“Let’s take it one step at a time,” said Luke. “Tee, you stand there and act as a reference guide. Now, the head definitely goes on the shoulders …”

  “Don’t forget the neck,” said Resus, handing over a cylinder of rotting flesh.

  “Thanks!” gulped Luke, gingerly taking it off him. He sat down on a blackened rock and slipped the neck over the top of the spine, placing the head on top of that and pushing the needle deep into the zombie’s skin.

  “Aaargh!” Porridge screamed in agony, causing Luke to topple backwards off the rock. When he reappeared, Brain Drain’s bass player was giggling.

  “Sorry, old bean,” grinned Porridge. “Couldn’t resist!”

  Luke’s stomach churned as he stitched the zombie back together. Every time he slid the needle into the scab-covered skin, rivers of pus oozed from the holes.

  Resus and Cleo followed the lines of Tee’s body to set out the parts of Porridge on the ground like a jigsaw puzzle. They handed each bone, organ or flap of flesh to Luke as required.

  Eventually the job was finished and Porridge stood before them, whole once more. “Well,” he smiled. “How do I look?”

  “There’s something not quite right …” said Resus thoughtfully. “Don’t go to pieces, but you seem all out of proportion.”

  “You’ve mixed his arms and legs up,” groaned Cleo as she realized.

  “I’ve mixed them up?” said Luke. “You were the one telling me which order to sew things in!”

  Porridge gazed down at his new body. His arms were stitched to the bottom of his torso, with his feet attached to his wrists. The zombie’s long legs hung down from his shoulders, fingers where his toes should be.

  “We’ll have to take them off and redo them,” sighed Resus.

  “No!” protested Porridge. “I like it this way.”

  “But you look like an orangutan,” said Luke. “Your knuckles are scraping along the ground!”

  “Yes,” smiled the zombie. “But imagine how cool I’ll look with my bass guitar strapped so low around my neck! I thank you for your assistance.”

  “Now we just have to get you back to Scream Street,” said Resus.

  “We’ll need something to stand in as a bass guitar,” said Luke. “But what?”

  Cleo unwound a length of bandage from her leg. “If you stand on one end of this and hold it taut, that might sound like a bass?”

  Porridge shook his head. “I’m afraid that won’t work,” he said. “I always play an electric bass guitar. What you’re suggesting would be more like an upright double bass.”

  “Suit yourself, then,” shrugged Cleo, beginning to wrap the bandage back round her leg.

  Porridge smiled. “With a few small alterations, however …”

  “I feel utterly stupid,” said Cleo, grimacing.

  Resus bit his lip and tried hard not to laugh. “You look great, though — doesn’t she, Luke!”

  Luke turned away to hide his smile. “Don’t involve me in this,” he said. Cleo was hanging sideways around Porridge’s neck by a length of bandage, another strip strung from her shoulder to her foot. She was a living bass guitar.

  “It’ll only be for a few minutes,” said Tee kindly, “and you’ll be helping a lot.”

  “Stay rigid, now,” grinned Resus. Cleo glared at him.

  “OK,” said Porridge, flexing his fingers. “I’m ready.”

  Tee closed his eyes and began to sing. “If I rip the heart right from your chest …”

  Porridge plucked at his makeshift bass in time to the song. Within seconds, the green gas swirled up around his feet. Cleo crashed to the ground as the zombie vanished into the mist.

  “Well,” said the mummy. “Isn’t someone going to help me up?”

  Resus, Luke and Tee were in fits of giggles.

  “It’s not funny!” yelled Cleo.

  “I know,” wheezed Luke, clutching his sides.

  “Then there’s no need to grin quite so widely, OK?”

  “Oh, yes, there is!” screamed a voice. With a bloodcurdling yell, a large woman in an off-white leotard and tutu launched herself from the branches of the tree above and tackled Luke to the ground. Fumbling at a tool belt stitched into the waistband of her tutu, the woman grabbed a hammer and swung it towards his mouth.

  “Oh, no,” shouted Resus. “It’s the Tooth Fairy!”

  Luke turned his face to one side just in time and the hammer plunged into the black sand beside his head. The fairy tried to pull it out again, but the hammer was buried too deep. She snatched up a wrench from her tool belt instead, and grinned.

  “Smile for the last time, pretty boy,” she screeched. “Those pearly whites will be mine!”

  Before she could go for Luke again, Resus threw himself at the fairy, knocking her aside. Tee stamped on her wrist, forcing her to release the wrench. Cleo tossed it out of reach.

  “You fools,” squealed the fairy. “This is my only chance to escape!”

  Luke scrambled away across the sand. “How? By caving my face in?”

  “They said that I was neglecting my duties,” ranted the Tooth Fairy. “That some little brats had woken up with their teeth still under their pillows instead of money. But I’ll show them. I’ll show them all!” Snatching a rock from the ground, she hurled it at Luke, catching him on the shoulder.

  “You’re insane!” he roared.

  The Tooth Fairy nodded, her belly wobbling with the sudden movement. “That’s what they said when I asked for a second chance. They sent me here — they said they’d find a replacement. But I’ll be back! All I need is some teeth …”

  With this the fairy ran at Luke, throwing herself on top of him and pinning his arms to the ground. Eyes flashing crazily, she raised her head and brought it down hard against Luke’s mouth, splitting his lip.

  Resus and Tee pulled the crazed woman off their friend. “Stop this,” pleaded Cleo. “You can’t just take teeth: they have to fall out first!”

  “Dental matters might just be the least of our worries …” warned Resus.

  Luke clutched at his face as the pain from his lip rocketed through his skull. He felt his eyeballs swell, a yellow film coating them as the full force of his transformation hit him. His face stretched out to form a snout, and long sharp teeth burst from his gums. Soon he was entirely covered in thick brown fur.

  The werewolf stood and howled at the blood-red sky.

  “Why’s he so big?” said Cleo. “I don’t remember him being so big before!”

  “It must be the effect of the Underlands,” guessed Resus. “It’s made him into a monster …” He flashed a glance at the Tooth Fairy and saw the fanatical smile vanish from her face. “He’ll tear her apart!”

  “So?” replied Cleo. “She attacked him first. Why should we help her?”

  “She’s clearly mad,” said Resus, pointing to the fairy. “Luke isn’t!”

  “I don’t know,” said Cleo. “He looks pretty mad to me!”

  Resus stepped in front of the werewolf. “Luke,” he said. “I know you’re in there, and I want you to listen to me. Leave the fairy alone.”

  The werewolf roared with rage and lashed out, knocking Resus to the ground with a powerful paw. The creature leapt round to where the Tooth Fairy cowered and lunged towards her stomach, jaws open wide.

  Tearing away the tool belt, the wolf hurled it aside and growled down at the sobbing fairy, saliva dripping onto her leotard from its tongue. “I’m s— sorry,” she stammered. “I just needed some teeth …”

  Tee ran at Luke, grabbing the werewolf around the waist and dragging it away from the terrified woman. “Get rid of her!” he shouted to Resus and Cleo, fighting to keep his hold on the beast.

  Resus scrambled to his feet, and pulling his false fangs out of his mouth he thrust them into the Tooth Fairy’s trembling hand. “Take these,” he said. “Just get as far away from here as you can!”

  “Resus, you can’t,” shouted Cleo.

  “I can,” replied Resus. “I’m not a real vampire — I don’t need them.” He swung back to face the fairy, glaring fiercely. “Go!”

  Nodding, the fairy struggled to her feet, then flapped her wings and soared into the air, not looking back once as she disappeared over the treetops.

  “OK, now there’s just the rabid, snarling wolf to deal with,” said Resus.

  The werewolf hooked its claws around Tee’s shoulders and flipped him over. With a flash of glistening teeth, it bit deep into the zombie’s arm.

  “Tee!” The wolf spun round to face Cleo, advancing slowly. “Luke, it’s us,” she said, tears running down her cheeks. “Your friends!”

  “He can’t hear us; he’s in too deep,” said Resus, taking Cleo’s hand. “There’s nothing we can do.”

  “But it can’t end like this,” cried the mummy. “Not now, not here!”

  The wolf took another step towards them and then its eyes widened as a clang blotted out the sound of its deep-throated growl. As Luke collapsed to the ground, unconscious, Resus and Cleo saw Vein standing behind him, the fairy’s metal wrench clutched in his hands.

  “It’s not ending here at all,” drawled the singer.

  When Luke woke up he found himself tied to a dead tree stump. He struggled to free himself but the bandages were too tight.

  “How are you feeling?” asked Resus, coming over.

  “Human again,” said Luke. “Can you untie me?”

  “Leave him where he is!” Vein appeared behind the vampire. “If you let him go, he could rip out our throats.”

  Luke stared up at the singer. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “And what are you talking about?”

  “You bit Tee,” said Cleo.

  Luke paled. “Is he all right?”

  “I’m fine,” said Tee, stepping into view. His arm was in a sling made from another of Cleo’s bandages.

  “I don’t understand,” said Luke, bewildered. “I’ve never attacked my friends before.”

  “It’s the Underlands,” said Resus. “This place affects you.”

  “Don’t tell me,” groaned Luke. “Negative energy, right?” Resus nodded.

  “Which is exactly why we can’t let him go,” insisted Vein.

  Resus shook his head. “I trust him.”

  “Fine, have it your way,” snapped the singer, snatching up the metal wrench.

  Resus quickly untied Luke’s bonds. “Talk to him,” he hissed. “He’s been like this for hours! It’s driving me nuts.”

  Luke calmly approached the zombie. “It’s OK,” he said, holding out his hands to show he meant no harm. “It only happens when I get angry, and that’s over now.”

  “Why did you follow us here?” asked Vein. “To this place?”

  “I need the relic you left behind as a founding father of Scream Street.”

  “You need my tongue?” asked Vein.

  “Yes,” said Luke. “I have to take my parents … Wait a minute. The relic is your tongue? The actual tongue you’ve got in your mouth at this moment?”

  Vein nodded.

  Luke took a deep breath. “I need it to open a doorway back to my world.”

  “Well, you can’t have it,” snarled Vein. “I’m the lead singer in the world’s greatest zombie rock band. Giving you my tongue would end my career.”

  “But … you offered it as a relic to help those who follow,” said Luke. “Changing your mind now would just be selfish!”

  “I’m not the one being selfish here,” said Vein. “Before I joined Brain Drain, I was a nobody with nothing to look forward to in death. I will not go back to that!”

  Luke blinked back tears of frustration as the zombie turned and stalked away.

  Cleo put an arm around him. “You OK?”

  “It’s over,” declared Luke.

  “You don’t know that,” said Resus. “Maybe you only need the relics from the founding fathers who are prepared to give them to you?”

  Luke pulled Skipstone’s Tales of Scream Street from his pocket and looked expectantly at the silver cover. “I’m afraid not,” said Skipstone. “All six relics are required to access the power of the founding fathers.”

  “Could you talk to Vein?” Cleo asked the author.

  Skipstone shook his head. “The fathers must give their gifts freely, or not at all. There is nothing I can do.”

  Luke sighed, tucking the book away again. “Let’s just go home,” he said.

  “Er, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that …” said Resus.

  Cleo stared at the vampire. “Tell me you’re not about to say that we came here without a plan to get home.”

  “I didn’t expect us to get this far,” defended Resus. “We found that Hex Hatch by accident, and then everything happened so quickly …”

  “What about the Hex Hatch?” asked Luke. “Could we use it to get back?”

  “Possibly,” said Resus. “But I’ve no idea how we’d find it among the clouds, or how we could get up there even if we did.”

  “So, basically, we’re stuck here,” said Cleo.

  “Well, I do have one idea …”

  “Hello, Underlands!” called Vein, using a stick as a makeshift microphone.

  “This will never work,” muttered Cleo as she plucked at the length of bandage stretched between her hips and wrist.

  “It might,” said Resus, tapping on the pans in front of him with a dead twig. “The spell shouldn’t be able to tell that we’re not the real band!”

  “What do you think happens,” asked Luke, tennis racquet clutched in his hands, “when the green smoke appears?”

  “Hopefully we’re about to find out,” said Resus as Vein finished his intro. Tee stood beside the older zombie, ready to sing along into the jar of glow-worms.

  “This is our latest song,” announced Vein. “It’s called ‘Zombie Feasting T—’” He stopped. “Something’s not right,” he said.

  “What?” asked Resus. “These pretend instruments worked for the other band members.”

  “It’s not the instruments,” said Vein. “You just don’t look like musicians!” Tucking the stick into his pocket, Vein grabbed one of the tattoos stitched onto his arm and tore it off. Carrying the flap of flesh over to Cleo, he slapped it against her shoulder, where a mixture of mucus and pus held it in place.

  “If we do get home,” Cleo said through gritted teeth, “you’ll be joining the undead, Resus Negative!”

  Vein stared thoughtfully at Tee. “Your eyes are too bright,” he said. “I have mine injected with black ink once a fortnight.”

  “It’s OK,” called Resus as the shy young zombie flushed a paler shade of green. “I’ve got some sunglasses here!” He tossed the shades to Tee.

  Vein looked at his new band. “Now we’re ready,” he said. “Except …”

  Luke sighed. “Except what?”

  “We haven’t got an audience! We need to build up the right atmosphere.”

  Resus gazed around the vast empty plain. “It’s been a while since this place had any atmosphere.”

  It took almost an hour for Luke, Resus and Cleo to locate the Tooth Fairy and ask for her help — and another one to persuade her that the werewolf really had gone. “It’s OK,” Luke told her. “I know it wasn’t personal.”

  Flying off, the fairy soon returned with the unicorn, two gargoyles and a dozen or so monkey-like creatures with green spiked hair.

  “There,” said Resus. “How’s that?”

  Vein grinned as the band took up their positions once again. “We’re back, Underlands,” he shouted into his stick. “This is ‘Zombie Feasting Time’!”

  Resus battered away at his pots and pans. Luke strummed the tennis racquet and Cleo plucked at her bandage.

  “If I rip the heart right from your chest,

  They’ll take me away; cardiac arrest …” sang Vein as Tee joined in with the harmonies.

  Luke winced. The sound they were making was terrible! Even the green-haired monkeys were running away in terror. Surely no one could be tricked into think that they were a real—

  A dense green gas began to bubble up around his feet. Luke looked from pretend musician to pretend musician and saw that they, too, were gradually being enveloped in the smoke.

  “It’s working!” he shouted. There was a flash of green light, then Luke found himself flying through a swirling emerald tunnel. Someone whooped with joy and Luke turned to see Resus beside him, his cape flapping out from his shoulders.

  Then Cleo appeared. “I’ll get you for this, Resus!” she screamed.

  Finally Vein and Tee arrived, laughing helplessly. “This is just like the first time,” called the singer. “Get ready for a bumpy landing …”

  Another burst of green light filled the air and Luke landed with a thud onto the stage in the central square of Scream Street. Jazpants stood beside him and appeared to be in the middle of a guitar solo. Incredibly, it seemed that although they had spent the night in the Underlands, only a few minutes had passed in Scream Street.

  Resus arrived next and found himself sitting at the drum kit beside Twonk. “Now, that’s funny!” beamed the drummer as the vampire joined in with his own sticks.

  Porridge seemed to be having a great time, his stumpy new legs planted firmly on the stage and his bass guitar slung low below his waist. Then there was a crack of green lightning and Cleo landed, squarely, on the zombie’s shoulders.

  “Welcome back, little lady,” Porridge smiled as Cleo screamed in excitement.

  A final flash of light burst into view at the front of the stage. As it cleared, Vein and Tee could be seen standing together, singing the song into real microphones.

  “I’ll let your blood flow like a river,

  Mop it all up with your juicy liver!”

  The zombies in the audience roared with delight as their hero reappeared.

  “Chewing on you, you’re tasting good,

  Gnawing your bones and tasting blood.

  I chews you — it’s zombie feasting time!”

  Luke beamed at Cleo and Resus. Maybe the fact that Vein didn’t want to hand over his tongue wasn’t so bad after all. Moments like this made life in Scream Street enjoyable — perhaps he could even convince his mum and dad to get to know their neighbours. Maybe then they’d—