I smile, revisiting the memory.

  “The man has a dirty mind,” I mutter.

  “Blame it on him,” she says, laughing.

  “Yes. It’s his fault. He made me dirty like him,” I say humorously. “Anyway...” I continue with a serious voice. “All those good choices that I made gave me the life that I have right now, but for some reason, it no longer feels enough. And I have no idea why it feels that way. I was so happy when I got this job, and then the place I live in. I was so content with my life, and then I started to think about the future. Maybe it has to do with him, after all, although I doubt. I’m mentally prepared for the moment when this thing with him will come to an end. I think that the way I feel right now has to do with you more than it has to do with him,” I say after a moment.

  I look at her.

  “With me?” she asks incredulously.

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “What did I do?”

  “Nothing. And it’s not only you. It’s everybody else.”

  She tosses me a questioning look.

  “Please explain.”

  “I made a few friends in New York, and all of them are more or less like me. Single or they hook up with someone from time to time. They’re driven to make money and further their careers. Very few of them have tied the knot. Even fewer have children. It’s a good life if you look from the sidelines, and I enjoy it tremendously–– I’m not gonna lie, but lately, I started to compare myself with you and everybody else here. With my friends in New York, I rarely spend more than a few nights out. Once someone moves on with their life–– changes jobs or locations or gets married, that person usually falls off the wagon, and pulls away. I don’t blame them. They don’t have time or space for old friends. The friendships are superficial, volatile. I don’t get a sense of belonging to a group. But that’s not how I feel when I look at you and Thea and Dahlia. Your men. You are still here, together. The Kings grew up together for fuck’s sake, and nothing pulled them apart all these years. And I guess, there’s something inside me that belongs here as well and it pulls me back, more and more. But no matter how often I come here to visit you, I feel like an outsider. And it doesn’t have anything to do with you, or them. It’s inside me and it confuses me.”

  I pause for a few moments, my eyes set on the trees covered with snow.

  Slowly, she steers the car left onto the road that snakes between the hills, leading to her home.

  “If I stay on track for the next ten years or so, chances are that I’d become my boss. High-octane career, perhaps a failed marriage, and then reinventing myself the way she does. Maybe another Christian or someone like him.”

  “Jeez... You haven’t even had the chance to know this guy, and you write him off already.”

  “Oh, come on. I can’t think of anything long-term with him.”

  “Why?”

  I look at her, surprised.

  “Are you asking me this? You know men better than me.”

  She grins.

  “And I also know you. You are afraid that he could be the one for you,” she says half-jokingly.

  I laugh wholeheartedly.

  “Are you fucking with me now?”

  She chuckles as well.

  “A little. I love seeing you laugh. You used to be my rock, and now you sound so jaded and suspicious of anything good that happens to you.”

  “Allegedly good.”

  “See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You’re questioning everything.”

  “Let me ask you something,” I say, as I train my eyes on her profile.

  “Shoot.”

  “How did you feel that first year when you left home, and you were away from James? You didn’t know if you’d ever meet him again, let alone talk to him.”

  Her smile dies out, a shadow hovering over her eyes.

  “I was lost.”

  The more I study her, the more she journeys to her past, and the soberer she becomes.

  “Looking back, I realize that it was one of the hardest times of my life. The good thing was that I had no idea what was happening to me, and I went through motions, not thinking of anything. And when it came to him...”

  She slowly shakes her head.

  “It was hell... Pure, utter hell. I never had the chance to tell him that–– not that I wanted to anyway, but I was living in a big dark hole. I never thought that he’d affect me so much. And that he’d take away from me so much. My life was a complete clusterfuck. So in a way, you are luckier than me. At least you have your life under control.”

  I stay quiet, the car engine purring as we roll past the gates of Sexton estate. Trees covered in snow and pulsing lights greet us from either side of the road.

  She continues.

  “Back then, I couldn’t even think about the future without getting swept by panic. Then, things settled down somehow, and I got enough money for food and shelter, and even enough to think about the future, but I was more or less like you right now. My life was good, but my heart wasn’t.”

  She pulls the car to a smooth stop before she sifts her gaze to me and locks my eyes.

  “I think I know what you mean...” she says quietly. “It’s just that it happened to me much earlier.”

  14

  Eve

  For an hour or so, cars pull in the driveway, and staff members rush to greet the people who walk in the big house before the vehicles are parked to the side.

  The air vibrates with voices and greetings as drinks an appetizers are served. Half an hour later, we all take seats around the table.

  The food is delicious, the atmosphere fantastic, and my mood visibly improved.

  Fashioning a white dress and sparkling diamonds, Rain is the perfect hostess as always. I find myself studying her a few times, marveling at her confidence.

  Prepped for the occasion with scented candles, cozy cream throws, golden string lights, orangeberry wreaths, and exquisite centerpieces, the house streams the outside winter imagery through its large windows.

  Thea is home with the twins, and Ed stops by to say hi to all of us, promising a party at his place as soon as their life gets back to normal. I get the chance to talk to him for a few moments and congratulate him before he rushes home.

  Around seven, the door opens and a man I know walks in.

  “What is he doing here?” I ask, elbowing Rain discreetly.

  She sits by my side, checking Ed’s twins’ pictures on her phone.

  Her eyes move away from the screen, her gaze swinging to the door.

  “Oh. He’s back from Europe, and he’s spending a few days here. James invited him, but we weren’t sure if he could make it,” she says as I train my eyes on David Moore.

  Smoothly, he sheds his coat before he shakes hands with James who’s already in the lobby, greeting him. They both walk into the large living room, and soon they near our end of the table.

  “You remember Eve Malone,” James says, refreshing David’s memory.

  “Yes. Of course,” he says politely.

  Rain rises to her feet and gives him a hug while I offer him my hand, and he gently squeezes it.

  The chair next to me is free, so Rain motions to him to sit by my side.

  We all take seats at the table, and soon we get swept into a casual conversation as we taste the food and sip more wine.

  It’s later in the evening, when guests gather in small groups and drink and chat while David and I sit alone on one of the couches in the living room, talking as well.

  “How is life in Monaco?” I ask, still very much intimidated by him.

  “It’s good. Different,” he says with a smooth voice, his demeanor oozing confidence and poise.

  Smoothly, he unbuttons his suit jacket and leans back in his seat.

  “Lonely?” I blurt out.

  I bite my lip.

  That’s not exactly what I wanted to ask. Or should’ve asked.

  He slides a blue gaze at me and studies me for a moment, a smile flickering in his eyes.

  “In what way?”

  There.

  That’s what happens when I can’t filter my thoughts.

  “Um... I was thinking more in terms of being away from home, not having a lot of friends. Perhaps working too much?”

  His smile broadens as I stumble my way out of the hole I dug myself into.

  “All your assumptions are correct.”

  He pauses, and I find myself talking again.

  “Have I missed anything?” I ask, smiling.

  Am I flirting with David Moore now?

  From across the room, I feel a stare that makes me swivel my head and glance at the table.

  Rain’s eyes lock mine as she flashes a knowing smile.

  Yes, I think I am.

  I clear my throat.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to pry,” I say as his answer lags.

  “No need to apologize. You are right. All the instances that you have mentioned are conducive to loneliness, but I got used to it. When you live overseas as much as I do, being lonely becomes a fact of life. I don’t think about it. Besides, I suspect that I like it. How about you? Do you feel lonely?”

  Oh, here I am. Falling into my own trap.

  A sly smile accompanies his words.

  David Moore has game.

  What did I expect? Really.

  “Sometimes. But not here. In New York.”

  “You don’t like it?” he asks as he brings his drink to his lips.

  He soaks them in his wine.

  “I do. But lately, not so much.”

  “It can wear you down.”

  “Have you lived there?”

  “Never for long,” he says, smiling amused. “But I spent enough time there to know how it feels. Besides, I used to have a house in Hamptons and spend the summers there, back when, um...”

  He pauses as if he briefly gets distracted by something before he looks at me. His eyes are soft, tinged with a smile.

  “When I was married,” he says curtly as if he just swallowed a teaspoon of bitter medicine.

  “I’m sorry,” I mutter, out of reflex, not so much to his words but the stoic expression on his face.

  “Don’t be. It was a good learning experience.”

  “Was it?” I ask, sincerely intrigued.

  “Mmm-hmm,” he says before he drinks more wine and sets his glass on a side table.

  “Everything is.”

  “And that’s why you’re a rootless nomad now.”

  His gaze swings quickly at me as if he’s taken by surprise by my unexpected insightfulness.

  His eyes spend a few moments locked with mine before he tips his gaze down and then away to the guests sitting around the table.

  “Do you feel the same way?” he mutters.

  It’s my turn to be surprised by his perceptiveness.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “That’s how you know so much about me. You must’ve experienced the same thing. Most people have no idea.”

  A blush rolls on my face.

  He tips his head to the side and flicks his gaze to me.

  “Am I right?”

  He knows that he is.

  I smile.

  “I haven’t experienced something as dramatic as marriage, but overall, I feel the same.”

  “What field are you working in?”

  “Advertising.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “My job comes with a lot of perks.”

  He arches an eyebrow, yet doesn’t comment.

  That’s not what he asked me anyway.

  “I love it for now. I love creative work. Is it everything that I want to do in this life? Probably, no. But I can’t think of anything else that I’d like to do right now. How about you?”

  “My work comes with a lot of perks too,” he says, a secret smile arching his lips.

  “I had no doubt,” I mutter, grinning flirtatiously again. “But do you like your work?”

  “I love the money,” he says matter-of-factly. “And for now, that’s my only barometer,” he adds rather coldly. “I don’t mind the loneliness. I prefer it,” he continues, his voice softening as he gives me a warm smile.

  “I wish I could say the same thing,” I reply, grinning.

  He observes me for a moment.

  “More money wouldn’t make you happier.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “Your life is probably good already, and yet you’re here with me talking about loneliness.”

  “Hmmm.”

  I bite my lip, crushing a grin before I tip my gaze down.

  “You are very direct, aren’t you?”

  “What’s the point not to be?”

  My phone buzzes just on time, saving me from making another gaffe.

  I pull it from my purse and take a peek at the screen.

  Christian: Are you still at the party?

  “Excuse me. I need to answer this,” I say to David before I swing my gaze away from him and start to type.

  Me: Yes. Are you done?

  Christian: I want to talk to you.

  Me: Can I call you in a few minutes? The party’s almost over.

  A few moments tick by as I wait for his response.

  Not surprisingly, he doesn’t answer.

  Sighing, I slip my phone back into my purse.

  David shoots a glance in the direction of my bag.

  “Friend?”

  “Yes.”

  He observes me for a few more seconds before he slides his hand into his pocket and retrieves his phone.

  “Let’s exchange phone numbers, and maybe we can talk more about this when I make a stop in New York next time.”

  My eyebrows push up in surprise.

  I do my best not to gawk at him or leave him the impression that I’ve never thought that he’d be interested in catching up with me, and casually, I slip my hand into my purse.

  “Sure.”

  Moments later, we both rise to our feet.

  He makes a beeline for the table while I look around, searching for Rain.

  I spot her in the lobby. Off I go to her.

  “What was that all about?” she asks me when Veronica, her housekeeper, pulls away from her.

  She grabs me by the elbow and nudges me into the room adjacent to James’ home office.

  “We talked,” I say, sensing the heat of a blush all over my face. “And then he asked me if I wanted to meet him in New York when he stops by next time.”

  “Oh, my.”

  Her smile beams with sheer admiration.

  “And Christian texted me while I was talking to him. What are the odds?”

  Silently, she searches my eyes.

  “Good,” she says, amused.

  “What do you mean?”

  “That’s what usually happens. One hot guy stakes his claim on you, and before you know it, there’s three.”

  “Are you talking about you or me?” I ask jokingly.

  She gestures at me, chuckling.

  “It’s been my experience, but it’s happening to you now, too. It usually does.”

  “Why?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Hmmm…. Anyway, we started to talk about him living overseas, being lonely and stuff. And then about making money and our careers. And then I saw him how he scanned me.”

  “I’ll be damned.”

  She smiles again.

  “Christian broke the bad spell you had on you, it seems.”

  “Speaking of him, I need to call him. Something tells me that he’s pissed.”

  “They always are when someone else wants something that is theirs.”

  “How can he possibly know?”

  “Beats me. They just do.”

  “He didn’t call me. He texted me. As if he didn’t want to step into something and then when I wrote him back and told him that I’d call him in a few minutes he didn’t reply.”

  “I’m not surprised,” she says, still grinning amused.

  “Is there an app that tells them when another man talks with their woman?”

  “Mmm-hmm. It’s called their dick. I swear it comes with GPS.”

  We share a peal of laughter.

  “You can go into James’ office if you want to talk to him,” she says as I take my phone out. “I’ll be in the living room.”

  15

  Eve

  Her steps resonate across the lobby before I spin around and head to James’ office.

  Slowly, I open the door and take a few steps in.

  The small reading lamp sitting on his desk spreads a faint light over the room. I set my bag on one of the leather chairs when the door swings open.

  Startled, I catapult my phone across the room as James’ voice drifts through the air.

  “Hey. I didn’t know that you were here. You okay?” he asks as he scoops my phone off the floor.

  He erases the space between us and hands me my cell before he rounds his desk and rifles through the contents of a drawer.

  The light falls on his face, prompting me to take a step back, and stumble on a chair.

  Slowly, I slide into my seat.

  He lifts his gaze as he straightens, my breath catching in my throat.

  “Everything good?” he asks again, giving me a once over, and fishing for clues.

  Stiff, I lean back.

  “Yes. I was trying to make a phone call...” I murmur, my voice trailing off as he moves away from his desk and inches closer.

  My eyes stay on his face as he stops not far from me and slides his hands into his pockets.

  “Did you have fun tonight?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.

  Mouth agape, I study his face as if I’ve never seen him before.

  A slow smile curves his lips.

  “Eve?”

  “Yes, I have,” I say abruptly, my breath too short to speak.

  He props himself against his desk.

  “Rain told me that you were thinking about moving back.”

  His words are unexpected and pull me out of my daze.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You don’t need to,” he says, smiling. “I can read the signs.”