I wasn’t apologizing to him for that. “No.”

  Her nails bit into my skin. “Now.”

  I wasn’t apologizing, but I’d walk over there and say something to him to let her think I did before she grabbed me by my ear and hauled me to him.

  “Fine,” I muttered and her hand released me as soon as I headed in his direction.

  Apologize to Nate. Seriously? Did they even know Nate Finlay? As if this wasn’t something he would have done. Jesus. They were all being dramatic as hell. I didn’t kidnap her. She went willingly.

  Nate was also dressed in a suit, and Bliss stood beside him looking stunning in a black dress with her hair pulled up off her shoulders. “Hey,” I said as they turned to see me approaching.

  Nate did a lift of his chin.

  “You seen Lila Kate?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Why? You got your bike with you?” Nate smirked as he said it.

  “No, smartass. I just don’t see her.”

  “She’s gone to get a drink. Been talking to everyone and her mouth got dry.”

  I nodded. Good. I’d have time to get back out of sight before she returned. “Y’all here long?”

  “We came in last night. Stayed at Dean’s. Heading out in the morning,” Nate replied. Dean was his grandfather. Kiro Manning’s best friend.

  “I’m headed out soon as this is over,” I said. “Good to see you again, Bliss. I think I’ve been over here long enough for my mother to think I’ve apologized sufficiently. I’ll leave you to it.”

  Nate grinned. “Apologized, huh? I think I’d like that apology.”

  Bliss giggled. “Nate leave him alone. It’s good to see you again, Cruz.” She started to say more, then paused and smiled at something over my shoulder. “There they are,” she added.

  I glanced back without thinking and my eyes locked on Lila Kate. She was stunning. Her dark hair was curled loosely and brushed her shoulders. The midnight blue dress she was wearing hugged her curves so damn sweetly I had a hard time looking away.

  “Should I get him? Or do you think she wants him to stay with her?” Bliss asked.

  Get who?

  “Leave it. She seems to want him with her,” Nate replied.

  I tore my gaze off Lila Kate to see a tall blond guy with his hand possessively on her back. His expression was serious as he listened to something she was saying. Who the fuck was that?

  “Who is with her?” I asked since they obviously knew.

  “That’s Eli, my best friend,” Bliss said with a pleased smile.

  “How does she know him?” Lila Kate wasn’t one to bond with someone fast.

  “They had been spending some time together before you rode in on your bike and took off with her,” Nate replied. He was amused. He knew why I was asking and he was fucking amused.

  “She wanted to go with me,” I told him turning to glare at his smug expression.

  He nodded. “Yeah, she did. But now,” he tilted his chin up toward Lila Kate. “She wants Eli. Lesson learned fast I’d say.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” I snarled taking a step toward him.

  Nate didn’t back away. But then I didn’t expect him to. He took a step in my direction. His expression went cold. Hard. “It means Eli is a good guy. The staying kind. That’s what it fucking means,” Nate’s voice was low as he said the words.

  “She barely knows him,” I argued.

  “But she knows you enough, now doesn’t she,” he shot back.

  We were at a funeral. That should be why I stopped and walked away. But it wasn’t. It was because Nate was right. She did know me. I could have parked my bike and gone with her. That’s what a good guy would have done. But I’d fucked her, dropped her off and driven away. As I let myself think about it I had to admit that might have been the coldest thing I’d ever done. And I’d done some pretty cruel shit. I turned my gaze back to Lila Kate and Eli. He was whispering something to her and she smiled. The smile wasn’t the radiant one I knew.

  It was sad. Her eyes didn’t glow and light up the room like I knew they could. She’d lost someone, and Eli was there with her. That’s the kind of guy she needed. I had left her because she needed to move on from me. I just hadn’t fucking expected it to happen so fast.

  “She deserves more. You know it. Let her have it,” Nate’s voice annoyed me simply because he was right. I didn’t say anything to him. I just walked away. Back to my family. I would get through this damn funeral and leave quietly. I’d forget what happened with Lila and me. Eventually.

  As I was walking away I felt her eyes follow me. The best thing to do would be to ignore her but I couldn’t. I met her gaze. She didn’t smile. She just looked at me with eyes so full of disappointment it burned in my gut. She’d ruined me. Just like I was afraid she would.

  Lila Kate

  ELI’S HAND HELD mine as I studied the private mausoleum that was for all Slacker Demon members and their family. My grandmother was the first to be buried in it. Kiro had bought it because he said he didn’t want to be buried in the ground and he didn’t want his Emily in there either. So he’d decided that the best way to rest in eternal peace was a mausoleum with those he loved most.

  “I’ve never seen anyone laid to rest in one of these. Just been to burials,” Eli said softly beside me.

  “Me neither. It seems easier than watching them sink into the ground doesn’t it?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

  I focused on my grandfather as his bloodshot eyes stared straight ahead at the marking where Emily had been slid in. He was drinking from another bottle of whiskey. I was concerned he was going to get alcohol poisoning, but my mom said he’d built years of tolerance to the stuff. He’d be fine. His suit covered his tattoos but he still looked like a rocker. It was in his stance, face, the way his hair was still too long for an older man. He would always be Kiro Manning. Even at seventy years old.

  “Thanks for staying with me today,” I told Eli. I had needed someone. Support. Everyone had been here. They all knew I’d been on Cruz Kerrington’s bike and they all saw him completely ignore me. But my grandfather’s grief had been more important than my obvious snub from Cruz. I’d gotten what I asked for playing with fire.

  “I’m glad I came. Almost didn’t. Nate thought I should. I’ll have to thank him for that.”

  Nate had expected this. He knew Cruz as well as I did. We had been a pack once. I needed to thank Nate for bringing Eli. Not that I was going to use Eli as a rebound. But he’d become a good friend. After today, I hoped we would stay in touch. I enjoyed his company. He was strong. Dependable. Kind. The type of man I knew my parents hoped I would find one day.

  When my heart finally healed and I moved on, I hoped I would find a fairytale with a guy like Eli. I knew it wouldn’t be Eli because his heart was already unavailable. I sympathized with him. Loving someone you will never have is painful.

  At least he hadn’t suffered humiliation because of it. He’d kept his feelings a secret. Never made the mistake of throwing caution to the wind and hoping it worked.

  “Let’s go,” I said as others began to leave. I knew my grandfather would be here for a while and I wanted him to have his alone time with her.

  Eli continued to hold my hand as we walked away. I knew the Kerrington’s were to my left. I could see Woods and Della from the corner of my eye. But I didn’t turn to them. I just couldn’t bring myself to. I walked on with my head down. Eli led me to the limo that was waiting for the family.

  “Where are you going?” I asked him.

  He nodded toward the limo behind this one. “To Dean’s with Nate and Bliss.”

  Being with Nate and Bliss wasn’t easy on him. I knew that without asking. “Come with me,” I said.

  He smiled like he understood why and could read my thoughts. “Thanks.”

  I moved all the way down to the last seat. “You saved me today. I should be thanking you.”

  He moved in behind me and sat with his thigh pressing mine. The warmth from his body, the smell of his cologne all made me feel soothed. Like I wasn’t alone. I remembered this from our one night together. I knew the difference now, between good drunk sex with no strings and sex with a man your heart wants. It’s on two different playing fields.

  “You were beautiful today. He’s an idiot, and from the way he watched your every move he knows it.”

  I jerked my head around and looked up at Eli. “What?”

  He gave me a half smile. “Cruz Kerrington. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. I never met him nor was I introduced, but I know guys like him. I can spot them. He was also completely obvious. No one else there glared at me like they’d enjoy ripping my limbs off my body.”

  That didn’t make sense. I shook my head. “You misunderstood. He was forced to come here. I know his parents. He was glaring because he was angry this took away from his play time.” The disgust was obvious in my voice. So was the hurt.

  “I may not be an asshole. But I am a man. I know what they’re thinking. I can read one. And that guy was not happy about you being with me. He also wanted to get you alone and get his hands on you. Honestly, Lila, you are beautiful. Today you were stunning. I had a hard time keeping my eyes off you.”

  It felt nice. No, it felt more than nice to hear a good-looking man say that to me. I didn’t feel beautiful or stunning. “Thank you,” I said unsure of how else to respond. Then I said what I was thinking. “I wish . . . I wish I’d met you at another time. A time when our hearts weren’t so confused. Maybe we would have had a chance.”

  His hand slipped over mine, and he kept it there. “When you left I realized something. My heart isn’t where I thought it was. Bliss had become a habit. All I knew. No one had made enough of an impact on me to move her from my heart. But you . . . you made me forget. Showed me that there was more. That I could feel something for someone else,” he paused then his fingers slid around mine. “My heart’s ready, Lila. I’ll just be patient until yours is.”

  Wow . . . that was not something I’d expected to hear. “Our last night together you were upset over being the best man,” I reminded him.

  He shrugged. “A habit. A habit that shook me up and showed me how my heart had changed. I realized I’d moved on when I found out you were gone. That . . . that shook me more than the damn wedding shit. I was over it and completely focused on you. I don’t even get a twinge when I see them kiss now. You got me over it. I wish I could do the same for you.”

  Here was this wonderful man telling me he wanted more. He was ready to move on with me. He wanted to be with me. He made himself available. And as beautiful as it all sounded, my heart was still aching over Cruz. I was either the stupidest female on planet Earth or the unluckiest. Possibly both.

  “I need time,” I said to him because I wanted a fairy tale. I believed that Eli was that kind of guy. He was secure, solid, beautiful. All the things my father was, Rush Finlay was, my Uncle Mase and Uncle Cope were. I wanted a man like them.

  “I’m really patient,” he replied.

  Even the tone of his voice was soothing. It didn’t make my heart flip or butterflies take flight in my stomach, but it made me feel safe. I rested my head on his shoulder. His arm went around me and we sat there like that in silence while we waited on the rest of the family.

  Cruz Kerrington

  “DID YOU FUCK her?” Blaze, my nineteen-year-old brother asked dropping down onto the other end of the sectional sofa in the den that my mom referred to as “the boys’ den.” It was on the bottom floor of our three-story home and had everything teenage boys could possibly need. Even a mini gym with weights. I had come down here as soon as we got home to avoid the rest of the family.

  “I’m ignoring that,” I replied not taking my attention from the baseball game I was watching.

  Blaze chuckled. “That means yes. Goddamn! She’s so fucking hot.”

  Fury crawled all over me. “If you want to live you’ll shut the hell up,” I warned him. I didn’t want anyone knowing about what we had done, but I also didn’t want my brother thinking about Lila Kate and sex in the same damn thought.

  “What’s your deal? Jesus, relax. Lila Kate is smoking hot. I’d give my left nut to fuck her.”

  I moved then. Fast. Without thought. I pinned Blaze to the sofa with my hand around his throat. He was an inch, maybe two taller than me but he was lankier. His muscles were slenderer. I outweighed him. I was also two years older. “Shut your motherfucking mouth. Do you understand me you stupid little dipshit?”

  He nodded unable to breathe so I eased my hold on his neck. Then glared at him one last time before moving off him and taking my spot back. “Go away,” I told him as I settled back again.

  I could see him rubbing his neck. Damn dramatic. He finally stood up, and I was so relieved I almost sighed. I just wanted to be alone.

  “If you love her then you aren’t doing a good job of showing her. That’s all I’m saying.” After the words had left his mouth, he turned and ran from the room and back up the stairs.

  “I don’t love her,” I said to no one. But I needed to say it. Get it out. “I don’t love anyone. Love isn’t for me.” I kept talking to the empty room.

  The image of Lila Kate standing at the funeral. Her soft tanned back so perfect and bare in the dress she was wearing it made my fingers itch to touch it. To feel it’s silky texture. If Eli Fucking Hardy had laid one hand on that back, I wouldn’t have been responsible for my actions. But he hadn’t. He’d been the good guy. He didn’t touch her body. He only held her hand.

  She’d seemed to need that support. I fought against the jealousy eating at me that I wasn’t the one there beside her. It was my choice that I wasn’t. I was suffering for her benefit.

  Footsteps on the stairs this time alerted me I was about to be interrupted yet again by a family member. I lay my head back and closed my eyes as I sighed with annoyance. “Can’t you all just leave me alone?” I growled in frustration as the next nosey ass member of my family entered the room.

  “I’ll just be a minute. I need to say something. Then I won’t bother you again,” Lila Kate’s voice had my head snapping back up. What the fuck was she doing here?

  She was dressed in a white sundress that showed too much of her skin. I soaked it in. The sight of her. All that perfect softness. Here in my house. Why?

  “Blaze said you were down here and I could come see you a moment. He was leaving to meet your parents for lunch at the club. I didn’t mean to bother you,” she paused and looked at the game on the television. “I see you’re busy watching something. I’ll be quick.”

  She walked over to me stopping only a few feet away. “I didn’t make a mistake. I knew what I was doing. I expected this of you. I didn’t expect anything more. I chose to go with you, sleep with you, allow myself to enjoy being with you. That was all on me. I will deal with the memories. The heartbreak. All of it because I asked for it. At first, I thought I was stupid. I cursed my bad decisions. But . . . I am thankful I did it. I let you hurt me. But we had a moment. I now know how that feels. How you . . . feel. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret you. I’ll move on. Go another way. I won’t ever bother you again. Life will return to the way it was before.” She stopped then and smiled. It was a sweet, sad smile. It made my fucking knees feel weak, and I was sitting down.

  “It was less than forty-eight hours, but it had been fun. Exciting. And I will always be glad I did it. Thank you, Cruz Kerrington,” she said as she closed the distance between us and bent down to press a kiss to my lips. “Goodbye,” she whispered against them. Then she stood up and walked toward the stairs.

  My lips were still tingling from the excitement of her touch. My body hummed from the scent of her body. Letting her go seemed impossible. I was off the sofa and behind her so quickly I didn’t have time to think this through. My hands grabbed her waist, and I pressed her up against the wall squeezing her under my touch. There were a million things I wanted to say. But I said none of them.

  I kissed her this time, and I did it right. No fucking peck on the lips. I claimed her mouth. Tasted her sweetness. Got drunk on the nectar that was Lila Kate. I’d craved this since I left her. I’d dreamed about it. Tried to get it out of my system with another woman. None of it worked. This was the only way to cure my craving.

  Her hands tangled in my hair and my hands moved up to feel the heaviness of her breasts. I laid my hand over her heart, and the pounding of it made my heart soar. I did this to her. She wanted it just like I did. We were like fucking explosives. There had never been another woman to make me react this way. Why couldn’t we just make it last longer? Enjoy it until it fizzled out.

  When her hands touched my chest and pushed me back firmly, I was dazed.

  “That’s enough,” she panted and slipped away from my body to free herself from where I’d pinned her.

  “We were just getting started,” I replied my own voice hoarse from lack of oxygen.

  She shook her head. “No, Cruz. My kiss was a goodbye. That kiss was closure.” While I was trying to wrap my head around what she’d just said she walked away. Left me there. Just like that. No tears. Nothing.

  Would I have felt better if she’d cried? I didn’t want to hurt her. I wanted to lock myself in a room with her and never leave again. But I didn’t want to hurt her.

  She’d shown me her emotions before. On Bourbon Street, I’d seen it. All of it. I knew that her heart was soft. That her tears flowed easily. So, that meant the woman that just walked out of here was one thing . . . what I had made her. She wasn’t cold. She was finished. I had shown her just how badly I could hurt her and she’d seen that I wasn’t worth it. She knew she deserved more.

  Her smell clung to my skin. My body ached from the loss of her in my arms. But more than that my soul knew I’d just pushed away the one thing that had ever woken it up. Shook it. I had lost the woman that had shown me what fire felt like.

  I sank onto the chair behind me. Buried my head in my hands. It was done. We’d had our small moment. I’d meant to show her how I was bad for her. How I would ruin her. I had been preserving us both. But in the end, I was the one that would be completely ruined.