“I’m impressed.” She looked across the street ahead and saw a grouping of small cabins. And she counted six men sitting in lawn chairs around a fire pit. “Do your trainees stay in the cabins?”

  He nodded. “We have a small class of deputies right now.”

  “And where do you live?”

  “There’s another section of cabins ahead for staff.” He looked at her. “You can either stay in one of the guest cabins or you can bunk with me. I mean…not with me. In my bedroom. I’ll take the couch.”

  Right. His place. She wanted to see where he lived. Wanted him close by. Sure, she was safe in the compound, even more so with these deputies next door, but she didn’t want to be alone tonight. “I’ll stay with you, if you don’t mind.”

  He didn’t answer but his mouth quirked up, and she knew he didn’t mind in the least.

  He gestured at the buildings. “I don’t see your bag sitting by a cabin so it looks like Alex already figured that’s what we’d be doing.”

  “He knows about us, right?”

  “Kind of. A little anyway.”

  “About Alison.”

  Jackson shook his head. “No one knows about her. Not even Gage, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

  She understood. Her guilt kept her from talking about Alison with other people, too, and she wasn’t about to share that personal information with the team members, who—though she liked—were nearly strangers.

  “No worries,” she said. “I won’t say anything.”

  He gave a clipped nod. “We’ve got another klick or so to go.”

  She nodded, and now eager to end this walk and get some sleep, she sped up. Jackson kept pace with her and didn’t say a word until they approached a grouping of larger cabins, each of them constructed in a unique style.

  “We designed and built our own cabins,” he said as if reading her mind. “Mine’s the third one on the left.”

  She turned to look, but her focus landed on the first one, an A-framed cabin with a massive picture window in the front, the moon casting a bright glow on the roof. Lights flickered through the window. She assumed it was a TV, and it was a good chance the place belonged to Alex. Plus, the utility vehicle was parked out front, too. Next door was a cabin made of logs with a front porch and a small bicycle out front—most likely Eryn lived there.

  She moved on to the next place, Jackson’s home, a contemporary square box with stairs leading up the side to what she had to assume was a rooftop deck. Thin slatted siding ran horizontally across the building and big sliding doors served as his front door.

  “I like your place,” she said. “It’s practical looking, like you.”

  He quirked an eyebrow. “I’m practical looking?”

  “No, you’re gorgeous, but your personality has a practical bent to it. You’re no-nonsense and sensible.” She couldn’t believe she told him he was gorgeous but resisted the urge to clamp a hand over her mouth.

  “Practical, except when it comes to you.” He locked gazes. “I wasn’t very sensible at all and ruined things for us by taking off.”

  “We both had a part in that.”

  He shrugged and grabbed their bags from the utility vehicle. He slid open his front door and flipped on a light revealing contemporary furniture in muted colors. Comfy, practical furniture just as she’d described him. He set her bag down and reached behind her to close the door. She caught a hint of lingering minty soap and the scent made her even more aware of him as a man.

  He set down the bags. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Water would be good, but I can get it if you tell me where the glasses are.”

  “Third cabinet on the right. I’ll go ahead and change the sheets while you get it.”

  “I don’t want to put you out. Why don’t I sleep on the couch?”

  “You know I’d never let you do that.”

  “I know, but I had to offer.” She grinned at him.

  His mouth lifted in a playful smile, and his eyes sparkled with humor. She felt his reaction right to her bones. Felt their old life, the time before their loss, rising up and replacing the sadness and pain.

  She moved closer to him, and though she knew she would regret asking a personal question, she needed to know the answer. “Do you think it would be possible for us to be happy together again?”

  He didn’t respond at first but ran a hand over his face. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve felt a hint of it these last few days. So maybe. But it doesn’t matter, does it?”

  “No, I suppose not.”

  He gave a resigned nod and turned. “I’ll be right back.”

  She watched him take his usual long strides across the dark wood floors of his home. His home. She was in Jackson’s home. Over the years, she often wondered what had become of him. Where he was living. If she would ever run into him again. But he was from Florida, and with an entire country sitting between them, she always doubted they would cross paths.

  The odds were so long that they’d meet again, and yet, here they were. Not only crossing paths, but she was spending the night at his place. Had God brought them back together? She could ask God, she supposed. If her relationship with Him was on solid ground.

  She changed her focus to Jackson’s place, taking a better look at the large living space. He was a minimalist for sure. His furniture was of good quality, most of the wood pieces made of warm teak. A sleek fireplace filled one wall, a modest-sized television mounted above. She turned to the kitchen with natural wood cabinets. The doors were flat panels without handles. She pressed on the third cabinet and it opened as she thought it might.

  She grabbed a glass and filled it from the sink. She drank the entire glass and refilled it. Then she got one for Jackson, set them on coasters in the living area, and went to find him. He was bent over his sleek platform bed spreading out a blanket. The bed was lacquered a light gray color and had glossy metal feet. Two nightstands matched the bed.

  “I like your furniture choices,” she said.

  He shot upright.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “I’m not used to having people here.”

  “No girlfriend.”

  “No.” He went back to the blanket.

  She should look away, but she liked seeing the arch of his trim body as he bent over the bed. He wore his clothes so well, as if they were custom tailored to fit him, and he exuded such a manly vibe that seeing him making a bed made her giggle.

  “What?” He glanced over his shoulder.

  “You. Engaged in domestic chores.”

  He tucked in the final corner and stood to look at her. “Why’s that funny?”

  “You’re this big hunk of a guy, and you look like you’re more at home on a battlefield than making a bed.”

  “You’d be surprised at how domesticated I’ve become.”

  She laughed again.

  “Now what?”

  “I’m imagining you with an apron and feather duster.”

  “Is that so.” He smiled, wide and tantalizing as he crossed toward her.

  She knew she should back up. Run the other way, but she was locked in his gaze and couldn’t move.

  He stopped inches away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. “Now what are you imagining?”

  “You kissing me,” she said on a breath.

  “Do you want me to?”

  Unable to say the word, she nodded.

  He didn’t take his eyes from her but slid his hand around her waist, his touch igniting delicious waves of emotions. He pulled her to him and held her gaze. Slowly, ever so slowly, he lowered his head, and when she thought he would never get to that kiss, his lips touched hers.

  She was instantly catapulted back in time, and she forgot all their emotional baggage, all their pain, and she cupped the back of his head to draw him closer. He deepened the kiss, and it felt like she found her way home at long last and couldn’t get enough of him. Enough of the feelings warming her heart and erasing any lingering pain.

  He drew her even closer and ran his hands over her back. She was lost in the feel of him. Helplessly lost and she wouldn’t end this kiss for anything. Didn’t want it to end for anything.

  His phone rang from his pocket, and he jerked back. His heavy-lidded gaze met hers, and he shook his head before he stepped away to answer his phone.

  She gulped in a long breath and blew it out but didn’t take her focus off him. He clamped a hand on the back of his neck. She knew that move as well as she knew him. He was frustrated.

  “What time?” His long fingers kneaded his neck. “Yeah, thanks. We’ll be there.”

  He turned and shoved his phone into his pocket. “That was Gage. Breakfast is at seven so we should turn in and get some sleep.” He gazed at her longingly before turning around. “I’ll grab your bag.”

  He headed for the door, not a word about the kiss. It seemed all they could share was a kiss and regrets.

  12

  The next morning, Hannah and Gage answered the door arm in arm, and Maggie couldn’t help but think how adorable they were. If you could call a guy built like a mountain “adorable.” But their obvious love for each other left Maggie feeling even more devastated than last night.

  She had to admit whenever she pictured herself with a husband, it was always Jackson who came to mind. But this morning, he was cool and reserved. All business. She could chalk it up to having breakfast with his boss, but he acted the same way at his place, too. Bidding her good morning then quickly racing past her to shower and get ready for the day while she drank a cup of coffee. Not uttering even one word on the drive over. Whatever the reason, they weren’t in a good place this morning and it hurt.

  Or maybe she knew the reason and just didn’t want to admit it. The past was just too large of an obstacle to allow them a future.

  Small footsteps came running down the hallway taking her attention. A good-looking young boy slammed into Gage’s side and threw his arms around him. A girl dressed in pink shorts and a bubble gum striped T-shirt tried to keep up with him, but her gait was awkward, and she fell behind. When she did reach them, she took one look at Maggie, clutched Hannah’s hand, and quickly hid behind her.

  Hannah picked the child up. “This is Mia.”

  The child laid her curly pigtailed head on Hannah’s shoulder. “Mia, say hello to Maggie. She’s Jackson’s friend.”

  “Hi,” she said but seemed to snuggle closer to Hannah.

  “Hey, kiddo,” Jackson said.

  He got a cute little smile and a ‘hi’ in return.

  “Let’s all take a seat at the table, and I’ll get the food,” Hannah said.

  “Can I help?” Maggie asked.

  Gage rested a hand on his wife’s shoulder “I’ve got it. You sit.”

  She beamed a smile up at him, and he kissed her forehead.

  Yeah, they were a happy couple all right, and they proved it all through breakfast. When they’d consumed the last of the spinach quiche, fresh fruit, and ham, Gage pushed back his chair and looked at Jackson. He clearly wanted to talk to his boss, likely about Scott, but she doubted he would do so with the kids at the table.

  “Can we go play?” David asked.

  “After you clear your dishes,” Gage replied.

  Both children got up, picked up their dishes, and headed for the kitchen. Maggie watched them go. David left the room without incident, but Mia stumbled, and the silverware on her plate rattled. She was a clumsy little thing, but oh, so adorable. Maggie turned her focus back to the others and caught Gage carefully watching her, a very intimidating look on his face.

  Hannah didn’t seem to notice but pushed to her feet. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll clear the table and get you all more coffee.”

  “Let me help clear,” Maggie offered.

  “That’s not necessary. You’re our guest.”

  “I have the feeling these guys want to talk anyway.” Maggie grabbed Jackson’s plate and stacked it and his silverware on hers.

  “Thanks.” He looked up at her, but his blank expression kept her from getting even a hint of his thoughts.

  She carried the dishes into the kitchen, set them on a large island and returned for others. Together, she and Hannah cleared the table in minutes and were alone together in the kitchen.

  “Would you like another cup of coffee?” Hannah asked.

  Maggie nodded.

  Hannah gestured at the stools near the island. “Have a seat, and I’ll grab the pot.”

  Maggie sat and checked out the homey kitchen. White cabinets and quartz countertops plus stainless-steel appliances could make the room look cold, but Hannah warmed it up with rich red accents.

  She returned with the pot. “So you and Jackson go way back.”

  Maggie nodded.

  “Did you date long?” Hannah probed.

  “Three years.”

  “And the breakup? Was it amicable?”

  Maggie didn’t want to answer. Not only because she didn’t know Hannah, but because she didn’t think Jackson would want her to.

  “I’ll take your silence to mean it wasn’t that pleasant.”

  Maggie opened her mouth to reply, but Hannah held up her hand. “It’s really none of my business, but I thought we might have that in common. Gage and I had an earlier relationship, too. We split up because I wanted a deeper commitment, and he wasn’t ready. I didn’t handle it well. Gave him an ultimatum. Commit or we were through. He took off.”

  “He left you?”

  “Yes, with no explanation.” Hannah sighed. “I can tell you I was hurt big time. Took me ten years to forgive him.”

  Maggie cupped her warm mug. “But obviously you did.”

  “Yes, but it wasn’t easy. I had to figure out that I was partly to blame by giving him that ultimatum. I should’ve taken what he had to offer at the time and allowed him time to figure out what he wanted.”

  “I can totally understand that.” Maggie sipped the rich coffee.

  Hannah filled her mug. “So something similar happened with Jackson?”

  “Similar?” She thought about it. “No. It was worse. Much worse.”

  Hannah’s eyebrow rose, but she didn’t say anything. She was waiting for Maggie to explain, but she promised Jackson she wouldn’t mention Alison to anyone.

  Hannah kept looking at her. She took another sip of the coffee and then another.

  “Are you a woman of faith?” she finally asked.

  Glad to have the subject changed, Maggie nodded. “Though honestly I haven’t really trusted God since Jackson and I broke up.”

  “Oh, I get that. I was married before Gage. My husband died. I was so upset at God for the longest time, even though I know God didn’t cause his death. It just cut so deeply, you know?”

  “Yes,” Maggie replied, the subject so close to her feelings on Alison it was almost frightening.

  “I spent years asking God why. Demanding an explanation.” She poured cream into her cup and stirred, a faraway look on her face. “It took Gage to teach me that God doesn’t promise to explain everything to us. Sometimes we get answers, most of the time we don’t. We just have to keep moving forward and trust that God can see further ahead than we can. And that He has our best interest at heart, and it will all end up good for us.”

  Maggie’s heart constricted. “I can’t see that. Not at all.”

  “Maybe you’re not there yet. I mean, I don’t know what happened with you two, but even if there isn’t a physical loss of a partner like Nick, the loss of a relationship involves grief. Grief has many stages to overcome. Takes some of us longer than others to work through it.”

  Maggie set down her cup. “But it sounds like you have, and you’ve gotten used to the loss.”

  “Gotten used to it?” Hannah shook her head hard. “No, you never get used to losing someone you love so deeply, but you learn how to cope. Memories still come flooding back at the oddest times, and you have to consciously remember that God will work it all for good. I don’t know how people without faith survive such a thing.”

  Hannah placed her hand on Maggie’s and locked gazes with her. “God always gets it right. When we worry or question Him, it’s like we think He’s gotten it wrong.”

  Maggie sat there stunned. It was as if Hannah had taken the words right out of her mouth. She felt so alone after losing Alison and Jackson, but now she could see that God had actually been there with her the whole time. If not, she couldn’t have been questioning Him. Oh, man. He was there all along, and she did nothing but distrust him and let anxiety get the best of her.

  “Thank you,” Maggie said, vowing to give this conversation some additional thought. “Your words helped a lot.”

  “I’m glad.” Hannah lifted her hand and smiled. “I’ll tell you a secret. I’m so incredibly happy with Gage and our little family that I want everyone on the team to feel the same way. So I’ve become the team busybody. Butting into their lives. Trying to do some matchmaking. One of these days one of them is going to tell me to mind my own business.” She chuckled.

  Maggie laughed along with her, and knew if she ever ended up living here that Hannah would be a good friend.

  Mia came running into the room in her different gait. “Can David and I watch Veggie Tales?”

  “Of course,” Hannah said.

  “Yippee.” Mia tottered off.

  Maggie’s thoughts turned to Alison and the same sadness crept to the surface. She thought about her talk with Hannah. This woman, this Godly woman across the island was filled with joy and such hope even after losing her husband. She found a way through the loss and made a good life for herself. Maggie wanted that. She’d been without hope in her life for far too long, a mere shell of a person, not really living.

  Maybe it was time to pray again and believe God had something good in store for her. Depending on herself had accomplished nothing, so why not listen to Hannah and try talking to God again?

  She closed her eyes, feeling so uncomfortable with the thought of praying after all these years that she had to search hard for words.