This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  World Castle Publishing, LLC

  Pensacola, Florida

  Copyright © Kathi S. Barton 2023

  Paperback ISBN: 9781960076427

  eBook ISBN: 9781960076434

  First Edition World Castle Publishing, LLC, March 13, 2023

  http://www.worldcastlepublishing.com

  Licensing Notes

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

  Cover: Karen Fuller

  Editor: Karen Fuller

  Chapter 1

  The slap to Clay’s back had him turning around to see who had hit him. His temper flared so quickly that he was sure had he had a gun, he would have killed the person behind him. When he saw his brother Trevor there, he had to shake off his anger before speaking. It was the most difficult task he’d ever set for himself. And that had been happening a great deal lately, too.

  “What’s wrong, Clay? Why are you looking at me like that?” Clay told his brother that he’d hit him. “I’d been saying your name for the last ten minutes, and you were off someplace. It looked like you were getting more and more pissed off the longer you sat there. What’s up with you lately? You act as if the world is against you or something.”

  “I don’t know. I feel pissed off all the time lately.” Trevor told him that he’d noticed that he’d been avoiding the family lately and asked him if that was the reason. “Yes. I don’t want to be in this mood, and one of you would hurt me for being pissy to you because I have no control over it. I’ve been hurt enough over the last few days. My head is killing me, and I feel like I’m tense all the time. Then when I try to relax, I can’t because my body is too stiff and hurting. Like a never-ending loop of pain and stress.”

  “Yeah, mom told me about Martin Jameson and his split personalities. To think that he’s been dealing with that all his life, and it had to take him coming to work with you for him to be deemed dangerous. I’m sorry, Clay. It’s a scary thing, mental illness. Especially if you’re not up on your meds the way he was supposed to be.” He asked his brother what he wanted. Even he could hear the snarl in his voice when he spoke to him. “Okay, first of all, take it down a notch. I’m here because mom sent me. Don’t bite my head off for no reason.”

  Clay had to stretch his neck to shake off hitting his brother. He walked away from him rather than engage to the point of anger again. It wasn’t until his brother put his hands on his shoulders that he realized something was seriously wrong. He’d been looking for a reason to turn and kill his little brother. Clay sobbed that he was going to die.

  “No, you’re not. You’re going to be all right, and I’m going to be by your side until we know what is going on and get it taken care of. I’m going to take you to the hospital right now, and we’ll see what is going on. We’ll just keep it between ourselves until we know anything. Maybe it’s something as mild as an ear infection or something. We’ll go, find out and then we’ll go from there.” Agreeing to go was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. While he wanted to be angry with his brother, he knew he’d just knock the shit out of him and take him anyway. He told him that. “You’re so right on that. There is something off about you, Clay, and I’m worried about you. If it takes me knocking you out to get you help, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

  In less time than he thought it should have taken, they were in the emergency department. Since there didn’t seem to be anyone in the lobby, he was taken right back to one of the rooms. After asking questions, most of which his brother answered for him, Clay could feel his temper getting the best of him, and he had to bite his tongue before speaking. He fucking knew how to answer his own health questions, damn it. But he didn’t say a word and held onto his bedrails so he’d not hit anyone.

  “I’d like to get a look at your entire body. I don’t think you have an ear infection, as your brother suggested, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. Once we get the Cat Scan back, we’ll have a better understanding, or at the very least, we’ll be able to rule a few things out.” He agreed with the doctor and was surprised that he was told he’d need an IV. “Also, Clay, I’d like to give you something to lower your blood pressure. It’s higher than I’d like, and there isn’t any sense in you suffering when you don’t have to. It might also take the edge off the headaches you’re having at the same time. All right?”

  He was given meds to calm him down, and Clay felt his body relaxing, and just as he said, his headache began to lessen. Once he was feeling good, he was taken to get his scan. Trevor said he’d be there in the room waiting for him when he returned. True to his word, he was sitting in the chair watching television when he was finished being scanned. Clay started to sob he was so relieved that he’d not left him. Trevor asked him if he had heard anything. Again, his temper flared up.

  “I just got back. Do you think they just told it all to me coming down the hallways on what they were able to find?” Counting to ten, he told his brother he was sorry. “I hate feeling like I’m ready to kill someone. All the fucking time.”

  “I’m glad that you agreed to come in, Clay. I’m seriously worried about you.” Trevor held his hand while he dozed in and out of sleep after getting another dose of medication. He knew, too, that he’d not been sleeping all that well and was glad for the meds to allow him to be out. When he woke once, Trevor was gone. He wasn’t angry this time, but he did wonder where he’d gone. As soon as he came into the room, having gone to get something to eat, Clay realized that it had been a couple of hours since he’d had his scan.

  “I was talking to one of the nurses in the cafeteria. She said the hospital has been running so much better since Pauly was fired. Not to mention, she said that the raises that they were promised are coming through and backdated. They’re thrilled, as you can imagine.” He said that he was happy for them all. “You’re looking a little tense again. I’m wondering if the drugs are wearing off.”

  “I feel tense again. Like, I want to bite your head off. You’ve not done anything yet, here I lay wondering if I could snap your neck without having to move much.” Trevor asked him if he wanted to kill him. “No. Not kill but just hurt you. That’s not like me. Not at all. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think of shit like that.”

  “No, it’s not like you.” A nurse came in and gave him more of the same medication that he’d been given before. As he began to mellow out, the doctor came to speak to them. First, he asked if it was all right if Trevor was there.

  “He’s responsible for me being here, so yes, I want him here.” Grabbing his brother’s hand, he looked at the doctor. “Is it bad? I mean, I don’t want to tell you that I can take it because, frankly, I’m terrified out of my mind right now.”

  “We found something on your brain. We’ll have to run some tests on it to see what we’re dealing with. However, I don’t think it’s cancer.” Clay wanted his parents. Right now. Asking the doctor if he could hold off on talking to them until their parents arrived. He nodded. “I was going to suggest that, but I didn’t want to step on your toes. You were smart to agree with your brother about coming in here, Clay. As I said, I don’t know what we’re dealing with right now, but it’ll help you to have your family here to help you cope.”

  Mom and dad showed up in twenty minutes. They’d been out, going to dinner, when Trevor called. He’d not realized that he’d called his brothers until they started showing up one at a time. Even Jade and her mom came into the room with them. Eventually, they were moved to another, larger room, and everyone, including him, where seated around a large conference table. His scans were put on a monitor so that everyone could see them.

  Clay could see the mass in his head. It was just above his ear and seemingly large. He felt his anger and other emotions begin to take hold of him when his mom put her hand on his. That was all it took for him to regain control. Christ, he was a mess right now.

  “As you can see here, there is a mass along the left side of his face. The darkness around it is approximately two centimeters. When he’s stressed, as he was when he came in, it presses against the amygdala triggering his emotions. It could well have been fear or any other emotion, but anger is the one that is making its presents known to all of you around him.” Jade asked him why no one had seen it when he’d been in the hospital yesterday when Martin had punched him in the face. “I don’t think they were looking for anything other than to make sure that there were no cracks in his skull. Which there isn’t. But I went and had a look at the other scan that they did, and it’s visible. We’re lucky that Trevor here knew something was off about his brother and made sure that he was brought in.”

  Clay looked over at Jade when she said his name quietly. Clay felt the tears of stress start to roll down his cheeks. He told her that he was beyond terrified right now and didn’t know what to do.

  “You’re going to do as your told, and we’ll get you fixed up.” He nodded. “No, you don’t believe me. Say it, Clay. You’re going to be just fine, and we’ll all work together to help you with this. All right?”


/>   “Yes. I’m going to be just fine, and I’ll do what I’m told.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I needed that, Jade. Thank you. I just thought I was going through a phase or something.”

  “You’re much too young to be hitting your menopause, Clay.” He told her he thought it was a mid-life crisis when you were male. “If you give me any shit, you’re going to wish for it to be a crisis and not another injury.”

  Clay couldn’t help it. He laughed. Drawing attention to himself in the process, he waved the others back to the conversations. For the first time since he started having these unwelcomed meltdowns, he did believe that he was going to be all right.

  “I have a surgeon coming in tomorrow to evaluate you, Clay. I’m going to put you on a clear liquid until midnight. Then, if he thinks it’s what I’m telling you, he’ll do the operation at that time. While it’s not life or death that it happens soon, I’m sure you and your family want to get this over with so you can get on the mend.” He was all for that and agreed with the doctor. “All right then. We’ll set you up in a room on the surgical floor tonight, then you’ll be taken back there after recovery. You’re going to be fine, young man. We’ll keep you on the medications you’ve been taking so you can rest well.”

  Trevor left him before his parents did. They wanted to spend the night, but the doctor said they’d be better in their beds tonight so that they’d be rested up so that tomorrow wouldn’t feel so stressful because they’d be approaching it with a good night’s sleep in their own bed. Clay didn’t want to argue with him about someone staying with him, but his parents were going to need to sleep. He even gave them a little bit of a relaxant to take when they got home.

  It was nearing midnight when he’d had all the tests he’d need in the morning. Trevor came into the room with a knapsack. Taking out an air mattress as well as a sleeping bag and pillow, Clay cried for nearly an hour before he was able to get his emotions in check. His brother hadn’t left him alone. He didn’t know what he would have done if he’d not been there for him all along.

  “I came here to see you through this big brother. I’m not going to leave you here by yourself, no matter what the doctor says. I’ve eaten so I’d not tempt you with food and had plenty of drink. I’m staying right here until you’re ready to bust out of this place and head home.”

  The nurses were in and out of his room. A couple of times, he woke up to Trevor talking to them. By the time the sun was coming up, he’d already had his gown changed out and his hair put in some kind of netting. The doctor had seen his scan and saw no reason to put off the surgery. Clay’s family came in when they were giving him something more to make him relax. Clay could barely form words but thought he’d gotten it across that he was glad they were there.

  Being wheeled down to the surgical floor, Jade stopped them before he could get on the elevator. She kissed him on the mouth quickly and told him to behave himself, or she’d be the one cutting him open. He winked at her, about all he could manage at the moment, and she smiled. By the time he was put onto the table to be operated on, Clay was feeling his tension build back up.

  “No need for that, young man. I’ve got you. And I’ve done this kind of surgery a few times. You’re in good hands.” He nodded and asked how long it would take. “You’ll never know anything other than you’ll close your eyes, and when you open them, it’ll be over. Just you let me do the worrying, and you relax. I’m going to take good care of you, son. Trust me.”

  “Nervous.” He nodded over his shoulder, and Clay turned to look. There was a woman standing behind him dressed in so much paper that he could only see her eyes. “You have pretty eyes. I bet the rest of you are pretty too.”

  The woman laughed. Wiping his chin, she told him that he was drooling and that she was going to bump up his meds so that he could sleep. Clay felt the medication drift over him so much stronger than it had when he’d been getting medications from the nurse. He must have spoken out loud because beautiful eyes spoke to him.

  “I have the good stuff in here. You just breathe in and out, Mr. Strong, and you’ll be sleeping better than you have in a long time.” He tried to ask her what her name was. “Lizzy. Short of Elizabeth. And I don’t usually date the people that I have to work on. So keep that in mind when you wake up.”

  “Did I ask you out?” She nodded, and he felt himself drifting. It was getting hard for him to focus on anything until she told him to stop fighting it and let it work. “I’d like to have dinner with you soon.”

  As soon as he closed his eyes, there wasn’t any way for him to open them. Clay didn’t know what they were giving him, but it did feel like the good stuff. He was going to invest it in when he was awake, he told himself before there was nothing left of his thoughts.

  ~*~

  Jenson listened to the surgeon as he explained what he’d found when he’d cut open Clay. The doctor, Doctor Jamison Fields, said that Clay would be just fine after he woke up and that he would be going home tomorrow so long as he would do as he was told, nor did he have any side effects from the medications that had been used in surgery. It was their mom that said he would be on his best behavior. Then Jade said she’d knock him around if he tried anything stupid.

  “Having family support will be good for him. For all of you. As I was saying, it was fairly simple to remove. I looked to make sure that I got it all and sent it off for testing. I don’t believe that there is anything to worry about, but I don’t like to take chances with something on the brain.” Mom asked him what would happen if it turned out to be cancerous. “Let’s not build bridges that we’re not needing right now. Let’s just focus on what we do know. He’s a young, healthy man. Which is the best thing going for him. Clay has a good support system, and we’re going to leave it at that.”

  He wondered if the doctor knew that it wasn’t going to happen, to let it wait. Clay was his younger brother, and the very fact that he’d had to have surgery bothered him on all kinds of levels. Jenson wanted to talk to Trevor and ask him what made him bring Clay in. Trevor started speaking almost as if he heard his question.

  “When I went to see him in his office the other day, he was pissed off beyond what I thought was right for him. He was trying his best to hold onto his temper, but it would get away from him too. When I told him I was worried about him, he seemed to be relieved that someone was going to help him. I’ve never seen Clay like he’s been for the last few months and less since I’ve been out of town. I can tell you that I noticed right away that whatever was wrong with him was getting worse. I have to admit, when he agreed to go to the E.R. with me, I doubled my worrying.” Doctor Fields said that the headaches alone would have been crushing to him. And having his head hit the way he did might have made it worse. “I’m just glad that he agreed to go in. I told him that if he hadn’t, I had plans to knock the crap out of him and take him anyway.”

  “Good for you, young man.” They talked about other things that were going to be happening with Clay. It was unknown how long the mass had been there, but he explained that it might take him a while for the damage that had been done to go away. Jade asked him what sort of damage. “His hearing would have been affected. I’m not sure how much, but it was pressing against other parts of the area around his face and head. Clay might have lost a bit of his taste. With the brain, it’s difficult to tell what may have been giving him trouble when the mass started to enlarge.”

  He didn’t want to hear anything more, so he left the room. A nurse asked him if he’d like to sit in recovery with Clay while he waited for him to wake. That was the best news that he could have heard all day. After getting dressed in a gown and mask, he went into the room with Clay and sat by his bed.

  “You can touch him so long as you’re gloved, Mr. Strong.” He told her to call him Jenson. “I can do that. I was in surgery with your brother. I can answer questions you might have now if you’d like. I will admit that he asked me out. He also said that I had pretty eyes. I’ve been flirted with before, but he seemed so sincere about it.” She laughed nervously with him.

  He looked at her. “They’re very pretty. A sort of lavender, right?” She nodded and adjusted something on Clay’s IV. “I hate that this had to happen to him. Clay and I have always been close, and this tears me up that he’s going through this.”