“They’ll get used to you being there or they can go back to the cabin and forget about me.” I climbed out of the bed, feeling the twinge that would remind me all day that he’d been inside me just last night.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Yes, I do. Khalid, it’s simple. They take me as I am, with you at my side, or they can forget they have an older son.”

  He shook his head, obviously not totally convinced this was the way things should be handled, but he didn’t protest again. We dressed in silence, not really angry but not at ease as new lovers should be after their first night. The morning was warm and humid, the air thick and clingy. The grass was thick with dew, wetting my toes before they could be washed off in the creek. It felt odd to be on this side of the burbling water, looking at the back of our cabin in the bright red of a morning filled with sailor’s warnings.

  Khalid climbed down to the creek whispering something that only he could hear. I sat on the bank, my toes in the water, enjoying the fact that I wasn’t falling into a panic. Yes, I was edgy and uneasy, my mind eager to spin terrible scenarios about water rushing over my head, but it was manageable.

  “Why do you wash before you pray?” I asked, touching a mossy rock with my big toe as he splashed water onto his face after scrubbing his hands thoroughly. There was that precise manner of washing again. Everything done in sets of three.

  “It’s to purify the body before standing for prayer.” He crouched by the creek in his underwear, his white pants on the bank beside his prayer mat.

  That made sense. You should have a pure body before you talk to God.

  “Can’t you just wash in the shower before you pray?” A skipper floated past my foot, the insect balanced atop the water without a care in the world. I looked at the cabin where my family slept. Must be nice to be a bug.

  “Well, yeah, you can, as long as you follow the actions of wudu.” He rubbed water over his head and then ran a finger in his ears to cleanse them as well. “I just like it here, in the world that Allah made for us.” He glanced over his wet shoulder. I nodded. Yeah, I thought that I might like talking to God out here instead of in a church that was thick with incense and hypocrisy.

  Washing his feet was last. When he was done he joined me on the bank, his skin wet and his hair flat to his head. He wiggled into his baggy pants and gave me a funny sort of look.

  “Are you following me or doing your own thing?”

  “My own thing.”

  And so, we prayed, side-by-side, his prayers melodic and beautiful to my ears, me on my knees in the grass, Khalid on his fringed mat, both saying different words that were falling on the same divine ears. I’d not talked to God in a long time, and I had lots of things to pass along, mainly why I’d not talked to him for so long and how sad I was that it wasn’t God that had turned me away from his love. It was the people who served under him.

  Khalid sat beside me, his routine ending much faster than mine had, silent and still, watching me complete another Hail Mary. I caught his head moving out of the corner of my eye. Whispering an “Amen” I also looked over the creek to see my mother and brother standing on the bank. A ball of emotion lodged in my throat. I got to my feet, him doing the same, and we stood there looking at them looking at us. Then, I took his hand. My mother brought her fingers to her mouth. Dad was nowhere to be seen. An ache like a rotten tooth settled into my soul.

  Chapter Nine

  James kicked off his shoes and scurried down into the creek, picking his way across as quickly as he could, his knees and feet smeared with red clay mud after he scaled up our side. He walked to me, grabbed my hand, handed me the backpack he’d carried over that I slipped up over my arm, and then turned to face my mother. Tears welled up at the show of support from my annoying little brother.

  Mom toed off the tiny little pumps she’d slid on. She was wearing old shorts and a sleeveless top, a yellow shirt that was a favorite during the summer. Crying now, I watched her make her way to the creek, looking a little worried but resolute. Her feet were tiny. When she reached the side we stood on, Khalid shook free of my grip and bent down to offer her a hand. Then they both stood there, a beam of sunlight bouncing off the back of the man I loved, and my mother who gave him an unsteady hug.

  There were no words. How pitiful is that from a man who dreams of writing epic fantasy and science fiction tales? It took a few minutes for them to break apart. Mom looked embarrassed as she walked from Khalid to me, her arms open. James used his shirt to wipe his face. I went to her, settling my chin on top of her head, and held her to me. At least she had come to talk. Why hadn’t my father?

  We all sat by the creek bank, toes in the water, small minnows darting out from under the rocks, a cloud of black gnats suspended over the creek feeding two tiny brown wrens who streaked into the clump of insects then flew off again.

  “Dane, Khalid,” Mom opened with. Mom sat on my left, her fingers holding mine so tightly I was losing feeling in my fingertips, and Khalid on my right, his hand sitting in mine, his palm sweaty. James was on the other side of my mother. “I think I owe you both an apology. I never meant to sound so judgmental or disapproving. It was a shock hearing all of that at once.”

  “No offense taken, Mrs. Forrester,” he said politely. I glanced at him, trying to see where he was, but he’d schooled his features into passivity. His gaze was on the shifting leaves the first breeze of the day was gently shaking. “It’s a natural reaction of people to distrust what they’re unfamiliar with.”

  Mom nodded, sadly, her shame evident. “I’ll do better. I promise. I’ve always told my sons that I didn’t care who they brought home as long as she was a good woman who loved them.” I made a tutting sound. “Well, that was what I said, Dane. I never thought…well, I guess I never imagined my son would be gay. That wasn’t a scenario that ever popped into my head. I wish I’d been better prepared for a boyfriend to accompany that news.”

  “To be honest I never expected to tell you guys until after college,” I admitted. Khalid was sitting quietly at my side, his nearness bolstering my ability to speak as I wished—as I needed. “I thought it would take a few years to find someone who could handle the hot mess that I am.”

  “You’re not a mess. Not at all. You’ve got a brilliant mind and a beautiful heart, Dane.” Khalid said, looking at me. I brought his hand to my lips. We sat there for a little while longer, picking our way through the rubble of that tornado I’d unleashed into our lives. When it became obvious my mother wasn’t going to comment on the elephant in the room, I did.

  “Where’s Dad?”

  Her lips flattened as she moved her feet back and forth in the creek. “He got called into work.”

  “It’s the Fourth of July. No banker works on the Fourth of July.”

  She wrinkled her nose. James sat silent as a nun, looking at the water slipping with ease over small gray rocks.

  “That was what he told me. We had a rather vocal discussion about you and Khalid,” she spoke softly but firmly, a tone I knew well. It was her “I’m lying and we all know it, but I’m lying to protect you so do not call me out on it, Dane” tone.

  I glanced at James for verification and got a nod of the head. So, things had been ugly in that cabin last night. Guilt bit down hard, sinking its sharp teeth into me.

  “I’m sorry for making things such a mess,” I confessed. She squeezed my fingers and shook her head.

  “Dane, none of this is your fault. Your father just needs time to come to terms with this new you.”

  “But see this isn’t a new me, it’s the same me it was last week. It’s who I’ve been forever, Mom.”

  Khalid rustled around beside me, his head dropping to the side to rest on mine. He must be feeling so uncomfortable. If only there was some way I could ease all of this for him. If only people weren’t so damn stupid and distrustful.

  “Right. Yes, so James has explained to us. Me. Explained to me.” Mom’s face was tight with pain. She lowered her head, inhaled, and then lifted her chin and looked right at me. “I’m doing my best with this, Dane. Please give me time to accept this old you and your new…”

  “Boyfriend,” I stated with conviction, and Khalid nodded softly. He sat up straight then. “We’re dating, and we plan to keep seeing each other when we’re in school.”

  “This is awfully fast, isn’t it? I mean to be saying you’re committed to each other after just a couple of weeks?” Mom asked, her sight straying to Khalid and then back to me. “I’d be saying that if you were with a girl, so you can lose that look.”

  I worked on losing that look. “I loved him the first time I saw him.”

  “And you, Khalid? Did you love my son instantly as well? Or are you simply playing along with his infatuation to get into his pants?” I shot her a quick look. “What? Don’t glower at me, Dane. Someone has to ask these questions of the young man and since your father up and ran back to—” She drew in a loud breath through her nose. “I just want to know what your intentions are. You’re older than Dane is right?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m twenty.” He was so polite, so formal, so rigid.

  “Oh my God, Mom, this isn’t nineteen thirty-eight,” I gasped as degradation colored my cheeks. “Grilling him isn’t part of what this meeting was supposed to be about.”

  “No, Dane, it’s fine. Your mother has the right to ask these questions because she carried you under her heart and gave birth to you.” His eyes were warmer now, still a guarded look to his mouth, but his gaze was relaxed. “My intentions are to date your son and see if we can build a loving relationship that will endure. You asked if I loved him at first sight? No, but I was drawn to him instantly. The more time I spent with him the more I realized I wanted to be with him. Now…now I can’t imagine how I functioned without him. So, yes, ma’am, I love him.”

  She thought on that reply for a long, long time. Or perhaps it simply felt like a lifetime to me as I so wanted at least one of my parents to try to understand how much this man meant to me.

  “Okay.” She exhaled. “I still think you’re going too quickly but I also know that me telling you that will do nothing to slow you down. I want to warn you both about giving your love so rapidly but then I remember how magnificent that first love is. How it becomes all you are, all you can think about, all you want to live for. So, instead of warning you about the bad things, I think I should remind you that love is patient and kind and rejoices in the truth. Make sure you’re honest and patient and truthful with each other.”

  “Thank you for being here.” My arms went around her. More crying happened and then some awkward dabbing at faces and blowing of noses.

  “Your father will come around,” she whispered to me while we dusted off our shorts and said goodbye. She had a lot of faith. More than me. “Are you coming back to our cabin?” Mom enquired as nonchalantly as she could, but I knew better. She was begging me with her eyes. “If you’re not comfortable with being back I can send over some clean clothes.”

  I looked at Khalid rolling up his mat. He lifted a shoulder as if to say “Do as you wish. I’m with you no matter the decision.”

  “Tonight, after the fireworks, as long as Khalid is welcome.” In the deepest part of my heart, I wanted to stay with Khalid for the few short weeks we had left, but I knew that was impractical. He had a roommate who’d already gone above and beyond for our cause. And the management would probably get mad if I made the staff cabin my new home. I didn’t want to see Khalid get into trouble.

  “He’s more than welcome.” Mom hugged me again.

  She stepped back and patted my cheek before sliding on her backside down into the creek. She started across, waving with every step, shouting in fright when her foot slid out from under her and she nearly went to her ass.

  “Oh, shit, James! Don’t let me fall!” Mom yelped, her arms flailing.

  James held out his hand to Khalid. They shook. And then he offered me his hand. I took a fast hug instead.

  “My brothers, you two are epic.” He gave us a wink and then barreled into the creek to grab our mother before she went to her ass.

  “He called me his brother,” Khalid said as we made our way back to the lodge so he could change into trunks and get ready for a long, hot day at the pool. “Your brother did. That was…quite lovely.”

  I agreed. It had been lovely. If only Dad had been there…

  Back in the room, I sat on the edge of the bed, felt the reminder of last night and drank in Khalid’s body as he changed into trunks. I shrugged the backpack off and set it on my lap, curious about what was inside. Knowing my brother, it could have been anything from a gag gift to a six-pack of candy bars. I would have never guessed that he would bring me my laptop. Not clean socks or underwear or even some condoms which I hoped someone in this room would purchase soon, along with some lube.

  “You going to try the pool again?”

  “He brought me my laptop,” I said even though he could clearly see me holding it. “Oh no, I think I’ll write today. Maybe sit along the fence in the shade where I can smell the chemicals in the air that will remind me of your skin all day long.” I hugged my laptop.

  “Guess I’ll have to toss down with a Dell for your affections then.” He handed me a large yellow tube of sunscreen. “Rub some on my back?”

  Laying aside my other love, I stood, took the banana yellow tube and squeezed a huge dollop into my hands. Then, even though it made him about ten minutes late, I worked that lightly-scented cream into his back, his arms, his legs, his stomach, and his neck. When my hands roamed up his pant leg as I knelt before him, he danced to the left before I could get my greasy hand around the firm length of his cock.

  “You can’t want more,” he stated, skipping out of my reach.

  “I do,” I professed, getting to my feet while rubbing the excess sunscreen into my forearm. “I’d take you right now, on that bed, and be all kinds of slow-handed about it.”

  He slid on some shades after tugging a loose white tank top over his head. “You’d take me is it?” I lifted a shoulder as I rubbed. “Right well, maybe that can be arranged.”

  With that suggestive idea locked in my head, we went to the pool, where a pack of kids were waiting and whining. I got a warm caress of his hand along my arm, and then it was me and my laptop for the next eight hours. That sounds like an incredibly long time to be by yourself but for an author who is walking on sunshine, eight hours with his work is nothing. I found a comfortable spot under several old pine trees, my ass in a nook between some roots, and I began adding more to Odom and Cyran’s love story. Now that I’d had a man inside me, I could write with knowledge about the act of making love.

  Shifting every so often to alleviate the reminder of that act was okay, I enjoyed the tenderness. Call me sick if you want but each intimate ache was a sign that I’d been one thing yesterday, and now I was this new thing. No longer an innocent, Dane was now seasoned. Like a slab of lamb after someone gives it a thick rub in turmeric, cumin, paprika, and coriander. That made me chuckle. I added it to the story, giving Odom and Cyran lamb chops for their dinner after they’d fallen into bed and pleasured each other all afternoon long. I wrote over five thousand words in that sprint, stopping only to look at Khalid when I needed sexual inspiration, wiggle, stretch, or pee. Three times some kids came running up to me, swimsuits dripping, to throw a bottle of water at me and then race back to the pool.

  It was then that I’d actually heard the shouts, shrieks, and splashes. I’d smile through the fence at Khalid sitting in his chair or find him handing things to swimmers or using his whistle to calm down the rowdy ones. Amazing how creatives can disappear into the work.

  At three, he was relieved by Drew and jogged around the fence to sit down beside me. I smiled at him, reached for his leg, and ran my hand down it all the way to his feet, sliding my fingers between the sole of his foot and his sandals. He had a high arch. The skin under it was smooth and soft.

  “You hungry?” he asked as his back sank into the coarse bark of the pine. “Must be. We’ve not had a bite all day. Let’s head to town, borrow Evonne’s car, and find some pizza. I could tuck into one of those veggie lover pies.”

  “Okay.” We sat there for a while though, him growing plaint as I rubbed his arch and played with his long toes. Our stomachs snarled in tandem, pulling snickers from both of us. Khalid rose and pulled me to my feet. We went to his room so he could change while I gathered my stuff that had been scattered around.

  “I never thought I’d be scared to go back home, not that the cabin is home but…” I said as we walked to the bridge, my backpack feeling uncommonly heavy.

  Khalid took my hands, spun to face me, and guided me over the water, humming our song and leaning in to swipe a stolen kiss time and again. My body reminded me that water was flowing under us with a sudden onslaught of cold sweat that dotted my upper lip. A pack of kids, fresh from the pool, charged by, yelling like banshees as Mom would say.

  “Bloody urchins,” Khalid muttered under his breath, totally breaking the spell anxiety had been wrapping me in.

  “That sounded like a line from a Dickens novel,” I teased, my fingers biting into his hands as he pulled me gently along.

  “That was what I was hoping for.” He led me safely to the other side, swung me around until I was dizzy, and then kissed me as I stood against the signpost leaving me breathless and aroused.

  “Can we fuck again tonight?” The question fell out of me while he nibbled on my lower lip. It was wonderful to be able to do this, kiss and touch each other, in public. In all my fantasies about coming out, I had never even been close to the glory that having a free spirit felt like.

  “You’ll be sore.” He skittered away from me, took my hand, and set off at a brisk pace to catch the shuttle. Today there were more of them running than usual. We arrived at the shuttle stop, breathless, giggling, and so much in love, I felt bad for the people looking at us for they had to be envious of our romance. Who wouldn’t be? All those old married couples who had forgotten the exhilaration of a new lover’s touch on their flesh…