Two weeks later, I was in my dorm at the University of Pennsylvania, stunned to my core to have actually moved out of my parent’s house. Mom had cried even though I was a fifteen-minute car ride away. James and Gloria—a cute girl with long dark hair and a warm smile who seemed to be surgically attached to my brother—were in awe of the campus as well as my dorm room. My father congratulated me and handed me a coffee maker. We still didn’t touch or talk, not really, so I guess the coffee pot was a kind gesture. It felt cold to me but my roommate, Cliff, who was studying to be a dentist, assured me a coffee pot was a fantastic gift. When August rolled into September, I saw just how amazing a present a coffee pot could be for a college student.

  College was nothing like high school and not nearly as glamorous as I’d envisioned. Khalid was still in Bushkill, torn between his duty to his mother and his desire to be his own man. The first weekend of October was when he could finally break away to visit, and that was only because his aunts had arrived from the UK to be with his mother during her four month and ten-day mourning period. I wanted to skip all my classes on the Friday he was going to arrive, but I didn’t dare. When my last class, Approaches to Genre, of the day ended, I bolted out of the lecture hall with my laptop under my arm and my backpack full of books thudding on my back and ran to my dorm. Skidding into the high-rise housing building, I saw him waiting for me, bag by his feet, sipping from a styrofoam cup of coffee from the coffee house right by the campus. When his gaze met mine, I could feel the cosmos shift and shudder.

  The strain of his life melted from his face. His smile appeared. That blessed smile. I threw my laptop to a nearby sofa and launched myself at him, my mouth crashing down onto his. He linked an arm around me, his lips parting as he drew in a shaky breath. I lapped my way into his mouth, my hands roaming up his sides then down to his hips. The kiss righted the universe. His taste mixed with the rich strong coffee aligning my world again, setting things back on an axis that had been slanted for two months.

  “I missed you,” I cried when we came up for air. He kissed my mouth, his tongue rolling over mine, and we lost track of time and everything around us yet again. “Missed you, missed you so much.”

  “I thought I might die,” he whispered, his thick lashes tempting me, so I placed soft kisses to them, standing on tiptoe, his hand on my ass. “Is it possible to die from missing someone so much?”

  “Sure, people just pine away.” I rubbed his nose with mine, my fingertips slipping up under his coat and shirt, greedily seeking out warm flesh. Someone walked past and made a smart comment about rooms by the hundreds on the floors above us so why weren’t we using one. Khalid blushed. I took a step back, shaky and flighty. I couldn’t stop staring at him or smiling. “Let’s go to my room.”

  “That would be brilliant.” He bent down to pick up his duffel bag. I ran my hand over his back then up to his neck and then shoved my fingers into his hair. I could not touch him enough. He pressed a kiss to my cheek as we slipped into the elevator. Once inside, and alone again, I backed him into a corner for another taste. I’d been without for so long I felt the need to glut myself. He seemed to be feeling the same way for he met me stroke for stroke, hot breaths fanning my face, his cock pressed into my hipbone hard and eager. “God, you’re so beautiful…so tasty.”

  The elevator lurched, the doors opened, and we staggered out into the hall, trying to kiss and walk at the same time. We bounced off walls, giggling like toddlers, licking and lapping at each other’s mouths. Stopping outside my door, he shoved me into the jamb then nipped at my bottom lip sending a shudder of lust right to my balls.

  “Cliff is probably still here,” I panted, taking his hand in mine then laying it over my crotch. The pressure of our hands on my cock made me groan. “We’ll have to be cool until he leaves. Uh, shit…”

  “I’m a patient man,” he reminded me. A smile lifted the corners of my mouth as I stared into those glorious chocolate eyes of his.

  “A graciously patient man,” I whispered before grabbing one last kiss. We parted, got our dicks arranged to hide the massive erections under our coats, and sauntered into the small but homey room. Cliff was spread out over his bed, reading a textbook. He shot to his feet when we walked in, grabbing up his books and papers, an embarrassed grin on his face.

  “Sorry, man, I totally forgot your boyfriend was coming this weekend.” He shoved everything into a ratty old tote bag then paused to shake hands with Khalid. “I’ll just get my ass over to my girlfriend’s room.” He gave me a lecherous wink then slapped me on the back, taking his tall skinny self out of our room with only the clothes on his back.

  I followed Cliff to the door, shoving the lanky black man into the hall playfully. “No rush or anything but see you Monday.”

  “Don’t hurt yourselves now,” Cliff called as I shut and locked the door after giving him the finger.

  I’d barely turned to face Khalid when my back met the door so hard my head bounced off the wood gently. He apologized as he kissed me, his words melting into hot, heavy groans as he flattened me to the door. I pulled at his clothing like a man possessed, desire taking control of me, flooding my mind with pure lust. He pulled my hoodie up over my head, threw it aside, then fell back on me, licking deep into my mouth as he toyed with my nipples.

  He nibbled my lips then my chin, his teeth giving way to tongue and lips that moved down my throat. Sighing in bliss, I let my head fall to the side, my gaze falling to the big window that overlooked the campus and several city blocks. The sun was setting, night inking the horizon, and it was barely six p.m. I gasped when he suckled a spot along my jugular. I wiggled a leg between his. We moaned in unison.

  “I have stuff,” I stated breathlessly. That confession stirred the fire in Khalid. He pulled me from the door, dancing me to the bed, his fumbling jerky tugs making me laugh softly. His cheeks colored a bit as he helped me out of my jeans and briefs. “Good stuff. Lots of stuff.”

  “I want to love you forever, Dane.” He gave me a gentle shove to my bed then hurried to strip himself of every stitch. He looked a little leaner than he had been. Not eating well probably. Still he was firm and muscled. My mouth filled with saliva as I refamiliarized myself with his body. I sat up, took his cock in my hand, and led him to me. A flush of hot white desire speared me. I leaned up and ran my tongue around his head. “Oh hell,” he huffed, taking my head in his hands, he pumped into my mouth a few times. When he pulled away I followed his cock, not ready to give it up yet.

  “Got to stop.” He fell over me, pushing me back into the bed, his body lining up perfectly with mine. Sunlight the shade of a copper pot flowed into the room, the last five minutes or so of natural light. We’d not turned on a light. I wished that we had now. He kissed me roughly, grinding down into me. “It’s been too long.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I captured the moon and star pendant between my lips. I touched my tongue to it, the taste of metal and Khalid on my taste buds. “I’m close,” I cried out the medallion slipping from my lips. He rolled his hips. His weight now centered on our groins, and I came so fast it even startled me a bit. Khalid lowered his head as I spurt all over our bellies, his lunges slippery from my cum, he pumped hard then blew apart as well. I threw a leg over his back and slapped a hand to the back of his neck. He was so beautiful, his eyes closed as the sun fell on him, tinting his already golden skin a hue that only gods could attain. “I love you…”

  His eyes opened, and he looked down at me. “I love you too, Dane. So damn much. I will always love you. Always.” I tugged on his neck, needing his mouth on mine more than I needed food, water, or air. We lay there as the sun went down, using my shirt to wipe clean then snuggling under the blankets to touch and taste as our bodies calmed. When it was too dark to see each other, I left the cocoon for just long enough to flick on the light sitting on my desk, grab a box of condoms and a tube of lube out of my dresser, and then I shimmied back under the covers.

  “Will you fuck me?” he asked as we moved against each other under the blankets, both of us hard again. “I want to feel you inside me for a long time after I leave. Can you top for me this weekend?”

  “God yes,” I told him then levered him to his back. He was grabby and eager, lifting his ass from the bed, petting my arms and face as I hooked one of his long, firm legs over my shoulder. He pulled his other leg into his chest as I entered him, trying to be gentle and tender as it had been a long time for us. Khalid wanted none of that and demanded that I make sure he felt me inside him for days. I slammed into him. He cried out then urged me to do it again.

  “Love me hard. Make the fucking stars shake, Dane.”

  I rocked into him with a grunt, pulled out, and then plunged in again. This was the loving he wanted so I loved him as wildly and passionately as I could. He came before me, his hand coated with spunk he shoved his wet fingers into my hair as I moved inside him. My orgasm hit with intensity. I gyrated against him, trying to get deeper. He fisted my hair as he urged me on for more and deeper and longer.

  I pulled out quickly despite how he begged me to stay inside him. I hustled to the bathroom, flushed the condom, and splashed some water on my face and hair. Khalid was spread eagle on my bed, skin slick with sweat and semen, his dark brown eyes on me and only me as I grabbed my once-used T-shirt and cleaned the cum off his belly.

  “Want to go get something to eat?” I enquired after the stomach my hand rested on rumbled. “There’s a great pizza place a couple of blocks over. Great veggie lovers pie.”

  “I would love to eat with you.” He sat up to grab a kiss then he lifted the peace sign from my chest, his smile wistful. “I’m amazed this hasn’t turned your skin green yet.”

  “Wouldn’t matter if it did. I’m never taking it off.” I sealed that vow with a long, deep kiss that might have led somewhere were we not both starving and pretty well sated for the moment.

  “Hearing you say that makes me happy.” We snuggled for a bit and then left the bed to dress and go find food. Mama Poke’s was packed—as always on a Friday night—because they offered student discounts as well as a Friday Night UPenn sale on sheet pizzas. So yeah, they cranked out pies like mad. Khalid spied a little table by the window, and we wiggled through the crowd to claim it.

  We kind of spent some time staring at each other, smiling like dolts, and trying not to touch each other. With his foot resting on mine, we ordered a large meaty sheet, a pitcher of lemon-lime soda, and then returned to admiring each other. It felt kind of goofy after a bit so I tried to make some conversation.

  “Are you getting back to school soon, or are you skipping this fall semester?” I asked while pouring some soda into a red plastic cup filled with ice. He took the cup, his eyes losing some of that affection.

  “Can we not talk about that now?” His eyes lowered to his cup. “I’d rather we talk about fun things.”

  “Well, you going back to school is a fun thing, right?” His sight snapped back to me. “I mean…school’s not fun, you know, in that manner, but it would mean your life is slowly getting back on track.”

  He rapped his fingers on the side of his soda cup before he replied, “We’ll talk about me later. Let’s hear about your first year. Oh!” The odd pallor that had surrounded him lifted. “Tell me about Odom and his elf. You’re still writing on that one, yeah?”

  Sensing something was off but not wanting to ruin this wonderful weekend, I let his reticence slide and dove into talking about my book, which was, sadly, going slowly since all my free time was now sucked up with classes and the metric shit-ton of work each professor dumped on us. Khalid smiled and nodded, keeping me talking about my storyline and the adventures that awaited my two brave gay heroes all through dinner.

  When we went back to my dorm, we slipped under the covers, turned out the light, and had one insanely hot frot session that did us in. The bed was not nearly big enough for us both, but we snuggled close and made it work. I fell asleep in his arms, his long legs and mine all tangled up, my back against the wall. I slept the sleep of those who are blissed out. Not a dream disturbed me. No visions of failing classes or slipping into a rushing river. The river dream was a steady companion of mine, popping up when I was exceptionally stressed, which, in a nutshell, had been me since the first week of classes. The alarm on my desk going off pulled me out of the deep sleep that had claimed me. I rolled to the right, seeking him but he wasn’t in the bed. Eyes gummy, I lay there, my head on my bicep, “Icarus” playing on my radio, and watched Khalid pray. If I lived to be a hundred, I’d never tire of seeing him on his red rug with the glow of prayer and dawn’s light on his face. There was no suitable way to describe how his faith inspired me in mine.

  I’d not been to service once since leaving home. I probably would never return to my church. All of it seemed frivolous to me now. As Khalid had said over pizza once, how we live our lives is much more important than ancient laws written into a book by men.

  He sat on his mat, in nothing but a pair of lounge pants, his hair still damp, with his eyes closed, lost in that blissful moment of silence he always seemed to fall into after his morning prayer.

  “You’re the most beautiful living thing on this planet,” I whispered.

  A tiny smile pulled at his lips. He inhaled deeply through his nose, exhaled over pursed lips, and then turned his head to look at me.

  “Hardly.” He stood up smoothly, rolled up his mat, shoved it back into his bag on the floor, bent down to rifle through something on the floor, and then padded over to sit with me on the bed. The room was dark aside from the small light left on in the bathroom. The sun was sleeping in today as it loved to do when fall and winter were upon us. He presented my phone to me. I took it and dropped it on the bed, wanting nothing more than to lay here with his hip pressed into my belly and listen to the song that represented all he and I were to me.

  “Sorry that interrupted your prayers. I forgot to turn the alarm off. Seven o’clock Introduction to Creative Writing and Poetry every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

  He touched my face, his fingers bumping along my nose until he located my lips which he then traced with his index finger. I stopped talking and let my eyes drift shut.

  “I wish we could have this every day, Dane.” He replaced his fingers with his lips. My response was heated, my body pumping blood to a cock that had already been semi-hard. He rolled me to my back, his mouth moving over mine, tasting and licking, working his way over my chin to my throat. “I wish I could touch you like this every morning.”

  “Me too. God, me too.” I arched up into him, inviting him to do more, taste more, touch more. He shimmied out of his lounge pants, which made me harder and hotter. Welcoming him to me and into me with open arms, a moment later he rolled his hips as he went deeper and deeper, his tight grip on my ankles adding to the pleasure of the stretch and burn of him inside me. He rocked into me, I cried out softly, pleading with him. “Oh yes, please, yes. More. Deeper. Faster. More. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.”

  When I came he wrapped his hand around mine, tugging on my cock, working the thick fluid between his fingers. He traced my lips, slid his finger into my mouth, and let me suckle on his middle finger as he picked up his rhythm. His final stroke made me bite down on his finger, but he never withdrew, digit or prick, until his final tremors of release had subsided.

  “Kiss me,” I begged, clawing at him. He moved up and over me, dropping my ankles to bolster himself above me. He lowered his head and licked at my open mouth, his tongue tracing my lips, eager to find the residual taste of my spunk there perhaps. I smiled as he cleaned my lips then lifted my head to seal my lips to his. “I love you.”

  He sucked in a shaky breath. “Dane. I…shit,” he replied then left the bed and my body. He went into the bathroom and shut the door. I sat up, tenderly moved to the edge of the bed, the blanket and top sheet wound around me like an ancient Greek chiton, and I waited for him to emerge, a brick of unease resting on my chest. My bare feet were cold by the time he came out to face me and the new pinkish-orange sky touching the edges of night.

  “Are you breaking up with me?”

  “No, no, of course not.” He rushed to me, taking me into his arms, my cheek to his bare chest. I wanted to weep in relief. Khalid kissed my knotted hair. “No, Dane, I love you. It’s just that…” He pulled me closer. I let him for a moment then pulled back so that I could look up at him.

  “Tell me. Tell me now. What is it? Tell me before some terribly worse idea pops into my head.” I grabbed at his waist and shook him slightly. “Tell me.”

  He tugged me into his chest yet again, his heart thumping madly. Terror now beat inside my chest like a trapped raven, whipping itself into the bars of its cage, black feathers floating in the air then falling, dead and useless, to the cage floor.

  “We’re selling the business and going back to the UK.”

  It took a few ticks of the clock for that announcement to penetrate the fog of fear. For a second, I was relieved. He’s not dying! He still loves me! This is over! But no…wait.

  “I don’t—what do you mean? You mean your mother is selling the business and moving back to the UK. Not you.” The implication of his words now sliced into me. I jerked away from his arms, shoved at him, slid to the floor and got right in his beautiful, agonized face. “Tell me you mean she’s going back. Tell me, Khalid. Tell me!”

  “I can’t let her go alone, Dane. She’s so fragile without him.”