I brought her close to me now, kissing the top of her hair. I guess once it was all said and done Mickey was right about one thing.

  We’d both been through enough.

  Fortunately, I didn’t have to deal with anymore of that in regards to representation. At least for the time being anyway. I received quite a few offers as soon as the world caught wind I was a free agent, a luxury I didn’t take lightly. Currently, I was working with the guy who repped by buddy, Ryan. In fact, once I told them, both he and D spoke to their representation to ask if they could help me out until I decided on someone more permanent. All those talks would happen later though. Now, I needed to be here. This was where my mind needed to be.

  Roxie smiled, her cute cheeks pressed against my chest. “Your aunt is so funny.”

  “You see, you call her funny. But to Pop, he’s her worst enemy.” But I loved her for it though. Someone had to keep Pop in check. We couldn’t lose him. He couldn’t not be in our lives, my life.

  “He does need to rest though,” I told her, my thoughts lingering on how bad things could have turned out, and they could have been so much worse. “I just wish he didn’t have to go back to Carter’s.”

  His employer really had worked him to a point he almost couldn’t come back from. Construction was so hard on his body and it was a damn shame he never sought more for himself. His real talent went into design, projects I’d seen first hand around Gram’s property as well as small ones he’d done around our trailer growing up. His ability to manipulate wood spoke for itself. I once joked he should start his own business. I was young then, naive at eleven to the poverty and lack of opportunity around me, but I still remember how the suggestion brought something out of him, a light in his eyes.

  “Sometimes life goes a different way, Griff,” he’d said that day.

  I wondered if he’d be open to changing that direction now. I’d love to see him do it.

  Roxie brought me out of my thoughts, her yawning beside me and looking damn cute while doing it.

  I squeezed her to me. “Hey, now. You can’t be doing all that or you’ll get me going.”

  Her lips closed when she finished, pressing her fingers to her mouth with a smile. “Sorry.”

  “Nah, don’t apologize. I was just joking.” It was getting late in the day, and late afternoon, naturally made the body sleepy. I lowered my head kissing her nose, her cheek. “Do you wanna go take a nap? I like taking naps with you.”

  And we usually could get away with it, as my family didn’t question us upstairs in the daytime. It was funny we had to sneak even though we were living together. Being in the same room every night wasn’t really an option though. I didn’t want to disrespect my Gram.

  Roxie grinned like I hoped she would at the suggestion, but I covered it as I made it to her mouth, pressing harder, kissing faster. I wanted to save some of it for upstairs, kiss her until she fell asleep, so I stood, ready to take the party elsewhere. I held my hands out to her, which she took, but when I tugged she didn’t move. She actually tugged back, pulling at me to come back, and I retook my seat beside her, placing my hand behind her neck.

  I brushed a finger at the skin under her ear, smelling her sweetness as I leaned in. “What’s up? I thought we were napping.”

  She sighed, closing her eyes. “We can. We are. I just want to talk to you first.”

  I had no idea what about, but I didn’t mind. I always loved talking to her. Giving her the floor to do so, I sat up, but she didn’t start right away. Her gaze scanned the floor like she was considering what to say.

  “I think I know why I left,” she started, rubbing her legs. “Why I ran and went to my dad.”

  Dropping my finger from her neck, I got closer, ready to listen. I recalled quite well we hadn’t talked about her time away at all in these weeks. I didn’t want to open a door she wasn’t ready to talk about. Now, it seemed she was.

  “Why?” I asked her, wanting to know anything she felt comfortable enough sharing. Things with her dad were tumultuous at best, but she chose to go there. She had to have a good reason though.

  “Those things you said?” she paused looking up at me. “About me being fine? I didn’t want to hear. Because if you were right, that meant there was something wrong with me.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, baby.” I never wanted her to feel that way. Never. She was perfect in every way that she already was. That’s why I fell for her.

  That’s why I loved her.

  My words made her smile, her full lips turning up. “I know. But those words did scare me though, Griffin. And when you called out all the weight I lost… Put it all out there before me…” Taking a breath, she closed her eyes briefly before continuing. “It all just scared me so much. More specifically, what all you were saying meant for me, for you. I had to live with my mom, her condition every day, and I didn’t want to do that to you. I didn’t want to be a burden. That wouldn’t be fair to you. That wouldn’t be right.”

  I brushed my fingers down her arm, hating to hear these fears, and even more that I’d been responsible for the reason she’d been forced to look at them dead on. I hated it so much, but I didn’t stop her. She wanted to tell me something so I listened.

  “So when I started to realize, see that I did have a problem. That I do have a problem…” A tear moved down her cheek, which I rubbed away. I’d catch them all. “I don’t want to be my mom and the possibility absolutely terrifies me. I went to my dad thinking that’s what I deserved. I went to the one person who hurt me so badly because I wanted to be his problem. I couldn’t be yours. I couldn’t let myself be yours.”

  I pressed my hands to the sides of her neck and she closed her eyes as I kissed both cheeks, kissed away the tears. I did so for a while, and after I was done, I moved to her ear.

  “You’re happiness,” I told her kissing her ear. “So it’s never possible for you to be my burden or sacrifice. You’re my happiness, Roxie. You could never be anything else.”

  She nodded opening her eyes with a smile. “I went there ready to believe one thing, but ended up leaving with another.”

  I pushed her hair out of her eyes, admiring the large beauty of them. “What’s that?”

  “I believed that was it for me. My stopping point, him, but he told me something. He said I was strong and he said I’m not my mom. That I didn’t have to be.”

  Her tears started again, but I kissed her lips this time, taking in her warmth, drawing in her breath to combine with mine.

  “He told me to go home,” she whispered beneath my mouth. “You’re my home.”

  I smiled, pressing another kiss. “And you’re mine. I need you Roxanne Peterson. I need to love you. I can’t not love you.”

  I didn’t realize it before, but she was shaking, quivering in my arms while I embraced her and pressed her to me. I hope she could feel what I said. That they weren’t just words to me.

  She pushed arms under mine, squeezing herself to me and I kissed her harder. I couldn’t bring this girl close enough to me. Eventually, she made it into my arms, laying her head against my chest.

  “I decided something too,” she said, and I allowed her to pull away, gaze up at me. “I think I should see a counselor. A therapist to see regularly. You know, just to talk to.”

  Sniffing, she looked ashamed of that, glancing away, and I shook my head, pressing a hand to her face that she shouldn’t be, ashamed. People saw counselors every day and there wasn’t anything wrong with that.

  “I’ll support any and everything you do. And hey, maybe I should see one too. A separate one with you. Isn’t that what couples do before they get married? Marriage counseling or something?”

  I think my simplicity of the idea was what caused her to laugh. She shook her head, sniffing again. “You still want to marry me?”

  I took that hand with that ring I gave her and kissed it, right on the stone. “I gave you this ring because I want you. I want everything about you, Roxie. That’s why I asked and I’ve never wanted anything more. But I do have a question for you.”

  She tilted her head, her eyebrows narrowed. “What?”

  I kissed her hands, her ring. “Do you want to marry me?”

  The question caused her expression to drop, the light to leave her eyes, and I felt clarification was needed.

  I brought her closer, squeezing her hands. “I ask because I lost you. Somewhere along the way, I did, baby. You were going through all these things, all these things, and I had no idea, Roxie. And though, I know a lot of that had to do with me, being gone as I was, I can’t help thinking…”

  I paused a second, trying to figure out the best way to word what I had to say. I settled on this: “That you didn’t want me to know. That you weren’t ready. That you need time to let me in, and if you do, that’s okay. I’ll wait.”

  A memory hit me that I told her this before, back when we were dating. She was hesitant then, needing time, and I waited for her at that time, too. I’d do it again.

  I’d wait forever for her.

  Her hands went to the sides of my neck now, leaning her head down, and I kissed her forehead, waiting once again.

  “I’m not used to someone being there,” she said, breathing. “Someone not leaving. Someone that would stay.”

  I brought my arms around her waist and she lifted her head. Pushing her hand through my hair, I moved my mouth into her palm, kissing it.

  “I want to be yours like I’ve never wanted anything else, Griffin Chandler,” she said, tightening the lasso she already had on my heart. “I want to be yours yesterday, today, and every day after. And though I’m scared to ask you this, unworthy of asking you this, I need to.”

  I leaned my forehead against hers. “Anything.”

  She smiled, brushing my nose with hers. “Please be patient with me. If it ever gets hard… Just, please. Please…”

  She didn’t even have to ask.

  I brought her to me by the waist, warming her lips in the depth of a kiss. Pressing so hard, I didn’t even realize tears fell from her eyes. It wasn’t until I tasted them.

  “You still wanna marry me?” she asked again through her tears, opening her mouth to twist her tongue with mine.

  I tasted deeper, saying only three words: “Just say when.”

  “So how are things with your dad, Roxie?”

  Dr. Dow’s gaze lifted from her notepad, offering me the familiar warmth of a smile. I noticed she never wrote in the pad while with me. She only used it for reference, always.

  I crossed my legs, her leather office couch squishing while I adjusted. I offered my own smile to her. I couldn’t keep the expression off my face these days. Things with my dad had come so far, so much so that I had offered him to be a part of something I never thought I would so soon. But Dr. Dow wasn’t referring to the same progression I was. She’d given me an assignment, one separate from my own.

  “I did what you said,” I told her, referring to that assignment, and she nodded, salt and pepper hair swaying across brown shoulders. “I finally answered the entire email he sent me. Acknowledged it, everything.”

  “And?” she asked, sitting back.

  Honestly, it had felt weird. Finally addressing everything in the email my dad sent all those years ago, the long apology letter for every thing he’d let happen in the past. He’d sent it in a place of pain and I never responded properly to it as I had been in a similar place. Writing back recently especially felt odd because my dad and me chatted weekly on the phone, no email required. We chatted about the weather or how Griffin and I had been doing. The calls started right after I got home to Miami, and really, they served as the jump-off for a much needed closure. Those calls allowed me to get even to a place where I could respond to the email and gave me the strength to invite him in my life in more ways than one—on a special day of my life more particularly. But again, Dr. Dow was referring to the exercise she’d assigned me.

  I smiled at her knowing that. “I told him I forgave him,” I said to Dr. Dow now. “I forgave him.”

  And that forgiveness meant so much to him, and also, set the ground work for nothing but a bright future for us both. My dad had called only minutes after receiving the email. He’d been expecting it. I explained to him the response was an exercise my counselor was having me do, a way for closure for us both, and he’d been more than willing to participate. By the end, we’d both been in tears. The past was one thing Dad and I didn’t discuss on the phone. Like I said, our conversations remained casual, and even though they themselves had been signs of growth they didn’t address the real issue at hand. I had resentment for my father. I had a deep pain that kept me away from him for years. He’d hurt me in excruciating ways by leaving me at the mercy of my previous stepfamily and not coming to my defense. But after addressing that hurt, that pain, we both managed to come out whole on the other end. And true, my dad and me still had a lot of work to do, but we were getting there.

  The resolution couldn’t have come at a better time. I wanted him to be a part of something and we had this break through only weeks prior. I was glad we had.

  Figuring it would all come out eventually, I sat back and let Dr. Dow continue.

  I definitely hadn’t been hiding my hand from her after all.

  Being the good sport about the obvious new addition in the room, Dr. Dow moved on with our session, professional to the end. She settled her hands on her jeans and that’s one thing I liked about her. She dressed casual, her office she shared with her associate the same. She had paintings from local artists donning her walls, undiscovered talents she called them.

  “And your nutritionist?” she asked, moving on to the next topic. “How is she working out?”

  That had definitely been hard. Not getting my diet back in order to something healthy, but addressing the reason why I had lost the weight so extremely, my insecurities. It took many sessions, lots of work, but the doctor and I started whittling things away, and eating right, just kind of came with it organically. I still had many things to work through, the perceptions I had of myself. But the thing is, I was willing to go to that place now. I was no longer running from it.

  I didn’t run from anything anymore.

  I continued to workout with the girls, Sam and Eddie, but not nearly to the extreme that I had been. In fact, when they’d found out how much I’d been hurting myself they felt terrible and scaled back, going at my pace. I hadn’t wanted them to find out, but I had to admit the fact when I told them I needed to adjust my schedule. Naturally, they inquired why and I felt honesty was best. They’d been more than accommodating and Kerry even started joining us as well, my friends here truly standing by me.

  My friends. They really had been.

  Kerry finally could join us now that Kendrick was back on the court. I’d be lying if I said that had been an adjustment for Griffin in regards to playing time, and though he did play a little less, the arrangement wasn’t a big deal at all. Kendrick was Griffin’s mentor, he the protégé. Griffin still had a lot to learn both on the court and off. After everything that played out with Mickey and Rich, something we’d both had a long talk about, we definitely came to terms with the new world he’d been introduced to. Griffin had to deal with folks not having his best interest at heart in college, but playing professionally, was whole new territory. Things had just happened so quickly, his success and planning for the wedding. He’d decided to take this lesson and really consider his options before finding new representation. And as far as his career? In the end, he decided he wanted to take things easy, live simply and enjoy the early life of his game. Griffin had his whole career ahead of him, and if he wanted to spend that time out of the limelight as much as he could, with me as he’d said, he was going to. I didn’t argue. In fact, I’d never been happier for his reasons behind his decision. He’d chosen simplicity because he wanted it, genuinely, and not because he felt he had to for me.

  I told Dr. Dow everything really, truly was going okay for me, and it had in so many ways.

  Not staring down at my hand, my ring, was hard, but I managed, keeping my gaze on Dr. Dow.

  She smiled at me, again ignoring the obvious with her head tilted. She closed the notebook on her lap. “I think that’s it for us today then, Roxie,” she said. “We don’t want to run into your couple’s session.”

  Normally, Griffin and I did have our couple’s session right after mine in this very room. A big focus of those was communication. Griffin had been right that day at his family’s ranch house. He had lost me somewhere along the way, so we definitely worked on those things together to get to a good place so that didn’t happen again. Through those sessions, I was able to bring up something that sat heavily on me in the past.

  The prenup had been a real issue for me and I think I finally understood why. Having one, that document, meant Griffin and I weren’t together, and I didn’t want to think about that possibility, a world in which we weren’t. Upon vocalizing my opinion, Griffin ended up coming to the same conclusion. He’d just wished I had been open with him about it. I was definitely going to do better with that. He deserved that, and as it turned out, it wasn’t too late to make the changes with the agreement.

  After all, his people worked for him.

  Griffin’s and my couples’ counselor, Debra Foster, shared an office with Dr. Dow. But today, we’d had to reschedule our session, as there’d been a change of plans.

  “Did you get my email?” I asked Dr. Dow. I’d sent it this morning. Griffin’s private trainer couldn’t get him in this morning, so he had to take the spot of our couples counseling session.

  “We don’t have to rush,” I continued checking my watch. We got done early sometimes like today. I enjoyed that because I got to chat with Griffin before Dr. Foster came in.

  Dr. Dow nodded, acknowledging what I’d said before. “I did get the email,” she told me, gazing over my shoulder. “But you must have missed the last minute change up.”