He groans. “Let’s discuss your shitty relationship instead.”

  “No way,” I shriek. “You’re the one on trial here, not me. Besides, I have no issue telling Nate’s what’s up. You’re the chickenshit around here.”

  He gasps in outrage. “Fine, I’ll do it and when it all comes crashing down, you’ll be the one to blame.”

  “It won’t come crashing down because you’re going to treat her like a fucking queen, and if it does, it’s because you would have screwed it up in some other way. See, nothing to do with me.”

  “All to do with you,” he defends. “You’re the idiot convincing me it’s a good idea.”

  “Because it is a good idea,” I fire back.

  He lets out a big huff before looking over at me. “Ok, I lied,” he says, making my eyes narrow on him. “It’s more than just chickening out like a little bitch. I nearly shit my pants. My hands were sweaty. I couldn’t breathe. I swear, Tora, I don’t have these problems when it comes to girls.”

  I press my lips together, forcing myself not to laugh at him again as he pulls into the student parking lot of Broken Hill High. My poor little guy. He’s like a lost puppy that you can’t help but love. “Ok, this is what you’re going to do,” I tell him as he drives straight to the top of the lot to where everyone always leaves a space for him and Nate. “You’re going to march your ass right in there and show her that Jesse Ryder is the man. You’re going to lock eyes with her and let her know exactly what you want. Then you grab her by the waist and slam her up against the wall, without giving her a concussion, of course,” I laugh. “You hold both her wrists in one hand above your head and slide your knee between her legs, and when you have her complete, undivided attention, you kiss her like she’s never been kissed in her life. It’s going to be so good that all the girls are going to be jealous and all the guys are going to come in their pants. Then you tell her, not ask, you tell her she’s your girl and she’ll be putty in your hands.”

  “You’re shitting me, right?” he grunts. “She’s going to fucking slap me.”

  “Trust me. It’s in all the romance books.”

  Jesse shakes his head as he brings his car to a stop in his unofficial designated parking space. “Oh, get fucked,” he grumbles under his breath. I look up out the windscreen to find Phoenix Reilly waiting for us.

  “What the hell does she want now?” I groan.

  I grab my bag and my still scalding coffee and nearly stumble right out of the car. I right myself, pleased that Phoenix’s attention is solely on Jess. Though that’s a good thing for me, it’s certainly not for him.

  Jess and I walk forward around the front of the car and Phoenix naturally steps right in our way. “What do you want?” Jesse grunts, looking down at her in distaste.

  “I think it’s time we bury the hatchet and move on,” she says, way too perky for this time of the morning. “You’re my brother and I’d like to get to know you and Nate better. After all, we are family.”

  Jesse scoffs and steps around her. “Never going to happen,” he says, walking away. I hear his laughter following behind him as he walks towards the junior hallway and I can’t help but laugh too. I mean, is she kidding? No way in hell are either Nate or Jesse going to give her even the slightest chance in hell at getting to know them. She drowned her chances long ago.

  “Don’t forget,” I call after him, ignoring Phoenix who is fuming at his back and turning an awful shade of red. I step around the psycho bitch and head up to the front of the school. “You’re the man, Jesse Ryder. Be the man.”

  Jesse looks back over his shoulder, grins, and winks. A second later, he’s tackled by his friends and lost to the world for the rest of the day. I make my way up to the senior hallway with Phoenix storming past me in her pissed off haste and can’t help but notice a certain bad boy, leaning up against the side of the building with a cigarette between his fingers.

  Damn, I hate those stupid cigarettes, but match them with the leather jacket and the bad boy demeanour, and I melt. He’s so ridiculously hot. It’s as though he was put on this earth for the sole purpose of torturing me.

  His eyes find mine at the same second and I want nothing more than to run into his arms and tell him I take it all back. God, I’m so weak. Why can’t I be like one of those Amazonian women who are tough as shit and don’t take crap from anyone, while looking hot as hell in the process? That’s what I need, not this stupid high school bullshit.

  That settles it. I’m leaving and becoming Wonder Woman. Move over Gal Gadot, I’m stepping in.

  I let out a breath and pull up my big girl panties. I can handle this. I just need to walk straight past him without becoming a slobbering mess and throwing myself at him. Just one step after another.

  I concentrate with every ounce of my will power and eventually get myself through the front doors of Broken Hill High. “What’s up with you?” Brooke asks as I get to my locker. “You look constipated.”

  "Shut up,” I laugh. "I was busy concentrating at not throwing myself at Nate.”

  “Oh, and how did that go for you?”

  “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “Hardly,” she scoffs. “Did I hear a rumor that your tires got slashed yesterday?”

  “Yes,” I groan. “That reminds me. You and me; we need to figure out who the hell went near my baby and had the nerve to hurt her, then we’re going to put the fucker down.”

  A grin rips across Brooke’s face. “You’re on.” The bell rings and Brooke scrunches up her face. “Ok, you’re on at lunch.”

  I tap my fingers together like Mr. Burns. “Excellent.”

  Lunch comes and goes and by the end of the day, we’ve got nothing. I walk down to the student parking lot with Brooke and Elle. “We suck,” Brooke tells me. “Remind me to never become a cop. I can’t to this detectivering… detecting… detective… fuck. What’s the word?”

  I think it over. “Detec…. Oh, I don’t know,” I laugh. “I know what you’re trying to say, though.”

  Elle sighs. “It’s not like anyone is going to openly admit it. You guys aren’t Nate and Jess and believe me, they’re not good detectives either, they just have the fear factor to go with it.”

  “I know,” I tell her. “But I kind of hoped they-”

  “Hey,” I hear from behind us. I look over my shoulder to see Jess catching up with us. “You coming with me?”

  I look back at Brooke. “Nah, I’ll go with Brooke,” I tell him. “We have some detectivering to do.”

  “What?” he grunts.

  “Nothing. See you later.”

  He nods and heads towards his car, still as confused as ever.

  Brooke and I talk with Elle for a while before we realize that most of the students have already gone and the parking lot is practically a ghost town. Elle gets going and we walk over to Brooke’s car.

  We’re just about there when Ashley Samuels steps in my way. I rear back. I haven’t spoken to Ashley since the party where it came out that Nate and I were maybe a little something more than we were letting on. She was his freshly made ex-girlfriend at the time and had a few things to say to me, none of them very nice… at all. But it’s ok, I put the bitch in her place.

  Since then, I’ve had absolutely nothing to do with her. I mean, apart from the glaring across the room. Or well, that’s what I thought until we discovered that she was responsible for setting the fire that nearly killed both me and Nate.

  “Well, if it isn’t Nate’s sloppy seconds,” she grins, looking as proud as anything.

  “What do you want?” I grunt, wanting nothing more than to beat the living shit out of this dirty swamp turd. I mean, she set the fucking boat shed on fire. Who the hell does shit like that? We nearly died. But it’s not like I can say anything about it. Nate wants revenge and if she has even the slightest inkling that we know, his plan won’t work nearly as well, whatever that plan may be. All I know is that we’ve known for ages and she’s still walking around thinking she got away with murder, which is way too long for me. If Nate doesn’t do something soon, I’ll be taking shit into my own hands.

  Her grin widens as she props a hand on her skinny hip before jutting it out. “You’re pathetic,” she laughs. “But it’s nice to see you got what you deserved. He never wanted you anyway.”

  I can’t help but laugh at her. “You don’t know a damn thing about me and Nate.”

  “I know that he’s done with you,” she says. “Everyone sees you moping around, pining for the guy that’s done with you. It’s so obvious that it’s funny. You look so fucking pathetic. It will never get old.”

  “What do you want?” I repeat a little more sternly.

  “Oh, nothing,” she says, stepping closer to get in my face. She lowers her voice, trying to appear intimidating. “Just came to remind you that you’re nothing. Nate is finished with you and now that the most popular guy in school has decided you’re worthless, nobody else will ever want you. You’re done here and now that he’s put out the trash, I can get my man back.”

  I see red. How dare she? After everything she has put us through, she has the nerve to get in my face like that. Nu-uh. Not here. Not now. Besides, if living with Nate and Jesse for two months taught me anything, it’s to handle shit with my fists.

  “Nate wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole,” I tell her as I step into her, forcing her back a step. “I took you down once before. Don’t think I won’t do it again.”

  “Tora,” Brooke warns beside me, tugging on my elbow. “Let’s go.”

  I ignore her to continue glaring at Ashley. I’m more than ready to go and if she doesn’t back down now, she’s mine.

  Luckily for her, she scoffs in my face and steps away. She turns her back as though she’s so damn important and walks away. “Oh,” she says looking back over her shoulder as a sick grin takes over her slimy face. “It’s a damn shame about your car.”

  “You little bitch,” I yell as my hands ball into fists. “You did it.”

  “Prove it,” she laughs. She turns back and walks away with a strut that grates on my every nerve and I physically can’t hold back any longer.

  I run for her. I take three big strides before my hand flies out before me. I launch myself at her back and the bitch goes down like a sack of shit. She squeals out as she smacks down into the grass and I’m pretty sure I’m screaming too. I couldn’t be too sure but my throat’s hurting.

  “Get off me,” she squeals, desperately trying to buck me off while reaching around and clawing at me. She draws blood as I grab fists full of hair. I don’t even know what I’m screaming out but I know I’ve never quite lost control like this.

  Is she right? Is Nate done with me? Am I worthless? I don’t know, but what I do know is that two months ago he broke it off and things have never been the same.

  People start running at us but I can’t stop, not until an arm is wound around my waist and I’m physically hauled off the bitch. I fight and claw at the arm that’s got me, desperate to teach Ashley a lesson.

  Brooke steps into my field of vision, right up in my face. “Snap out of it,” she demands. When I don’t stop, she splashes her bottle of water over my face.

  I gasp out, finally focusing on her. “What the fuck was that?” I yell at Brooke.

  Sensing that I’ve stopped, for now, the arm around my waist loosens and my feet land firmly on the ground. I turn around to see B-Man, one of the football players that I don’t really know, and he grunts before walking away. Behind him, I see Principal Watkins hurrying down to the parking lot and saying he’s not happy would be a major understatement.

  “You,” he demands, pointing at me before turning on Ashley. “And you. My office. NOW.”

  “Shit,” Brooke murmurs beside me. “You’re fucked.” I shrug my shoulders, not giving a shit. Like Ashley so kindly pointed out, I’ve already lost Nate, what else do I have to lose? “Text me,” she says as I step back towards the school.

  “K,” I mutter.

  I get up to his office and an hour later, I’m escorted out by my very pissed off mother and my second suspension in my whole high school career. Only this time, mom didn’t give a shit about fighting for a lesser charge.

  Chapter 5

  Mom slams her way through the front door of our home and I’ve never seen her so pissed off in my life. “What the hell was that?” she demands, turning on me before we’ve even gotten into the foyer. “I thought I could trust you to act like a decent human being. Instead, you’re throwing yourself at girls in the parking lot.”

  “I-”

  “I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t want to hear what she said. I don’t care if she was nasty. I don’t want to know if she made you feel small. I trusted you not to use violence, and now this is the second time it’s happened,” she yells. “I’ve never been so disgusted with your actions. I’m appalled, Tora. I thought I raised you right.”

  “She slashed my tires,” I yell back.

  “Then you should have brought it to the school’s attention, not slammed the girl into the ground and ripped out chunks of her hair. You’re not an animal and I certainly didn’t raise you that way. Maybe your father was right. Maybe breaking up with Nathaniel was the right thing to do because I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

  I gasp at her words. Nothing in this world has ever stung more.

  “What are you going to do about college, huh? They see their new shining star has two suspensions in the space of a few months, they’re not going to want you. Was pulling out chunks of hair worth your future?”

  I hold my tongue as I glare at my mother. Doesn’t she understand what I’ve been going through?

  “Answer me,” Mom demands. “Was it worth it?”

  I can’t.

  I run for the stairs as my emotions overtake me. Anger. Sadness. Fury. Heartache. All I know is that if I were to stay in the foyer, I would have said something to my mother that I’d regret.

  “Don’t even think about leaving this house,” she hollers after me. “You’re grounded for the rest of your life.”

  I slam the door on my bedroom with everything I’ve got and crash down into my bed. I bury my head into my pillow and scream until every last ounce of rage has left me, right until I’m left with nothing but devastation. Devastation over my actions, devastation over the words that shouldn’t have gotten to me, and devastation over the fact that I’ve possibly just thrown away the future Nate has been trying so hard to protect.

  As I lay on my bed with tears streaming down my face, it hits me. I’m suspended. Again. Only this time, it’s a real suspension, not the bullshit in school ones, but a true suspension that I have no doubt Broken Hill University will be hearing about. I can only imagine what they’ll do when they see this is my second one for violence. What would they think of me?

  Mom is right. I’m appalling.

  I lay in my bed for hours. Mom doesn’t come to get me for dinner and I don’t bother searching it out. I don’t find my Kindle and I don’t flick on the TV. I just lay here, wishing things could be different. Wishing I was stronger. Better.

  The house goes quiet and the light under my door eventually turns off, letting me know mom has gone to bed for the night. I roll over and find my phone. It’s after ten at night and there’s a few missed calls and texts from Brooke, but I’ll deal with that tomorrow. I’m not particularly in the mood to tell her what a disgrace I am. In fact, I’ve never been so embarrassed, yet I still want to go back and kick Ashley’s ass.

  For the first time since getting home, I get up off my bed and trudge into the bathroom. I pee, throw my hair up into a bun, and splash water over my face. My eyes are puffy and my throat is sore from all the screaming and yelling. Yet all I know is that I don’t want to be alone.

  I walk out into my room and through to my closet. I grab a hoodie and sweat pants before slipping on some shoes. It’s spring but there’s still a chill to the air, especially at night, and without a car, I’ll be walking.

  It’s probably not the brightest idea I’ve ever had but it’s the only one I got, you know, apart from staying here.

  I grab my phone off my bed and slip in into my pocket before going to the window. I slide it open and a second later, I climb out. I’ve never crawled out of my own window before. I mean, I’ve climbed out of Jesse’s a handful of times with the boys, but never alone.

  I make my way to the edge and try to figure out the best place to climb down. Nate climbs up here all the time, well, he used to, and I still haven’t worked out how the hell he does it. Shit, what am I thinking? I should just go back to my bed and go to sleep like a good girl.

  Fuck it. I’m already in trouble, I might as well make it count.

  Or… I should go inside and walk out the front door like a normal person, but then I risk getting caught.

  Damn it.

  I suck it up. It’s either now or never.

  I bend down until my ass is planted firmly on the roof. I roll onto my stomach and push my legs off the side. I keep going until my hands are clutching onto the gutter and the rest of my body is hanging. I have no choice but to let go. It’s only a small drop from here and I have a snowball’s chance in hell of pulling myself back up.

  I let out a breath and drop.

  I land on my feet with a wobble before tumbling down into the grass. That wasn’t too bad.

  I get up and dust myself off. Now it’s time to walk.

  It takes me nearly twenty minutes to get to their place. I somehow manage to climb the massive gate and make my way up the long driveway before walking round to Jesse’s window and looking up. My eyes continue to hurt and my body is completely taken over by shivers. My fingertips are freezing and the chill on my skin is nearly enough to drive me crazy.

  I haul myself up a pillar and onto the roof before scrambling around to Jesse’s window. I slide it open and scare the absolute shit out of him as I drop down into the room that smells like a bad mix of dirty socks and wet fart. “What the fuck are you doing?” he grunts, leaning over and flicking on his bedside lamp.