Because of lila, p.13
Because of Lila,
p.13
I reached for my phone and decided to change that. We weren’t meant to be more than friends but I’d come to enjoy his friendship. We both loved people who didn’t love us. He understood.
Moved in. When are you coming to visit? then I pressed send.
Ophelia wasn’t moved in yet. Her room was almost completed. She’d gone to LA with Phoenix to visit their grandfather for a week. The place had been quiet. Just me and my dad along with some of his crew who had been working on the room the last few days.
When I’m invited. Was his reply.
I missed him. I missed the trustworthy guy who I could depend on to do what he said he was going to do. He was honest and didn’t do things that could hurt others. I wished that Eli had been the one to steal my heart. Seeing Cruz with someone else would be easier if he had.
You’re invited. Consider this your official invitation.
Texting him eased the ache I felt in my heart and I began to eat my food and enjoy it. If I could go back and not beg Cruz for the impossible that night on Bourbon Street, I would. I’d take it all back. Give up the memories. People that said they wouldn’t trade it even though it hurts were crazy. I would give it up in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to think about him.
I wanted to forget it all.
Friday night too soon? Eli texted back.
It’s perfect, I replied.
That gave me two days to get this place ready. I would make some plans for us and then enjoy myself. I wouldn’t think about Cruz. I wouldn’t care what or who he was doing. I would live my life.
I’ll start packing.
I laughed at that last text and finished eating.
Things were turning out different than I had imagined but they weren’t bad. Not at all. I was excited. Soon I’d own a dance studio. I’d get to teach kids. I’d encourage them to find their love of dance the way I had.
I cleaned up my meal and went downstairs to get back to painting the walls. Dad had offered to do it, but I wanted to know I had done something. This was my place. I liked having my hand in getting it ready to move in.
When I walked in the door, Cruz was standing there looking around. His hands were in his jeans pockets, a look I couldn’t quite read on his face. I thought about turning around and running back upstairs but I wasn’t twelve. I was an adult and this was my studio.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
His gaze swung to me. He hadn’t heard me come in. “Hey.”
I didn’t respond to that. I just continued silently stare at him.
“About what you saw,” he began and I held up a hand to stop him.
“Don’t. Please don’t come in here and act like you have to explain anything to me. I think I made myself clear at your house. We had closure. It’s done. I have painting to do. If you’ll excuse me.” I walked over to the paint and roller I had left earlier hoping he’d just turn and leave.
“If you’ve got your fucking closure why did your eyes look so damn hurt? Tell me that, Lila. Tell me why those eyes of yours took my goddamn breath away? Because it sure as hell wasn’t fucking closure I saw in them.”
I paused and took a deep breath. He was right. But I wasn’t going to admit it. “Still just fresh. I’ll be over it soon enough.”
“When you figure out how to get over it could you fucking tell me how? Because God knows I need help myself.”
I couldn’t let him get to me. I couldn’t let his words make me weak or think I could ever trust him. That we could ever have anything.
“You were doing just fine,” I shot back bending to get the roller and take the top off the paint can.
“Lila, look at me. Jesus, just fucking look at me. Tell me if this looks like a guy who is over it? You saw me flirt. I have been flirting since I was old enough to walk. It means nothing. It’s just how I react to women who are flirting with me.”
I laughed then shook my head. “Whatever. I do not care. Just go.”
He stood there. Not speaking and not moving. I tried to focus on my painting, but it was hard with his eyes watching me. I waited for him to say something more. If he’d just leave this would eventually go away. All of it. I’d gotten a taste. Knew what it felt like and was ready to put it behind me.
“If you didn’t care then we could sit down, chat, have a beer. We can’t do that, Lila. So yes, you care.”
He was right. I hated him being right. If I didn’t care there would be no emotion. I’d be fine with a visit. I wouldn’t be demanding he leave. I dropped my hands to my side and turned back to face him.
“You’re right. I care. But I want to not care. I want to forget it all happened. I want to forget you.” The words although they were true sounded much colder and harsher when said aloud. I almost retracted them but I stopped myself. He’d hurt me. If that hurt him then good.
“I don’t want to forget,” his voice was deep and almost pained. I started to say something to smooth it over but he did as I asked then. He turned and left. After the door closed behind him, the place was once silent again. And I was alone once again.
Eli Hardy
THE SMELL OF fresh paint met me as I walked into the building that would be Lila’s dance studio. It was a pale shade of blue, and the unpainted ceiling would soon look like the morning sky. She had told me about an artist she had coming in to paint it. There was still a lot to be done, but I was happy for her. She was so excited when she talked about her plans. I listened to her for over an hour last night. When she’d realized how long she’d been talking to me about it, she’d apologized. It had been cute.
Not one time in my life had someone made me forget Bliss. There was always an ache in my chest when I thought of her. Until now. That was gone. I knew why. Lila had become important to me. She had been so damn adorable that I couldn’t think about anyone else. Bliss was what she should have always been to me now—a friend. A very good friend who I cared about but I could honestly say I was no longer in love with my best friend. I was happy Bliss had found Nate and that her life was full of joy.
I pulled my duffle bag up over my shoulder and headed across the large room toward the one door in the back. She had said to take that door and head straight up the stairs. Tonight she was cooking for the first time in her kitchen and she hadn’t wanted to leave the food unattended, so she’d left the doors unlocked for me.
The paint smell disappeared when the heavy door closed behind me. I started up the stairs. I could smell garlic sautéing before I was halfway there.
“Eli?” Lila called out.
“Yep!” I replied.
I heard the tap of her feet as she walked in my direction. When I reached the top of the stairs she was there to greet me. She was breathtaking. Damn, it was good to be here.
“You’re here!” she said grinning at me as if I wouldn’t show up. Then she waved her hand out and spun around. “This is it. What do you think?”
The space was the ultimate bachelor pad. Lila had added a lot of soft yet colorful female touches to subdue its masculinity. However, the industrial look with the exposed beams had to have been designed with a man in mind. Nothing fancy. Just wide open and durable.
“I think I’d like to rent that room if Ophelia backs out,” I said teasingly.
“It’s great, isn’t it? I love my view and the feel of the place.”
I nodded. “Yes, it’s great.” So was my view. Lila had on a short white skirt with a sleeveless blue top that showed off her tan. Her hair was pulled up on her head in a messy knot. She wasn’t wearing makeup, but she didn’t need it.
“I don’t have a bed in Ophelia’s room yet but the sofa has a pullout bed, and it’s a good one. I had checked before I bought it.” I looked over at the living area; she had a tan leather sofa that was plush and wide. Two red and brown striped chairs and a large rectangular ottoman sat in the middle. The flat screen was massive, but then it could be seen from anywhere throughout the large flat.
“That looks comfortable enough to sleep on just like it is.”
“It may be. But you’re tall,” she pointed out.
I’d try it out later. “Whatever you’re cooking smells amazing. Can I help with anything?”
“Yes, you can slice the zucchini. I hate slicing vegetables,” she said. “Put your duffle over by the sofa and come tell me about all the current happenings in Sea Breeze. I monopolized the conversation last night. I never heard what happened with Jude and Micah getting arrested.”
I walked over to drop my bag by the couch as she walked back toward the kitchen.
“Damon, Micah’s best friend, went and got them out before they called their dad. Micah may be twenty-five, but Jude is barely twenty. His dad would have been furious. They’re both dumbasses for doing anything with Saffron. She’s always looking for trouble.”
“Saffron had invited them to go swimming at a friend’s house she was supposedly house sitting for. There were topless girls there. They were a few of Saffron’s stripper friends, although Saffron herself wasn’t a stripper. Micah and Jude showed up, and the party had underage drinking. It got loud. The cops came. Micah told Saffron to hide because her father was a crazy ass son of a bitch who would lose his shit.”
Eli continued. “Saffron hadn’t been house sitting. They’d all been there without the owner’s knowledge. It had been one of the stripper’s ex-boyfriend’s house. The ex-boyfriend and his wife were on vacation.”
“Is the owner of the house going to press charges?” Lila asked as she handed me the zucchini.
“No. The stripper he had an affair with threatened to out him to his wife.”
Lila laughed then. “Wow. Okay, that sounds like a movie. Sea Breeze is more lively than Rosemary Beach. We rarely have drama. Nothing that interesting.”
“That’s because you don’t have a Saffron Corbin.”
Lila brushed by me twice to get something from the spice rack. I was trying not to assume she was doing it on purpose, but when she moved in close the third time I decided that was an invitation. I sat the knife down and grabbed her waist to pull her against me.
“I hope this is okay,” I said in a whisper before claiming her mouth with my own. She was frozen at first, and then slowly melted against me, her arms going up around my neck. This was better than I remembered.
I heard the olive oil in the pan behind us sizzling. I knew I had to let her go, but the feel of her in my arms was so damn right it was hard. When she pulled back, she gave me a shy smile. “The onions will burn.”
I let her go reluctantly, and she hurried over to move them around with a spatula. “You ready for the zucchini?” I asked still a little high from that kiss.
She glanced back at me over her shoulder and nodded.
I used that as an excuse to get near her. I took the vegetables then stood so close to her back that our bodies were touching. I bent my head and whispered in her ear. “I’ll put them in there. You stir.”
Lila shivered and then nodded. Pleased that I was affecting her this way, I began slowly pouring the sliced zucchini into the skillet. She was breathing rapidly, and I could see her pulse jumping in the curve of her neck. I pressed a kiss there unable to help myself.
A sharp intake of breath then she shivered again.
I reached over and turned the burner off then grabbed her and picked her up to set her on the bar. Spreading her knees open, I stepped between them and pulled her flush up against me before taking her mouth again. I could stay like this all night.
Her legs wrapped around my waist and she grabbed my face and kissed me back with just as much passion as I felt. It was intoxicating. Every touch, scent, sound she made drove me crazy. My biggest regret was having slept with her drunk like a one-night stand. She was special. I wanted to remember how it felt to be inside her. To know what her face looked like when she cried out with an orgasm.
Her hands moved down to my chest, and she ran them over my abs. Feeling each one as she kissed me. Our tongues tangled together. Our breathing synced. I ran my hands up her thighs wanting to touch her and watch her squirm and beg. To have her scent on my fingers.
She opened her legs more and the short skirt she was wearing slid up her thighs until it was all bare. I could see the white satin and lace of her panties. The damp fabric was clinging to her, and like a caveman, I wanted to beat on my chest that I had done that. I’d made her wet with just a kiss.
Running a finger over the thin, delicate fabric, I watched her face as her eyes flared and her cheeks became flushed. Slipping a finger inside, I groaned from pleasure at the heat that touched my finger. I could smell her arousal. She wanted me to touch her. She wanted this too.
“I kissed you here,” the memory came back just that clearly. The smell hit me and with it came the memory of her legs thrown over my shoulders as I feasted on her like a fucking buffet I couldn’t get enough of.
She nodded.
“You came on my tongue,” my voice had gone husky with need.
“Yes,” she whispered.
I started to lower to my knees, and she grabbed my arms. “No. Don’t.”
I stopped and looked at her. I waited for a reason not to. I’d never had a female ask me not to taste her there.
She took a deep breath. “I’m not ready. I need time.”
She wasn’t drunk. We weren’t at a bar. And I was acting like a sex-crazed maniac.
“I’m sorry. I got carried away. The memory . . .” I trailed off.
“It was amazing. But . . . I’ve been through other things since then. I need time. I like you, Eli. You make me smile. I don’t want to mess this up. My head and heart need to be in the same place.”
This wasn’t just about taking our time. It was about Cruz Kerrington. I had his memory to compete with. But I wasn’t afraid of that. He had hurt her. I never would. I could help her heal, and I was patient. God, was I so fucking patient. Lila fit me. We complemented each other. We had the same ideas, likes, beliefs, and we would make an excellent couple. I’d never let her down.
But she had to get over Cruz first and move on from what she went through. If I was going to give my heart to another woman I needed to know she wanted it. I could be patient and wait.
I let my hands rest on her thighs. “Okay. I can wait.”
She sighed in relief and hugged me. “Thank you. I’m so lucky to have you. Right now, I would be lost and alone. But you’re here and I . . . I’m really happy you are.”
Lila Kate
AFTER DINNER, I took Eli on a walk through town. He’d heard a lot about this place from Bliss, and he wanted to see more of it. The evenings here were very family friendly. Kids riding bikes along the sidewalks, couples walking by with ice cream cones to enjoy after a hot day, laughter from teens as they walked in groups, and most of them still wearing their swimsuits. It was the tourists, and it was what kept the area thriving.
“It’s a vacation spot for the wealthy,” Eli said with an amused tone. “This isn’t like Sea Breeze. No condos just upscale coastal houses to rent. It draws a much different crowd. No drunk teens driving by yelling at each other through their sunroofs or rolled down windows. I like it.”
“There are condos . . . just not like your condos. These are small and in two story buildings. Like that one there,” I pointed to what I was talking about.
Eli laughed. “That’s not condos. You’ve seen the twenty story buildings in Sea Breeze I’m talking about.”
I agreed it was very different, and he wasn’t even on the elite side of Rosemary Beach. That was secluded from the tourist. Kerrington Club was the beginning of the private area. I didn’t want to take him there. Not yet.
“Lila Kate!” I heard my name and paused to glance around. Then I saw the red Mustang that Jace Montgomery had gotten for his high school graduation this year. I waved at him.
“Wrong side of town, babe. You lost?” I ignored the fact an eighteen-year-old called me “babe” simply because that was just Jace. He was kidding. He was always happy, and I’d known him since his birth. I’d gone to the hospital with my parents when he was born.
“I moved here,” I told him as he pulled his car to a stop beside us.
“You moved to the town center?” he asked incredulously.
I nodded. “Yep. Jace this is my friend, Eli Hardy. Eli, this is Jace Montgomery.”
Jace shot him a brilliant white smile. “Nice to meet you, Eli.”
“Same here,” Eli replied.
Then Jace looked back at me. “You’re seriously living here?”
“Yes, Jace. Above the building where I will open my dance studio.”
Jace’s eyes went wide. “Damn that’s awesome. Last I heard, you’d skipped town and Cruz had gone after you. At least that was what Blaze said.”
“I’m back. Decided to start my life here.”
He nodded. “Sorry about your grandmother. I wasn’t in town when it happened. That’s why I didn’t come with my folks.”
“Thanks. That’s okay.”
He smiled over at Eli again. “Keep this wild one straight. Y’all have a good night. I’ll leave you to it.”
“Bye, Jace,” I said. He spun his wheels in response and headed back to the other side of town.
“He’s eighteen. That’s the only excuse I have for him,” I told Eli when he was gone.
Eli laughed. “I figured that out pretty easily. I was eighteen once too.”
The evening air was still warm, but I felt a shiver despite that. Pausing my heart did a funny little flutter, and I recognized it. Most of my life it had been reacting that way when Cruz was near. I wanted to pretend that I didn’t feel it now. That it was gone. But I glanced over my shoulder because I needed to know if my body was still betraying me.
Sure enough, there he stood. His motorcycle parked outside my place. His arms crossed over his chest and his gaze locked on our backs as we walked away. He’d come to see me. The squeeze in my chest I felt because he was here to see me angered me. I wanted not to care. I wanted to be the strong independent woman who had moved on from him.












