Rolling my tongue over my lips, nerves begin pulsing through my body, and as I meet his eyes again, I let out a shaky breath. “Your mom?” I ask him. “I was curious about you, and the other night when I was at Nat’s place, I found an article that suggested you killed your mom and were discharged from the Marines with a warrant out for your arrest.”

  His face scrunches, and he sucks in a breath, probably trying to buy himself some time to work out how he’s going to explain this. “Starting with the hard stuff, huh?”

  “Sorry,” I murmur just as my phone blasts through the silence, cutting me off. I glance over to the screen, getting ready to silence it when I find a FaceTime call from Nat. “Shit,” I say, picking it up and showing him the screen. “If I don’t answer, she’s going to get worried.”

  Alex nods, and I place the tattoo gun down and quickly accept the call before it rings out. Nat’s face instantly appears on my screen, a glass of wine in her hand. “Girl, where the hell have you been?”

  “Sorry,” I say with a cringe. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Scare me? Ky, you fucking terrified me. I went to sleep with you right beside me, and when I woke up, you were gone. Like fall off the face of the earth kind of gone.”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” I say again. “I was feeling kinda off, and with everything going on, I guess I just misread all the signs. And then after you fell asleep, it just kinda hit me, and I didn’t want to get you sick too, so I went home.”

  “Just like that?” she questions. “Just packed your bags in the middle of the night and took off without even a goodbye, right after you told me that your hot-as-fuck neighbor was your stalker.”

  “I mean, I tried to say goodbye, but you were sleeping like the living dead,” I tell her, immediately feeling like shit about the lie while also trying to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to explain the whole Alex thing when he’s sitting right across from me. “As for the stalker, it turns out it was all a bit of a misunderstanding.”

  “A misunderstanding?” she grunts, not believing me for even a second.

  I spare a glance at Alex, noting how he watches me, wondering how I’m going to play this, and honestly, I don’t even know at this point. If I confirm all of my suspicions with her and tell her that everything we talked about at her apartment is true, she’ll think I’m insane. But I don’t like the idea of lying to my best friend, especially over something so huge. “Okay, so . . . maybe not so much of a misunderstanding,” I say, my brain scrambling for something to say. “I can’t really say much, but just trust that I’m okay. I’m safe and I’m happy.”

  Nat stares at me through the phone, the silence dragging on a moment too long. “You weren’t sick, were you?”

  I scrunch my face, hating how easily she can read me. “Umm . . . no.”

  “So where the hell have you been?” she demands. “Did that guy do something to you?”

  “No,” I tell her. “He did nothing that I didn’t ask for.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  I let out a heavy breath, realizing she isn’t going to be okay with any of this until she can finally start to understand. “Okay, calm down,” I tell her. “Alex kinda took me away for a few days and—”

  “You mean he kidnapped you?”

  I roll my eyes. “He didn’t kidnap me, or well . . . I suppose if you want to be technical, then yeah, maybe he kidnapped me, but I liked it,” I tell her, waiting for her to lose her mind. “He’s opening my eyes to things that I probably wouldn’t have explored on my own, and when I tell you that I trust him, I need you to really understand that. He’s not hurting me. Quite the opposite actually.”

  Nat gives me another blank stare. “What the hell is the opposite of him not hurting you?”

  Alex groans and reaches for my phone, snatching it out of my hand and turning the camera to face him. “I took Kyah away, chained her to my bed, and fucked her for three days straight,” he tells her. “Sometimes I fucked her hard and fast, sometimes it was slow. And sometimes, she was the one fucking me. Now, if you don’t mind, Kyah is trying to ink my chest, and I’m really trying to get through it without shitting my pants, so could you do me a solid and wrap this shit up?”

  Alex hands me my phone, and I turn the screen to face me, finding Nat gaping at her phone. “I umm . . . okaaaaaay.”

  “Are you good?” I ask. “That was a lot to take in.”

  “I need more wine.”

  “Okay,” I laugh. “But really, I have to go.”

  “The hell you do,” she screeches. “Do you have any idea how many questions I have now?”

  “I can imagine,” I tell her. “Are you working tomorrow night? Why don’t you come over? We can get wicked drunk at the bar across the street from my apartment and I’ll tell you everything.”

  “Okay, you’ve got yourself a deal,” she tells me. “But when you say everything, I want everything, right down to what positions he fucked you in.”

  I roll my eyes and can’t help but grin at my best friend. “I’m hanging up now,” I warn her.

  Nat groans and rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  A wide grin stretches across my face. “Love you.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” she says, and with that, ends the call.

  I let out a heavy breath, feeling as though that went just about as well as it could have gone. I mean, she’s going to drill me tomorrow night for every last sordid detail, wanting to know exactly how it all went down and how I ended up dating my stalker. Then once I’ve done that, she’s going to get me drunk on tequila, take me back to my apartment, and have me act out every last scene, but it’s fine, especially considering that there will be a crazy, obsessive stalker watching me through my security feed. Though, knowing his eyes will be on me, only makes it that much better.

  Putting my phone back down, I switch out my gloves for a new pair before settling back on my stool and picking up the tattoo gun. “Sorry,” I tell him. “She would have started to panic if she didn’t hear from me soon.”

  “It’s fine,” he tells me. “Though I was hoping to spend all of tomorrow night inside that sweet cunt of yours, but I guess it’s going to have to wait.”

  I roll my eyes and take sweet satisfaction out of the way he gasps when I press the tattoo gun back to his chest. “Weren’t you about to tell me about your mom?”

  “Shit. I was hoping you’d forgotten about that.”

  “Nope. Memory like an elephant,” I tell him. “Though, I don’t want to pry. I don’t need you to spill the dirty details. I just need to know if it’s true. Did she really die of a drug overdose when you were deployed?”

  Alex holds my stare, the silent seconds passing between us holding so much weight. “No,” he finally tells me. “She died in my arms after I tore her heart right out of her body.”

  My hand falters over his chest, and I swallow hard, my heart pounding. “Shit.”

  “Mm-hmm,” he says. “I don’t have any intentions of lying to you, Kyah. If this is going to work between us, then you need to fully understand what you’re getting yourself into, but you shouldn’t take that for granted. Don’t ask me questions if you are not prepared to know the answers.”

  “And what happens if I don’t like the answers I’m getting and decide that I can’t do this with you?”

  He presses his lips into a hard line. “If only you knew just how much of my time that question takes up,” he admits. “I honestly don’t know. I wish I were the kind of man who could just accept that you didn’t want to be with me and walk away. But then I run the risk that you would be out in the world, knowing all these things about me, and I am not sure if that’s in my best interest.”

  “You would kill me?”

  “It would be the smart thing to do, but if it really came down to it, I don’t think I’d have the strength to follow through,” he admits. “Either way, I don’t believe it will be an issue because whether you wanted to be with me or not, I would not be capable of letting you go.”

  I nod, working on his shading to help keep my mind at ease. “But you wanted to kill me, right? When you first started following me.”

  “Absolutely, I did,” he tells me in that thick, rich tone, his body tensing beneath my hands. “When I first saw you, I knew immediately that you would be my next victim. I dropped everything I was doing and followed you. I had to know everything about you, and over the next few weeks, I learned everything there was to know about Kyah Bailey. The more I learned and the closer I got, the hungrier I became. I had it all planned out so perfectly. You were going to be my most thrilling kill yet.”

  “When did it change?” I whisper, my heart pounding a million miles an hour.

  “I’m not entirely sure,” he muses, deep in thought. “Perhaps it was after I met you in the hallway and you raced me down to the laundry room. I knew then that there was something more to you, and I needed to explore it, but I suppose things really shifted after I realized just how much you got off on the fear. You excite me, Kyah. No woman has ever done that before. The ones I’ve killed in the past have been a means to an end, an object to use in order to get off. Taking their lives was a rush, but I don’t need the rush of murder with you, not anymore. I get that rush just by seeing your face in the morning, and when I slide inside of you, it’s better than any kill I’ve ever had.”

  My gaze lifts to his, and I stop what I’m doing, my hand hovering just an inch above his chest. “I don’t know what to make of that,” I tell him honestly. “There’s a part of you that terrifies me. Knowing exactly what you’re capable of and having to spend my days hoping that you won’t change your mind. But then there’s this other part that is terrified of not seeing where this goes. I should be trying to run from you.”

  Alex nods. “Yes, you should,” he agrees. “But it would really fucking gut me if you did.”

  “I think you gave me everything I didn’t know I needed. Everything I didn’t know I even wanted,” I admit. “The man I met as my neighbor makes my heart race in the best ways, and I so easily fell in love with him. You’re charming and smart, and you have this insane ability to make me smile in a way no other man has. Not to mention, that dominating side of you got me so worked up. But then there’s the man who snuck into my apartment. And yes, at first, I was terrified. I didn’t know what your intentions were, and I was scared you wanted to hurt me, but then you started to touch me, and I’d never felt so alive. And suddenly, I found myself looking forward to your visits. You give me the closeness that I need and the insanity that I crave. Despite the whole serial killer thing, you’re kinda the perfect man.”

  Alex reaches out, his fingers gently gripping my chin and holding my stare. “Only perfect for you.”

  My cheeks flush, and not knowing where to go from here, I drop my attention back to his chest, still having two very big burning questions raging inside my head. “Don’t hold back, Mace,” he says. “If there’s something you need to know. Ask me.”

  I swallow hard, and my eyes well with tears, I hastily try to blink them away, but one traitorous little tear falls and rolls down my cheek. I lift my chin and watch as he zeros in on the tear sliding down my face. “Kyah—”

  “No, I’m fine,” I say, cutting off whatever he was about to say. “I just . . . Crew and Viper. Tell me you didn’t do it.”

  Alex holds my stare, just like he had when telling me he’d killed his mom, and I know the answer before he opens his mouth. “They needed to go, Kyah,” he tells me, watching me closely, clearly choosing his words carefully. “Crew was no good for you. I was here when he hit you. I saw the way the force of his fist threw you across the room. There wasn’t even a shred of real guilt in his eyes.”

  “So that means he deserved the death penalty?”

  “No,” he says so calmly. “The deal he made with his brother did though. I wasn’t about to let that happen.”

  “That’s why you killed Mason too?”

  “Yes. He was closing in on you. I had hoped after Crew died, he would forgive his brother’s debt. However, when he showed up here, he made it clear that it was still his intention to claim you. Besides, considering what he did for a living, did I really need an excuse to end his life? He was a bastard who kidnapped vulnerable women off the street and sold them to be raped and enslaved.”

  I nod, not able to disagree one bit. “And Viper?” I ask, my hands shaking as another tear falls.

  “Viper was becoming an issue,” he says bluntly. “Just like Crew, I don’t believe you fully grasp what kind of man he was. He didn’t have your best interests at heart, and even after only knowing you a few months, I watched as he became more possessive every day. It was only a matter of time before he took you away, just like Mason wanted. Only instead of selling you to the highest bidder, he wanted to keep you for himself.”

  I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry because deep down, I think I know he’s right. Did he deserve to die for it? I really don’t know.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, hesitantly reaching out for me again, and when I don’t flinch away, he drops his hand back to my thigh, gently squeezing.

  “You killed them to protect me?” Alex nods, and I let out a heavy breath, choosing to be okay with it. “I don’t want you killing people for my sake. That can’t happen again.”

  “I can’t promise you that,” he tells me. “I can’t just turn it off. This need to kill is ingrained in who I am, and I can’t guarantee that I won’t kill again if somebody threatens you. I’m going to want to protect you the only way I know how, but I can promise that I will try.”

  I nod, realizing this is probably the best I’m going to get. “I don’t know how this is supposed to work between you and me.”

  “Trust me, baby,” he says, that cocky grin I love spreading across his face. “Neither do I, but isn’t it going to be fun working it out?”

  41

  KYAH

  After putting Nat in her Uber twenty minutes ago, I stand in my apartment with a hollowness in my chest. I haven’t seen Alex all day, and in the grand scheme of things, that isn’t very long, but I’ve gotten used to his constant presence in my life—whether it be innocent or downright fucked up.

  Usually, when I get home from work or I’m just getting up in the morning, I can look out into the hallway and find him waiting for me, but tonight is different.

  I war with myself for another twenty minutes, wondering if I should just go over there and knock on the door, but after pulling all the skeletons out of his closet last night, maybe he’s feeling differently about me now . . . Or maybe I’m just overthinking it.

  Shit. He’s told me everything I could ever need to destroy his life, and a man simply doesn’t do that for a woman he doesn’t intend to keep forever. I need to find my lady-balls and just knock on his damn door. Hell, maybe he’ll chain me to another bed, maybe even hang me from chains like he threatened he would.

  I go to make my move when the sound of an incoming call cuts through the mental battle plaguing my head, and as I glance down at my phone on the armrest of my couch, a wide smile cuts across my face.

  Hitting accept, I hold the phone to my ear. “I was just about to come visit you.”

  “Already?” Alex questions. “You home already? I could have sworn you’d be out until the bar staff were physically kicking you through the door.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” I tell him. “But Nat went a little too hard on the wet pussy shots, and when she threw up in the back alley behind the bar, I decided it was probably a good time to call it quits.”

  “No shit,” he laughs.

  “So, I take it you’re not home since you didn’t know I’d gotten in already?” I question, a little disappointed that I can’t just race across the hall and throw myself into his arms . . . or his bed.

  “Nope.”

  I drop down on my couch, pulling my comforter up. “Doing anything exciting?”

  There’s a slight pause before I hear him let out a heavy breath. “I’m trying really fucking hard to keep my promise,” he tells me.

  My brows furrow, and I sit up a little bit straighter. “What do you mean?” I question. “What promise?”

  “That I’ll try to give this whole cold-blooded killer thing a rest.”

  My eyes widen, and I suck in a gasp. “You’re . . . you’re doing that now?”

  “Trying to convince myself not to,” he admits, a real gut-wrenching pain in his tone. “I know technically I promised that I would try not to kill in order to protect you, but whether it’s to protect you or not, I know you’re not comfortable with this, so I’m fucking trying, babe. But the need is eating me alive, and the more that I stare at this cocky asshole abusing his girlfriend down by the river, the more I want to beat the shit out of him and toss him in the fucking water.”

  Fuck.

  “Babe,” he groans. “I don’t want to do this, but being with you . . . it’s like a fucking rollercoaster for my emotions. I need the kill, but I don’t want to let you down.”

  My heart starts to race, my hands shaking. The way he’s described it to me is kinda like an addiction, he can’t help himself. He needs the rush, the thrill that comes along with ending someone’s life, but then, didn’t he say he gets that same thrill when he looks at me? When he’s pushing inside of me?

  “The only way you could ever let me down is if you don’t come home and fuck me,” I say, dropping my tone to a subtle purr. “Forget about him, Alex. Come home to me.”

  “Mace—”

  “Uh-uh,” I say, cutting him off. “No excuses. I came home from the bar needing you inside of me, and now that I’m here and I’m all alone, I have this raging need that only you know how to satisfy. I need you, Alex. Come home and fuck me. I need to feel the way you slide into me, how you stretch my walls.”