come here Quentin

  I went back she touched my shoulder leaning down her shadow the blur of her face leaning down from his high shadow I drew back

  look out

  you go on home

  Im not sleepy Im going to take a walk

  wait for me at the branch

  Im going for a walk

  Ill be there soon wait for me you wait

  no Im going through the woods

  I didnt look back the tree frogs didnt pay me any mind the grey light like moss in the trees drizzling but still it wouldnt rain after a while I turned went back to the edge of the woods as soon as I got there I began to smell honeysuckle again I could see the lights on the courthouse clock and the glare of town the square on the sky and the dark willows along the branch and the light in mothers windows the light still on in Benjys room and I stooped through the fence and went across the pasture running I ran in the grey grass among the crickets the honeysuckle getting stronger and stronger and the smell of water then I could see the water the colour of grey honeysuckle I lay down on the bank with my face close to the ground so I couldnt smell the honeysuckle I couldnt smell it then and I lay there feeling the earth going through my clothes listening to the water and after a while I wasnt breathing so hard and I lay there thinking that if I didnt move my face I wouldnt have to breathe hard and smell it and then I wasnt thinking about anything at all she came along the bank and stopped I didnt move

  its late you go on home

  what

  you go on home its late

  all right

  her clothes rustled I didnt move they stopped rustling

  are you going in like I told you

  I didnt hear anything

  Caddy

  yes I will if you want me to I will

  I sat up she was sitting on the ground her hands clasped about her knee

  go on to the house like I told you

  yes Ill do anything you want me to anything yes

  she didnt even look at me I caught her shoulder and shook her hard

  you shut up

  I shook her

  you shut up you shut up

  yes

  she lifted her face then I saw she wasnt even looking at me at all I could see that white rim

  get up

  I pulled her she was limp I lifted her to her feet

  go on now

  was Benjy still crying when you left

  go on

  we crossed the branch the roof came in sight then the windows upstairs

  hes asleep now

  I had to stop and fasten the gate she went on in the grey light the smell of rain and still it wouldnt rain and honeysuckle beginning to come from the garden fence beginning she went into the shadow I could hear her feet then

  Caddy

  I stopped at the steps I couldnt hear her feet

  Caddy

  I heard her feet then my hand touched her not warm not cool just still her clothes a little damp still

  do you love him now

  not breathing except slow like far away breathing

  Caddy do you love him now

  I dont know

  outside the grey light the shadows of things like dead things in stagnant water

  I wish you were dead

  do you you coming in now

  are you thinking about him now

  I dont know

  tell me what youre thinking about tell me

  stop stop Quentin

  you shut up you shut up you hear me you shut up are you going to shut up

  all right I will stop we’ll make too much noise

  Ill kill you do you hear

  lets go out to the swing theyll hear you here

  Im not crying do you say Im crying

  no hush now we’ll wake Benjy up

  you go on into the house go on now

  I am dont cry Im bad anyway you cant help it

  theres a curse on us its not our fault is it our fault

  hush come on and go to bed now

  you cant make me theres a curse on us

  finally I saw him he was just going into the barbershop he looked out I went on and waited

  Ive been looking for you two or three days

  you wanted to see me

  Im going to see you

  he rolled the cigarette quickly with about two motions he struck the match with his thumb

  we cant talk here suppose I meet you somewhere

  Ill come to your room are you at the hotel

  no thats not so good you know that bridge over the creek in there back of

  yes all right

  at one oclock right

  yes

  I turned away

  Im obliged to you

  look

  I stopped looked back

  she all right

  he looked like he was made out of bronze his khaki shirt

  she need me for anything now

  I’ll be there at one

  P. to saddle Prince at one oclock she kept she heard me tell T. watching me not eating much she came too

  what are you going to do

  nothing cant I go for a ride if I want to

  youre going to do something what is it

  none of your business whore whore

  P. had Prince at the side door T.

  I wont want him Im going to walk

  I went down the drive and out the gate I turned into the lane then I ran before I reached the bridge I saw him leaning on the rail the horse was hitched in the woods he looked over his shoulder then he turned his back he didnt look up until I came onto the bridge and stopped he had a piece of bark in his hands breaking pieces from it and dropping them over the rail into the water

  I came to tell you to leave town

  he broke a piece of bark deliberately dropped it carefully into the water watched it float away

  I said you must leave town

  he looked at me

  did she send you to me

  I say you must go not my father not anybody I say it

  listen save this for a while I want to know if shes all right have they been bothering her up there

  thats something you dont need to trouble yourself about

  then I heard myself saying Ill give you until sundown to leave town

  he broke a piece of bark and dropped it into the water then he laid the bark on the rail and rolled a cigarette with those two swift motions spun the match over the rail

  what will you do if I dont leave

  Ill kill you dont think that just because I look like a kid to you

  the smoke flowed in two jets from his nostrils across his face

  how old are you

  I began to shake my hands were on the rail I thought if I hid them hed know why

  Ill give you until tonight

  listen buddy whats your name Benjys the natural isnt he you are

  Quentin

  my mouth said it I didnt say it at all

  Ill give you till sundown

  Quentin

  he raked the cigarette ash carefully off against the rail he did it slowly and carefully like sharpening a pencil my hands had quit shaking

  listen no good taking it so hard its not your fault kid it would have been some other fellow

  did you ever have a sister did you

  no but theyre all bitches

  I hit him my open hand beat the impulse to shut it to his face his hand moved as fast as mine the cigarette went over the rail I swung with the other hand he caught it too before the cigarette reached the water he held both my wrists in the same hand his other hand flicked to his armpit under his coat behind him the sun slanted and a bird singing somewhere beyond the sun we looked at one another while the bird singing he turned my hands loose

  look here

  he took the bark from the rail and dropped it into the water it bobbed up the current took it floated away his hand lay on the rail holding the pistol loosely we waited

  you cant hit it now

  no

  it floated on it was quite still in the woods I heard the bird again and the water afterward the pistol came up he didnt aim at all the bark disappeared then pieces of it floated up spreading he hit two more of them pieces of bark no bigger than silver dollars

  thats enough I guess

  he swung the cylinder out and blew into the barrel a thin wisp of smoke dissolved he reloaded the three chambers shut the cylinder he handed it to me butt first

  what for I wont try to beat that

  youll need it from what you said Im giving you this one because youve seen what itll do

  to hell with your gun

  I hit him I was still trying to hit him long after he was holding my wrists but I still tried then it was like I was looking at him through a piece of coloured glass I could hear my blood and then I could see the sky again and branches against it and the sun slanting through them and he holding me on my feet

  did you hit me

  I couldnt hear

  what

  yes how do you feel

  all right let go

  he let me go I leaned against the rail

  do you feel all right

  let me alone Im all right

  can you make it home all right

  go on let me alone

  youd better not try to walk take my horse

  no you go on

  you can hang the reins on the pommel and turn him loose he’ll go back to the stable

  let me alone you go on and let me alone

  I leaned on the rail looking at the water I heard him untie the horse and ride off and after a while I couldnt hear anything but the water and then the bird again I left the bridge and sat down with my back against a tree and leaned my head against the tree and shut my eyes a patch of sun came through and fell across my eyes and I moved a little further around the tree I heard the bird again and the water and then everything sort of rolled away and I didnt feel anything at all I felt almost good after all those days and the nights with honeysuckle coming up out of the darkness into my room where I was trying to sleep even when after a while I knew that he hadnt hit me that he had lied about that for her sake too and that I had just passed out like a girl but even that didnt matter anymore and I sat there against the tree with little flecks of sunlight brushing across my face like yellow leaves on a twig listening to the water and not thinking about anything at all even when I heard the horse coming fast I sat there with my eyes closed and heard its feet bunch scuttering the hissing sand and feet running and her hard running hands

  fool fool are you hurt

  I opened my eyes her hands running on my face

  I didnt know which way until I heard the pistol I didnt know where I didnt think he and you running off slipping I didnt think he would have

  she held my face between her hands bumping my head against the tree

  stop stop that

  I caught her wrists

  quit that quit it

  I knew he wouldnt I knew he wouldnt

  she tried to bump my head against the tree

  I told him never to speak to me again I told him

  she tried to break her wrists free

  let me go

  stop it I’m stronger than you stop it now

  let me go Ive got to catch him and ask his let me go Quentin please let me go let me go

  all at once she quit her wrists went lax

  yes I can tell him I can make him believe anytime I can make him

  Caddy

  she hadnt hitched Prince he was liable to strike out for home if the notion took him

  anytime he will believe me

  do you love him Caddy

  do I what

  she looked at me then everything emptied out of her eyes and they looked like the eyes in the statues blank and unseeing and serene

  put your hand against my throat

  she took my hand and held it flat against her throat

  now say his name

  Dalton Ames

  I felt the first surge of blood there it surged in strong accelerating beats

  say it again

  her face looked off into the trees where the sun slanted and where the bird

  say it again

  Dalton Ames

  her blood surged steadily beating and beating against my hand

  It kept on running for a long time, but my face felt cold and sort of dead, and my eye, and the cut place on my finger was smarting again. I could hear Shreve working the pump, then he came back with the basin and a round blob of twilight wobbling in it, with a yellow edge like a fading balloon, then my reflection. I tried to see my face in it.

  “Has it stopped?” Shreve said. “Give me the rag.” He tried to take it from my hand.

  “Look out,” I said, “I can do it. Yes, it’s about stopped now.” I dipped the rag again, breaking the balloon. The rag stained the water. “I wish I had a clean one.”

  “You need a piece of beefsteak for that eye,” Shreve said. “Damn if you wont have a shiner tomorrow. The son of a bitch,” he said.

  “Did I hurt him any?” I wrung out the handkerchief and tried to clean the blood off of my vest.

  “You cant get that off,” Shreve said. “You’ll have to send it to the cleaner’s. Come on, hold it on your eye, why dont you.”

  “I can get some of it off,” I said. But I wasn’t doing much good. “What sort of shape is my collar in?”

  “I dont know,” Shreve said. “Hold it against your eye. Here.”

  “Look out,” I said. “I can do it. Did I hurt him any?”

  “You may have hit him. I may have looked away just then or blinked or something. He boxed the hell out of you. He boxed you all over the place. What did you want to fight him with your fists for? You goddamn fool. How do you feel?”

  “I feel fine,” I said. “I wonder if I can get something to clean my vest.”

  “Oh, forget your damn clothes. Does your eye hurt?”

  “I feel fine,” I said. Everything was sort of violet and still, the sky green paling into gold beyond the gable of the house and a plume of smoke rising from the chimney without any wind. I heard the pump again. A man was filling a pail, watching us across his pumping shoulder. A woman crossed the door, but she didnt look out. I could hear a cow lowing somewhere.

  “Come on,” Shreve said, “Let your clothes alone and put that rag on your eye. I’ll send your suit out first thing tomorrow.”

  “All right. I’m sorry I didn’t bleed on him a little, at least.”

  “Son of a bitch,” Shreve said. Spoade came out of the house, talking to the woman I reckon, and crossed the yard. He looked at me with his cold, quizzical eyes.

  “Well, bud,” he said, looking at me, “I’ll be damned if you dont go to a lot of trouble to have your fun. Kidnapping, then fighting. What do you do on your holidays? burn houses?”

  “I’m all right,” I said. “What did Mrs Bland say?”

  “She’s giving Gerald hell for bloodying you up. She’ll give you hell for letting him, when she sees you. She dont object to the fighting, it’s the blood that annoys her. I think you lost caste with her a little by not holding your blood better. How do you feel?”

  “Sure,” Shreve said, “If you cant be a Bland, the next best thing is to commit adultery with one or get drunk and fight him, as the case may be.”

  “Quite right,” Spoade said. “But I didnt know Quentin was drunk.”

  “He wasnt,” Shreve said. “Do you have to be drunk to want to hit that son of a bitch?”

  “Well, I think I’d have to be pretty drunk to try it, after seeing how Quentin came out. Where’d he learn to box?”

  “He’s been going to Mike’s every day, over in town,” I said.

  “He has?” Spoade said. “Did you know that when you hit him?”

  “I dont know,” I said. “I guess so. Yes.”

  “Wet it again,” Shreve said. “Want some fresh water?”

  “This is all right,” I said. I dipped the cloth again and held it to my eye. “Wish I had something to clean my vest.” Spoade was still watching me.

  “Say,” he said, “What did you hit him for? What was it he said?”

  “I dont know. I dont know why I did.”

  “The first I knew was when you jumped up all of a sudden and said, ‘Did you ever have a sister? Did you?’ and when he said No, you hit him. I noticed you kept on looking at him, but you didnt seem to be paying any attention to what anybody was saying until you jumped up and asked him if he had any sisters.”

  “Ah, he was blowing off as usual,” Shreve said, “about his women. You know: like he does, before girls, so they dont know exactly what he’s saying. All his damn innuendo and lying and a lot of stuff that dont make sense even. Telling us about some wench that he made a date with to meet at a dance hall in Atlantic City and stood her up and went to the hotel and went to bed and how he lay there being sorry for her waiting on the pier for him, without him there to give her what she wanted. Talking about the body’s beauty and the sorry ends thereof and how tough women have it, without anything else they can do except lie on their backs. Leda lurking in the bushes, whimpering and moaning for the swan, see. The son of a bitch. I’d hit him myself. Only I’d grabbed up her damn hamper of wine and done it if it had been me.”

  “Oh,” Spoade said, “the champion of dames. Bud, you excite not only admiration, but horror.” He looked at me, cold and quizzical. “Good God,” he said.

  “I’m sorry I hit him,” I said. “Do I look too bad to go back and get it over with?”

  “Apologies, hell,” Shreve said, “Let them go to hell. We’re going to town.”

  “He ought to go back so they’ll know he fights like a gentleman,” Spoade said. “Gets licked like one, I mean.”

  “Like this?” Shreve said, “With his clothes all over blood?”

  “Why, all right,” Spoade said, “You know best.”

  “He cant go around in his undershirt,” Shreve said, “He’s not a senior yet. Come on, let’s go to town.”

  “You neednt come,” I said. “You go on back to the picnic.”

  “Hell with them,” Shreve said. “Come on here.”

  “What’ll I tell them?” Spoade said. “Tell them you and Quentin had a fight too?”

  “Tell them nothing,” Shreve said. “Tell her her option expired at sunset. Come on, Quentin. I’ll ask that woman where the nearest interurban—”

  “No,” I said, “I’m not going back to town.”

  Shreve stopped, looking at me. Turning, his glasses looked like small yellow moons.