Kelly gasped, and Seth pulled back and cupped his cheeks in his hands. “Your family’s coming,” Seth warned. “And I can’t… I just…. Believe the best in me, okay?”

  Kelly nodded, adrift and in pain. “Always.”

  “I’ll write you. If you don’t hear from me, it’s because the world came to an end, okay? ’Cause you’re the only thing keeping me on the planet, you understand? Otherwise, my head, it’s a thousand miles away all the time. So I gotta think about you or I’ll be in outer space.”

  Kelly squeezed his eyes tight. “I like you here,” he said, thinking that on any other day, he could make that funny.

  Seth’s lips on his again was his only answer. Then all that was left was the chill of the hospital air and the sound of Seth’s tennis shoes squeaking across the floor.

  He opened his eyes and Seth had paused in the doorway, looking awful and sad and wrecked.

  “I love you, Kelly Cruz,” Seth said, nodding like that would make this all okay. “I love you more than… than my fucking violin. You’re safe now. Get better. Write me back. I love you.”

  And then he was gone.

  Kelly’s parents came in about two minutes later, and Kelly wondered how Seth had known they were on their way.

  They told him that Castor Durant was dead. His body had been found that morning in the nearby field. And they told him that Seth was leaving the next day.

  But Kelly couldn’t stop crying to hear anything else. Because his boy had bruises and a bloody eye and cuts on the inside of his mouth, and he’d known. He’d known and he’d wanted to tell Kelly goodbye before his parents could tell him what happened.

  And Kelly knew what happened. Knew what he could never tell them. Knew what nobody else could ever put together.

  His boy. His beautiful, faraway boy.

  He’d made Kelly safe. He’d done his best to make Kelly safe.

  But oh God—the cost.

  They’d be paying for that safety for years and years to come.

  THAT AFTERNOON, a police officer came into his room. Young, he was young and pretty hot, when it came to that. Blond, green-eyed, and out of uniform.

  His father greeted the man suspiciously. Apparently, Xavier Cruz remembered the cops who arrived when Kelly was found, and they hadn’t made a good impression.

  “Officer Rivers,” Dad said, his face stony. “You bothered to follow up?”

  The officer had super-fair skin, pitted a little from old acne, and it turned rosy in embarrassment. “My partner’s a dick,” he said, his mouth twisting in a way that said it went much deeper than that. “I’m sorry he was one to talk to you. I was worried about the boy.”

  “And the boy you were supposed to find that attacked him got killed, so now you have a murder you want us to solve.” No, Dad was not going to forgive this guy.

  But Rivers surprised them all. “I’m not on that case,” he said, shaking his head. “I wanted to be. But I picked up some info I thought you’d like to know.”

  Dad cocked his head a little, like he was ready to listen. “Linda? You want to take the girls and Matty to go get sodas?”

  “Sure, Javi.” Mom kissed Dad’s cheek before she left, and an ache bloomed in Kelly’s chest. His parents were still in love. They’d met right out of high school, and they were still in love. He could believe in them. Believe in love. Seth had done a bad thing and needed to leave. But he could come back, right?

  His family filtered out—Agnes too, looking tired but apparently not feverish anymore—and Matty took the rear, glaring at the cop and at Kelly as he went.

  Asshole.

  Kelly had never thought a day would come when he’d trust a cop over his own brother, but Kelly was not interested in anything Matty had to say right now.

  “So,” Dad said, sitting down in the comfy chair and gesturing for the cop to take the not-so-comfy one. “You got something important to say?”

  Rivers nodded. “Two things. One, Castor Durant’s DNA matched the person who assaulted you, Kelly.”

  “They said it would take months,” Kelly croaked, but Rivers shook his head.

  “I know people.” And then he shrugged self-consciously. “I thought it would help to know that the guy who attacked you couldn’t do it again.”

  “He wasn’t alone,” Dad said. “He and his gang of goons—”

  Rivers nodded. “We’ve picked them up. Apparently, Durant’s murder spooked them all into running home. It wasn’t hard to find them. There were confessions all the way around. They’ll go to juvie, and Kelly won’t have to testify. That’s one of the things I wanted you to know.”

  Kelly closed his eyes, letting relief wash over him. Talking about it in public? Oh, that would be a fucking treat. Yeah. He didn’t want to relive those moments when he’d been helpless, violated, the smell coating his skin like grime….

  “Breathe, Kelly,” his dad said softly, and Kelly inhaled as spots danced in front of his eyes.

  “Thanks,” he said, because Rivers didn’t have to come here on his time off and tell him this. It was nice.

  “I’m sorry,” Rivers said, instead of “You’re welcome.” “It was a sucktastic time for you. I wish we could have found you sooner.” He sighed. “I can’t honestly say the same for Castor Durant.”

  Dad made a face like he would have spat if they hadn’t been somewhere clean. “Yeah, well, that kid had it coming.”

  “Kelly’s was not the only match that came up on the DNA,” Rivers agreed. “Mostly girls, but maybe that’s because the boys weren’t reported. He… he was bad news. And from the looks of things, it took more than one person to take him down.”

  Kelly turned his head so quickly, he hurt his entire body. When his vision cleared, he found himself on the receiving end of a speculative look from pretty-as-cake Officer Rivers.

  “What makes you say that?” Dad asked, which was good, because Kelly didn’t have to.

  “There were two different things going on at the crime scene,” Rivers said, his eyes on Kelly. “One person was under Durant, getting the crap beat out of him, and someone else got Durant from behind. Do you know who those people could be, Kelly?”

  “No,” Kelly lied. Seth had obviously been the one getting the crap beat out of him. His eye, the marks on his throat he’d been trying to hide. His voice. Oh God.

  But Seth thought he’d done it.

  Kelly could put that much together from how quickly he’d left. How he’d avoided Kelly’s family.

  From the way he evaded Kelly’s eyes until Kelly had needed him most.

  Rivers nodded and glanced away. Then he looked back. “Durant was bad news. Murder, cold-blooded murder, that’s not right. Killing for revenge, that’s not right. But maybe someone had just gone to, say, warn Durant to stay away from you. And shit went down. That could be… not terrible. A few months in juvie maybe, at the most. You know. In case you have any ideas.”

  Seth? In juvenile hall? When he should be making music? Making his violin weep? When he was on Mars half the time because he heard music in his head and all the music was somewhere else far away?

  Seth?

  In jail? With the same guys who’d held Kelly’s arms while Castor Durant… did what he did?

  His Seth?

  “I got no idea,” he croaked. “I’ve been here. Nothing to see here, right?”

  Rivers tightened his lips. “Still. We’d like to talk to your buddy. The one who found you in the abandoned store. For one thing, he’s a hero. Did you know that?”

  “Because he found Kelly?” Dad asked. “He led the police to him?”

  Officer Rivers raised an eyebrow. “We weren’t on the scene yet. Your buddy kicked the door in and yelled, ‘It’s the cops!’ and scared those assholes away. Didn’t he tell you that?”

  “Oh God…,” Kelly whispered. Seth.

  “He’s a good boy,” Dad rasped, grabbing Kelly’s hand. “We won’t forget that, will we, Kelly?”

  “No.”

  Seth. So brave. Who would have guessed he only came to Earth to be a superhero?

  “He is a good boy,” Officer Rivers agreed. “Do you know where he might be? We’ve been knocking on his door, but neither he nor his father are home.”

  Well, Seth’s Dad had been at Kelly’s house, helping the girls while his parents had been busy at the hospital.

  “No idea.” Kelly let his voice go weaker, like he was getting tired, which wasn’t a stretch.

  Officer Rivers wasn’t buying it, but he wasn’t pressing either. “Well, let him know that if he wants to talk, he needs to talk to me. Not my partner. Deal?”

  Yeah. Neither of them. Seth wasn’t talking to either of these bozos.

  “Will do,” Dad said earnestly, and if Kelly hadn’t been getting tired, he would have smirked.

  As it was, he closed his eyes as his father stood up and saw Rivers out. He kept his eyes closed, even when his dad came back and sat next to his bed, letting out a sigh that almost shook the hospital bed.

  “We won’t tell your mom about that, okay, mijo?”

  “Okay,” Kelly whispered. And he wouldn’t. For many years.

  KELLY WENT home two days later, with a standing appointment to talk to a rape counselor that he had every intention of missing. He’d managed to get out of all his finals at school, which was great. His teachers had all sent emails telling him that his standing grade would suffice, and he was getting As and Bs anyway. Not super-awesome grades—not scholarship grades—but nothing to be ashamed of either.

  He checked the tablet dispiritedly, though, thanking his teachers and then hitting refresh on his email. No word from Seth yet. It had been three days since he’d gotten out of the hospital—and still no word. He could poop okay on his own, the red had cleared from his vision, and with some painkillers, he could lift the tablet, but not much else.

  Recovery was fucking slow was what it was, and not having Seth at home to talk to made it slower.

  “Kelly, please?” Lily was looking at him and biting her lip. “I know you had stuff to check, but I’ve got a project due!”

  “What about Mom’s laptop?”

  “Lulu has that one for her own project. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t ask, but it’s important and—”

  Kelly sighed and handed it over. “Yeah, sorry, Easter flower. I just… you know. Thought Seth would email.” He could still talk about Seth, right? Nobody had charged him with anything. Nobody had said it out loud.

  There were two things happening at that crime scene.

  “Why would Seth want to talk to you?” Matty sneered, walking right out of Kelly’s blind spot, past the kitchen table, and shattering his peace and his train of thought. “Think he wants you now? He left, remember?”

  And Kelly got a cold feeling in his stomach.

  They all used the tablet.

  Matty too. They’d known each other’s passwords since middle school.

  “You deleted the emails, didn’t you?” Kelly asked flatly, anger pulling him to his feet when he’d mostly been one with the couch in the past days.

  “What’s it to you, fa—”

  Kelly didn’t wait around to hear the rest. He could walk. He could make it down the stairs. He wasn’t an invalid, trapped in this apartment with his sisters and his mother and his horrible fucking brother.

  He touched his pocket, where he’d put Seth’s key on a plain chrome key ring, and started for the door.

  “Kelly!”

  His mother launched herself from her small desk in the corner by the kitchen and went trailing after him. “Where are you going?”

  “Seth’s dad is home in an hour,” Kelly told her. “I’ll be downstairs when he gets home.”

  “But, Kelly—”

  Kelly shook his head—slowly, because fucking ouch, everything hurt!—but with meaning. “I can’t, Mom. Not with him. Not with that word. Not with him deleting my fucking emails!” Kelly yelled, making sure Matty knew he’d told Mom. “You want me to stay in here and be happy? You make sure your other son can’t be an asshole. In the meantime, I’m going to Seth’s.”

  He got winded going down the stairs, but still, he made it in the front door.

  Ah!

  Air-conditioning!

  Seth used to tell him that his dad put it on a timer, so if people were gone for the day, it got cooler an hour before they got home.

  Not something his dad would think of, but then, his mom stayed home and did books for a local restaurant now so she could pick everybody up and drop everybody off and make sure everybody was okay.

  But this was cool—coolness not breathed in by six other human beings all day.

  With a grateful little whimper, Kelly wandered inside, making himself comfortable in front of the television, like he always did. There was a pile of mail on the end table, and he moved it slightly so he could lean some of his weight on the arm of the couch.

  And his own name caught his attention, written in Seth’s spidery, erratic handwriting.

  Kelly Cruz, C/O Craig Arnold.

  It was a mailer—a big envelope with squishy bubbles inside to keep things safe. Kelly picked it up and squeezed it, and could feel the tiny stuffed animal inside and the little metallic weight.

  A key chain.

  He’d sent Kelly a key chain.

  Kelly didn’t open it. He’d ask Seth’s dad’s permission later.

  He just held it, close to his chest, and turned on the stupid TV.

  That’s where he was forty-five minutes later when Seth’s dad walked in.

  Craig wasn’t even surprised. First thing out of his mouth was “Can I get you a soda?”

  “Yeah,” Kelly said, smiling. “Something light. The caffeine is supposed to irritate my throat.”

  “Ah. Got it.”

  He had his uniform shirt for the warehouse over his arm, and he blew by the couch on his way to go drop it in his bedroom. Then he went to the kitchen and came back with some Sprite and some of that presliced fruit you got at the grocery store, all cold and ready-made.

  Kelly ate and drank happily and then remembered his manners.

  “This is really human of you,” he said at the commercial break. “Thank you.”

  Seth’s dad shrugged. “Thank you for being here. I….” He let out a sigh. “I knew it would be lonely once he left, but I didn’t count on… on….”

  “On your heart being so sad,” Kelly said, because that’s how he felt.

  “Yeah. That. Did you find your packages?”

  Packages? “Only one.” Kelly sat up, but Craig was already heading for the main table.

  “No, no—here. He’s been sending you a letter or something for the last three days. I was going to take them up tomorrow.”

  “My stupid brother,” Kelly grunted, taking the other two big mailers from him. “He deleted my emails. I got no idea how long Seth’s been trying to get hold of me.”

  “Fuck.”

  Kelly blinked, because Seth’s dad didn’t usually let out expletives.

  “Sir?”

  “I was trying to give your family some space. Goddammit. I didn’t count on Matty being—”

  “Such a flaming asshole?” Kelly felt this wound, even as he inflicted it. “I guess that’s just who he is now, sir. I’ll have to get used to it.”

  “Well, that’s a shame. You three used to be so tight.”

  “Yeah, well, then Seth and I wanted to get tighter, and Matty wanted to get religious. It’s okay. I picked Seth over Matty, and Matty picked Isela over human fucking decency. I guess it evens out.”

  Craig snorted. “Alrighty, then. I’ll just not count on you being able to get Seth’s emails. Or….” He stopped and chewed his lower lip. “You know? I’ve got an idea. Can you come by tomorrow? Same time?”

  “No, sir, I’m afraid my social calendar is full this summer. Everybody wants to hang out with the kid who’s injured and has an incurable disease.”

  This time Craig slapped his hand over his mouth. “You do not have an incurable disease!” he protested.

  “No, but I might as well have! I’m the kid who was raped. It’s like everybody knows what’s been in my butt and nobody wants to call and talk to my face.”

  Seth’s dad abruptly sobered. “I’m here,” he said. “I’ll talk to your face. I’m sure Seth will, once we find a way for you guys to Skype. You don’t have the plague. You’re not dying. But you were hurt. You just need to tell us how you want to be treated so we know, that’s all.”

  Kelly gave him a suddenly tearful smile and nodded. “I like being treated like this,” he said after a moment. “Like I got a friend to watch TV with. And I can say something that’s not going to piss you off or hurt your feelings or scare my little sisters. Is that okay?”

  “Yeah.” Seth’s dad sank into the couch and held out his arm. “Are you feeling seven today? Agnes let me hold her in my lap.”

  “I’m feeling twelve,” Kelly said after a moment’s thought. “I wouldn’t mind an arm over my shoulder.”

  Maybe he should have been afraid. But it hadn’t been an adult who’d attacked him. A kid had. A mob of them. Kelly had been around kind adult men all his life. It would be like being afraid of a housecat because he’d been captured by jackals.

  He sidled up to Seth’s dad and leaned, and that arm came around his shoulders, like one of those safety bars in a roller coaster ride.

  Not to trap him.

  Just to keep him safe.

  He leaned against Seth’s dad’s chest and handed him the remote control.

  “Don’t you want to open your presents?” Craig asked softly.

  “Later.” Kelly took his first deep breath in six days. “Right now, I know he loves me. It’s enough.”

  But he kept the mailers on his other side so he could open them as soon as he woke up. He could feel the damned nap coming on, and he was so grateful for Seth’s dad right then, he didn’t want to miss it.

  Heya, Seth!

  Your dad bought me a tablet and let me hook it up to his printer. I’m sending you this right now because I’m pretty sure you’ll get it, and there’s nothing Matty can do about it, so there. Your dad also got me a new phone, because my other one was smashed. I’ll put the number at the end of this email so we can text and stuff.