I bowed out of lunch early. I was too worried about Sonya to get into the fun, but at least most everyone sent me back with their sympathy and encouragement for her landing more TV or movie offers.

  They were all going home from there anyway. No one was coming back to work today.

  When I got back to the office, she was pacing the length of the Writers’ room, a scowl etched on her face.

  I stopped in the doorway. “What’s wrong?” Not that she needed to add more to the list, but the atmosphere in here was heavier than when I left.

  “Meeting with Mom and Dominic.” She didn’t look up. “Pretty sure she’s the reason the other offers were withdrawn.”

  I didn’t realize I was growling until the sound reached my ears. “Where’s she staying? I’m going to talk to her.” Fuck that woman. Sonya deserved so much better. From anyone, but especially her own mother, and I was going to tell her so.

  Sonya shook her head. “Supposedly she’s catching a plane so she’s probably at the airport. Fuck. She tried to make Dominic look like an idiot. She failed, but… She made me look like an idiot. I can’t believe I never saw… Why?”

  The anger in her voice melted to frustration and her last question shredded my heart.

  “Dominic advised me to walk away from her offer.” Now sadness mingled with Sonya’s words.

  I’d held my tongue for so long about her mother because Sonya insisted she’s family. She loves me. But that wasn’t going to last. “You hired him because he knows what he’s talking about.”

  “But what if I don’t get another offer. My books could be on TV. My books.”

  “They wouldn’t be though.” I grabbed her wrist and yanked her to a stop, forcing her to look at me. “Your name would be in the credits”—I assumed. I hoped.—“but they wouldn’t be your books. I’m going to call her. I’m going to tell her exactly what I think of this bullshit.”

  Sonya frowned. “And you don’t think she’ll tell you in return what she thinks of you? She spent last night calling Quentin boarder. She said it with so much disdain. The number of times she tried to imply today that she thought Dominic was an incompetent idiot. That my stories were shit covered cubic zirconia?”

  And now I was angry. “Which is why I’m going to rip her a new one.”

  “And she’ll rip back.” Her phone rang and she ignored it.

  “Don’t you want the closure of telling her how she’s treating you?”

  Sonya shook her head. “I want her to understand how she makes me feel. If telling her doesn’t do that, it doesn’t matter.”

  “You don’t see, do you?” My phone chimed with a new text, but this conversation was important.

  “See what?”

  I grasped her fingers in mine, and held her gaze. “This isn’t about her. About whether she understands or not. It’s about what you need, and if that includes telling that woman you’re worth far more than she’ll ever be is on that list, then it needs to be done.”

  Sonya worked her jaw. “I’m not. Even if she’s wrong about how she treats me, I’m not what you think I am.”

  “But you are.”

  Sonya sighed. “You should see who’s trying to get a hold of you.” She grabbed her phone.

  Like that, she’d shut down. I wanted to push, but I needed her to hear me, and right now she wouldn’t. I glanced at my phone. “It’s Megan,” I said at the same time Sonya did.

  She looked up from her own phone. “Mine’s a voicemail. She says I have to call her back right now.”

  “Mine is asking where you are.”

  Sonya dialed, and the ringing echoed through the speaker of her phone. The conversation about her mother wasn’t over, but concern for my sister was more immediate.

  “Sonya, thank God.” Megan answered with panic in her voice.

  “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” I asked. “Do you need help?”

  Her nervous laugh was tinny. “Nothing like that. Sorry to worry you. I just need to talk to Sonya.”

  “You should probably tell both of us. He looks pretty concerned.” Sonya’s tone was lighter and calmer than it had been seconds ago.

  “I’m not in trouble or anything, I just found out…” Megan sighed heavily. “I need you to cancel any plans you made for my bachelorette party in two weeks, and I was hoping you’d have enough time to get deposits back and such.”

  That wasn’t right. “Why?”

  “Because we have other plans. A work thing for him.”

  Him would be her fiancé. “Sonya’s had this planned for you for months.”

  “And that’s why I wanted to talk to her, not you,” Megan said.

  Sonya gave me a look that was half apology, half I’ll handle this, pressed a button on her phone, and put the device to her ear. “Are you sure you want to cancel?… The deposits aren’t an issue, this is your party… No, I get it… What are you doing tomorrow night?… Good. You’re coming to my place… It’s a surprise… Of course a good one, see you then.” She hung up and set her phone on her desk. “I need your help.”

  “Anything.”

  “I’m going to throw her a party tomorrow instead, and you’re going to help me plan it.”

  “You got it, boss.” That was something I could do. “The offices are basically closed for the rest of the day, we should go back to your place and do this.”

  “Loop Quentin in?”

  I couldn’t tell if her voice was hopeful or just a little sad, or…

  Probably both, given the circumstances. “Exactly.” I’d expected jealousy this morning when she told me Quentin was there for her last night when she hadn’t let me be. Instead I was glad someone was there, and specifically that it was him.

  “And you’re sure we can take off for the day? I kind of feel like I should make up missing time from this morning.”

  “You shouldn’t.” I grabbed her purse and phone and put both in her hands. “Meet me at your place.” If she wanted this as a distraction, I could deliver. Especially for a good cause like making sure Megan had a good party.

  I was bothered that she’d cancelled the original. Or rather, that her fiancé had. But Sonya looked excited about making this new plan. And in a few hours, when she’d had time to think and was in a better mood, we’d loop back to her telling her mother to go to Hell.

  When we got to Sonya’s, Quentin’s car wasn’t there. I was more disappointed than I expected.

  Sonya and I dove into party plans, which didn’t take long. It came down to making sure she picked up some alcohol, adult party favors, and hired a striper.

  That was the disappointing part—after calls to the few places we could find that offered such a service, no one was available on such short notice.

  “Is it weird that we’re trying to hire a stripper for a party where half the women are in relationships?” Sonya asked.

  “It’s a little weirder you didn’t ask that before you planned the strip club visit for the original party.”

  “Fair point.” Sonya let out a short laugh.

  It was the best sound I’d heard her make all day. How could I get her to laugh more?

  A short while later, Quentin walked in the front door. “Is Jeremy here?”

  “Hello,” I called.

  He walked into the living room with a takeout bag in hand. “Good thing I brought extra.”

  “Dinner?” Sonya sniffed the air. “Pork buns?”

  “Of course. And everything else we like. I got a cash bonus from today’s job and I wanted to splurge.” Quentin set the bag on the coffee table and started laying out boxes.

  Sonya vanished into the kitchen and returned quickly with plates and two forks. Quentin wielded chopsticks like they were an extension of his hand as we all dished out a bit of everything. The way they did little things without any conversation made it clear this was a regular occurrence for them, but I felt like I was a part of it. A piece that slid into place rather than marring the picture.

  “Can I assume if you’re both here, it was a good day?” Quentin asked.

  Sonya’s frown flitted in and my anger at her mother surged back.

  He looked at her then me. “What happened?”

  “I can tell him if it’s easier,” I offered.

  Sonya shook her head. “It’s okay. Not that there’s much to tell. Three of the four TV offers for my book were withdrawn.”

  Hearing it again made me just as furious, especially suspecting her mother was behind it.

  “Fucking idiots. Why?” Quentin’s tone and expression matched my thoughts.

  “I don’t know.” Sonya shoved a forkful of food in her mouth.

  I assumed that meant she was done telling her story. This was unfair.

  Quentin set his plate down. “I don’t want to get your hopes up because this probably won’t go anywhere, but just in case… There’s at least one other person out there who’s interested.”

  I hit a pepper in my chicken and the pain seared up my throat. I gasped through the burn and downed a glass and a half of soda before I could breathe again.

  “Can’t handle the heat?” Quentin looked amused.

  “Any time any place,” I retorted, my eyes still watering. “Except maybe this time or place, or any similar.”

  Sonya’s laugh was back. Not as easy as before, but still a lovely sound. “How do you know that? About the person who’s interested?”

  “I worked with Mick on the job site today,” Quentin said.

  He’d spent the day with his ex and came home in a mood like this? The feeling that clenched my chest wasn’t from the peppers, and I liked it even less. “How’d that go?”

  “It was…” He let out a long exhale. “Cleansing? He’s got some old tools I can use for welding. I understand you may have a space for me to work.”

  “I do.” I was glad Sonya had told him, and the idea of having him working close by was much better than the feeling that came from his previous news. “But what does that have to do with…?”

  “I’m getting to that. So, he knows a guy—from his gambling addiction group therapy which is why I’m not sure how real this is— who’s says he’s a big name in Hollywood. Gabriel Groves I guess? Something like that. Anyway, he says he’s interested so I passed along Dominic’s phone number.”

  I hated to be skeptical—Sonya’s books were incredible and other people should think so too, but a big name like that?

  Sonya’s smile matched my thoughts. It was sweet of Quentin to try to cheer her up, but this one didn’t feel like a real lead.

  “Like I said, I don’t know if anything will come of it, but don’t write it off just yet,” Quentin said.

  His words lodged in my thoughts, attaching themselves to more than just the subject at hand. This afternoon, this evening, it all felt right. Was I writing off this relationship because of the past?

  No. This wasn’t the same at all as what Quentin said. I wasn’t discounting Sonya’s friendship or Quentin’s. I was doing the opposite and holding onto what I had with them. Trying to not fuck up what a great thing I had with them.

  “Is this a mourning party?” Quentin asked.

  “No.” Sonya huffed a sigh-laugh. “I definitely don’t need to be wallowing tonight. We’re planning a last-minute bachelorette party for Megan. Speaking of, can I kick you out of the house for a few hours tomorrow night? Unless you’re secretly a stripper and want to be the entertainment for the evening.”

  “I’m definitely not, but I do know a guy. We served together.” Quentin already had his phone out.

  A few minutes later, Sonya had her stripper for her party.

  We finished eating and cleaned up. As we settled in again, Sonya ended up between Quentin and me on the couch. “You know,” he shifted his weight so he was sideways, one arm draped over the back and his leg pressing into Sonya’s thigh.

  “I might consider a limited edition career in stripping for an intimate audience of one or two.” He trailed a light touch up her arm, raising visible goosebumps.

  Her lips parted in a silent sigh.

  I liked where this was heading. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling for either of them—I didn’t dare use the L word, but the emotion that filled me when they were around was different than with anyone else, and it was thrilling and terrifying.

  “I wouldn’t mind a show like that. Or being part of one.” I brushed Sonya’s hair from her face and hovered my mouth near her ear. “What do you think?” I whispered.

  Sonya stood abruptly, and I hurried to catch my balance. Her brows were furrowed, deep lines marring her forehead. “I think casual sex isn’t the solution to every problem.”

  What the…?

  “Solution?” Quentin asked.

  “Celebration. Planning. Stress. Good news. Bad news. Sex isn’t a band aid or a bottle of champagne,” she said.

  I definitely didn’t understand how we’d gotten here. “Sometimes it is.”

  “You aren’t enjoying this?” Quentin’s confusion mirrored mine.

  Sonya jammed her hands in her pockets and turned her attention to her feet. “It was good. All of it was really good, but I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to do casual sex.”

  “One more night for the road, all three of us?” I teased.

  “I said no.” The sharpness of her voice sliced the air.

  Seriously. What just happened? “Okay. No more.”

  “I’m sorry.” Sonya raked her fingers through her hair. “I think I’m going to call it a night. Thank you both for your help. With the party and what-not.”

  The fact that I couldn’t figure out how we got from where we were to here was proof I had no idea what a good relationship was. It was probably better she put an end to things now, before I confused myself further.

  So why did I feel like I was about to lose something huge?

  23

  Quentin

  The night was all but over after Sonya pushed us away. Not that I wanted to walk away. Even without sex I was enjoying their company, and I would’ve stayed up half the night talking to Sonya and Jeremy if that was the way things unfolded.

  But she shut down, and talking around her wasn’t working for me. Jeremy and I managed long enough for him to invite me over during Megan’s party to see if his garage would fit my needs and to give me a place to hang out.

  I expected innuendo in the offer, but there wasn’t any. I couldn’t be the only one considering what it would be like to take things further between him and me.

  When Jeremy announced he should be on his way for the night, I was disappointed but understood. Sonya mumbled a sad good night and I’m sorry and slipped away to her room. It was like the energy in the house was out of balance and there was no way to restore it.

  Saturday morning wasn’t any better. Sonya didn’t come out of her room until after ten, and when she did, her head was down and she wouldn’t meet my gaze.

  “Do you need any help this morning?” I hoped to draw her out. “Shopping? Cooking?”

  She shook her head. “I’m okay. I’ve got it under control.”

  I couldn’t argue that—she was so tightly controlled she’d locked herself down.

  “Have fun at Jeremy’s.” She grabbed a cup of coffee and turned away.

  This was bullshit. “Sonya.”

  She took a few more steps before pausing, but she didn’t look at me.

  “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No. I’m fine. Really.”

  I’d rarely heard a more blatant lie. I stepped in her path, placed a finger under her chin, and raised her gaze to mine.

  She stared back, her expression flat except for the red rimming her eyes. As I searched her face, her chin quivered and she tried to pull away.

  I tightened my grip. “Talk to me.”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “Anything, as long as it’s the truth.” I wouldn’t direct my frustration at her, but I’d need an outlet for it soon.

  Sonya shook her head. “I don’t have any answers besides the ones I’ve given you.”

  Did her voice just waver?

  “So give me something else. Conversation. A comment on the weather. Something.”

  “It looks like it’s going to be a chilly this morning with some nice sunshine later.”

  I let go of her and jammed my hands in my pockets so she wouldn’t see my clench my fists.

  “You don’t have to do this.” Sonya’s voice was definitely not steady.

  “Do what?”

  “Try to fix this,” she said. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I know what the three of us had, and I just need some time.”

  I wanted to say I didn’t understand, because the niggling of a clue I had didn’t add up.

  “Don’t worry about it.” The longer she talked, the more certain she sounded. “You don’t need to reassure me or try to find comforting words. In a few days I’ll be fine and it’ll be like it never happened. It was sex, and it was really good sex, but I knew I didn’t mean more.”

  I heard the I instead of it in her reply. “That’s not—”

  “Seriously.” Sonya cut me off before I could give her a denial I hadn’t thought through. “Go hang out with Jeremy. Have fun. The two of you are incredible together; anyone can see that.”

  Wait. What?

  “I need to get ready,” she said, and vanished into her room.

  I wanted to kick in her door and make her explain. Get her to fill in the thoughts behind everything she just said. This wasn’t the same as when Mick had started shutting me out months before he left, but in some ways it felt worse. I trusted Sonya to not betray me the way he did—a terrifying thing to admit to myself—but what if she vanished from my life?

  The thought hurt more than I expected, squeezing like a clamp around my heart.

  I couldn’t stay here this morning. I left her a note on the whiteboard on the fridge to call me if she needed anything, and I took off. When I got into my car, my frustration broke loose, spilling through my limbs and clawing at my throat.

  “Fuuuuuuuuck,” I screamed as I hammered the steering wheel with the sides of my fists.

  As I drove to Jeremy’s, the vague and exasperating conversation with Sonya replayed in my thoughts. It was as though the entire picture was there, but I couldn’t connect the dots.