“Thanks, Dad.” Jason snarled, more furious than ever. “I appreciate the loyalty.”

  His dad slapped his back. “Oh relax, son. Lighten up. It’s a game. Even Watkins needed a year to get the football team in shape. The girls did their usual great job today. Timing, precision, and team-work like always. Give them credit. They keep working that hard and they’ll win at their next competition.”

  I cringed inside at the praise. Hearing how good the cheerleaders were would just make Jason angrier. And it wasn’t even Homecoming Friday yet. I glanced toward the parking lot at the front of the school and felt even more dread when I saw Bruce’s car. What was he doing here?

  Usually, Warren came and got me, or Aunt Cathy did. Where were they? Why was he here? What happened to Mom?

  Bruce stomped toward me, scowling. “Aren’t you ready yet, Sarah?”

  “Too bad you didn’t see their practice.” Mayor Phillips patted my back. “These gals put on a great show.”

  “I’m not surprised.” Bruce sneered. “Sarah always prances around the house. She’s so cool. She can do whatever she wants. She’s a cheerleader.”

  I felt my stomach clench as if I’d been punched. He was in one of his moods. “Do I get to know what I did to piss you off?” I asked. “Or am I in trouble for breathing again?”

  He glared at me. “You’ll find out at home.”

  What had I done this time? Why had I ever thought things were going to get better? He’d been so decent lately, but I should have known it wouldn’t last.

  “I better go,” I whispered. “Thanks, Mayor.”

  “Wait a minute.” Mayor Phillips’ eyes were furious. He put a hand on my shoulder, and one on Jason’s. “These kids work damned hard, Masters. Not just on the field, but in school, too. I’m proud of them, all of them. You should be, too.”

  “Proud of her?” Bruce mocked. “She’s a cheerleader, and she does whatever she wants.”

  That did it. I tore out of the Mayor’s hold. “You lying sack of crap.” I stomped off past his car. I saw Priscilla in the back seat through a mist of tears. I kept walking. I wasn’t going home with them, not tonight, not ever.

  “Hey, Sarah.” Marcie waved at me. “Over here. We’re studying at my place tonight. You know what we say.”

  She started in on the cheer we’d made up. “Stepparents got no reason to live—”

  B.J. and Dallas joined in from the far side of the parking lot. “All the hell they give—”

  Soon it was the whole squad. Everybody except me, that is.

  “Throw us away. Away. Away! Lose the bucks our real folks pay.”

  While I got into Dave’s car, the cheer went on. He handed me a box of tissue and I cried.

  As usual, Marcie’s parents were at the casino in Marysville. As soon as we walked in the door, she opened the fridge and passed me a beer. The first one tasted like dirt. The second was better.

  I flirted half-heartedly with Dave until he left at eight. Neither of us took it too serious, since I knew how Rita felt about him. Jenny and Brianna arrived about the same time the pizza did from Parthenon’s. They stayed until eleven. Timber showed up an hour later. He came over and took away my third beer. “Hey, I’m drinking that,” I protested.

  “It doesn’t help,” Timber said. “Your troubles always swim better than they drown.” He put his arm around me. “Next time call me, kid.”

  “We aren’t dating,” I reminded him. “I don’t want another boyfriend. Guys stink.”

  “Except me.” Timber pulled me close, but it didn’t hurt. “You like me, right?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “But they’ll never have enough chocolate chips at Safeway to make as many cookies as I owe you.”

  “I like peanut-butter ones, too.” Tim guided me toward the door. “Tell Marcie goodnight. This was your last drunken orgy until you’re twenty-one.”

  “What a control freak.” At least Timber was honest, and he didn’t try to hurt me when he bossed me around. “See you at school, Marce.”

  “Okay, Sarah.” Marcie reached for Jason’s letterman’s jacket in the closet. “Want this? Or should I give it back?”

  I giggled. “You give it. Maybe he’ll get the message.”

  “Does Jason deserve it?” Timber opened the door for me. “What did he do? Bruce came to find Warren at my house when you didn’t get home. Bruce said he’d lost his temper when he picked you up, or rather didn’t pick you up.”

  I shrugged and wished I had my beer. I stumbled down the dirt driveway to the pickup. “Bruce was being rude and mean, so I left. What would you have done?”

  “Rearranged Bruce’s face,” Timber said calmly. “Then I’d have gone to jail, the adult one, not juvie. And the guys they have in there scare the hell out of me.”

  “But you’re tough,” I said.

  “In Stewart Falls.” Timber opened the passenger door of his truck. “It’s not that big a town, Sarah.”

  When I came in the kitchen, Mom had already called the academy and told them I was sick. She didn’t tell them why. Once she hung up, I had her undivided attention.

  “What were you thinking?” Mom gave me the fifty-amper glare as she ranted. “I don’t need this kind of stunt when I have Helene and Bruce on my back about you.”

  I buried my aching head in my hands. “Could you scream more quietly?”

  “No! Coming home drunk at one in the morning. You’re fifteen years old,” Mom shouted. “You’ll be sixteen in eleven days. You could have wrecked your whole life. You have choices, Sarah. If you didn’t want to ride with Bruce, why didn’t you call me? Or your Aunt Cathy? Or your grandma? Or Warren?”

  “Because I’m a stupid cheerleader?” Being a smart-mouth didn’t help.

  The high-volume lecture continued. Finally, it ended with me being grounded. It was an interesting punishment. It meant I couldn’t go anywhere except school for two weeks or talk to my friends on the land-line or have them here. Some big deal. Mom still hadn’t figured out that most of them wouldn’t come to this house on a dare or a bet. The sleepover last Saturday had been an exception, and I really didn’t think it’d happen again for months, if ever.

  Whoosh. Mom’s fit also got me out of Homecoming. I never thought I’d be glad to miss my first big dance as a sophomore. Jason and I were over and it felt so good.

  When Mom’s lecture slowed down, I got up and went over to her. I hugged her. “I love you, Mom.”

  She stroked my hair. “You’re still grounded, honey. Don’t ever scare me like that again. I don’t know what I would have done if Timber hadn’t known where to look for you.”

  “Yeah. He’s cool.” I leaned my pounding head against her. “But we’re not dating.”

  “Good.” Mom shifted me a little. “Sit down, honey. I’ll fix you my hangover remedy.”

  “How do you know one?” I stared at her and she winked at me. “My mother was a party animal? When?”

  “When I was in high school.” Mom smiled at me. “What? You thought I was some kind of saint? No, that was Jessie, not me. I was worse than Priscilla has ever dreamed of being. I could have made you beg for mercy or adoption.”

  I watched her go through the cupboards. “Wow. Grandma said all her kids were perfect and you never did anything wrong.”

  Mom laughed as she stirred up her concoction. “That’s baloney, but your grandma wouldn’t tell you otherwise.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I eyed her for a moment longer and then asked. “What did I do that pissed Bruce off so bad?”

  “We had a home visit from Helene yesterday.” Mom kept adding ingredients to the pitcher. “She wanted to see your room. It didn’t go over well when it was bare bones. She said a hotel would have more life. And then she found out we didn’t have a key to Warren’s basement apartment. She got in my face about that. How did I know what he kept downstairs? I told her it was just computers, but she wanted to know if he had drugs or booze down there. When I said I trusted him, it only made things worse.”

  I watched her pour the red liquid into two glasses. “And not knowing what was in Warren’s place made Bruce mad?”

  “No. He was really stressed about failing the home inspection, and I didn’t think it was a big deal. It’s not like she’s actually going to move the three of you. She’ll never find a home that will take all of you without any notice. When I said that, we had a big fight.” Mom passed me a glass. “Drink up. I got called in to work and it meant he had to come get you because I couldn’t.”

  I sipped the concoction. It was spicy and sweet all at the same time. Surprisingly, it did settle my stomach and eased the headache. I eyed Mom. Was she really that big a queen of denial? Helene got paid to put kids in foster care. If she thought we were in jeopardy, she’d have us out of here in a heartbeat. And poor Bruce would totally lose it if something happened to his princess, like her living someplace else. He adored Priscilla. No wonder he’d been so messed up yesterday.

  So, next time I saw him, I’d apologize to the guy. At least, he was trying to make things work so we’d be a family. I’d bet he was the one who’d said I had to have the guest room and Mom had to move her things. She hadn’t taken Helene serious yesterday. It meant everything the social worker said before hadn’t made an impression, either. I rinsed my glass and put it in the dishwasher.

  I didn’t want to listen to Mom’s excuses anymore. “Since I don’t have to go to school, I’m going back to bed.”

  “Okay. Your Aunt Cathy will be over to take you to your first appointment with the counselor this afternoon,” Mom said. “I have to go to work so I won’t be able to wake you up.”

  I shrugged and felt my shoulder throb. “No worries, Mom. I’ll set my alarm.”

  TWENTY-THREE

  Mom was long gone when I took a break from my Sophomore Project that afternoon. I went out in the backyard to get some fresh air. I heard Lady bark and Missy growl in excitement so I went to see what the dogs were doing. Bruce had Missy’s stuffed toy goat and the two of them were playing tug-of-war while Lady danced around them, yapping encouragement as if she was a puppy too.

  As I watched, Missy got the goat. She tossed it in the air, caught it in her mouth, and then whacked Bruce in the leg with the stuffed animal. He took the toy and flew it around her head. Amazed, I listened as he sang a silly song about a ram that had high hopes. Missy jumped up, grabbed the goat, and made the toy squeak along with my stepdad’s song.

  I cracked up. When I laughed, Lady ran over to greet me. She wanted me to come join the tail-wagging good time. I petted her, then headed across the yard. “Hey. I didn’t know Missy was a music lover.”

  “I’m sorry, Sarah.” Bruce stroked the puppy’s gold fur as she pushed her toy at him. “I was a total jerk last night.”

  “Why? We haven’t gotten along super great over the years. But you’ve been decent to me for almost two weeks. What did I do?”

  “It wasn’t you.” Bruce scowled and gave the stuffed toy goat to the puppy. “Things have been going well, and I figured Priscilla was shaping up. You had a room, and I wasn’t too worried about Helene. I thought we had it covered. Then, yesterday, everything went to hell, and I got pissed when your mom laughed it off and headed out to a bar. You just caught the fall-out and I’m sorry.”

  I stared at him. “She said she had to go to work.”

  The silence went on too long between us and all at once I knew he was being straight with me. Maybe Mom didn’t spend all her nights at Book City. She could be drinking at other places, not just at home. I had a dim memory of arguments between her and my dad about it.

  “I’m sorry about the home visit being a bust,” I said. “It would have helped if I’d known Helene was coming. Priscilla makes me crazy a lot of times, but I don’t want you to lose your kid.”

  “Thanks, Sarah. That’s good to know.” He paused. “Your mom didn’t want to make a big deal of the visit, or worry you guys,” he said, petting Missy. “I think it would have gone better if you and Warren knew what was going on, but just because everything went to hell didn’t mean I should have yelled at you in front of your friends.”

  I nodded. “So next time your life sucks, am I going to catch hell again?”

  “No.” Bruce stared off in the distance. “I managed not to call you names for two weeks. I can do better. I’m going to be fair to you for the rest of my life.”

  “That’s a long time,” I said. “Why don’t you do it the way Timber does? A day, an hour, a minute, even a second at a time?”

  “Timber calls you names?” Bruce asked, worried.

  “No, he never would. He’s too nice a guy for that.” I hesitated, then said, “This is private. Timber used to drink.”

  Bruce picked up the toy Missy dropped at his feet. “Hell, Sarah. Everybody in town knows that.”

  “He goes to meetings now,” I said. “And he doesn’t drink at all. He’s been sober for almost six months.”

  “I’m sure he knows to the minute how long it’s been since his last drink,” Bruce commented. “He’s a good guy, Sarah. I’ll bet he’s never kicked a dog in his life.”

  “Yeah.” I grinned up at Bruce. “Guess what? I’m grounded. I can’t go with Jason to Homecoming. I’m, like, so glad.”

  “That was my idea.” Bruce laughed. “I live to make you happy, Sarah. I love you a lot.”

  I met his gaze evenly. “It’s going to take time for me to get used to that.”

  He nodded. “That’s fair. It took time for us to mess things up this badly. I didn’t handle it well when you and Warren moved in six years ago, and I don’t have an excuse. I was the adult.”

  “Yeah, well, we weren’t real nice to you either,” I said, leaning down to pet Missy. “We didn’t want a new dad. We just wanted ours with us, not always going off to wars.”

  “And that’s reasonable too,” Bruce said. “I used to get so mad when you wouldn’t do what I told you to do, but you always listened to Warren.”

  “Because we’ve always been there for each other when nobody else was. Mom does her best, but –.” I paused, unwilling to repeat what Warren had said about a person pretending to care.

  Bruce nodded again. “Yeah, I’m starting to figure that out, Sarah. I can step up and be there if you two let me.”

  Because Mom called in sick for me, I didn’t have cheer practice that afternoon. Bruce had left for the closing shift at the tire store by the time Aunt Cathy took me to meet Bernice Jefferson. I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t a short woman with curly black hair and dark brown eyes the same color as Dave’s. In faded blue jeans and a Seattle Sea-Hawks T-shirt, Bernice reminded me of Grandma. They both acted like they could kick butt and take names. I felt safe with Bernice who looked me up and down then greeted me with a sunny smile just like Dave’s.

  “Come on in, Sarah.” Bernice held the office door for me. “We’ll see you in an hour, Dr. Tiernan.”

  Aunt Cathy frowned. “Shouldn’t I stay this time?”

  “No. I want Sarah to feel comfortable talking to me. You can wait out here and my secretary will be happy to get you some coffee.”

  Three minutes later, we were in her office. There was a desk in one corner, but Bernice ignored it. She waved me to one recliner and took the one opposite it. “Okay, Sarah. Let me explain the ground rules and then we’ll talk. All right?”

  I nodded and listened.

  She told me that she couldn’t share anything I told her without my permission, but if she thought I was a danger to myself, she’d arrange for me to stay in a hospital.

  “I’m not trying to make this happen,” I told her. “But I keep screwing up.”

  “How? What do you do?”

  I poured it all out to her, well, almost all. I didn’t tell her Jason’s name. Whenever I quit chattering, she hit me with another question and I started up again. She didn’t call me names or treat me like I was stupid. At the end of the hour, she told me she wanted to see me again the next day. Then, she called in Aunt Cathy.

  Bernice told her that karate was a good idea and hoped I’d stick with it. Aunt Cathy said she, Bruce and my dad would insist on it. Then Bernice went on, “The problem is, Dr. Tiernan, that Sarah recreates what she views at home as a good relationship. A restraining order for the boy who beats her isn’t worth the paper it’s written on without enforcement. He could kill your niece. “

  “I know,” Aunt Cathy said. “It’s one reason we’re here. Did Sarah tell you who it is?”

  “Not yet,” Bernice answered. “And even when she does, I can’t tell you. She’s my patient. I have to respect her secrets and her privacy.”

  Aunt Cathy looked as if she wanted to hit something herself. “So, I’m stuck in a Catch-22. Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.”

  “Pretty much.” Bernice smiled at me. “Can I give your aunt a hint, Sarah?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I guess so.”

  “Statistics show most women are murdered by their husbands and boyfriends,” Bernice said. “You tell me it’s not Sarah’s stepdad. She’s more than confirmed that.”

  “And she’s not married,” Aunt Cathy said, trying to smile. “So, all I have to do is keep her away from each and every boy in the high school, except her brother.”

  I sighed. “Honestly, Aunt Cathy. Mellow out. It’s not Dave Jefferson or Timber Watkins or Vonnie’s brothers either.”

  “Great. Five out of hundreds.” Aunt Cathy hugged me. “Sarah, honey. Can’t you give me more help? It’s not your fault.”

  “Keep telling her that until tomorrow afternoon,” Bernice said. “I’ll see her after cheer practice and karate. She can bring a burger and eat while she talks to me.”

  “Cool,” I said. “But I’d rather have a salad than a grease burger.”

  “All that discipline,” Bernice said. “Use it on those affirmations I gave you. Practice them morning and night. I need to talk to your aunt alone, Sarah. Will you wait outside for her?” I must have looked suspicious, because she added. “I want to set up appointments for family counseling. You aren’t alone in this pattern, and the rest of your family needs to see me, too. Maybe your aunt can help me arrange time with your folks.”