Lucifer glanced back at the demon who had carried me to him. “Thank you, Asmodeus. For your loyalty, I give you governorship of Hell.” He turned back to the others. “Demons, look upon your new lord. He will watch over you for me, and report to me. Give him the same respect you grant me.”

  Great, Kyanite huffed. We just helped Satan choose a new Lord of Hell.

  Chapter Forty

  “You saved me from killing my children,” Lucifer whispered in my ear as he flew me back to Heaven.

  Lucifer was taking a tip from his new Hell Lord and carrying me across his forearms instead of an embrace. I stared forward and didn't say anything. I still wasn't sure if I'd done the right thing. Either way, the Demons had unsettled me.

  “Elaria, I owe you a great debt,” Lucifer said more firmly. “I... I don't think anyone—anyone I haven't created, that is—has ever fought for me before.”

  “I helped you take Heaven,” I reminded him.

  “We both know that you didn't do it willingly,” he said soberly. “And now, I am even more ashamed of my actions. Will you forgive me for using you like that?”

  “We already talked about this.”

  “I didn't feel the depth of regret that I do now,” he insisted. “Please forgive me, Elaria.”

  “You're forgiven,” I said softly. “I'm sorry the Demons didn't want you to change.”

  “I should have known better,” he growled. “I made them. I know their hearts; their savage hearts. What do I do now?”

  Lucifer sounded so lost that I couldn't resist stroking his shoulder sympathetically. He stared down at me with sorrowful eyes, and I suddenly wanted to help him. I desperately wanted him to become a better man.

  “Let them alone,” I said. “You can't punish Demons for being Demons. If they try to leave Hell, then worry about what to do with them. But for now, let them be.”

  Lucifer smiled gently, his eyes going infinite again. I quickly looked away, and his pleasant mood vanished. His arms tightened around me as he cursed in another language.

  “I cannot even admire you without threatening you,” Lucifer snarled. “How do I be the god I wish to be? Perhaps I've been doomed from the start.”

  “You've been so focused on everyone accepting you.” I carefully risked a glance back at him. When I saw his eyes were back to normal, I turned to fully face him. “How many times have you told me that you need to prove yourself? That you need to show us with your actions that you've changed, and you don't expect us to accept you immediately?”

  “Many times,” he whispered.

  “It isn't only about proving yourself to everyone else,” I went on. “It's also about proving you can change to yourself. You've had centuries to think about becoming your old self but no way to act upon those urges. Now, here you are; free to be exactly who you wish to be. And you think that you must already be that man because you spent so long contemplating the change. But thinking and doing need to be partners. You've made the decision, taken the first steps, and now you must show yourself that you can continue to walk the path you've chosen. Take it slow, just as you intended to do with me.”

  “Thank you, Elaria,” Lucifer said. “I think you've just saved me again.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  You've just saved me again.

  The words simmered in my brain; stewing until they were tender enough to sink my teeth into. Powerful words. Intimate words. They hinted at a connection; a vow. I just wasn't sure if I wanted that bond or knew what Lucifer had just promised, if he had truly offered me anything at all. He could very well be playing me.

  But you don't think so anymore, Kyanite said. You believe in him.

  He just stood there, Ky. Lucifer stood there while those demons threatened him. And his face was so...

  Sad.

  Yes; so sad. He didn't know I was flying in to rescue him. How could he have ever predicted that one of the other demons would offer me that? As far as Lucifer knew, he was on his own, and still...

  He hesitated, Kyanite finished for me again.

  He hesitated, I repeated. He didn't want to hurt them. And then he was so grateful. After that conversation I overheard, this kind of clinches the deal.

  Do not get attached to him, Elaria, Kyanite warned. No matter what his motives are, he wants you for himself. You cannot have him.

  I don't want him, Ky, I put my exasperation behind the words. I love my men. I miss them. I have more love than anyone deserves. I don't need anyone else.

  Yeah, that's what you said before you fell in love with Slate.

  The RS had something to do with that. She's satisfied now.

  And subdued, he said dryly. I wonder why Lucifer won't give her back to you.

  I'll ask him.

  “Here they are.” Lucifer returned to the bedroom portion of my suite holding a handful of listening devices; little black dots. He'd been sweeping my rooms while I spoke with Kyanite.

  I never would have noticed those dots. Tiny as a speck of dirt, and yet, it had only taken him five minutes to collect them all. He'd obviously known exactly where every dot was. I scowled at the devices and then at him. He must have put them there himself.

  “I promise these are all of them,” Lucifer said as he slipped them into his pocket.

  “I'd like you to release the spell inside me,” I said firmly. “The Rooster Spell.”

  “But that spell needs your lovers to fuel it,” he reasoned. “Can it last two months without them?”

  Shit; he's right.

  I don't think it works with proximity, Kyanite argued. It's your bond to your men that allows her to feed. If one of them stopped loving you, then we'd have a problem. Not that I miss her or anything.

  “Kyanite assures me that proximity has nothing to do with our bond,” I told Lucifer. “Our love sustains her across any distance.”

  “Oh.” Lucifer frowned as he considered it. “Well, I can hardly refuse your request after what you did for me today.”

  It's about fucking time! RS shouted in my head.

  I winced.

  “She is expressing her displeasure?” Lucifer asked with a grin.

  You're damn fucking right; I'm expressing displeasure.

  Enough. I get it. He didn't kill you, just silenced you, I said calmly.

  That was more than enough, she huffed.

  “How did you know the RS is a she?” I asked Lucifer.

  “I told you, Elaria; I connected with you,” Lucifer said patiently. “I know you intimately. You know me as well, but you don't think you can trust what you've seen.”

  “I don't think I saw as much as you did,” I mused.

  “No?” Lucifer blinked as he processed that possibility. “Perhaps because god souls are so much larger than others.”

  “Are they?”

  “Why do you think you could cut pieces of Darcraxis and yourself away and still survive?” He countered. “A god soul is an enormous amount of energy; the energy of creation and destruction. The power to birth other souls.”

  That's the truth, Kyanite confirmed. A soul is energy—and magic in some cases—and god souls have an excess of both.

  “Is that why you don't mind sharing yours?” I asked Lucifer.

  “With the right person,” he amended. “But yes. My offer still stands, Elaria; to teach you how to control magic and to share mine with you.”

  You don't need that, RS said. I give you enough power, don't I?

  Yes, but if I could control my goddess magic, no one would be able to hurt me or my loved ones ever again.

  My love, this is a dangerous road, Kyanite warned me.

  You have to walk a deadly path to gain power, I said. But with the two of you supporting me, I believe we could.

  What about the fact that once he gives you his magic, he can take yours? Kyanite asked.

  I don't have to take his magic; I have my orb.

  But Lucifer doesn't know that, RS pointed out. Or if he does, he's not counting on you waiting to get to your orb before you become a goddess. He wants to teach you so that you'll accept his magic.

  I don't think so, I protested. I think his intentions are good.

  Then tell him about the orb, Kyanite pushed.

  “When we connected, did you see what happened to my goddess magic?” I asked Lucifer.

  “What happened to it?” He asked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

  Maybe he didn't see as much of you as he thinks he did, Kyanite mused. Don't tell him where the orbs are.

  “You didn't see the orbs?”

  “It's not like learning someone's deepest secrets,” Lucifer said gently. “I didn't invade you and strip you bare. I felt you. I saw your magic for what it is but as far as things you know, I only received what you offered me in those brief moments we had together. That being said, I do know about the orbs that hold Darcraxis' and your magic. Raphael told me of them.”

  “So, you know that I won't need your magic if you teach me how to control mine.”

  “I thought you hid the orbs?” He countered. “Raphael implied they were lost to you.”

  “Not lost.” I shook my head. “Secured.”

  “That's wonderful!” Lucifer exclaimed. “With both of us at our full strengths, we shall be better gods for our people.”

  “You don't mind that I won't be sharing your power?”

  “Why would I mind?” He laughed. “I'd prefer not to give up power, Elaria.”

  “You just seemed intent on sharing yours.”

  “I could still share it with you until our time together is up, and then you could return it to me,” he suggested.

  Yeah, along with your magic, RS snarled. See? I told you! He doesn't care about you, Elaria. He wants your power and that includes me. He's going to consume us both.

  “I'd rather wait for my own magic,” I said casually. “But thank you; that's very generous.”

  “Of course,” he said immediately. “It's just easier to teach you to control god magic if you're actually using it.”

  “You shared it with me before without giving it to me,” I reminded him. “Can't you share it with me for our lessons?”

  “You're right.” Lucifer beamed. “Of course, I can. It's not exactly sharing; I push my magic into you to fuel yours. But I could stoke the small spark of fire left inside you. That would actually work better since you'll be able to retrieve your magic eventually. We want you to know how to control what will be inside you. If the plan were to give you some of my magic, you would have had to practice with it, but if you won't be taking it in the end, that won't matter.”

  You were saying? I asked the RS.

  I still don't like him.

  Stop pouting. You know it's only because he put you on ice for a few days, I chided. Darcraxis tried to destroy you, and yet you love him.

  Darcraxis is different, she said petulantly.

  Yes; he is, I agreed. But if Lucifer can teach me to control my magic, I can teach Darc too. We'd be able to merge our souls again.

  Like you did with Lucifer? RS shot back.

  That wasn't the same kind of merging.

  If you say so.

  I didn't experience any pleasure from it, I insisted. It wasn't the same.

  You touched intimately, she insisted. Do you think Darc will consider that cheating or rape?

  It is neither, I snapped. It's not the same thing. There is no love between us. The merging I did with Darcraxis was an expression of our love; in order to perform it, you have to feel it.

  Whatever.

  “When would you like to start training?” Lucifer asked, distracting me from the voices in my head.

  “There's no time like the present.”

  “Indeed.” Lucifer smiled wickedly.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Lucifer took me back to the rooftop garden. We sat on a bench in front of the fountain. Everything so serene. A golden, halcyon afternoon burning itself into twilight.

  “To control yourself, you must know yourself,” Lucifer spoke into that peace and his voice seemed to belong there; a rich tenor to complement the fountain's soprano. “In the case of controlling magic, you must know your magic. All of it. What it's strengths and weaknesses are. I assume you're most familiar with your spellsinger magic.”

  “Technically, I've had more time with the Fire and Light than with Spellsinging,” I mused. “But this part of me—the part I want to remain in control—knows the Spellsinging best.”

  “Very well, let's start with Fire then; it seems to be the one that gives you the most problems,” he said with an uneasy smile.

  “Is this going to be hard for you?” I asked in concern. “Touching your magic to Fire?”

  “Fire, as you can imagine, makes me nervous,” he admitted. “But it will be fine; we've worked well together three times already. I think that proves we can meld without issue.”

  “All right, but let's take it slow.”

  “What do you know about your fire magic?” Lucifer asked. “And not just what it can do, but how it makes you feel; how it alters this you.”

  “I've always called the goddess energy; Faenestra,” I said. “But Slate pointed out to me recently that I am Faenestra; there is no changing that, no matter how much of myself I cut away.”

  “I agree with him,” Lucifer said. “It is the magic that changes you. That alternate consciousness of yours—the part you call Faenestra—was affected the most by it because it held the most.”

  “I understand,” I murmured. That would explain why touching the barest spark of Fire threatened to change me back into Faenestra.

  “So, what are its effects?”

  “Oh.” I blinked as I thought about it. “It... it stirs my anger.”

  “And?”

  “Actually, it enhances several emotions; anger, passion, love, ambition...”

  “The fiery emotions,” he mused. “And what about Light?”

  “I think it's a part of Fire.”

  “I disagree.” He shook his head. “I know Light is not Fire because I hold Light.” His face went slack with revelation. “That is why we blend so harmoniously! Your Fire recognizes my Light!”

  I gaped at him. It felt right. “I think you're right.”

  Lucifer stared at me with a soft smile that made my chest shiver. I knew that look; I'd seen it often enough on my men to recognize it immediately. It was the look of fate. Destiny. Lucifer believed we were meant to be.

  “We meld well, but we aren't well-matched,” I said gently.

  “How do you mean?” His smile shifted downward.

  “I need my opposite to complete me,” I pointed out. “I already have Light.”

  “And you think Darkness is better for you,” he finished.

  I nodded.

  “There is much to be said for opposites,” he noted. “But it's similarities that hold people together.”

  “You said you withdrew your suit,” I reminded him.

  “Things seem to change daily with you, Elaria.” Lucifer sighed deeply. “I swear I will not try to seduce you, but I cannot stop my heart from feeling. To do that would be a type of death.”

  “Fair enough,” I murmured. “Just know that my heart is already taken. Perhaps you should guard yours.”

  “Enough of this.” He waved it away with a smile. “We are here to help you control your magic. Now, we were talking about the way Fire inflames your hotter emotions. I believe Light can help you with that. In fact, helping you control your fire may be one of its main purposes.”

  “How can it help?” I leaned toward him eagerly.

  “You've felt my energy.” Lucifer waved his hands up his chest. “Light can be cooling, freezing even, or it can be hot. But it has neither chill nor heat itself; it can be the product of those things, but it has no temperature of its own. It's simply visual. But light magic turns visual into physical.”

  “How does the magic know what to do with light?”