Love he wanted to give back to her so fucking badly.

  His chest tightened. His heart clenched.

  Time to end this show or she would pull him under until he only cared about Tessa, not doing what was right. He was already perilously close to giving up everything he believed in for her.

  “I am,” she whispered against his lips.

  He pressed their foreheads together and plunged into her body as he drilled into her soul. One long, strong thrust led to another, then the next. She twisted under him, cried out, begging him with almost inhuman sounds of need. And still he kept fucking her, doing his best to stave off his rising need for release.

  Because once he pulled free from her body, he’d probably never have her again.

  Everything inside him fought that notion.

  He wasn’t braced when she gripped his face in her hands and slanted her lips over his as if she needed to be as close to him as possible.

  Zy was done for.

  The pleasure he’d been trying to dam spilled over, bursting free. He gripped her even tighter, sank his knees into the mattress, and filled her with merciless strokes. She clung and cried out, her pussy clenching and clutching, holding him as tight as possible.

  He let his control go, promising himself this one sublime moment before sanity reigned again. For the moment, he pretended that only pleasure and love—only Tessa—mattered. He’d grill her later. Now he gave himself over to the most combustive orgasm he’d ever experienced. Ecstasy singed his skin and boiled his blood. It strained his back and seized his churning insides as he filled her deep, shaking uncontrollably, his throat grinding his voice as he shouted her name.

  His vision began to black out, reducing down to only Tessa. He gave up moving or breathing or being in any way except with her as he unloaded both his seed and his soul inside her.

  Yeah, he might have intended to work her over for information, but there was no denying she had fucked him good. He was never going to be the same.

  With that terrible realization, he closed his eyes and ripped free from her before he even fucking caught his breath.

  Tessa reached for him, her gaze confused and imploring. “Zy?”

  He couldn’t give in to her now. If he did, he’d stop caring that she was just using him and didn’t love him. He’d sacrifice everything for the high of touching her. And he’d fuck his whole life forever.

  “I gotta go.” He reached for his pants.

  A furrow appeared between her brows. Shock. Tears trembled on her bottom lashes. Her lips parted in a soft, sad O. She looked a heartbeat from falling apart.

  Fuck, did she practice that expression in a mirror? She must. It was so convincing, so seemingly genuine that he almost took her in his arms to reassure her.

  “What did I do wrong? I tried to say I was sorry and to please you and—”

  “Nothing,” he lied, then shook his head. “No, that’s not true. It was everything.”

  Someday, he might be able to forgive her, but he would never forget.

  It was fucking hard for a man to admit when a woman had his number so completely he would do or say anything to keep her. He used to think pussy-whipped guys were just losers and suckers who couldn’t get laid, so they settled for the first one who did them halfway right. Now he knew he’d been wrong.

  And now he knew he’d be forever miserable because no other woman would ever be Tessa.

  “I don’t underst—”

  “I’m pulling out tomorrow night.” He tugged on his shirt and rattled off the lies he’d prefabricated. “We know Kimber’s location. She’s in the state, nearby. It will be a surgical insertion, probably in the early-morning hours. I’ll get in. I’ll get out—hopefully with Kimber. If no one hears from me by Monday, something went wrong.”

  “You’re going?” She looked horrified. “Alone?”

  He nodded. “It’s better this way.”

  Tessa tossed aside the sheet, tears running down her cheeks as she scrambled off the bed, baring herself totally before she threw herself against him. “No. Don’t go.”

  “I have to.”

  “You don’t. Please,” she begged. “Don’t go. These people are dangerous. L-look what they did to One-Mile last fall.”

  “That’s what they’ll do to Kimber if I stay here.” That was likely the truth. He couldn’t get lost in his own fucking feelings and forget that she was someone’s wife, sister, daughter, and mother trapped in these people’s clutches. And she would probably die if he didn’t deceive Tessa now. “She doesn’t deserve that.”

  Tessa went from shedding pretty tears to crying ugly ones as she wrapped her arms so tightly around him he could barely breathe. “Neither do you. Please…”

  Zy didn’t know why she was begging him not to go. Did she, somewhere deep down, feel bad about deceiving him? Or did she know he’d run into something deadly because she was setting a trap?

  It didn’t matter. The deed was done. He’d told the lie. Now he had to let the chips fall.

  “I don’t have a choice.” He cupped her face and gave in to his need to cover her mouth with one last lingering kiss. She cried and clung. Then, before his heart fucking bled out, he pulled away. “Goodbye, Tessa.”

  Resisting her needy eyes and crumbling expression, he turned away, and left—probably for good.

  As Zy left, Tessa heard the door slam behind him and the click of her deadbolt, followed by the faint rev of his motorcycle out front as he sped away.

  Then she heard nothing but the empty echo of terrible, stabbing silence.

  What was she going to do?

  Her baby was gone, captive of some drug cartel or another. The man she loved had left to destroy those same criminals or ones just like them. Tessa had seduced him for answers to save her baby, and she had the terrible feeling he’d seen right through her. And he’d given her what she wanted to know…but he hated her for it.

  Now, she was utterly and completely alone.

  Anyone she might have called to talk this through? They were gone, too. Her parents? Dead. Her bosses? Wrapped up in saving their own family. Her co-workers? On Zy’s side. The one friend she might have confided in? A captive of criminals herself. Kimber couldn’t help her now.

  No one could.

  She had to help herself.

  Around her, the walls of her once-homey duplex pressed in, crushing her along with the inky night’s darkness. Tessa stood stock-still, listening to the sounds of her harsh breaths and frantic heartbeat in the hush.

  What was she going to do?

  She almost scoffed. How many choices did she really have?

  Only one. And it would kill her.

  On shaking legs, she blew out the candles she’d lit all around the bedroom, then groped her way to her bathroom, flipping on the harsh overhead light. When Tessa looked in the mirror, she blanched.

  Her cheeks and chest were still flushed with orgasm. Her lipstick was long gone from her swollen, bruised lips. Mascara ringed her eyes. She looked naked in every sense of the word. And haunted.

  It fit. From tonight on, she would never be happy or whole again since Hallie’s kidnappers had put her in a terrible predicament: save her daughter or the man she loved.

  Protecting one would probably result in the death of the other.

  She had to choose tonight. No delays. No excuses.

  It was a no-win situation.

  What had she done to deserve this karma?

  Tessa shoved the useless question aside. Feeling sorry for herself solved nothing.

  Fighting tears, she lunged forward and killed the bathroom light before lurching for her bed. It seemed like the natural place to sob over her hopelessness until she gathered the courage to do what she had to.

  But as she reached the edge of the mattress, the passion she and Zy had just shared rolled over her senses. The air smelled of sex. The sheets were still warm from his body.

  And she couldn’t stand the thought that in forty-eight hours he would likely be cold in the ground.

  Because her choice to save her daughter would have put him there.

  But Hallie was a baby. Her child. What other choice could she make? She couldn’t see a way to save them both. If she tried, she might well lose them.

  The outcome of her forced betrayal had already been too horrible to contemplate when she’d thought other EM operatives would be assigned to rescue Kimber. It had taken a while to realize that giving the enemy whatever she could scrape together about the planned rescue mission would allow the cartel to ambush and kill whichever of her peers had drawn the short straw. She’d hoped Zy wouldn’t be accompanying them. She’d prayed desperately.

  She should have known better. Worse, he would be attempting this rescue alone.

  Tessa staggered from the bed, against the opposite wall, feeling wretched and hollow. Defeated.

  Even her legs stopped supporting her.

  She slid down the wall and dragged her knees to her chest, staring out at the darkness, and tried to think of anything. Of any way. Of any possibility. There must be some course of action to preclude the seemingly inevitable.

  But what?

  If she failed to respond to Hallie’s abductors or gave them false information to help Zy, they would show their displeasure by ending her daughter. Poor Hallie would be dead before her first birthday because her mommy had been too naive to see danger coming and too unworldly to save her.

  Tessa couldn’t live without her precious baby daughter.

  But how did she live the rest of her life without the man who completed her heart?

  A cry rose from the depths of her soul, wracking her body. Grief poured out. Despair surged in. The sobs stole her breath and splintered her heart.

  No, she couldn’t give up. She couldn’t do nothing.

  Struggling to her feet, Tessa made her way to the living room, tossed on her bathrobe, and paced the darkened room. But as she ran through the scenario again, trying desperately to study the situation from another angle to find another solution, she ran into the same brick walls.

  She was trapped.

  From across the room, her phone rang. Tessa dashed for it, hoping it was Zy. That he wanted to come back. That he wanted to talk. That he’d changed his mind about the mission.

  When she lifted the device, it was her private caller instead.

  Tessa sucked in a shaky breath to steady herself. “Yes?”

  “Time’s up, Mama. Do you have information for us or is it a permanent nighty-night for this precious baby of yours?”

  She snapped. “How can you threaten an innocent child? What did she ever do to you? What did I ever do?”

  “Nothing,” he acknowledged with the gravity of someone talking about the weather. “But I can do anything I have to in order to stay alive and one step ahead of the cops.”

  “You’re putting your”—terrible, scummy, criminal—“existence ahead of a baby’s?”

  “If you’re trying to appeal to my sense of honor or humanity, I don’t have either. It’s a kill-or-be-killed world. The sooner you figure that out, the sooner you’ll be able to protect yourself and your daughter…provided you make the right decisions and earn her back. Speaking of which, do you have the information we need?”

  About Kimber’s rescue. About when and where it was going down. About who would be putting themselves in mortal danger to free the bosses’ sister.

  Tessa clutched her phone tighter. “Yes.”

  “Did you download the Abuzz app?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s your username?”

  Dutifully, she rattled it off. A moment later, she heard a ding.

  “That should be the notification that I’ve requested to be your friend. Accept me, then DM me the information.”

  “And if I do? If I betray everyone else in my life and I have nothing more to give you, will you finally return my daughter?”

  “We’ll see. My associates and I aren’t convinced this will solve our Edgington-Muñoz problem. If it does, I’ll bring her back right away. If not…we’ll be in touch, and you’ll have to figure out how to tell us what we need to know.”

  The three beeps in her ear told her the asshole had ended the call. Impotent fury zipped through her. Misery chased it. Was there any end in sight to this fucking nightmare?

  With trembling fingers, Tessa opened the app. Her legs felt weak as she stumbled to the sofa, accidentally tripping over the corner of the nearby chair and catching her toe on something soft and squeaky. She flipped on the small lamp of the nearby end table and lifted the object she’d unwittingly kicked out from under the skirt.

  Hallie’s little stuffed pink elephant. The one she loved to chew on. The one she’d been missing for two days before her disappearance.

  Oh, god.

  Hot, scalding tears stung her eyes and poured down her cheeks again, agonizing and uncontrollable. They fell onto the toy, staining it with acidic drops and running mascara.

  Tessa bit back a cry and swiped at her cheeks, sniffled, and cuddled the little stuffed animal to her chest as if it could bring her closer to her baby. It still smelled like her daughter, fresh and sweet with that hint of baby still clinging.

  A million times she’d seen Hallie hold the elephant, kiss it, gnaw on it, or nap with it. She’d give anything to see her little girl happy and smiling and holding this plushie again.

  The cost to see her wish come true was reprehensibly high.

  It’s a kill-or-be-killed world.

  Tessa had no choice but to pay the cost.

  “Hang on, baby. Mommy will do whatever it takes to bring you back.”

  Despite knowing she’d made the only choice she could, Tessa wept uncontrollably when she opened the app, typing out everything she knew about Kimber’s rescue, and hit Enter, most likely consigning Zy to death.

  After leaving Tessa’s house, Zy returned to his apartment and drank—to blunt his anger, to dull his pain. He wished like hell sleep would come, but he sat on the sofa with one hand around the neck of his whiskey bottle while he replayed the night in his head.

  So much searing pleasure. So much goddamn agony. Tears he didn’t fucking want stung his eyes.

  Whoever sang “Love Hurts” hadn’t been kidding. It burned and ached like a bitch. There was nowhere to go to escape. He had to endure it like an injury, minute by minute, day by day, until hopefully, maybe, he healed someday.

  Right now that didn’t feel possible.

  How could Tessa hand-deliver him to the enemy for an early death? Sure, she’d cried and begged him not to go on the mission she’d probably known would lead to a grave. But she hadn’t been sorry enough to confess her sins.

  Maybe he shouldn’t be shocked. After all, how many times had he told that woman he loved her? Too many to count. She’d never once said the words back to him.

  At least she hadn’t lied about that.

  Zy lifted the bottle again. His thoughts were too sober. Clearly, he needed to lean harder into the booze to get numb.

  But before he could take another swig to drown his sorrows, his phone rang.

  Groaning, he reached in his pocket and pulled out the device. Shit. It was Hunter.

  “Hey. Is something up? It’s the middle of the night.”

  If one of the bosses was calling at this hour, it wasn’t to chitchat. But even expending the energy to talk—and act like his world wasn’t imploding—was exhausting him. His voice sounded like it hadn’t been used in a decade. Every muscle in his body hurt.

  But nothing ached like his dying heart.

  “What the hell have you been doing around the office?”

  He sat up straighter. “What do you mean? I’ve done my job.”

  Zy had taken the position to save his post-military career after blowing up all his goodwill in the Middle East. It was proving to be his undoing since it had only brought him misery. If the bosses were going to pile on him, too, maybe he should fucking quit. Take his savings and buy a camper. Move out to the middle of nowhere. Live alone. Grow a serious beard. Stay the hell away from women.

  He only hated that idea because he’d never see Tessa again.

  What a sap.

  “When we stopped by the office early this morning to talk to the police after those bodies were discovered, Logan was able to swipe one of the victim’s phones, along with his dismembered thumb. He took both out to Trees, who unlocked the device and started prowling around. Looks like these assholes are using an app to communicate, which we’ll report to their tech support.”

  “They’re using Abuzz, right?”

  “How?”

  He snorted. “Lucky guess.”

  But inside, Zy seethed. Only Trees knew he was a part of that Garrett family. His parents had always gushed publicly about Ivy-League Theo. Zy, whom they’d refused to refer to as anything but Chase, was the kid they’d never talked much about to the press. That suited him just fine.

  He wasn’t about to advertise his connections to his bosses, either. He would rather call his prick of a father again and settle the matter like men. And if dear ol’ Dad wasn’t in the mood to listen to his son ream him out… Well, Zy knew ways of making him regret it. It was past time that big tech shithole got sorted.

  “Well…I don’t know what you said or did, but the fucking private board these cocksuckers use to communicate started lighting up an hour ago with information about their kidnap victim. The tidbits they’re posting should be helping us, but so far they’re not, goddamn it. And there’s talk you’ll be going in tomorrow night to do their dirty work, whatever that means. They’re speculating that you’re walking into an ambush that’s pure suicide. Where did this BS come from, and why the fuck do they think any of this?”

  Zy closed his eyes. So Tessa really had done it. She’d given over his bullshit information to the enemy. Despite all the pleasure they’d shared, not to mention her tears and clinging arms, she’d still sold him out.