“Think we should head downstairs?”

  “Yeah. Not sure I can move, though. I’ve been stuck here for so long.”

  Eli laughed, tipped her bottle up so she could chug the rest of it and then slapped her knee. “Let me clean up a little while you loosen up your muscles.”

  Bridget rolled her eyes, but Eli stood up, wobbling a bit as she made her way through the den, cleaning up after everyone. She came back, holding her arms out for Bridget.

  They stumbled upright, Bridget wobbling far more than she thought she should. Eli laughed and held her still until she could grab her knee scooter and roll herself to the basement. They got to the stairs, and Bridget shook her head at it.

  “It was stupid to get buzzed.”

  “Sure it was, but it was fun.”

  Snorting, Bridget sat on her butt and moved down a step. She giggled as she went down the next step. Eli carried her scooter down and waited for her until she got to the bottom, then helped her to stand up.

  “Thanks, Eli.”

  “Any time.”

  Bridget grabbed Eli’s hand to get her full attention. “No, I mean it. Thank you. I don’t deserve a friend like you.”

  “Sure you don’t.” Eli clapped her good shoulder hard and turned to leave, but Bridget wasn’t done yet.

  She snagged Eli’s hand again. “I’m serious.”

  “I know you are, Bridge. You’re always serious. I think tonight was the first time I’ve seen you have fun since college. You should do it more often. You light up the room when you’re relaxed.”

  “You…you don’t have to say things like that anymore.”

  “I say it because I mean it.” Eli eyed her.

  “Thanks.” Bridget awkwardly stared at Eli before sighing. “And I really am sorry about how everything started with Sarah and me. I like her, and I’m really happy that you found her.”

  “I think she found me more than I found her.” Eli winked and tried to walk away, but Bridget held her firmly. “What is it?”

  “I’m being serious.”

  Eli laughed again. “Like I said two seconds ago, you’re always serious.”

  “I’d like to meet her again, when I’m not such a bitch.”

  “Well, I think that can be arranged. She’s coming home soon.” Eli’s gaze danced with laughter. “Maybe the two of you will become the best of friends.”

  “Doubt that, but at least maybe we can be personable. She’s not…she’s not upset that I’m staying here?”

  “No, Bridge. Why are we rehashing this? Sarah encouraged it. She’s not an idiot. You needed a place to stay, I have the room, it made perfect sense for you to come here, and she supported the idea. I talked to her about it before I even mentioned it to you.”

  Confused, Bridget cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing, Bridget. You’re always welcome here, no matter what.” Eli gave a wan smile. “But, Bridget, I’m drunk, I’m tired, and I have to get up for chores. So I’m going to bed.”

  “Right.” Bridget pressed her lips tightly together. “Can you help me get changed?”

  Eli laughed. “Yes.”

  They maneuvered into the guest room Bridget had been staying in. She sat heavily on the edge of the mattress and pushed off her slippers. She could get her pants off by that point, but it took forever. She’d do it, though. What she still needed help with were the damn shirts.

  Eli gripped the edge of her shirt and tugged while Bridget pulled her arm through. Eli stretched the arm out so they could get her arm through with the least amount of movement. The X-rays she’d gotten most recently proved she was healing well, but it was still annoying to have to wait for her body to do what it needed.

  As soon as she had a night shirt on, Eli told her goodnight and left. Bridget spent the next ten minutes shimmying slowly out of her sweatpants and pulling on her pajamas. She was exhausted by the end and her head spun from the alcohol. She’d needed the break with her deputies, but more than that, she needed to get back to normal life.

  Staring at the ceiling in a room that wasn’t hers in a house she didn’t belong in, Bridget closed her eyes as the tears fell. She hated being weepy, but it had almost seemed like her norm lately. She didn’t like it. She needed to find something in her life she enjoyed because right now everything seemed pretty damn bleak. Except for Jerica. She was a light in this tunnel of darkness.

  Latching on to that thought, Bridget stayed still on her back and calmed her mind. She’d need water in the morning so she wouldn’t be so hungover, but for now, she was going to lie there until she fell asleep. When morning came, she was going to try to have a different attitude about life, about her prospects and her future, and maybe she would find a little bit of the elusive happiness that Eli seemed to have stumbled upon.

  CHAPTER 8

  Bridget hadn’t planned anything. Four days of sitting on her ass and she hadn’t done a single thing to get ready for her date. She stared at her phone with a text from Jerica saying she’d be up in a few hours, which meant she had exactly two hours or less to plan a date when she could barely move.

  God, she was an idiot.

  If she wanted this to go right, then she should have done it right. Instead, she’d wallowed and avoided and tried not to think about the fact that she was going on her first real date since Eli. Though hell would freeze over before she told Eli that.

  Years had gone by and she hadn’t even noticed. She’d become the old maid she’d always worried she would be with no hope of finding someone to spend her life with. And yet, there was Jerica. They had a date, a mostly proper date as much as could be expected with Bridget still an invalid, and she had done nothing to prepare for it.

  Shifting out of the bed, Bridget grabbed her scooter and pushed herself into the bathroom. Eli was already out in the fields for the morning, doing her rounds, but Bridget had gotten lazy about sleeping in and using the time to literally do nothing but stare at the ceiling.

  Ugh, it’s not even just the date.

  Bridget had forgone doing anything normal lately simply because she had no desire to work on it. Maybe all the stress and trauma was hitting and the shock was finally wearing off. Or maybe she still only had half a working body and wasn’t thrilled about having to figure out how to do things on her own in a house that wasn’t hers and felt like such a damn burden.

  Yeah, that last one was it. Pushing the knee scooter into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and stared at her reflection. She was looking older by the minute. Her skin was still pale and somewhat ashen from all the blood loss, even though she was doing well on that front according to the doctors. It would take a few months for that to vanish. But the wrinkles around her eyes were growing deeper, she had a few gray hairs here and there that she didn’t want to admit were present.

  She was not a beautiful woman. She’d always known that. Her sister had gotten her looks from their mother, and Bridget had been an awkward mix of their father and his father. She’d always known she was ugly, and her mother and told her as much, multiple times. She’d also insisted Bridget keep her hair long to try and look more like a girl since her features were so boyish.

  She tossed her toothbrush onto the counter and gritted her teeth. She had to get their damn voices out of her head. She’d worked so hard to do that in the past few years, but since the accident their voices had come raging back.

  She couldn’t do the date. She should just text Jerica, cancel, blame it on pain or something, and never try to reschedule it. Bridget had learned over the years that she was not someone who should be bothered with attempting relationships. She wasn’t built for them, and as nice as they sounded, as wonderful as they seemed, she always seemed to ruin them.

  “Hey!” Eli stepped into the doorway, leaning against it. “Glad you’re finally up.”

  “Yeah,” Bridget mumbled.

  Eli scrunched her nose. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Shaking her head, Bridget picked up her toothbrush, cleaned it and put it back where it belonged. She had to remember this wasn’t her house, and she had to take care of things that weren’t hers. She and Eli had lived together once before, but that was before their relationship and friendship had gone south.

  “I can see something’s wrong. What is it? Jerica cancel on you?”

  Bridget flicked her gaze to Eli’s eyes before dropping it to the ground.

  “Oh my God, she didn’t, did she? I’ll kick her ass.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. Why would anyone cancel on you?”

  “Why wouldn’t they?”

  Eli paused, sighed, then cocked her head at Bridget. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “Why wouldn’t they cancel? I mean…we dated. You know I’m not exactly a good girlfriend.”

  Clenching her jaw, Eli shook her head. “Come sit down and talk. You look like you’re going to fall over.”

  They made their way to the couch in the small living room the basement boasted. Eli crossed her ankle over her knee and pressed her lips together. “Don’t be so hard on yourself because our relationship didn’t work out.”

  “I should be.”

  “No, you shouldn’t. Yes, there were mistakes made on both of our parts, but we just weren’t meant to be.”

  “I still love you, though.” Bridget risked a glance to Eli, testing her reaction on that one. She’d said it before and it hadn’t gone over well, but they’d also been arguing and Bridget had been crossing boundaries. This time she said it in honest truth.

  Eli nodded. “I love you, too, but I’m not in love with you anymore. You were my first love, and I’ve always loved you as a friend. There’s no way around that. I think I’ll always love you in some way.”

  “Hence why you answer calls for help?”

  Eli laughed. “You know I can’t resist a woman in distress. I must help.”

  “You do like to be the knight in shining armor. You always wanted to be the guy.”

  “Shut up.”

  Bridget snickered and then groaned, dropping her head back onto the couch. “I didn’t plan anything.”

  “For what?”

  She shifted her gaze to Eli. “For my date with Jerica. I think I should just tell her not to come.”

  “You’re an idiot. First, you should plan better. Second, I told you I would help.”

  “I know. I just…”

  “You’re chickening out.”

  Bridget shrugged. “What can we do up here for a date with a gimp?”

  Eli gave Bridget a sharp look. “Don’t call yourself that. When is she coming?”

  “In a couple hours.”

  “We can do lunch out on the deck, if you want. There are guests here, so I imagine there will be people around. You can come down here, though.”

  “And have her watch me scoot down the stairs on my ass?”

  Eli snorted, trying and failing to hold in her laugh. “You’re right about that. Hmm…what about a puzzle?”

  “I should just cancel.”

  “No! We can figure this out. You wanted this date, right?”

  “I guess,” Bridget mumbled.

  “You guess?”

  Eli’s tone made Bridget’s stomach twist. “I don’t know, Eli. I’m not sure I should do this.”

  “Why not? What’s holding you back?”

  Initially, Bridget wanted to say that Eli was holding her back, but that had been the excuse she’d used for years, and she really couldn’t anymore. She was so happy for Eli, for what she and Sarah had found together, and she’d taken the long, hard journey to get to that conclusion. Pressing her lips together, she thought deeply, wanting an answer. Finally, when she looked up at Eli, she had tears in her eyes. “I’ll fuck it up.”

  “How will you fuck it up?” Eli’s voice was so gentle. Bridget wanted to fall into it, use it for support.

  “Because I always do.”

  “Do you know why?”

  Bridget nodded, though she wasn’t sure she had words for it. She had tried for years to figure it out and stop it from happening, but she’d always ended up back in the same damn spiral. “I’m not worthy.”

  “Oh, Bridge.”

  That pitying tone was back, and Bridget wanted to run away from it, but she was stuck on the damn couch because she couldn’t move fast enough to escape. She blinked her eyes to try and keep the tears at bay, but it wasn’t working. Eli reached up and cupped her cheek, lifting her chin.

  “You are so worthy of love. I promise you that. No one is more worthy or more in need of it than you are.”

  Bridget clenched her jaw hard, no idea what to say or how to make this flood of emotions stop. She’d always been able to keep herself composed in situations like this, but her mood had been all over the place since the accident.

  “I love you. That’s a good place to start, isn’t it?” Eli was so earnest.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Good.” Eli’s smile was brilliant, a light in Bridget’s darkness. “You need to make sure Jerica knows all this, if she’s really someone you want to be with longer term, all right? You need to be open with her and with yourself to make this work.”

  “I know,” Bridget mumbled, wiping her hand over her face to clear the tears from her skin. “It’s not easy.”

  “No, it’s not.” Eli sighed. “Want a hug?”

  “Yeah.” Bridget melted into her as Eli dragged her in for an embrace. It was nothing more than mere friendship that Eli offered, but it was exactly what she needed and when she needed it. She’d been so alone for so long, and comfort blossomed, knowing that she wasn’t going to be alone any longer, that someone would be there for her, even if it was just as a friend.

  “Good. When you get your shit together, we’ll figure out that date, okay?”

  “Okay.” Bridget swallowed down more tears, silently thanking Eli for the break in the emotion so she could pull herself together.

  They sat there for the next hour, tossing ideas back and forth about the impending date. Finally, Eli slapped her hands on her thighs and stood up. “If we don’t actually get doing something for a plan, then there will be nothing for the two of you to do.”

  “I suppose.”

  Eli held out her hand to help Bridget up. “Come on, you’re going to help me cook lunch at least. Fuck, I wish Sarah was here. She’s so much better at this than I am.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh yeah. She likes dates. I prefer…other things.” Eli’s cheeks tinged red, and Bridget could only guess what she was thinking of. “So, lunch, deck, and card games. I think that’s an adequate first date with limited mobility in a strange place. Don’t you?”

  “I guess.” Bridget sounded morose again, even though she didn’t want to. She wanted to give this date a good chance at succeeding, but everything in the pit of her belly told her it was going to fail. Massively.

  Bridget was at the dining room table when Jerica arrived. Her stomach fluttered as she came into the house, Eli trailing right behind her. She was absolutely gorgeous, her long curly hair around her shoulders and down her back. She’d dolled up her makeup this time too, compared to any time Bridget had seen her at the hospital.

  “Hey,” Jerica said, her eyes locked on Bridget’s face.

  “Hey,” Bridget answered, all the other words she could have come up with vanishing from her mind.

  Eli grinned at both of them before moving into the kitchen. “Want a drink, Jerica?”

  “Uh… sure.”

  “Water, tea, lemonade?”

  “Lemonade sounds good.”

  Bridget couldn’t tear her gaze away. Jerica sat kitty-corner from Bridget, putting her purse over the back of the chair and smiling.

  Eli came over, set the drinks in front of them, and eyed them both. “When you two finally stop eyeing each other like candy, just to let you know, Jerica, this is a B&B, so I have guests here. They’ll be in and out but shouldn’t bother you too much.”

  “Thanks.” Jerica flicked her gaze to Eli, then focused back on Bridget.

  Eli made herself scarce, though Bridget knew she’d be around to check on dinner. “We thought we’d eat on the deck to avoid the crowds.”

  “We?”

  Bridget balked. Wiping her sweaty palms on her pants, she tried to backtrack, but couldn’t find a way. “Eli and I.”

  “So she helped plan this?”

  “I’m not super useful right now.” Bridget raised her broken arm. “So I needed her help, yeah. And it’s her house, so I didn’t want to do anything without her permission.”

  Jerica nodded. “I get it. How are you doing, though? It’s been a few weeks.”

  “Moving better.” Bridget clenched her jaw. She didn’t want to go down that road. She was so tired of talking about how she was doing, how she was healing, if she was still in pain. Jerica might be a nurse, but she really didn’t want to talk about that.

  “That’s good. So, since you planned this whole thing, what are we doing?”

  “Uh…” Bridget glanced around for Eli, wishing she was there as a buffer and to help explain what all was planned because Bridget had forgotten it as soon as Jerica walked in. Her heart raced, and she fiddled with the edge of her shirt. “Dinner.”

  Jerica chuckled lightly. “I assumed that, but anything else?”

  “Cards?”

  Jerica eyed her suspiciously. “What kind of cards? I have to tell you, I’m undefeated at Go Fish.”

  Bridget laughed. “No, something else.”

  “All right, your loss.” Jerica reached over and touched Bridget’s upper arm where the cast wasn’t covering her skin. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yeah.” Bridget breathed heavily. “I’m fine. We uh…we can go into the den if you want. I think the cards are in there.”

  “Sure. This house is gorgeous.”

  “It is.” Bridget maneuvered herself so she could stand up, grabbing her knee scooter so she could take it most of the way. Jerica followed her. “I spent a lot of nights here when we were growing up. We always preferred to be here than at my house.”