Mia looked up at her. “Can I eat some?”

  “Of course.” Maggie ruffled the sweet child’s curls, and the pain lessened. Maggie found that she could interact with Mia without that intense anguish that often made her double over. Sure, the pain was there. It would always be, but it felt more manageable today.

  Was it the hope? Was it turning back to God? Was it loving Jackson again, because she had to admit she was in love with him. She couldn’t do anything about the feeling, but it was there in her heart.

  Between two trellises of peas, she found lettuce growing happily in the shade. She plucked green, red, and purple leaves before moving over to the plump red sun-loving tomatoes. Her tote was getting full, but on the way back to Mia, Maggie grabbed a cucumber. A salad, and any peas that survived Mia’s picking, would go well with the salmon.

  Maggie sat down on the edge of the garden box to watch Mia open a pea pod and expertly dislodge peas into her mouth. She chewed thoroughly and smiled at Maggie. “Mama says since I love peas, she’s going to grow a whole trellis of them just for me next year.”

  “She seems like a wonderful mother.”

  Mia frowned, not at all the reaction Maggie expected.

  “I love her. She’s so nice, but I still miss my real mom. She’s in heaven with God. Mama, that’s what I call my new mom, says it’s okay if I still miss my mom. She says I always will.”

  Maggie’s heart clutched at the thought of this adorable child having to live through the loss of a parent. “Your mama’s right. My mother’s been in heaven for a lot of years, and I still miss her, too.”

  Mia gave a serious nod, but then she spied a large pea pod, and her sorrow vanished as she plucked it free and expertly emptied the pod.

  Maggie couldn’t let the sorrow go quite as quickly. Was she fooling herself to think she could move forward? Find a future with Jackson? Hopefully, their conversation tonight would help her understand that.

  “Now, how about we get these peas inside?” she said. “I need to get started on Jackson’s dinner.”

  She nodded and picked up the bowl. “I like Jackson.”

  “Me too.”

  “But you really like him.” Mia giggled.

  Maggie didn’t want to encourage Mia, but she couldn’t hold her laughter in and giggled right along with the little girl, loving the feel of the simple pleasure of having fun again. Her phone rang, and at the sight of Nate’s name on her screen, her laughter evaporated.

  “You know,” Maggie said to Mia. “Jackson’s kind of a big guy, and he eats a lot. Go ahead and pick more peas while I answer this call.”

  She stepped out of earshot. “Nate.”

  “We hit the jackpot in CODIS,” he said. “The DNA profile matched an Andre Gamblin.”

  Gamblin. She didn’t recognize his name, and he wasn’t one of the missing men. So who was he? “If he’s in CODIS, he’s either suspected of a crime or a victim of one.”

  “Convicted felon.”

  Maggie stifled a gasp. “What did he do?”

  “He went away for obstructing an investigation, and as an accessory to rape.” Nate paused and drew in a long breath. “His brother Ozzie raped a woman. Andre sat by and did nothing to stop it and even helped cover it up. Ozzie’s still in prison, but Andre got out a few weeks ago.”

  “And now someone killed him,” Maggie said making sure to keep her voice down. “Do you think it’s related to the rape?”

  “Could be. Hopefully the homeowners can shed some light on why he was on their property. They’re back in town, and I’m scheduled to interview them in an hour. Until then, I have my detectives running a background check on both of the Gamblin brothers.”

  “Thanks for letting me know. And keep me updated if you can.”

  “Will do.”

  Maggie disconnected and stood still for a moment, thinking about the victim. He was a felon—a convicted felon. But just because he’d done something terrible, she shouldn’t feel any less inclined to help find his killer. She wished it was that simple. Deep down she suspected she held some prejudice against the man who covered up a rape. Which meant if Nate needed her help to find the killer, she’d do even more to help to compensate for her emotions.

  She stowed her phone and put the murder out of her mind so when she reached Mia again she could smile at the child. Not that it was difficult to find a smile when she found the little imp sitting near a pile of empty pods, contentment on her face.

  Maggie hoped she hadn’t eaten too many peas and got a stomachache. “I think it’s time for us to go back inside.”

  Mia grabbed her bowl and skipped toward the door. How wonderful it would be to have a child’s perspective on life again. To be this carefree. Yet, even as a child, Mia already endured her share of tragedies. But she lived happily in the moment, and Maggie vowed to live more like Mia going forward.

  Back inside, Hannah had lined up the marinade ingredients on the countertop along with a boxed rice dish. “Anything I can help with?”

  “I’ll need a zipper bag for the marinade and some measuring cups.”

  Hannah pulled out a drawer. “Cups are here, and I’ll grab a bag.”

  Maggie took a bowl from the shelf and made quick work of mixing all the ingredients in the marinade. Thankfully, she cooked salmon often enough that she remembered the proportions. She took the bag from Hannah, poured the teriyaki marinade inside, and added the fresh pink filet.

  Hannah looked across the island at her. “That’s it, huh? Seems easy enough.”

  “And it’s really tasty on the grill.” Maggie zipped the bag closed.

  “You’ll have to give me this recipe.”

  “Glad to.” She smiled at Hannah. “I should get going and get that salad ready before Jackson gets back.”

  Hannah helped her load everything into the tote with the fresh veggies and looked at her over the top. “We could do this all the time, you know. You and me cooking and sharing. If you’d consider my idea.”

  Maggie smiled at Hannah but didn’t want to mislead her. “It sounds wonderful, but Jackson and I aren’t in a place for a relationship, and I don’t know if we ever will be.”

  Hannah frowned. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Maggie shook her head.

  “Then I’ll pray that everything works out between you.” Hannah scooped Maggie into her arms for a quick hug.

  Maggie wished she could talk to her new friend about Alison. She would be a great help in working through grief. Maggie didn’t have to know her any better to know she was just that kind of woman.

  Maggie pushed free before she got comfortable with the amazing woman’s support and told her about Alison. She grabbed the tote and drove Jackson’s truck down the winding road to his cabin. She felt so natural driving his vehicle and stepping into his home. How could that be when she’d been here for such a short time? Been in Jackson’s company again for such a short time, too?

  She clicked on a music station on his TV to distract her traitorous brain. Humming along with the songs, she prepared the salad, shelled the peas, and rushed up to his deck to see if it held a table and chairs for dining. She was overjoyed to see it did and could easily imagine dining with him up there. If the clouds passed over, they would be sitting under a sky blanketed with stars. A perfect, relaxing location to talk to him.

  She raced downstairs to the bedroom to change her shirt, run a comb through her hair, and freshen up her makeup. She put the mascara tube back in her travel bag just as a chopper sounded in the distance.

  Her stomach filled with butterflies, the lighthearted flutter a welcome feeling to the years of dread and sadness. She grabbed his keys and was soon driving past their small town. With her heart changing, it felt like years passed since she walked this stretch of road with Jackson. She felt the force of the helicopter’s rotors above before she reached the heliport and arrived to see it touch down.

  She shifted into park and stared at the door, willing it to open. When it finally did and Jackson stepped down, the butterflies took flight in her stomach again. He was wearing a wetsuit, the top folded down around his waist, a body hugging T-shirt underneath displaying his sculpted muscles. He really was a fine-looking man. And a wonderful man. Watching him now, she couldn’t believe she ever let him go without a fight.

  She couldn’t let him go a second time, could she? Or walk away herself?

  He waved at her then motioned at the helicopter. She took it to mean he had something to do before he could leave. She wanted to call out that she had big plans for him and that the others should let him go, but he wasn’t the kind of guy to walk away from his responsibilities, even if it was just cleaning up from a mission. She appreciated that about him.

  She hopped out of the truck and watched the team exit the helicopter. They wore wetsuits like Jackson. All except Coop who slid out of the cockpit. He was dressed in black cargo pants and a black shirt. His hair was also black, making him look darkly dangerous.

  Maybe it was time she met him. She approached. He caught sight of her and his grayish-blue eyes locked on hers.

  She held out her hand when honestly, his intensity had her wanting to turn and run. “Maggie Turner.”

  “Good to meet you.” He shook her hand with a force that she thought might dislodge her arm.

  “I hear I’ll be flying you home in the morning,” he said.

  News to her. “Why not Riley?”

  “He has to teach a class,” Jackson said as he joined them. “I should have told you to wait a bit before heading down here. We need to dry out the boat and stow equipment.”

  “Can I help?”

  Coop looked like he planned to scoff, but a sharp look from Jackson stopped him.

  “You can carry dive jackets and bags to the utility vehicle if you want.” Jackson smiled. “Just follow me.”

  She trailed after his silent footfalls and was fascinated by the unique boots he wore with his suit. He scooted a pair of what she assumed were the dive jackets he mentioned toward the door. They were black and resembled a life jacket with a kind of backpack on the front instead of the back.

  She held one up. “Why are these backwards?”

  “You mean why do we wear the packs on the front?” he asked as he dug out another pair of them.

  She nodded.

  “Two reasons. We need a low profile on the back to escape detection on surface ops, and it also puts the tools in front so we can reach them.”

  She lifted one. “It’s heavy.”

  “Under fifty pounds.”

  “Still heavy.”

  “Yeah, they are.” Eryn joined them. “You want to try mine on?”

  Maggie blushed. “Would it be weird if I said yes?”

  “Not at all.”

  “You two go ahead and play dress up. I’ll be right back.” Jackson went back to the other side of the chopper to help unload the boat onto a wooden platform with a pallet jack.

  “Thanks for asking to try this,” Eryn said, lifting the vest toward Maggie. “Gives me a good reason not to have to lug that boat one more time today.”

  The vest settled in place, and Maggie thought she might topple over. “What makes this so heavy?”

  “The equipment, of course, but also the buoyancy device and breathing apparatus.”

  Maggie was in awe of the many skills she’d seen these team members display in a few days. “How do you even know how to use all the equipment you have here?”

  “Everyone had a specialty coming into the group. We shared our knowledge and trained for like a million hours. Gage was a SEAL so anything water-related is his job to teach us and that includes using dive jackets.”

  Maggie nodded. “Do you like doing all of this stuff?”

  She nodded. “You might, too, if you tried it.”

  Maggie shrugged out of the jacket. “I guess I wouldn’t mind jumping out of a helicopter if I knew what I was doing.”

  “The guys with a military background are far more proficient than I am, but I’m training as often as I can. Maybe someday you can come along on a training mission just to see what it involves.”

  “Yeah, I’d like to do that.” She turned and caught Jackson watching her. He didn’t look keen on her joining them on any mission. Maybe more than that, he wasn’t keen on her being in his life beyond taking her back to Ashland in the morning.

  17

  Jackson stepped out of the bedroom. His hair was wet from his shower, and he wore his usual black cargo pants with a knit shirt in the same color. But his feet were bare as he silently moved across the room toward her, reminding her of a stalking panther. And at the same time, his lack of shoes felt so intimate—so personal—that she had to wonder if she made a mistake in planning this dinner under the moonlight.

  Sure, she wanted to talk to him about his crazy need to protect others. Talk about Alison. About a possible future. But what if he had no thoughts of a future with her, only dinner tonight and dropping her off at home tomorrow?

  She’d have to tread lightly and play things by ear. “You look refreshed.”

  He nodded and smiled. “Funny how you can spend the afternoon in the water and need to come home and shower it off.”

  “The salt,” she said.

  “That was my attempt at making a joke.”

  “Oh.” The tension between them was thick and uncomfortable.

  She busied herself with pouring him a tall glass of iced tea.

  “You didn’t have to cook for me.” He took a seat at the island, and she set the glass in front of him. “But I’m starving, so I’m thankful you did.”

  “You know I love to cook.”

  “Yeah, and it’s your stress reliever, too.” He met her gaze. “But Vetter’s in custody, so what are you stressed about?”

  She couldn’t tell him about her plan to talk to him. She wanted the conversation to feel more organic. “I have to admit your mission today was pretty nerve-wracking for me.” She looked down at the counter to keep him from seeing the half-truth in her eyes. “What exactly did you do?”

  He grabbed his iced tea. “Pretty routine stuff. We dropped the RIB from the chopper and followed it into the water.”

  She looked at him. “RIB?”

  “Sorry, Rigid Inflatable Boat.” He took a long drink of the tea, and she could hardly look away from the strong column of his neck as he drank. “We dropped the RIB packed with the motor inside and inflated the boat in the water.”

  That beautiful neck could have gotten hurt along with the rest of him. “Couldn’t Vetter have simply shot the boat, and it would have deflated?”

  “Yeah, that’s the one problem with RIBs, and why we usually only use them at night.”

  “But you didn’t do that today.”

  He held his glass midair and watched her for a long moment. “The thing is, in this line of work or in the military, you often have to improvise to complete an op. Sometimes that means taking risks.”

  She planted her hands on the cool granite counter. “I know that’s what has to happen, but I don’t like to hear it.”

  He rested his hand on hers. “You know we’d never do anything that wasn’t necessary, right? We perform a risk assessment on every action. If the majority of the team isn’t in agreement, we don’t do it. You’ve seen the incredible brain power in this group. How could we go wrong?” He chuckled.

  Despite her ongoing concern for his safety, she laughed, too. It felt like the right time to broach her subject. “Why do you do it, Jackson? I know to save and help others, but why do you have such a driving need to help?”

  He set down his glass, his gaze pensive. “You’ve never asked me that before.”

  “I know. I guess knowing the details of this op and seeing what you’ve done to protect me made me realize how much you risk.”

  He stared at his glass and turned it in circles in the condensation ring on the countertop. “Just doing my job. Everyone on the team does the same thing.”

  “I know, but why do you want to help others this way?” She bent to get him to look at her. “It almost seems like an obsession to you.”

  A war of emotions battled in his expression. He pushed to his feet and stepped back, looking like he wanted to leave the room. He finally rested his hands on the counter and met her gaze again. “Part of it’s losing Alison. But even before then, I knew this is what I had to do in life.”

  “Why?” she asked, more insistent this time.

  He took a long breath and let it out. “You know my granddad died when I was a kid. I was eight. He’d taken me out in his boat to go fishing. We did that all the time, but that day changed everything. He was casting out a line, and he suddenly keeled over and was unconscious. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to wake him up, but he didn’t move. I rowed back to shore and ran to the house to get my grandma. By the time we got back to the boat, he was dead. He had a massive coronary.”

  She could imagine him in that situation as a young boy and wished she could take away his pain, but she couldn’t. “I’m so sorry, Jackson. That must’ve been really hard for a boy to take.”

  “It was. My dad was always traveling, and Grandpa did everything with me. Baseball, hiking, camping, fishing. He was always there for me, but when he needed me, I couldn’t help.” He pushed off the counter and clamped a hand on the back of his neck. “At the funeral, I swore I’d find a way to help others. That I would never be responsible for someone dying again.”

  She went around the island and freed that hand from his neck to hold it close. “But you weren’t responsible. You can’t be responsible for others in this way.”

  “Really? Then why do you feel responsible for Alison?”

  “I don’t anymore.”

  “You did just a few days ago.”

  “I know, but a lot has changed for me. You’ve helped me see things differently and so has Hannah. Even Eryn helped. I truly want to believe that God doesn’t get things wrong and hope I’ve made enough peace with losing Alison that I can move forward now.”

  He pulled his hand free and eyed her with surprise, suspicion. Maybe even disbelief.