Cleo sighed and began to unwrap the bandages from around her waist. “Leave it to the girl to save the day, yet again. …”

  Luke winced as he was lowered from the crimson sky on the end of a string of knotted bandages. He tried not to look down, but the view above didn’t help much either. The top of the makeshift rope simply disappeared into the churning purple clouds.

  “I’m almost there,” he called. Unseen in the hole above, Resus was slowly feeding out the rope, controlling his friend’s descent.

  Finally Luke’s feet met the blackened earth below and he allowed himself to breathe. He turned to Tee as the rope was whisked back up into the air once again. “Where’s Cleo?”

  “Over here,” shouted the mummy from behind a nearby dead tree. “And I’m not coming out until I get my bandages back.”

  Resus landed beside Luke and tugged at the rope, which detached itself from the tunnel above and fell to the ground. “Simple slip-knot,” beamed the vampire as he tossed the bundle of bandages behind Cleo’s tree.

  Luke surveyed the landscape around them. A desert of rough black sand spread out for miles in every direction beneath the blood-red sky. The air felt as though a thunderstorm was approaching.

  “Well,” said Resus, “this is pleasant.”

  Luke spun to face him. “You didn’t have to come with me.”

  “Oh, yes, I did,” replied the vampire. “You’d still be stuck up in the clouds without my help.”

  “Actually,” interrupted Tee, “it was Cleo who got us down …”

  “You can keep quiet, zombie boy,” snapped Resus. “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

  “He’s here because I want him to be here,” barked Cleo as she appeared from behind the tree, fully dressed.

  “And of course we have to do what the mummy says, don’t we,” Luke grunted.

  “I’ve had just about enough—”

  Resus raised his hands. “Stop!” he shouted. “This isn’t really us arguing.”

  “Sounds like it to me,” retorted Luke.

  Resus shook his head. “It’s this place. It’s sapping our positive energy and aggravating us. We have to try to ignore it.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” grumbled Cleo, brushing black sand from her legs. “‘This place’ isn’t getting inside your bandages.” She turned and tripped over something sticking up from the ground, and glared down at it.

  “Ouch! That wasn’t funny,” said the object, causing Cleo to jump in fright. Jutting out of the sand was the head of Brain Drain’s drummer, Twonk.

  Luke and Resus exchanged a glance, then dropped to their knees and began to drag sand away from the drummer. “How did you manage to get buried like this?” asked the vampire.

  “It’s a funny thing,” said Twonk. “One minute I was jumping off the stage, and the next I was falling through those purple clowns!”

  “Do you mean purple clouds?” asked Luke.

  “Oh, yeah!” grinned the zombie.

  Eventually Twonk’s shoulders became visible. “Right,” said Resus, “we’re going to try to pull you out now. How well are your arms stitched on?”

  “They’re my originals,” said Twonk proudly. “Never been detached.”

  “Let’s just hope they stay that way,” said Resus. “On three: one … two … three!” The boys heaved, and after a moment the drummer popped out of the ground.

  “That’s great,” beamed Twonk, clambering to his feet. “I could have been stuck there for centurions!”

  “I think you mean centuries,” said Luke.

  “Oh, yeah!”

  “… but the funny thing was, I’d already lost my drumstinks!” giggled Twonk as he finished his twenty-fifth unfunny story in a row.

  “Drumsticks,” growled Luke. “They’re called drumsticks!”

  “Oh, yeah!”

  “My feet ache,” moaned Tee.

  “So do my ears,” grumbled Resus, glancing at Twonk. “I don’t think he’s taken a breath since we found him.” The group had been walking for hours but had seen nothing but the same barren landscape, dotted with dead trees. There had certainly been no sign of any other members of Brain Drain.

  “A funny thing about breath,” began Twonk.

  “I think we’ll have to spend the night here,” Luke interrupted before the zombie drummer could finish.

  “Spend the night?” demanded Resus. “No one said anything about spending the night! My mum and dad will be expecting me home.”

  “I think they’ll have enough to worry about, what with the zombie riot and all,” said Luke. “I don’t want to stay here any longer than we have to either!”

  Resus glared at him. “You’re only grumpy because of all the negative energy flying around.”

  “If you don’t stop going on about negative energy …”

  “It’s a funny thing,” began Twonk.

  “SHUT UP!” shouted Luke and Resus together.

  “The problem is, we don’t know where the next member of Brain Drain will be,” said Cleo. “We need to cover more ground.”

  “And how do you suggest we do that, brainy-bandages?” asked Resus.

  “Simple,” said Cleo, sticking her tongue out at him. “We ride.” The mummy headed towards a gap in the trees, where she had spied a glowing silver unicorn. Its long spiral horn glittered in the red light of the sky as it stood watching them.

  “Cleo, stop right there,” said Resus.

  “What’s the matter?” asked the mummy. “It’s just a unicorn.”

  “A unicorn in the Underlands!” Resus reminded her. “Creatures are only sent here because they’re nasty. Really nasty!”

  “Nonsense,” scoffed Cleo, creeping up to the silver beast and running a hand over its shimmering coat. “You’re just trying to spoil things again. How can something this beautiful be nasty?”

  “Is it me,” said Resus to Luke, “or can you feel the phrase ‘I told you so’ heading towards us …?”

  “Resus might be right,” said Luke. “Better to leave it alone.”

  “You really are a pair of cowards,” mocked Cleo. She reached up to stroke the unicorn on its nose. The animal blew twinkling air from its nostrils and lowered its head so that Cleo could pull herself up onto its back.

  “See,” said the mummy, “no problem at all!”

  “Be careful …”

  “Leave her to it,” grumbled Luke, turning away. “If she gets hurt, it’s her own fault.”

  “I can’t leave her to it,” snapped Resus. “That’s a horse with a built-in weapon!”

  “You mean this silly thing?” asked Cleo, reaching forward to caress the unicorn’s horn. “This is just for show, isn’t it, boy?”

  The unicorn blew another blast of air from its nose, but this time its breath glittered black. Then, the creature’s eyes melted from silver to red, and with a deafening whinny it tossed Cleo high into the air. The beast raised itself up on its back legs and impaled the falling mummy on its pointed horn. Cleo screamed in agony.

  “Told you so!” yelled Luke and Resus together as the unicorn took off at a gallop. The three boys and Twonk gave chase across the dead, blackened plain.

  “It went through her stomach,” shouted Tee. “She can’t survive that!”

  “She’s a mummy,” yelled Resus. “Her stomach’s in the fridge at home, along with all her other organs. She’ll hurt after this, but she’ll live.”

  “If we can catch her,” bellowed Luke. “The unicorn’s a lot faster than us!”

  “I’ve got an idea,” said Resus, dragging a length of rope from his cloak and tying a slip-knot in the end as they ran. “But we’re only going to get one shot at this,” he warned.

  Spinning the rope around his head like a cowboy, Resus tossed the noose towards the retreating beast. It fell against the unicorn’s horn and dropped away.

  “I missed!” he shouted in frustration.

  “Not necessarily,” called Tee as the rope slid backwards over the creature’s tail. He took the end from Resus’s hand and yanked hard. The slip-knot tightened around the thick hair and the unicorn skidded to a halt.

  “There,” beamed Tee. “That’ll be a tale to tell everyone back—”

  His breath was knocked from him as the unicorn galloped away again, eyes blazing and foam dripping from its mouth.

  Tee was dragged roughly over the sand. His palms burned as the rope threatened to slip though them, and he twisted the thick cord around his wrists to get a better grip.

  Resus, Luke and Twonk threw themselves at Tee’s feet, grabbing his ankles to add their weight. Eventually the unicorn was dragged to a stop, shaking its head angrily. This dislodged Cleo from its horn, and the mummy landed with a crash among a clump of dead bushes.

  The boys released the rope and raced over to Cleo as the unicorn galloped off into the distance. She opened her eyes and stared up at them. “That really hurt,” she groaned.

  “I’m not surprised,” said Twonk. “You were imposed on its horn!”

  “Impaled,” snapped Luke, correcting him.

  “Oh, yeah!”

  “I warned you to stay away from that thing,” yelled Resus, hugging Cleo. “Anything could have happened!”

  She forced a smile. “I wasn’t worried,” she said. “I had you to save me.”

  “Actually,” said Luke, “that one was down to Tee.”

  “You did well,” admitted Resus, patting the beaming zombie on the shoulder. “Why don’t you and Twonk go and find us some firewood? It looks like we’ll be spending the night here after all.”

  As Tee and Twonk lumbered off in search of kindling, Resus turned to Luke with a grin. “If nothing else, it’ll be quiet for a while.”

  Just then, a tortured scream rang out and the trio turned to see Brain Drain’s guitarist, Jazpants, racing across the plain towards them, her hands beating at herself frantically.

  “Me and my big mouth,” sighed the vampire.

  As Jazpants came closer, Luke could see that she was swatting at some kind of creatures flying around her. “What are they?” he asked. “Wasps?”

  “No such luck,” replied Resus, pulling his cloak up over his head. “They’re pixies!”

  “Pixies?” mocked Luke. “I thought they were supposed to be cute little— Ow!” One of the creatures had zoomed straight for Luke’s head, biting his ear and drawing blood.

  “They’re like flying piranha fish,” shouted Resus from under his cape. “They’ll attack anything even remotely living!”

  Luke yelped as another pixie took a bite at his nose. Jazpants collapsed at his feet, panting and rubbing at the dozens of bites with which she was already covered.

  “What do we do?” shouted Luke as the creatures continued to nip them.

  Resus produced a cloth sack. “If we can get them in here, we should be OK.”

  “You expect me to chase these things around with a bag?”

  “No,” said Resus, pulling his cape to one side to reveal the tennis racquet he had been using earlier. “I expect you to catch them as I serve!” Swinging the racquet, he slammed it into the nearest pixie, catapulting the screaming imp directly towards his friend.

  Luke opened the bag and the pixie flew inside. “Fifteen–love!” he grinned, clamping the sack firmly closed.

  For the next twenty minutes, Resus and Luke batted and volleyed the pixies until they’d caught them all. “Game, set and match,” beamed the vampire.

  Cleo forced herself up onto her elbows. “Can you two keep it down?” she asked. “I’m trying to get some rest here.”

  “Sorry,” grinned Resus. “I guess we were making a bit of a racket!”

  “… and the funny thing was, we should have been dancing a tangle,” said Twonk.

  “Tango!” shouted Luke, Resus, Cleo, Tee and Jazpants together.

  “Oh, yeah!”

  “Is he always like this?” asked Resus. Jazpants clutched her ears and ripped them off her head. “I had these made detachable because I have to sit next to him in the van so often.”

  Luke tossed more wood onto the fire: Twonk and Tee had done well, and the group now had a large pile of dead wood to keep them going. Meanwhile, the sky above had darkened to a deep burgundy, making the Underlands look gloomier than ever.

  “How long have you known Vein?” asked Luke as Jazpants stuck her ears back in place.

  “Not that long,” replied the zombie. “We had a female singer when the band first got together, but she fell apart.”

  “She couldn’t cope with the fame?” asked Cleo.

  “No,” replied Jazpants. “She literally fell apart — during one of our shows. There were bits of her everywhere. It’s her backbone that I use for my guitar now.”

  “And then Vein joined the band?” said Resus.

  Jazpants nodded. “He took over, started ordering everyone around, and soon we were relegated to little more than backing musicians.”

  Twonk stared sadly into the fire. “That wasn’t funny.”

  “Still,” said Jazpants, “that’s all in the past now. I doubt Brain Drain will ever play together again.”

  “We’ll find a way to get you out of here,” said Luke — adding, more to himself than anyone else, “we have to.”

  The group fell silent, watching the flames crackle gently in the fire. After a while, Jazpants began to sing softly, “I’ll bite your spleen and sup your bile …”

  Resus pointed at her hands. “Look!”

  “What?” asked Luke.

  “Sing that again,” said Resus. “That line from ‘Zombie Feasting Time’.”

  “The song Sir Otto wrote?” said Cleo. Resus nodded.

  Jazpants took a deep breath and sang once more.

  “I’ll bite your spleen and sup your bile,

  Chew your kidneys for a while …”

  “There!” said Resus excitedly. Wisps of green smoke were bubbling around Jazpants’s sixteen fingers. “I think we’ve just found a way to get you home …”

  In the orange glow of the fire, Twonk sat behind an assortment of pots and pans from Resus’s cape, with two pieces of firewood in his hands to serve as drumsticks.

  Beside him, Jazpants readied herself to strum on the trusty tennis racquet. “Are you sure this is going to work?” she asked.

  “When you sang those lines from ‘Zombie Feasting Time’, the green smoke appeared again,” insisted Resus. “If we can trick the spell into thinking you’re performing the song down here, it might just work in reverse and send you back to Scream Street.”

  “Or,” suggested Luke, “they could wind up several miles underground.”

  Resus frowned at him. “Let’s hope for the best, eh?”

  “It’s not funny making me play drums on cooking untenables,” complained Twonk.

  “They’re utensils,” said Resus through gritted teeth, “and if you want to get out of here, you’ll just have to put up with it.”

  The vampire stood before the two musicians and raised his hands like a conductor. “OK … One, two, three, four!”

  Twonk played out a beat on the pots and pans while Jazpants’s extra fingers plucked at the taut strings of the tennis racquet.

  “It’s not working,” said Luke after a few moments.

  “It might be because no one’s singing the lyrics,” said Resus.

  “Don’t look at me,” said Jazpants. “I can only remember that one line.”

  “And I’ve never been any good at limits,” added Twonk.

  “Lyrics,” hissed Resus. “No one can remember the lyrics!”

  “I can,” said Tee quietly.

  “You can what?”

  “I can remember the lyrics to ‘Zombie Feasting Time’.”

  “Even though you only heard it once, back in Scream Street?” asked Cleo.

  Tee nodded. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got it all.”

  “OK,” said Resus disbelievingly. “Let’s try again.”

  This time when the musicians started playing, everyone was amazed to hear Tee’s powerful voice ringing out:

  “If I rip the heart right from your chest,

  They’ll take me away; cardiac arrest …”

  Green smoke began to swirl around Jazpants and Twonk.

  “I’ll let your blood flow like a river,

  Mop it all up with your juicy liver,” sang Tee as the emerald mist rose higher and higher.

  After a few more bars of music there was a flash and the tennis racquet and sticks fell to the ground. Jazpants and Twonk had gone.

  “It worked!” shouted Luke, clapping Tee on the back.

  “Where did you learn to sing like that?” asked Cleo.

  Tee shrugged. “It suddenly came back to me that I liked music,” he said. “Maybe music was one of the things I was into when I was alive?”

  “Then why didn’t you just disappear like the other two?”

  “I don’t know,” admitted Tee. “Maybe it works on those already affected by the spell first?”

  Resus remained unconvinced. “It all seems a bit convenient to me,” he grumbled, grabbing a log from the woodpile and throwing it on the fire.

  Cleo glared at him. “Resus, no!”

  The vampire squared up to her. “I’m entitled to my opinion, Cleo.”

  “I didn’t mean that,” shouted the mummy, plunging her hand into the fire and snatching the log back out. “This isn’t a bit of wood. It’s a leg!”

  Crimson dawn was breaking by the time Luke found the head. “It’s definitely Porridge,” he confirmed, gingerly picking up the zombie’s skull by the hair. He jumped as the creature’s eyes flickered open and gazed up at him.

  “This is awfully good of you, old chap,” said Porridge. “I just haven’t been feeling myself lately.”

  “Probably because you’ve been scattered all over the Underlands,” said Luke as he placed the head next to the rest of the collected body parts.

  “Right, have we got everything now?” asked Resus, producing a needle and thread from his cloak. “Where do we start?”

  “By paying attention in Dr Skully’s classes,” groaned Cleo as she tried to fit the zombie’s ribs into his spinal column. The bones fell to the ground with a clatter.