the things back that she gave away.”

  “I don’t know how we’ll do that.” Rita got up and came around to hug me. “I’m so sorry she’s such a little bitch.”

  “Me, too.” Kaitlyn stood. She hugged me and Rita. “I’ll help with the swirly if you want.”

  For the next half-hour, Kaitlyn, Rita and I plotted strategies for me to get what remained of my belongings out of my room and to their houses without one of Mom’s famous meltdowns. It wasn’t as if I thought she cared about me or my stuff, but she freaked when people in Stewart Falls talked about her and Bruce. And if she had a few glasses of wine first—I shuddered at the thought.