This time, I had to fight it. I couldn’t rely on someone else to be strong for me. I had to find that strength inside myself. When it all was stripped away, it was me I was left with, and that girl I had been was grown up now. I could overcome the past. It was time to conquer my demons.

  The library was busy today, and that helped keep me from getting inside my own head. I focused on each task at hand and didn’t try and work through what had happened this morning. When I had first gotten to work, I had almost texted Micah that I was sorry—twice—but I’d turned my phone off and put it in the back office so I wouldn’t be tempted to pull it out in a moment of weakness.

  I had nothing to apologize for. He did. I loved the man, but I needed to love myself too. Not cutting this morning had been a milestone for me. In the past, that would have sent me down a spiral. It made me feel stronger, walking out of the apartment this morning without hurting myself. It had been a small step, but it was giving me the will to take more.

  “Do you mind running this book over to Professor Nobleman?” Zander asked as he held out a thick textbook to me. “I would, but there are five more books I need to pull for other inquiries.”

  I took the book. “I got it,” I assured him. “Any other books I need to deliver?”

  He shook his head. “Not at the moment.”

  The art building was half a mile away, but with the traffic and parking, it would be faster to walk it over there. Heading out the door and down the steps, I realized too soon that walking alone was going to give me time to think about Micah. I tried to think about the essay I had to write for my psychology class and the dynamic with my mom as the point of interest. She’d never read it, so I should be safe from getting my earful.

  The sun was extra bright, and I squinted as I stopped at the crosswalk. I wished I’d grabbed my sunglasses. This was sure to give me a headache. My eyes were sensitive. At least the pain of a migraine would dull everything else. Like the constant, heavy ache in my chest that Micah had left there.

  “Dolly?” A female voice called out my name.

  I turned to see Calista walking from the library parking lot in my direction. She was wearing a pair of skintight jeans, a sleeveless red blouse, and high-heeled black boots. Her long blonde hair was blowing in the breeze, and I hated that she reminded me of a shampoo commercial.

  Why was she here? Had Micah sent her to explain things to me?

  I held on to that hope tightly as I waited for her to reach me.

  “Can I help you?” I asked her when she stopped in front of me with that perfect white smile of hers.

  “Yes, I came to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”

  “I’m taking this book to a professor, but I can spare a few seconds,” I replied, unable to keep the dislike from my tone.

  “I shouldn’t have bothered you at work. It’s just that Micah told me you saw my text, and I feel terrible about you thinking it meant something it didn’t. He said for me not to worry about it, but I can’t help it. You seem awfully sweet, and”—she paused and gave me a small, apologetic smile—“Micah is…well, Micah. He doesn’t think about women’s feelings. I’ve been dealing with some things, and Micah listened to me last night. He’s always known me better than anyone else, and we…we’ve always had a connection. Time and distance haven’t changed that. He was able to help me with things and clear my head. Nothing more happened.”

  Every word that came out of her mouth felt like the paring knife in my kitchen was slicing away at my skin all on its own. I stood there, listening to the only woman Micah had loved tell me they had a connection and he’d helped her with things last night. Listened to her. Been with her. Even if they hadn’t physically done anything, he’d emotionally been with her. In a way he never had with me.

  “I see,” I replied because any other words would be too hard to verbalize.

  “I still love him. I always will,” she told me. “And to be fair, I want you to know that’s why I came back.”

  What little hope I had left, the strands I had been clinging to, all snapped free at that moment. I stood there, staring up at the woman who could take Micah from me. Who would take Micah from me. I would be left with nothing but memories of a one-sided love affair, and he’d forget me.

  I just nodded. No words would come.

  What would I say even if they did? I couldn’t claim him and fight back. You couldn’t fight for something you never had.

  She, on the other hand, could. She’d had everything I wanted, and she was back to take it.

  She slid her sunglasses down over her eyes. “I just wanted to clear the air. I know you’re important to Pepper, and I don’t want her upset with me. I thought at least smoothing things over with you would aid in that.”

  Still, I said nothing.

  “I’ll let you get back to work,” she replied, then turned and walked away.

  I stood there, watching her go. Not moving. Unaware of the world around me. I had to snap out of it. I knew I did.

  Turning, I stepped out onto the road as the anguish of all I had almost had and already lost sank in. The honk of the horn and the sound of screeching tires barely registered in my head. Physical pain radiated through my entire body, and then the blackness rushed over me. I clung to it, thankful for blessed relief.

  33

  Micah

  “She’s working with Acree. The tracker you slipped on her last night confirms it,” Liam said, walking into his office that sat above the strip club in Gainesville, Florida, that The Judgment had bought three years ago so he could be close to his daughter and grandson.

  “Fucking bitch,” I muttered, not surprised.

  Calista showing up had been a red flag. Liam agreed with me, and we’d decided the best thing to do was track her. See where she was going and who she was with when she wasn’t trying to get me alone to talk to her.

  “He’s got bigger balls than I thought, or he’s the stupidest fucker I’ve ever known,” Liam said, handing me the printout of Calista’s locations since I’d planted the tracking device on her last night.

  She’d left River Styx, where I had agreed to meet her at midnight, and gone straight to the Crowns’ compound. She’d been there all night.

  “I saw how messed up he was when Gage was done with him. He’s physically scarred for life. There has to be some fucking screw loose in his head. Challenging us is challenging them. And he got a taste of what the family will do to him. Is one hundred grand really worth it, or do you think he’s seeking revenge and thinking he can use Calista?”

  Liam shook his head. “No fucking clue. But you need to make sure that everyone is on alert. Use Calista to your benefit. Get info out of her if you can and see if you can get a recorder on something of hers. Any communication she has is important.”

  I shook my head, thinking about this morning with Dolly. That had been fucking brutal. “I can’t pretend with Calista. Dolly saw a text from her this morning, and she’s not happy about it. I was caught off guard and fucking pissed Calista had texted me. I didn’t know what to tell Dolly, but I gotta get back and fix shit.”

  Liam raised his eyebrows and leaned forward on the desk, resting on his elbows. “You’re worried about hurting Dolly?”

  I nodded.

  A grin spread across his face, and then he let out a bark of laughter. “I’ll be goddamn.”

  I wasn’t amused. “Don’t,” I snapped. “This is about finding out what the fuck Canyon is up to and stopping it. I want Calista out of town. Away from me and The Judgment.”

  “Because her being around is upsetting Dolly?”

  “No. Yes, but you know it’s more than that. It’s the fucking scum that I don’t trust.”

  Liam nodded and leaned back in his chair, still grinning at me like I was a damn sideshow.

  My phone rang, and I glanced down at it and saw Tex’s name. He knew what we were dealing with today, and I had him keeping an eye on Calista while I was gone. I didn’t trust her not to go after Dolly. She saw her as competition, and Calista didn’t like it when she felt as if she had to compete. What she didn’t realize was, Tink wasn’t competition.

  She was mine.

  “Yeah,” I said, answering the phone.

  “You need to get back,” Tex said, his voice tense.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, standing up, my eyes locked on Liam’s.

  “It’s Dolly, man.”

  My heart slammed against my chest as I gripped the phone tighter. “What’s wrong with Dolly?” I demanded, finding it hard to suck in air.

  “She was hit. By a car. She’s at the hospital now. I’m here. Just get here,” he said.

  “What the fuck?!” I roared.

  Nothing could have prepared me for the terror that shook me.

  “She walked in front of a car.” He paused and let out a heavy sigh. “You need to get here.”

  No. No. No. This wasn’t happening. I couldn’t lose her. No.

  “What hospital?” I asked hoarsely.

  “Mercy.”

  “Tell her I’m on my way.”

  He didn’t say anything, and I felt as if someone had shoved their hand into my chest and yanked out my fucking heart.

  “I will. If she wakes up.”

  I ended the call, my eyes burning as well as my lungs as I struggled to breathe. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. Not my Tink. I couldn’t lose her.

  “FUCK!” I roared as I grabbed the chair I was in and hurled it across the room.

  “Micah, what’s wrong?” Liam asked, coming around the table toward me.

  “I have to go. It’s Dolly,” I choked out.

  “I’ll drive. You can’t drive like this.”

  “The fuck I can’t!” I snarled and stormed out the office door, then broke into a run down the stairs and out into the parking lot.

  Slamming through the doors the nurse had pointed me to, I paused as my eyes scanned the packed room. Pepper shot up out of her chair in the midst of Judgment members, prospects, and ol’ ladies. Her face was stricken, eyes swollen and red, and I felt like my world had just been snatched from me.

  “Where is she?” I asked her.

  “Surgery,” she replied. “They think there is internal bleeding.”

  “FUCK!” I shouted, my voice laced with the agony gripping me. I bent down with my hands on my knees as the pain seared through my body. “What happened?” My voice was thick and hoarse. It didn’t even sound like me.

  “You need to sit down,” Pepper told me. “Come with me.”

  Her hand touched my back, and I flinched.

  “I can’t sit down, Pep. I can’t fucking breathe.”

  I heard her sniffle, and I gripped my knees tighter.

  “Don’t cry. Don’t you fucking cry. She’s going to be okay. She has to be okay. She has to. She has to be okay.”

  I heard her small sob, and I jerked away from her. I couldn’t listen to her cry. It meant she doubted that Tink would make it.

  “Tell me what the fuck happened!” I demanded to no one in particular. I just needed an answer.

  “Calista went and talked to her. I followed her, watched it,” Tex said from across the room.

  The look on his face almost doubled me over again. I needed someone to tell me she was going to be okay. Not look as if they were preparing for a damn funeral.

  “I don’t know what she said, but it upset Dolly. I was waiting until Calista left to go check on Dolly, but she turned and walked right into oncoming traffic.”

  Calista. Fucking Calista. I was going to kill her and Canyon Acree too. Both of them would die.

  “I called 911 as I ran to check on her. I was with her the entire time. Until they put her in the ambulance. Then, I followed it here,” Tex explained.

  I saw the blood on his shirt beneath his vest now. Dolly’s blood.

  “Mrs. Dixon,” Pepper said, snapping my attention from Tex to the woman walking into the room.

  She was petite, older, had darker hair than Dolly’s, but the mouth and eyes were the same.

  “What happened, Pepper?” the woman asked, her eyes damp with tears and her nose bright red as she clenched a tissue in her hand.

  “She didn’t see a car and stepped out onto the crosswalk, Mrs. Dixon. They have her back in surgery now,” Pepper said, putting her arm around the woman.

  I watched as Dolly’s mother looked around the room and tensed up, her eyes widening.

  “It’s okay,” Pepper assured her. “These are friends of Dolly. They care about her. That’s my brother, Micah.”

  Mrs. Dixon’s eyes swung over to look at me. She assessed me slowly, then sniffled and wiped at her nose again. “I guess that explains a lot,” she said, then narrowed her eyes at me. “Dolly is a good girl. She was raised to do right.”

  I nodded my head. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She sighed and let out a small sob. “Last I talked to her, I was upset. We had words.”

  Pepper kept her arm around the woman. “She knows you love her. Girls argue with their moms.”

  “But she’s fragile, and it’s my fault,” the woman said as a louder cry came from her.

  Pepper walked her over to the chair she had been sitting in, and Grinder jumped up out of the seat beside it so that Pepper could sit down with her. I saw Pep whispering to her and consoling her.

  Looking at her, I wanted to feel sympathy. But I couldn’t. I agreed with her. She had let Tink down. She’d allowed her to suffer abuse I still didn’t know the details of. I wasn’t sure I could forgive the woman for that. Tink had deserved more as a child. She’d needed protection, and her mother had failed her. It was a momma’s job to protect their children. Tink had no one.

  The image of her bloody thigh and the knife on the kitchen table felt like its own raw blade ripping at my soul. Dolly had been through so much. She’d survived. She had been strong and overcome more than anyone should have to. Now, she was in there, fighting for her life, and the last thing I’d said to her was cruel. I hadn’t reassured her like she needed. I hadn’t told her what she had been asking with those amber eyes of hers.

  I had been too fucking scared to say it. She needed to hear it, and I hadn’t been able to say it. The realization that I might never get the chance destroyed me.

  I leaned back against the wall and stared at the door, willing a doctor to walk through and tell me she was going to be okay. That I could go see her.

  “Liam just texted,” Jars said to me.

  I looked in his direction.

  “He and Hughes took some men and are headed to find Canyon now. He said to tell you to stay here. Keep him updated, and they’ll handle the rest.”

  I wanted to be the one to face Canyon. I wanted it to be me who tortured him, but I wasn’t leaving Tink.

  “Tell him to hold Acree until I can deal with him.”

  34

  Micah

  The doors opened after what felt like a fucking eternity, and a doctor walked inside the room.

  He paused for a moment, then cleared his throat. “Is the immediate family of Dolly Dixon present?”

  I didn’t wait for her mother to speak before walking across the room to the man who looked barely old enough to be out of college. “How is she?” I demanded.

  He blinked and took a step back as he stared up at me. “And you are immediate family?” he asked, his tone giving away his nervousness.

  “Yes,” I barked. “How is she?”

  He cleared his throat and looked around the room.

  “I’m her mother,” Mrs. Dixon said, stepping up beside me. “Is my daughter going to be okay?”

  The doctor glanced back at me, then turned his gaze back to Mrs. Dixon. If he didn’t start talking, I was going to pin him to the goddamn wall with my hand around his throat.

  “The most serious injury is the punctured lung,” he said, shifting his attention to me only briefly. “We have her sedated, and the chest tube has been put in place. The good news is, there is no brain bleed, which had been a major concern since her head was hit and the amount of blood she lost. The fracture to her tibia is an open one. Meaning it broke through the skin and surgery was required to set it.” The doctor smiled at Mrs. Dixon. “It was touch and go for a minute, but Dolly is going to be fine. She came through everything perfectly. You should be able to go back and see her in the next couple of hours. A nurse will come get you.” He paused and took in the room of bikers again, then looked at me. “It will be limited visitation at first with just immediate family.”

  “I understand,” Mrs. Dixon replied, then let out a sob. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  The doctor nodded, then turned and got out of the room as quickly as he could.

  Mrs. Dixon turned to Pepper and threw her arms around her neck. “She’s gonna be okay. Thank you, Lord!”

  Pepper patted her back and looked at me as she held Dolly’s mother. Her eyes were damp with tears of pure relief.

  I leaned back against the nearest wall and closed my eyes. Dolly was okay. She had some bad fucking injuries, but she would heal. I’d take care of her. She’d be fine.

  I sucked in a deep breath and hung my head. I could have lost her. The best thing that had ever happened to me, and I’d almost lost her.

  “You okay?” Pepper asked, and I lifted my head to see my sister standing in front of me. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

  “I am now,” I said hoarsely.

  She let out a shaky sigh. “Yeah, me too.”

  I rested my head back on the wall. “I love her, Pep.”

  She smirked. “I know. I just wasn’t sure you did.”

  “I’ve known. I should have told her already.”