That’s when he hit his fuck-it point and decided to lob incoming fire at them head-on instead of playing nice. That had happened in no small coincidence about the same time he’d met Dane and Porter.

  The result of that change in approach with his family resulted in a much quieter and simpler life for him.

  John was his mom’s fourth husband. His dad had been her first. When he’d made the mistake of going to a distant cousin’s wedding three years ago, for one of the few relatives he actually liked and got along with, that’d been the first time he’d met John.

  The man had made it perfectly clear Gavin wasn’t welcomed in his home if he was gay.

  Gavin had grinned, told him it was good thing he was staying in a hotel then, and walked off, leaving the guy with his jaw dropped and his mother red-faced and mortified with embarrassment over how Gavin had spoken to John.

  That’d been the last in-person contact Gavin had with any of his family. He’d been spending most holidays with Porter or other friends, anyway.

  That had been the worst part of being in Costa Rica, all the holidays he celebrated alone because he couldn’t bring himself to accept invites to his coworkers’ celebrations.

  Especially Christmas. Instead, he’d spent two hours that evening on a video Skype call with Porter, talking and even video sexting before finally saying good night.

  Then he’d cried himself to sleep.

  He blinked back tears now as he stood there, his appetite vanished.

  Dammit, I fucking miss him.

  When would it stop hurting so bad?

  Chapter Ten

  Something about the move triggered dreams—nightmares—in a way Porter hadn’t had them in a while.

  Or maybe it was because of his last conversation with Gavin.

  He didn’t know. His first day at his new job was great, but he was still…struggling in private.

  But following another restless night plagued by dreams of Gavin and of Dane, Porter started Tuesday morning, only his second day working there, having to also juggle the office phones and dealing with customers because their administrative assistant, Emily, was out with a kid sick with strep, and Kevin was out of the office because his sister was in a car accident over in Miami yesterday and was in the hospital. She’d make it, but she’d be in for at least a week, and she and her husband had three young kids. So Kevin and his wife drove over to help out.

  What a pain in the ass. Emily being out, not Kevin.

  But it wasn’t like they wanted Emily in the office passing that shit around, even if she’d had someone else who could take care of her daughter for her today. Apparently, the disease was making its way around her daughter’s school, because quite a few kids were either out with it, or being sent home early. It also meant Porter wasn’t getting nearly as much done as he’d hoped today, he was still struggling to orient himself to the place, and he was having to people far more than was safe with his already strained patience.

  A little before eleven, Jim, one of the mechanics, walked in. “Any idea where my part is? The sensor for the Skyhawk? FedEx was supposed to deliver it first thing this morning. Customer just called my cell and climbed up my ass, wanting to know why his plane’s not done yet. Flying up to a conference in Tennessee this afternoon or something. When we ordered it yesterday, they said they’d overnight it.”

  Porter arched an eyebrow at him. “Why’d you give the customer your personal cell number?”

  Jim laughed. “Because apparently I’m a dumbass. I’ve been working on the guy’s planes for years, though, even before I worked here.”

  “Let me find out where it’s at.” He logged into Emily’s computer, where the business’ main e-mail account was checked, to get the tracking number. Plugging that into the browser meant…

  “Dammit.” It showed it’d been delivered nearly an hour ago, but not to their address.

  Jim was looking over his shoulder. “Oh, those stupid jerks. They did it again.”

  “Did what?”

  “I bet they delivered it to Addleson. You know, the helicopter place.” He waved his hand toward the north-east. “Over on the other fricking side of the property. Over in one of those buildings fronting Tallevast. What a pain in the ass. You’d think those jerks would at least fucking call us. When we have a substitute driver, it never fails they end up with our stuff, or we end up with their stuff. Their street number is nearly the same as ours, last two digits are reversed. Happens all the time, but they usually call us right away, if we don’t catch the driver before they leave. We call them when we get their stuff.”

  Except they hadn’t received anything from FedEx yet today.

  Porter glanced out the front window, where he could see US41. Between all the construction and snowbird traffic, it was at a standstill right now. It’d literally take him an hour to circle the damn airport property. “Dammit.”

  The mechanic shook his head. “Take the Beast and use the service road. You won’t have to go out in traffic. It’s registered with the airport.” He reached over and snagged a set of keys from a hook under one of the shelves on Emily’s desk for the old, battered Ford company pickup they used to run errands. “Here.”

  “Good idea.”

  After Jim showed him on a map of the airport where he could drive, Porter grabbed a radio and headed out, making sure his name badge was facing out and visible.

  With the driver’s window rolled down, he drove onto the service road and slowly made his way around to the other side of the sprawling property. At least with the company’s logo on the truck he didn’t have to worry about hassles from security. Just one quick checkpoint, where the guard verified his security badge before waving him through.

  Not even five minutes from when he’d left, he was pulling up outside the building that housed Addleson Aviation. He took a deep breath at spotting two helicopters chocked and tied down out back by the hangar area.

  Any time he saw or heard a chopper now, he automatically thought of Gavin. He couldn’t help it.

  It’ll take a long time to get him out of my heart.

  If ever.

  Even if things weren’t fixable between them, okay, fine. At the very least he’d like to know what the hell it was Gavin thought he did wrong so he’d be aware of it and could apologize, or try to make amends.

  Yes, Gavin had issues. Who the hell didn’t? Gavin had been through a shitstorm with his father, then his ex, and Porter understood Gavin had triggers and trust issues.

  That’s why he’d done his level best, the closer they’d grown over the years, especially once they’d moved from friends to lovers, to not do anything that’d trigger Gavin.

  Or so he’d thought.

  Fuck.

  He shut off the truck and got out, scanning the area. Not immediately spotting anyone outside, he headed inside through their front door, into the lobby.

  On the floor inside the small lobby sat a huge stack of what looked like freshly delivered boxes. The elderly woman manning the front desk looked up from her magazine and smiled. “Hello.”

  Porter immediately tempered and toned back his irritation. He pasted a smile on his face as he walked over to the counter and held up his ID badge, where it hung from a lanyard. “Hi. I’m Porter Hutchinson, from over at Sunbay Aviation, and—”

  “Where?” She squinted up at his badge.

  “Sunbay Aviation. We’re—”

  “I’m sorry, hon. I don’t know any of the companies around here. My daughter had to take her son to the doctor this morning. He woke up with a bad sore throat. They think probably strep, because several kids in his class have it. She asked me to come in and answer the phones for her this morning.”

  Porter fixed his smile firmly in place as he took another deep breath and tried again. “I’m the head mechanic over at Sunbay Aviation. We’re located over on the other side of the airport, off 41. And—”

  “Oh, I absolutely hate driving on 41 this time of year, don’t you?”

  “Yes, ma’am. But I—”

  “All these snowbirds. It’s worse this year than ever. You’d think they would’ve waited until summer to do that construction. Like I told my daughter—”

  “Ma’am.” He smiled and pointed at the pile of boxes. “I’m pretty sure FedEx accidentally delivered a part to you that should’ve been delivered to us, and we really need it. We have a very cranky customer who needs their plane ready today.”

  “Oh, they did?” She finally pushed her chair back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even look at the boxes. I just signed that little electronic thingy where the driver told me to.” She moved slowly, stiffly, like she might fall over if she leaned too far to one side or the other.

  He stepped out of her way as she walked over to the boxes. “Now, let’s see.” She picked up a box off the top of the pile and studied it.

  It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to snatch it from her hand and look at it himself.

  This would be funny if he wasn’t in a hurry.

  Or if it wasn’t a helicopter company.

  Why’d it have to be fucking helicopters?

  Couldn’t be an avionics company, or a flight school, or any-fucking-thing else, could it?

  As he started looking, however, he realized all these boxes bore UPS labels and stickers.

  “Ma’am,” he said nearly five minutes later while she was still on the third package. “These are all UPS. Where did your FedEx shipment end up?”

  “What?”

  “FedEx. Guy in a big brown truck brought you these. Where are the others?”

  “Oh, maybe one of the mechanics grabbed those. Come to think of it, there were some smaller ones out here before, and one of the mechanics came out and took all of them out back.”

  Fake smile. Faaaaake smile. “Okay, ma’am. Could you please go ask them for me? We really need to track down that part.”

  She pointed at a door over her shoulder. “They’re out that way. You can go ask them.” She smiled. “You can probably make it out there faster than I can, anyway. I’m sorry.” She pointed at his badge. “They all have badges like that. I’m sure it’s okay if you go out there. They won’t mind.”

  Normally, unless he knew the people at a place, or was escorted by someone, he wouldn’t do that.

  Today, however, he’d make an exception.

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.” He scooted past her and through the door, which led to a short hallway. The last door was the magic one and opened into their hangar bay. An older guy was working on something on a workbench, and Porter aimed for him, holding out his hand as he walked up.

  “Hi, I’m Porter Hutchinson from Sunbay Aviation. FedEx apparently delivered something of ours to you by accident, and we really need it. The very nice lady out in the lobby showed me the UPS boxes and said she thought someone brought the FedEx shipment out here.”

  The older man looked up, chuckling as he shook with him. “Morris Travis. Nice to meet you. You new? Haven’t met you before.”

  Porter didn’t want to be rude. “It’s only my second day. I’m their new head mechanic.”

  “Ah, and you still drew the short straw?” He smiled.

  “Well, both our administrative assistant and our GM are out of the office with family emergencies today, so yeah, I drew the short straw.”

  “We’ll be seeing a lot of each other, then.” Morris scratched his head. “I didn’t snag the pile, and I think all our guys are at lunch right now.” Morris glanced around then turned toward the open hangar door where, out on the apron, a guy’s legs were visible outside what looked like a Bell 412. He had a small work cart next to the helicopter, and on it, Porter spotted some small boxes and padded mailers.

  Bingo.

  Morris pointed. “Maybe Gavin grabbed it by mistake.” He laughed. “He’s new around here, too.”

  Porter had already taken a step toward the open doorway when he nearly stumbled.

  That has to be a coincidence, right?

  “Um, thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  Porter felt his pulse race as he tried to talk himself down the closer he drew to the helicopter.

  It’s not him. It will not be him.

  In fact, Porter tried to come up on the guy’s blind side, hoping to simply snag the package and turn and run without even saying anything to him.

  Unfortunately, from the sun’s angle Porter cast a shadow into the cabin as he approached, and the guy stood and turned.

  He wasn’t sure who was more shocked, him or Gav, when they stared into each other’s eyes.

  Chapter Eleven

  Gavin’s first instinct had been to want to throw himself into Porter’s arms and kiss him. The guy looked like hell, dark circles under his eyes and wearing a grief-stricken expression that appeared even worse than the day they’d said good-bye at TIA.

  He’d even taken a step toward Porter when he pulled himself up short and his brain struggled to make sense of this.

  How the fuck did he find me? “What the hell are you doing here?” Gavin demanded.

  Then Porter looked down, at the cart, at the FedEx packages there, parts Gavin had been waiting on for this job.

  Porter rooted through them, coming up with one and holding it up. “This is ours,” he hoarsely said. “Delivered by mistake.” Gavin realized he was turning to leave.

  “Wait!” Grief that Porter wasn’t pulling him into his arms for a hello kiss swirled with confusion and anger that he just showed up out of nowhere, and—

  Oh. He spotted the SRQ security badge on the lanyard around Porter’s neck.

  Porter stopped, but had stepped back.

  This just wasn’t computing. Gavin wasn’t able to formulate a coherent thought. “Why are you…here?”

  “Old friend offered me a new job,” Porter quietly said. He didn’t even sound right, sad, like he was close to tears. “Making twenty grand more a year. It’s my second day.” He eased back another step.

  Gavin took a step toward him, unable to help it, hating himself for how much he wanted to throw himself into Porter’s arms. “Why did you do it?” he asked. “Why?” He sniffled back the tears that were bound and determined to escape. “That’s all I want to know. Why?”

  Confusion filled Porter’s face. “I just told you—it was twenty grand more a year. It’s what I was going to talk to you about that afternoon when you called me. I was on my way out the door to meet Kevin Axelrod and the owner for dinner here in Sarasota to discuss salary and other terms.”

  Anger struggled for dominance once more. “That’s not what I’m talking about! You lied to me!”

  “What? When?”

  “You were at the fucking Toucan that weekend, and you told me you were home when I called you. Don’t bullshit me, Porter!”

  More confusion filled Porter’s expression, triggering fear in Gavin. “I spent Friday night at the Toucan, yeah. But I left early Saturday, after breakfast, and drove home.”

  Gavin blinked. “What?”

  “I was in a shitty frame of mind and wasn’t in the mood to be there. It worked out for the best, because Kevin called me to come talk to them to discuss this job. I didn’t lie to you. I wish you’d tell me what happened, Gav, I—”

  “You fucked Jayce, okay? That’s what happened. Then he messaged me and said you were there that weekend, so stop fucking lying to me. Worse, you didn’t even have the fucking balls to tell me you were fucking him!”

  He watched Porter’s gaze narrow, his brow furrowing even deeper in confusion. “What?”

  One of those tingles, intuition, tried to settle in Gavin’s brain and put the brakes on his tirade, but he wasn’t having it. He shoved it aside, ignoring it, wanting his moment of outrage—finally. “Don’t fucking what me, Porter. Jayce told me everything.”

  “Jayce? You mean Jayce Dugger?”

  “Well, who the fuck else would I mean, Porter? You didn’t think he’d tell me? We’re friends. At least someone’s honest with me,” he added in a mutter.

  Gavin wasn’t sure he liked the deeper gear Porter’s voice dropped into.

  Dom-tone.

  Because when Porter started hitting those deeper registers, that was one of the easiest ways for the Dom to short-circuit every last cell of common sense in Gavin’s body. He could never resist Porter in full-on Dom mode, and had never wanted to, either.

  “Jayce told you what, exactly?”

  Gavin screwed up his courage. “You and I had a deal, Porter. If we got into something long-term and serious with someone, we’d tell the other.”

  “Yeah? And?”

  Gavin no longer felt as certain of his outrage as he did before. “You don’t think you should’ve told me about Jayce?”

  “I’m still waiting for you to tell me about Jayce. I only played with the guy one damn time, because you asked me to. I wish I hadn’t even done that. But you asked me to, so I did despite my better instincts. Then, it was every time I turned around, he was like a goddamned cockroach stuck to the bottom of my boots. I couldn’t get rid of him. Only reason I didn’t tell him to go fuck himself sooner was because he is your friend and I promised you I’d be nice to him.

  “I dodged him at the Toucan that weekend on Friday. On Saturday morning he tracked me down at breakfast and asked me to play, again, and I told him no, I was never playing with him again. That’s why I left the Toucan early—I didn’t want to deal with him on top of how much I was missing you. I was checked out and heading home before ten that morning.”

  The tingle was rapidly turning into a full-on earthquake as horror washed through Gavin. “What?”

  The furrows in Porter’s brow deepened. “What?”

  “You…you haven’t been fucking Jayce?”

  One good thing about ten years of friendship was that Gavin knew Porter had no poker face.

  Absolutely none.

  The man’s brow was so furrowed now it looked like fifty acres of freshly-plowed field. “Fuck Jayce? Jayce Dugger?”