Instead, I savored her. The purity of her uncertainty was going to drive me wilder than any kinky shit I’d experienced in the past. This was another level of longing. It exceeded anything else. A shudder ran through her body, and she pressed closer to me, sliding her fingers into my hair. This wasn’t going to be enough for me. I’d opened Pandora’s box, and I was going to either own it or destroy it. The frenzy building in my chest wasn’t keeping me sane enough to make the right decision.

  The moan from Dolly snatched away the last string of my self-control. I tore my mouth from hers, and I made my way down her throat, needing to taste all of her. Every fucking inch. When I reached the collar of her shirt, I took the unwanted fabric and pulled it up, needing it off her. Hating any barrier that was in my way. She lifted her arms, allowing me to easily discard it. Pausing, I took a moment to memorize the sight of the lacy pale pink bra covering her tits before getting it off her. With each panting breath she took, her chest bounced gently, making it hard for me to remain focused on my goal. Lowering my head, I pulled one of her hardened nipples into my mouth and sucked.

  “Oh!” she cried out as her hand went to the back of my head and held me there.

  I couldn’t remember the last woman I’d been with who I took the time to do this to, but Dolly’s pleasure had me giving each breast my undivided attention.

  When I finally began to travel down her stomach, she let go of my head, and her hands fisted the sheet beneath us. Smiling up at her, I unbuttoned her skirt before tugging it down while leaving the matching pink panties on. I needed some barrier, no matter how flimsy, to keep from sinking my dick into her like a madman.

  Tossing her skirt to the floor with the rest of her discarded clothing, I took her legs and draped them over my shoulders. Taking only a moment to appreciate the view, I inhaled that addictive scent that had almost been my undoing yesterday. The honeyed delirium that met my tongue snapped any and all restraint I had left. The reasons why I had to stop this didn’t matter.

  “Micah! Oh God,” she gasped, digging her heels into my back as she clawed frantically at the bed.

  The power of seeing perfection come apart while I ate the most luscious pussy I’d ever tasted ranked as the best moment of my life.

  Using my hand, I opened her folds and lapped at the sweetest cream I’d ever had. Her body bucked as she cried out my name.

  “Come on my tongue, baby,” I urged her, wanting more of it.

  “Oh my God,” she moaned as she grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled. “OH MY GOD!”

  A shudder racked her body as I inhaled her release, and she began to ride my face. It made me want to pound my chest. I’d done this. I had given her this nirvana. Me. Not Canyon.

  At the thought of the other man, my body tensed. I felt as if a vise had clamped around my throat, and my chest felt like it was going to explode. I fought back the roar building inside me and tore myself away from her, only to remove my jeans and underwear while watching her naked body spread out for me, panting as she came down from the high I had given her.

  I reached for the drawer in the bedside table and took out a condom. Her eyes followed me as I tore it open and rolled it down my hard dick. This wasn’t what I had intended to do. She was untouched. I didn’t deserve this, but I would be damned if another man had her. No one else deserved her either. There would never be anyone good enough for her. At least I knew with me, she would be worshipped properly.

  I stared down at her as I knelt between her legs. I didn’t want to give her time to stop this, but I also knew I couldn’t take her virginity without knowing she was giving it to me willingly. I could hear my own heavy breathing as I waited. It took self-control I hadn’t known I possessed not to bury myself inside her.

  “Micah,” she said, and the question in her eyes was echoed in that one word.

  “Do you want this?” I asked in a hoarse whisper.

  If she said no, I might not ever recover.

  “Yes, please.” Her voice was so soft that I almost didn’t hear her over the pounding of my heart. But the please had humbled me to the point that I struggled to inhale my next breath.

  I wasn’t worthy of this, but by God, I would make it special. Lowering myself over her, I trailed kisses from her breasts, along her collarbone, to the pulse in her neck, up to her mouth that was slightly open.

  “I’ll do everything I can to ease the pain,” I promised her.

  “I don’t care about the pain. I just want it to be you.”

  Closing my eyes for a moment, I took a deep breath, then let it out. “You say shit like that, and it makes it hard to go slow.”

  She reached up and cupped the side of my face with her small hand. “Then, don’t. I want it to be good for you too.”

  A low chuckle rumbled in my chest. “Tink, I can promise you, that is not gonna be a problem.”

  I placed a kiss on her lips as I pressed against her entrance. She tensed beneath me as I began to ease inside her.

  “Relax, baby,” I urged her as I bent my head over the crook of her neck and did my best to do this slowly.

  She nodded, opening her legs wider as her breathing deepened. I sank deeper until I felt the barrier. This was a first. Knowing about the hymen and actually encountering one was two different things.

  I had never fucked a virgin. I’d heard enough talk to know that it hurt them, they bled, and it wasn’t good for the female. I’d be damned if that was how it was going to be for Dolly. She would enjoy this. I’d make sure the pleasure outweighed the bad. If I could keep from fucking coming too soon. The way she was squeezing my dick was the closest thing to heaven I would ever get. I’d bet my life this was better than the fucking pearly gates.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, then kissed my neck.

  I thrust into her at those words and stilled as she let out a cry and clung to me. My dick was buried inside her completely now, and every muscle in my body was locked up as I clenched my teeth and fought the desire to get more of this. Feel her tight cunt as I pumped in and out of her.

  She lifted her hips then and hissed through her teeth. I managed to not start fucking her like an animal as she slid her legs up mine and let out a low moan. Jesus H. Christ, I deserved an award for this.

  “Please,” she begged.

  I didn’t know if she was asking me to move or to get out. She ran her hands down my back until her nails bit into my asscheeks. I was going to take that to mean that she wanted me to stay. Easing back, I began to gently pump in and out of her. Each time going a little deeper, pushing a little harder. Bringing myself closer and closer to my release.

  “Micah,” she breathed as she grabbed my biceps. “Micah!”

  Her inner walls clamped down hard on my cock, and I felt the tremor as it rolled through her body.

  FUCK YES! She was coming.

  “That’s it, baby. Come for me,” I panted.

  “OH GOD!” she cried out and began to jerk as she clung to me.

  It was then I felt it. The rush of fluid hitting my balls and the inside of my thighs. Fucking hell! She was squirting.

  Any restraint I had left was gone.

  “FUCK! I want to fill that pussy up,” I groaned as I lost control of my own body and began pounding into her.

  I’d give anything to rip the damn condom off and unload inside her. I wanted her to squirt on me raw. Sweet little virgin was going to own me, and I didn’t give a damn.

  “AH!”

  Her small yelp only drove me further.

  My body jerked against her as I shouted her name. The pulse from my release caused me to tremble with each shot of cum that filled the fucking condom. By the time I finally stopped, I was lightheaded. I rolled to the side, not wanting to crush her with my weight, but pulled her body with me, not willing to break the connection yet. I wanted to stay inside of her longer.

  With a shuddered breath, I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was smiling at me. A pleased look in her eyes made me grin back at her. I should be asking her if she was okay and cleaning her up, but fuck that. I wanted her like this for as long as I could have her. Once we left this bed, reality would set in. What I had done would have to be dealt with. Everything would change.

  “You gonna just keep smiling at me all pretty and sweet or say something?” I teased.

  She ducked her head and laughed. “What do I say?”

  I reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Oh, I don’t know. You can tell me what a god I am and praise my skills.”

  She lifted her head and looked back up at me with amusement dancing in her eyes. “Hmm…a god, huh?”

  I nodded. “I not only gave you an orgasm your first time, but I also made you squirt.”

  She licked her bottom lip and suddenly looked unsure. “That…was that what I did? I wasn’t sure, and I felt it, but…”

  Unable to stop myself, I leaned down and kissed her lips. “Yeah, that’s what you did. And if I hurt you after, that’s not completely my fault. That tight little pussy squirting on me was more than I could take. I lost my control after that.”

  She blushed then and shut her eyes tightly. I kissed her and started to deepen it when banging on the door interrupted me.

  “OPEN THIS DOOR, MICAH, OR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN!” Pepper screamed from the other side.

  Shit.

  20

  Dolly

  Micah jumped out of bed as if he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I grabbed the covers and pulled them up to my neck as he began to take off the condom.

  “Give me a minute,” he called out to Pepper.

  Why was she here? And what was she going to do when she found me in here with him? I watched, unsure of what to do, and waited for Micah to tell me something. He reached for his jeans and pulled them on.

  “Dolly? Are you in there! Micah, I am going to kill you!” Pepper yelled.

  I was verging on panicking when Micah looked at me and then glared at the door.

  “Fuck,” he muttered. He grabbed one of his T-shirts and tossed it to me. “Put this on and…go on into the bathroom. Get a shower. I will deal with her psychotic ass.”

  More banging. “MICAH, OPEN NOW!”

  I scrambled to get the shirt on, then hurried off the bed and into the bathroom. Micah’s gaze followed me, but I was afraid to look him in the eye. Was he mad at me? Surely not. But then what if Pepper was mad at me and him and that made him mad at me?

  Closing the door, I locked it, then leaned back against it and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Did I look different? I felt different. At least my body did. There was an ache between my legs and a slight sting. I lifted the shirt to see how bloody it looked down there, but jumped, dropping it at the sound of Pepper shouting at Micah.

  “WHERE IS SHE?! YOU! YOU! I can’t believe you did this! It didn’t even take a week! Did you stick her in the bathroom? Seriously?”

  “Pep, calm the fuck down,” Micah told her.

  “Don’t Pep me and do not tell me to calm down. That is my best friend you’re hiding in the bathroom after you…” She stopped, and I heard footsteps followed by a, “DAMMIT, MICAH!”

  “It isn’t what you think,” he said.

  “That’s blood on your sheets, and MY best friend is in your bathroom. Yeah, Micah, it is what I think.”

  “No, it’s not. At least not exactly. Could you just go downstairs and get something to drink or eat? We will be down shortly.”

  “And leave her up here with you?” she shot back at him.

  “Why not? What else is there for me to do to her?”

  I tensed at his words, and a sick knot formed in my stomach.

  “You are a bastard—you know that? She deserved more than…than you.”

  “You think I don’t know that?”

  “Then, why did you do it?” Pepper hissed angrily.

  “Because…fuck. I don’t know. I just did.”

  Closing my eyes, I inhaled slowly, willing myself not to cry. I had basically begged him to. It wasn’t like having sex with me was going to make him fall in love with me. We barely knew each other. He was my best friend’s older brother I had once been obsessed with, and I was…I was me. I was not going to get emotional and weepy because I didn’t have some magic vagina to make him want me for something more.

  “I will never, never forgive you for this. Just…let her get cleaned up, and I’ll take her home. The roads are cleared enough,” Pepper said.

  I listened to her footsteps fade away and the sound of the door closing behind her. I waited for Micah to come this way, but I heard nothing.

  With a heaviness in my chest, I walked over and turned on the shower, waited for it to get warm, and stepped under the spray of the water. Washing off every place he had kissed me, touched me. The pink tint to the water as it went down the drain caused my vision to blur, and for a moment, I allowed myself a few tears.

  Not because I had lost my virginity. Good riddance.

  I cried because I had thought that it meant more to Micah…that I meant something to him. But I had just been another girl in his bed. I was as interchangeable as the others. It was my own stupidity. I should have enjoyed the experience and not opened my heart up to him.

  My fingers brushed over the bandage on my leg he’d put there, and I let the memory of how gentle he’d been seep in before I could stop it. Taking the edge of the Band-Aid, I ripped it off. The red marks were scabbed over. I bunched up the bandage in my fist and tilted my head back as the water washed away my tears.

  Finishing my shower, I got out and dried off. My eyes weren’t puffy, and it didn’t look as if I had been crying. Satisfied with that, I wrapped the towel around me and opened the bathroom door, ready to face Micah. Only he wasn’t there. His sheets were also gone. On his mattress, my clothes were spread out neatly, and my heels sat beside them. It was just one more slap in the face. I wasn’t even worthy of him sticking around to talk to me before I left.

  I dressed, ran my fingers through my damp hair, found my phone, and headed out the door. I was ready to go home. Even if that meant facing Pepper.

  Just as I made it to the stairs, a blonde blocked my way. She sneered at me as if I was something distasteful. I hadn’t met her before, but it seemed like she knew who I was.

  “So, you’re the boring little virgin who didn’t meet up to Micah’s expectations,” she said, then smirked. “I’ll make sure to meet his needs for him. I always do.”

  “Dylan, shut your trap and leave the girl alone,” Tex called out from the now-open library door.

  She glanced down the hall at him, then back at me. “Bye-bye,” she replied, then brushed past me.

  I watched as she walked in the direction of the library. The cutoff jeans she was wearing left part of her bottom hanging out. I hated her.

  Needing to get away from this place, I hurried down the stairs. Pepper was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. When she saw me, I could see the concern in her eyes, and when she opened her arms to me, I rushed into them.

  “Let’s go,” she said. “I called your landlord, and the electricity is on there.”

  I nodded, but I didn’t trust myself to talk.

  Pepper threaded her fingers through mine and held my hand all the way down the dark hallway and into the parking lot. She opened the passenger side of her Mustang and waited for me to climb in, then closed the door behind me before making her way to the other side.

  When she was inside the car, she buckled, then looked at me. “He’s my brother, and I love him, but it will be a long time before I can look at him again. He’s a bastard, and I am so sorry. I should have come here last night. I trusted him, and I shouldn’t have.”

  I reached over and took her hand. “Stop. He didn’t rape me. I asked for it. He did what I’d asked. And…and it was good. Better than good. It was amazing.”

  The pain in her eyes made her thoughts on the matter clear. “You understand that sex is just sex to Micah? Nothing more. It holds no meaning or emotion to him.”

  I nodded. I knew that. Now.

  She sighed heavily. “One day, the right guy will come along. With him, it will be everything you deserve.”

  I looked out the window as she drove off The Judgment’s property. “Or maybe I’m better off alone.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  I turned my attention to her. “Why? You seem fine alone. You haven’t dated in two years. Do you think the right guy is going to come along for you one day?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “I am not like you. I don’t want a man. You…you’re softer. Kinder. You crave that connection. Even if you don’t want to admit it. You are the perfect female. I am the exact opposite.”

  I frowned. She always said I didn’t see myself clearly, but she didn’t see herself the way the rest of the world did. Men paused to watch her walk by. When she walked into a room, it began to revolve around her without her realizing it. I’d tried to tell her that in the past, but she never listened.

  Pepper reached across and grabbed my hand. “Talk to me about last night. Why did you hurt yourself?” Her eyes dropped to the marks on my leg before she looked back at the road.

  “I don’t know,” I lied, not wanting to talk about it.

  “Dolly, if you need to see a psychologist again, then I’m sure—”

  “No. I’m fine. It was nothing. Just drop it.”

  “I can’t drop it if you are hurting. We both know what happens if you try and internalize. I am your friend. You can trust me. You know that.”

  I nodded and hated that my eyes were burning. “It is over. It won’t happen again. I swear.”

  21

  Micah

  “Barnes & Noble opened back up, and so has the library. Dolly is going back to work. I’m heading to the bar, and I doubt I can stay tonight. Send someone over here, but so help me GOD, it’d better not be you.” Pepper’s heated tone came through on the line.