Calista’s catlike green eyes went back to Micah. “She’s your…”

  “Friend,” he replied a touch too sharply.

  The relief on her face was obvious. I just hoped the pain in my chest wasn’t. He’d called me a friend. Was that what he thought of me? We hadn’t labeled what we were doing, but it was definitely not friendly. Not by a long shot.

  “I see,” she said. “My number is the same,” she told him. “I’d love to catch up when you have time.”

  Micah only nodded once, his jaw clenched tightly.

  Calista looked back at the others and said one last goodbye, then turned in her short black dress and strutted on her mile-long legs back into the crowd. Men turned to watch her as she walked by. A few let out whistles. I felt like I was torn between throwing up and bursting into tears.

  “She hasn’t changed much,” Nina said loudly, then held up her hand. “I think this calls for a round of shots. What about some Cuervo?”

  Micah’s hands were on my waist, and he moved me off him to stand up. “Stay here. I’ll be back,” he said, not making eye contact with me.

  I watched as he walked off and had to force my legs to bend so I could sit down in his vacated seat. He wasn’t walking in the direction she had, but why was he acting like this? Who was she? My chest was hurting so bad at the moment that I was struggling to breathe.

  “He just needs a minute, sugar,” Jars said from across the table.

  I looked at him, and I saw the concern in his eyes. They all knew her. Who she was and why Micah was acting so strange. I wanted to ask, but I was scared to know. Terrified actually.

  “That boy can’t be that stupid!” Nina snapped, glaring after him.

  Jars looked at her and shook his head, as if to warn her from saying more. I had to get out of here. I needed some air. I felt like I was going to suffocate, and if I was about to have a complete breakdown, I’d prefer it not to be where folks could see me. I wanted to do that alone.

  A tray of shots was set down on the table in front of me.

  “Did I hear someone say y’all needed some tequila?” Pepper asked.

  My eyes shot up to meet hers.

  “Thank you, Pep!” Nina said, forgetting her moment of anger.

  “No problem. You all drink up. I’m taking my girl here for a bit,” Pepper informed them.

  Pepper held out her hand to me, and I took it, standing up. She pulled me through the crowd, past the bar, and to the door in the back that led to her office. I’d been here a few times, and that was the first room she had finished. Once we were inside with the door shut and the sound of the bar muffled, I walked over and sank into the plush tan chair that sat in the corner.

  Wringing my hands together in my lap, I took a deep breath. “Who is she?” I asked, knowing Pepper had seen the woman and that was why she’d come and gotten me.

  She let out a heavy sigh. “Calista Churro. Her daddy was in Judgment before he was killed in a motorcycle accident about eight years ago. She only stayed around about six months after that and then left without warning to California. She has an aunt that lives out there or some shit.”

  I continued to stare at Pepper. There was more. More she was not wanting to tell me. I could see it all over her face. But I also knew she would. Pepper was the most honest person I knew.

  She leaned back on the edge of her desk. “Calista and Micah grew up in the club together. They were friends for years until they were more. Micah…well, Micah was in love with her. But Calista could only truly love herself. She’d always been that way, but Micah was too blind to see it. She left him with nothing but a letter, apologizing. I thought he’d chase off after her, but he didn’t.”

  Micah had been in love. Micah had been in love. Micah had been in love.

  I felt as if I might break into a million pieces right here. Part of me wished I could.

  Micah had been in love. With…a woman who looked like a supermodel.

  “Stop it,” Pepper said, standing back up and walking over to me. “This was seven years ago. Micah has long since moved on from his childhood love he had for Calista.” She bent down in front of me and took my hands in hers. “Don’t do this. You’re getting in your head and making this more than it is. If he had wanted Calista at any time, he had known where she was and could have gone to find her. He never did.”

  I took a deep breath, feeling the burn of it all the way into my chest. “He told her I was a friend.” My words barely came out as a whisper.

  Pepper’s hands tightened their grasp on mine. “He’s going to regret that. It was just the shock of seeing her here. This thing with you is new to him. He’s never in his adult life felt like he does about you with any woman. You make him happy. As much as I was against the two of you, I will admit that I’ve never seen my brother so damn happy in his life. He’s settled. He isn’t searching for something. He isn’t restless anymore.”

  “Pepper, don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I saw her. I cannot compete with that.”

  “And you don’t have to because you win, hands down. You DO NOT know her. She might look pretty on the outside, but it is skin deep. Micah found that out the hard way. Your beauty is inside and out. She can’t compete with you. She doesn’t even hold a candle.”

  I shook my head just as the door to her office swung open, and Micah came storming inside the room.

  His gaze went from Pepper to me. “What the fuck are you telling her, Pep?” he demanded.

  Pepper stood up and placed a well-manicured hand on her hip. “What you should have told her before just running off like an asshole.”

  “I needed a goddamn minute!” he shouted. “I didn’t need you to come take her and tell her shit that doesn’t concern her.”

  Pepper threw up her hand and stalked toward Micah. “Doesn’t concern her? Are you shitting me right now?!”

  “Come on, Tink,” he said, looking past her to me. “We’re leaving.”

  I stood slowly, not sure if going with Micah was what I should be doing, but the idea of him leaving me also felt unbearable. He held out a hand in my direction, and like a moth to a flame, I went to it. Knowing that the woman he had loved thought I was a friend of his. She was back and wanted to talk to him. It had affected him too strongly for there to be no feelings left there anymore.

  His fingers wrapped around my hand, and he tugged me closer to him. “Congratulations on your opening,” he said to Pepper, then all but dragged me toward the door.

  “Don’t fuck up,” Pepper warned him.

  He didn’t turn around or even slow down. We walked through the bar and right back to the front door we had entered earlier. I didn’t look around or make eye contact with anyone, although I knew every Judgment in here was watching me being hauled away by Micah.

  When we got outside and I saw my pink helmet sitting on his bike, I wanted to burst into tears. I had thought his buying that meant something. That it had been his way of saying I was his. That we were together. That he cared.

  He didn’t say a word as he walked me over to his bike, put my helmet on me, as he always did, then climbed onto the bike. I took his hand and threw my leg over, sliding in close to his back, then wrapped my arms around him.

  Tears burned my eyes as I inhaled the leather vest and wondered if this would be my last time on the back of his bike.

  30

  Dolly

  I walked into the apartment after Micah unlocked the door and opened it, then stepped back for me to enter. Silence. He hadn’t spoken one word to me, and I wasn’t sure what to say. Everything I’d thought I knew had been snatched away from me in moments. The security I had started to feel with him was gone.

  “What did Pepper tell you about Calista?” he asked me.

  I turned around to see him standing there with his arms over his chest defensively. As if I had something to answer for and this was all my fault. I wanted to scream at him. Hit him. Make him hurt the way I was, but I knew I’d never do that.

  “That you grew up together. You were in love with her, and she left after her father was killed,” I said simply.

  He swore under his breath. “Did she tell you I was eighteen years old? That it’s been almost seven fucking years?”

  I nodded.

  “Then, why do you look like that?” he asked, staring at me.

  “Like what?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

  He dropped his hands to his sides, then tilted his head, and his expression softened. “Like I hurt you. Like I did something wrong and you can’t stand to look at me.”

  I frowned. “What Pepper told me wouldn’t have had a punch if you hadn’t introduced me as a friend, then left me without any explanation.” I let out a hard laugh, then found that my pain was starting to turn to anger. “I guess I should have clarified exactly what it was we were doing here. I seem to have gotten my wires crossed what with you staying with me every night, fucking me, buying me a freaking pink helmet!”

  Micah’s brows drew together, and he took a step toward me. “Did you just say fucking, Dolly Dixon?”

  I scowled up at him. He wasn’t going to change the subject. Not now. Not when he had just pierced my chest like he had.

  “Don’t,” I warned him, taking a step back.

  “Don’t what? You don’t want me near you now? Because some girl from my past showed up and I didn’t respond the way I should have?”

  I shook my head, narrowing my eyes at his beautiful face. “No. I’m just trying to decide if I want to keep fucking my friend or not,” I spat out, surprising myself.

  He moved fast, and before I could move, his hands grabbed both my arms and held me still. I tried jerking free but realized it was pointless, so I just glared up at him.

  “If the word fucking comes out of that pretty mouth one more time, I will turn you around and fuck you right here over this sofa. Now, if you want to talk about tonight and Calista, then we will do it. Yes, I handled it wrong. She had surprised me. Seeing her pissed me off. Her walking up to me like she had every right to made me fucking furious. But I shouldn’t have called you a friend.” He paused, then sighed. “I don’t really know what to label us, Tink. I’ve not thought about it. I just wanted her to leave.”

  Girlfriend would have been an easy word to think of, but I didn’t say it. I bit my tongue because I wanted him to keep talking.

  “She is my past. My youth. She means nothing to me.”

  “You loved her,” I said.

  He sighed, then nodded. “Yeah, I did.”

  The little repair his words had done to my shattered chest was undone with those three words. I swallowed against the lump in my throat. It was closing in, getting tighter.

  One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.

  “But it was a long time ago. Whatever love there was has been gone for years,” he said, then brushed over my lips with his thumb. “The woman I want to go to bed with tonight. The one I want in my arms. The one who makes me forget all this shit and the one I want to sink my dick into is you. Just you, Tink.”

  But he didn’t love me. He wasn’t ready to call me his girlfriend.

  This was something though. We had just been together or doing whatever it was we had been doing for a month now. I couldn’t expect him to fall in love with me so fast. But…I stared up into his face and knew I’d do whatever he asked of me and deal with the pain. Because I loved him.

  The words not enough were back, hammering in my head. Trying to take the happiness I had found with Micah away. Reminding me of my flaws. The people who hadn’t wanted me. Who hadn’t fought for me.

  “Tink?” Micah’s voice called out to me.

  I blinked, then focused on him again.

  “There you are. Where did you go?” He brushed his knuckles along my cheek. “Come take a shower with me. I’ll wash your hair.”

  I nodded, fearing that this was the beginning of the worst heartbreak I’d ever experience. Calista wasn’t going to disappear. She wasn’t going to be less beautiful, and she wasn’t going to forget Micah. I knew that. It all came down to, did I trust him? Or was that even something that I should be considering? If he realized he still loved her, it wouldn’t be a matter of trust. It would be a matter of the heart. Just like I couldn’t stop loving him…if he loved her, how could I expect him to just stop?

  One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.

  I stood, looking out the window in the kitchen as I drank my espresso.

  Last night, Micah had been sweet and attentive. He’d made me come six times before we finally both passed out from exhaustion. Twice, I had done that squirting thing that he loved so much. I was still unsure how it happened because it wasn’t me controlling it. The stronger the orgasm, the more likely I would do it. That much I had figured out.

  I heard Micah’s footsteps only moments before I felt his hands come around me. Smiling into my cup, I leaned back against him and sighed. He’d told me over and over last night how special I was and how much he wanted me. It hadn’t been a declaration of love, but it had soothed my fears some. Enough that I could breathe deeply again.

  He bent down until he could nibble on my ear. “I woke up hard, and you weren’t there,” he said in a raspy, sleepy voice.

  I laughed and looked back at him, tilting my head so I could see his eyes. “You always wake up hard.”

  “With the smell of you on the sheets, reminding how good that pussy is, I can’t help it.”

  Shaking my head, I laughed again and turned back to my espresso.

  Micah reached around and took it from me. “Pull up this flimsy nightie and bend over the table,” he ordered me before swatting my butt with his hand.

  I started to ask for my espresso back when his hungry gaze met mine. His eyes roamed over my pearl satin nightgown, as if he wanted to rip it off my body. That was enough to change my mind and do as I had been told. I walked over to the table and bunched the nightgown around my waist, then leaned forward, placing my palms flat against the wood.

  “Goddamn, that’s a pretty ass,” he growled as I looked over my shoulder to see him shove his boxer briefs down before grabbing my hips and angling them up. “Spread your legs, baby.”

  Going up on my tiptoes, I opened them wider and inhaled deeply as he slid inside of me.

  “Fuuuck yes,” he moaned. “That’s so good. I love seeing my good girl bent over, being bad for me. I tell you to do it, and you do it. Drives me insane.”

  His hips began to piston in and out of me. The table shook beneath me, and I cried out every time he sank deeper.

  “That’s my cunt,” he said with his next thrust. “Always wet for my cock.”

  Strangled sounds came from me as his dirty words and praise sent sparks of pleasure through me. I wanted to make him feel this way. I loved knowing I could. Lifting my bottom more for him, I was startled when his palm landed hard on my left butt cheek.

  “Leaving me in bed alone,” he said harshly. “Makes me want to see this round ass red from my hand.”

  “Oh God,” I moaned as my head fell forward.

  “You like that, baby? You like me spanking your sweet ass?” he asked as his hand slapped the other side.

  “MICAH!” I screamed as my sex pulsed, and the promise of my coming orgasm began to build inside me.

  He slapped my bottom harder this time, then cursed. “Fuck, I love the way it jiggles.”

  I closed my eyes tightly, unsure if that was praise or not.

  “Take my dick, baby,” he panted. “Hot little pussy.”

  The wave hit me, and I clawed at the wood as I let out screams of pleasure. The rush from between my legs made my legs tremble as I felt my body convulse.

  “FUUUCK! That’s it. Squirt all over my cock, baby. FUUUCK!” His fingers bit into my flesh as he began to jerk behind me. “GAH!” he shouted as he pulsed inside me. Filling me up. Marking me.

  I rested my forehead on the table, panting as his hold on me eased, and he slowly pulled out of me.

  He ran his palms over my bottom and squeezed gently. “You drive me crazy, Tink.”

  It wasn’t love. But it was something.

  31

  Dolly

  I finished wiping down a table at Paradise Brew and headed for the kitchen.

  After her opening weekend, Pepper had underestimated how busy she would be during the week and called me today after I got home from my classes to see if I could come in and help. Micah hadn’t taken me or picked me up today. He had club stuff to handle, and Liam had called him to Ocala this morning for something going on there.

  Happy to help my friend and not have to go home alone, I dropped off my books, stopped by to take Jeremy leftovers from last night that he could heat up, then headed to the bar. Pepper handed me a pair of black shorts and a cropped red T-shirt that had A drink in Paradise on the front and Paradise Brew’s logo on the back. Once I had changed, she had given me a quick rundown of things and introduced me to her staff.

  So far, things had been going smoothly. Several of The Judgment guys came in, and I took their tables. A few college kids were at the pool tables, and some men that worked at a local power plant were at the bar. We stayed busy enough that there had been no time for her to ask me about Micah and what had happened on Friday night. I knew he hadn’t spoken to her since then, but I had texted with her a few times, assuring her that things were fine.

  Momma, on the other hand, had surprised me by stopping by yesterday, and Micah’s laundry that I had washed was still folded on the coffee table. That hadn’t gone over well. She had the church prayer chain praying for my soul, and I expected a visit from the reverend any day now. Wouldn’t that be a sight if he came by when Micah was there?