“I wanted you to want me, Porter,” he said. “I wanted you to take the damn initiative and show me you wanted me. I wanted you to show up at my place, walk right in like you owned it, and take me in hand. I wanted you to shove me onto the bed, pin me by my fucking throat, look me in the eyes, and tell me I wasn’t going anywhere. That I belonged to you and you belonged to me. I wanted you to own me, not let me go. And then fuck me to claim me and seal the deal. I wanted you to push me to stay, lay official claim to me, and show me you loved me.”

  “I don’t push,” he softly said. “And I don’t play games. You know that, and you damn well know why.”

  Gavin now stood almost right behind Porter, between the two trucks. Porter could see him in the reflection in his driver’s window. “I’m not Dane! I’m—”

  Porter spun around, slammed him against the side of Gavin’s truck, and crushed his lips over Gavin’s.

  Meanwhile, his cock woke up, screamed yaaaaas, bitches! and nearly punched a hole through the front of his briefs and shorts.

  Gavin tasted like sweat and fear and desperate, shaky need. Porter pressed his body against Gavin’s, their cocks both hard and rubbing together through their clothes. A sweet, low moan rolled from Gavin as Porter kissed him, and then he started grinding back against Porter, tried to drape his arms around his neck, and—

  Porter’s common sense finally caught up with him and he released Gavin, stepping back, horrified he’d done that. Hard and heavy in a scene? Absolutely.

  Laying hands on someone in real-life?

  Fuck, no.

  Shit.

  With his hands shaking and his emotions a confused, swampy mess, Porter climbed into his truck, started it, and peeled out of the parking lot while a stunned-looking Gavin stood there watching.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Gavin stood there watching Porter drive away, still whimpering from echoes of that kiss ricocheting through his body, his cock aching and his soul singing.

  This.

  That man.

  That’s the man he wanted to claim him.

  That’s the man who owned his heart and soul and submission.

  He’d never called another man Master before, but that tantalizing glimpse he’d just had of that side of Porter drove home something Gavin had desperately, and futilely, tried to erase from his own soul—Porter was his Master, his love.

  His only.

  He didn’t even realize he was crying until he walked around his truck to the driver’s side and climbed behind the wheel.

  He’d fucked this up all the way around. His fear and being locked into old patterns.

  One of the things that had made him so fucking angry about Dane’s suicide, besides the man having to know it’d be Porter who’d find him, was yes, Dane went through a lot of shit as a kid. But he’d let himself get stuck in such a tight, regimented cycle of old, useless pain.

  In all those years, Dane had never managed to get past it enough to move forward.

  And Porter—and Gavin, too—ended up paying a life-long price, as a result.

  But wasn’t that exactly what he’d done, too, to a lesser extent. Chosen to remain stuck where he’d ended up instead of moving forward? Looking back and tripping all over himself instead of focusing forward and on Porter?

  As he drove home, he got stuck at a red light and stared at his phone. Before he could stop himself, he texted his address to Porter.

  Nothing else, just that.

  Tomorrow morning, he’d go by Porter’s work and ask him to come over tomorrow night for dinner. He’d beg forgiveness and for another chance, if Porter would give it to him.

  If not, he wouldn’t blame him.

  When he got home he headed straight for the shower and stood there, dreaming about the feel of Porter’s lips over his. It hardened his cock again, and for the first time in a while he grabbed lube and started stroking because he needed to come.

  He was halfway there when he heard something, but before he could investigate, a hand ripped the shower curtain open and he let out a scream.

  * * * *

  Porter had just pulled into his apartment complex when his phone buzzed.

  His heart raced when he saw it was from Gavin…then he realized it was only an address.

  Nothing more.

  No message, no apology.

  He headed inside and for shits and giggles tapped the address, which automatically opened his map program.

  Oh…shit.

  Gavin literally lived five minutes away. Not even that.

  Are you shitting me?

  Before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed clean clothes, shoved them into his gym bag, and headed out again, barely remembering to lock the door behind him.

  When he arrived, Gavin’s truck was parked in front of one of the units. He started to knock but something told him not to.

  He slowly reached out and tried the knob and found it unlocked.

  When he opened the door, he peeked inside and heard a shower running, but this was definitely Gavin’s apartment. He spotted the framed picture of them, identical to the one he had, sitting on the entertainment center next to his TV. It wasn’t the only familiar thing, either. The couch was new, as were a couple of other pieces, but there were knickknacks and books, pictures he recognized.

  He stepped inside, dropped his bag, closed and locked the door behind him, and stripped on his way to the bathroom. There, he grabbed the shower curtain and jerked it open, grinning to see a very startled Gavin standing there, and—

  “Oh, someone wasn’t given permission to fucking do that.” Porter climbed in, grabbing Gavin by the throat and slamming him against the wall, pinning him there. Porter reached behind him and pulled the shower curtain closed again. At five-seven, Gavin was eight inches shorter than Porter, with a slender build, but their bodies had always felt perfect pressed against each other.

  The fear in Gavin’s eyes flared and flashed over to pure passion and hunger. “Sorry, Sir. I-I didn’t know if you were coming.”

  Porter’s fingers closed around Gavin’s throat, not enough to cut off his air but enough to make him remember who was in charge. He leaned in and slanted his lips over Gavin’s, devoured him with hungry, demanding kisses that hardened his own cock.

  “Oh, I’m going to be coming all right, boy,” he rasped. “You’ll be lucky if I let you come for a fucking month.”

  More desire blossomed in Gavin’s gorgeous blue eyes, and Porter realized how much he’d fucking missed this with him.

  “Yes, Sir. I deserve it.”

  Porter slammed him against the wall again. “Damn right you do.” More kisses. Porter reached down and slapped Gavin’s hand away from his cock, wrapping his own fingers around it and squeezing hard, until Gavin’s moan turned from needy to pained and he eased up just a little. “Remind me who that belongs to?”

  “You, Sir!” Gavin said.

  Porter sucked on Gavin’s lower lip and slowly stroked his cock for him. “Damn right it fucking does.” He released Gavin, and Porter almost thought he was going to have to grab Gavin again to keep him from hitting the floor, he’d dived into subspace so hard and fast. “Knees,” he barked.

  Gavin sank to his knees, his mouth already open. Porter grabbed his head and started face-fucking him with all ten inches of thick cock that he had, unable to hold back this time. He needed it, needed Gavin too damn much.

  Needed to stake his claim in a way his boy would have absolutely zero fucking doubts about.

  “Take it,” he growled. “Every goddamned drop of it. I’ll decide after that if I’m going to reward you or not.”

  Gavin moaned around his cock. Porter knew that hungry moan, too. Had missed it soooo fucking much. His perfect tongue stroked and licked Porter’s cock with every thrust, his blue eyes watering but still looking up at him.

  Even while Porter slid his prick all the way into Gavin’s mouth, Gavin stayed with him.

  No pussy ever felt as good as this man’s mouth. Ever.

  And he’d fucked two pussies in his life, so he had a valid goddamned comparison.

  His thumbs stroked Gavin’s cheeks as Porter’s gaze burned hot into his boy’s. “You missed this, hmmm?”

  “Mmm-hmm!”

  He pushed deep, choking him on it, his balls against Gavin’s chin. “Take it, boy. Remember how to swallow ten inches? You’d better.” He smiled as he felt Gavin struggling not to gag on it, eased out just enough to let him regroup before slamming deep again. “Remember that night I tied you up on the bed with your head hanging over the edge and fed you three loads deep down your throat just like that?”

  A long, needy moan rolled from Gavin, straight through Porter’s balls and triggering his release. He pulled back and started fucking, hard and fast, letting Gavin concentrate on the head and glans with his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Then his balls tensed and he felt his orgasm hit him. As it spiraled through him, he jammed his prick deep into Gavin’s mouth again and reveled in the feel of his boy’s throat around him as he swallowed his first load of cum from Porter in over a year.

  It damn sure wouldn’t be the last one he swallowed, either.

  * * * *

  Ohhhh, fuuuuuck yes!

  Could it really be this easy?

  Part of Gavin’s brain, the part usually in charge of common sense and paying bills, tapped his wristwatch and said no, it’s not, but enjoy it while you can.

  The rest of Gavin’s brain locked that annoying little fucker in the basement and delighted in trying to remember how to swallow that gorgeous hunk of meat without gagging on it.

  It’d always been a point of pride for Gavin that he could usually take Porter all the way on the first try. Plenty of times they’d played with guys, and when one would choke or gag, Gavin would grin, open wide, and show off, proudly displaying his oral talents and loving the good-boys that Porter would shower him with before pulling out and gagging the bottom with his cock again.

  It’d been a game.

  Once Gavin drained Porter’s balls, Porter grabbed him by the arm, jerked him to his feet, spun him around, and planted a hand between his shoulder blades to shove him over. Gavin felt Porter drizzle lube down the crack of his ass. Then a finger probed Gavin’s hole, and he moaned when it easily slid in.

  “Yeeeaah, that’s what a boy needs, isn’t it?” Porter fisted Gavin’s hair with his free hand and held him in place as he slowly finger-fucked him. “Going to need to stretch you out right, aren’t I? This what you wanted?”

  “Yes, Sir!”

  Porter pulled his finger out and slapped Gavin’s ass, spanking him and then finger-fucking him again, back and forth and completely shoving in the clutch, hard, on Gavin’s brain.

  Gavin rested his forehead against his arms, which were braced against the shower wall. He’d forgotten how sweet this form of subspace felt, sharp and pure and all the better because it was nothing but their bodies making all those delicious brain chemicals now pouring into his skull.

  “Who’s this belong to?” Porter asked as he twisted two fingers deep inside Gavin’s rim.

  “You, Sir!”

  Gavin’s ass quickly grew hot and stinging from the treatment, even as Porter worked him up to three fingers between spanking rounds. Before Gavin knew it, he felt the head of Porter’s cock pressing against his rim, stretching him, then slamming home and making him cry out.

  Not because it hurt, but because it felt fucking fantastic. Of course Porter had lubed himself. But as Gavin stood there, gasping, his cock hard and leaking pre-cum all over the place, he closed his eyes and realized if he was being given a second chance then he was the luckiest fucking guy on the face of the planet.

  Porter’s hands settled on Gavin’s hips as he paused to give Gavin a moment to shift how he was bracing himself. “What was that someone said about being pushed?” He took a long, slow stroke out before driving deep again.

  Gavin giggled. When was the last time he’d fucking done that? “Yes, Sir, that would be you pushing me.”

  Porter fucked him for a few minutes before pausing and reaching around him. “First one’s free, boy. Go.” His fingers closed around Gavin’s cock and started pumping him.

  It only took three strokes before he was coming, his ass squeezing the perfect cock planted deep inside him and spurts of cum splashing all over the walls.

  Porter only gave him a few before grabbing his hips and fucking him again. “Lucky boy gets it at both ends tonight,” he grunted before he came, falling still as his cock throbbed and spilled inside Gavin.

  They stood there for a moment, silent, breathing…evaluating.

  Porter finally pulled out and turned Gavin around, holding him in his arms. When the water started going turning lukewarm, Porter released him so they could quickly scrub down with soap and get out before it went totally cold. There in the bathroom, they dried each other off while kissing, and Gavin realized what had been missing in his life was right here.

  He thought Porter would take him to the bedroom and make love to him again, but when he followed him out of the bathroom, he realized Porter was going to the front door and grabbed his gym bag.

  Then he started pulling on clothes.

  “Wh-what are you doing, Sir?”

  There was old, ancient grief in Porter’s gaze as he pulled on a T-shirt. Then he walked over to him and put his hands on Gavin’s shoulders. “I can’t stay tonight.”

  “Why not?”

  Porter stared down into his eyes for a long moment. “I came to you,” he quietly said. “Like you told me you wanted.” Then he leaned in and nuzzled a tender, gentle kiss against his lips. “I love you, and I only want you. No more games, no more mistrust, no more hesitation. Take tonight—hell, take a couple of days, if you need it. There’s a fork in the road, baby. Either we’re together, or we’re just friends. I know what I want.

  “When you can look me in the eyes and tell me, for sure, which one you want, you come to me and tell me. If it’s just friends, then no hard feelings, and let’s try to get back to something close to what we had in terms of being friends, because I fucking miss you.”

  He sniffled, and it nearly broke Gavin’s heart, but he didn’t interrupt.

  “If you decide you want to be with me, then great, I’ll take it from there. But it has to be your choice. You’re an adult. I can’t make this choice for you, baby.”

  Then Gavin couldn’t believe what he did next. Porter kissed him on the forehead, grabbed his bag, dirty clothes, and keys…and left.

  Gavin ran to the front door and peered through the viewfinder.

  Sure enough…

  He drove off.

  If it wasn’t for the way his ass was deliciously stretched and stinging, he’d almost believe he’d imagined the whole thing.

  And as he lay there later that night and failed to fall asleep, one thing kept pulsing through his mind—I can’t lose him again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Porter honestly didn’t know what choice Gavin would make and did his level best not to obsess about it too much overnight.

  Still, he slept, but restlessly, and with nightmares sprinkled through what little he did get.

  The next morning…

  Gavin was waiting in the parking lot when Porter arrived at work almost an hour early. He saw Gavin climb out of his truck as soon as he spotted Porter’s approaching. Then he stood there, ready, when Porter parked.

  Porter’s pulse pounded as his soul soared, hopeful.

  I need a fucking win. Please?

  Porter got out of his truck, stood there, and studied Gavin for a long moment. “Did you decide?” Porter asked.

  “Yes, Sir,” Gavin said, sending Porter’s hopes soaring.

  “And?”

  Gavin took a deep breath. For a second, Porter felt certain he was about to have his heart gutted.

  “Together, Sir.” Gavin blinked back tears. “Please,” he whispered, begging. “Together. I need you, Sir. I’ve missed you, and I love you, and I want you. Please?”

  Relief swept through him, so sharp and sweet that it triggered tears in Porter’s eyes. “Marry me,” Porter said.

  Gavin’s eyes widened. “What?”

  “Marry me, dammit. You want proof I love you? Marry me. No other guys. Won’t even play with other guys. Just you and me.”

  He watched Gavin’s throat work as he nervously swallowed.

  Porter took a step closer. “Want me to drop down onto one knee right here? Because I will.”

  “Wh-what’s the catch?” Gavin softly asked.

  Porter shook his head. “No catch. You and me and no one else. I can’t do vanilla, but you already know that, so that’s not a shocker. Marry me and be mine. My husband, my slave, my everything. You set the date.”

  He watched as Gavin glanced around, but there was no one in the parking lot with them right now.

  “Time for you to put up or shut up, buddy,” Porter added. “If you mean it about how you feel for me, then say yes. If you don’t, then stop crucifying me over this, let’s shake hands, and at least try to figure out how to become friends again, because I fucking miss you. Should I have sat you down before you accepted the job in Costa Rica? Yes. I’ll own that. I was a dumbass. Have I had my head up my ass about my grief for Dane? Yes. I’ll own that, too.

  “But you have to admit you’ve had issues of your own. And we wouldn’t be here right now had you simply looked at me and said, ‘I love you, and I won’t take this job if you love me, too, because I don’t want to be away from you for that long.’ Or had you simply said, ‘Hey, funny story. Jayce is trying to tell me you’re fucking him, but he’s full of shit, right?’ And I would have told you, ‘Absolutely he’s full of shit. When is your ass coming home from Costa Rica, so I can marry you and keep you here, with me, where you belong?’

  “If you marry me, Gav, I promise I’ll work on all of that, if you promise to work on your family stuff and your trust issues. You’ll be first and only in my life. I can’t give you more than that, because there isn’t anything above that to give. If that’s not enough for you, I don’t know what else I can do to convince you how serious I am or how much I love you.”