“Me too,” I said as I stared back at the view of Heaven. “Perhaps I can have faith in myself too.”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Lucifer insisted on escorting me to dinner.

  “You never join us,” he gently chided me. “I would dine with you privately, but I'd like you to feel comfortable enough to come down for the evening meal.”

  “Honestly, I don't want to sit there with Raphael and his Virtues,” I grumbled. “I'm still a little bitter over the way they betrayed me.”

  “I understand,” he murmured. “Since that betrayal benefited me, I don't share your ire, but I do understand. You and Raphael; you were lovers, correct?”

  The thick carpet runner beneath our feet muffled our footsteps, but I still felt the weight of Lucifer's walk. He had a presence that expanded further than his wingspan, and substance that seemed to go with it. I don't know how else to explain; the man had magnetism. Angels lowered their eyes and bowed to him as we passed them in the corridor; they obviously felt it too.

  “We were very close once.”

  “A shame to lose that,” he noted.

  “Indeed,” I said crisply. “To trust someone enough to share your body with them and have them betray that intimacy more than once is tragic.”

  “He's betrayed you before?” Lucifer asked in surprise.

  “It's why I ended things with him,” I explained. “When we first met, Raphael told me he was a loup. I had no idea he was an archangel dealing with angel politics he abhorred. The lies and the Seraphim eventually drove him to drink. He became...” I blinked and looked at Lucifer with dawning comprehension. “A devil. He dove into that darkness you talk about.”

  “It seems as if I've been hurting you for a very long time, Elaria.” Remorse drenched his words and hung heavy on his face. “I'm so sorry.”

  “No; I didn't mean that to sound accusatory,” I quickly amended. “Only that it explains a lot. Raphael became another person, and I'd always blamed it on the alcohol, but now, I'm not so sure.”

  “Denying the darkness takes a lot,” he murmured. “But doing so while you fight other battles can be...”

  “Impossible?”

  “Nearly,” he agreed. “So, Raphael changed and you left him?”

  “Yes,” I confirmed. “I reconnected with him recently and finally learned the truth.”

  “But all that did was straighten the picture of his betrayal,” Lucifer concluded. “It wasn't so off-kilter anymore, but it was the same painting.”

  “Exactly.” I sighed deeply. “I was able to forgive him once I knew what had been motivating him, but that wound is still in my heart. Nothing changes the fact that he lied to me.”

  Lucifer nodded soberly and looked away from me. Before I could use the segue to steer him into confessing his lies, we arrived at the dining hall.

  Lucifer held open the dining hall door for me. Tall and wide, doubtlessly made to accommodate angel wings and possibly god charisma, the door would have taken far more effort for me to open than him. Spellsinging wasn't usually a physical workout; it didn't give me big muscles. As soon as we stepped into the enormous hall where the resident angels took their meals, every eye slid in our direction; especially those belonging to the goddess waiting impatiently at the long, rectangular table at the end of the room.

  Aza didn't fidget with her hands but her glare went from me to Lucifer, clearly conveying her annoyance, and her ten fox tails swished behind her as if she were about to pounce.

  “Do you like her?” I asked casually.

  “Not in the least,” he said immediately. “She's abrasive, demanding, arrogant, and an elitist. But she's a goddess, and we could do great things together if I could find a way to tolerate her.”

  “Good luck with that,” I muttered.

  “She's very beautiful,” he pointed out and smirked. “And beautiful women are another weakness of mine.”

  I huffed through my nose; a little amused sound.

  Angels sat beside each other on benches drawn up to the dining tables set end-to-end on either side of the aisle Lucifer and I strode up. They stared at me more than Lucifer; boldly and warily. No one looked away when I met their stare, which I found a tad unsettling. I shifted my focus to the room itself, but I could still feel the intensity of angel interest. I nearly dropped my gaze to the thick rug beneath my feet—a crimson line leading to the head table—but I refused to be intimidated. I walked a red carpet like a celebrity with their god beside me; the Host could suck it. I lifted my chin and surveyed my surroundings as if I were waiting to be impressed.

  Instead of columns, gigantic statues of angels stood guard along the walls every hundred feet or so. Their heads bowed but eyes lifted, hands resting on the hilts of swords set with their points on the ground before them, and wings sweeping up to curve above their heads and stretch like support beams across the vaulted ceiling. I eyed them as Lucifer and I passed beneath their watchful stares. Between the angel statuary, the walls presented paintings of angelic glory; the Host both helping and hurting other races. The far end of the room had a single painting on its wall; God on his throne. Lucifer glowed with his Light; so brilliant that his body was a mere shadow. At his feet, thousands of angels stood waiting for his blessing... or his command. Aza sat directly before the image of the Host and although the god on the throne behind her sat in luminosity too bright to reveal his features, he still seemed to be staring directly at her.

  I slid my gaze away from Aza and down the table to where Raphael sat with his Virtues. “Angels and a goddess,” I noted. “It looks as if the unvirtuous Virtues aren't going to be my only annoying dinner companions tonight.”

  Lucifer chuckled. “You should try to practice patience.”

  “You're the god, not me,” I teased him.

  “Not true,” he countered with a wry grin. “As I said before; you are still a goddess, just with a little less magic.”

  “Then my patience must have gone into the orb with my magic.”

  Lucifer laughed harder. He was still laughing when we stepped up to the high table, and his amusement only worsened Aza's temperament.

  “We've been waiting here over fifteen minutes for you,” Aza snarled as Lucifer helped me into my seat. “Where have you been?”

  Oh, maybe that was why I'd been getting such interested looks from the Angels. They were wondering what their god had been doing with the Spellsinger that made him late to dinner.

  Lucifer took his time settling me—in between his seat and Raphael's—before he sat down and looked at Aza. She sat to his right with a few of the Virtues, leaving me and the rest of them on Lucifer's left.

  “I've been with Elaria, obviously,” Lucifer said calmly.

  “If I accept you as my consort, I will not permit any”—she sneered at me—“indiscretions. You'll have to send your whores away.”

  Lucifer and Raphael both tensed, but I only laughed. Everyone at our table—and those at the tables nearby—stared at me in surprise. Everyone except for Aza; she glared harder.

  “You find that amusing?” She asked me scathingly. “Perhaps you think your hold on Lucifer is strong enough to compel him to keep you. I can assure you, mortal, it won't be. When faced with a choice of power or love, a god always chooses power.”

  Her words stabbed at me like needles but not in the way she'd intended. Had I been like her?

  No, my love, Kyanite said gently. You chose love in the end, remember?

  Yes; you're right. Thanks, Ky.

  You're welcome. Now, put that bitch in her place.

  “I didn't,” I said in a loud, clear voice.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” She growled.

  Lucifer looked over at me—assistance offered in his eyes—but I shook my head. I could handle one mouthy goddess on my own. He grinned and nodded.

  “You've obviously forgotten who I am,” I said to her. “First of all, I may not be as eternal as you, but I'm not mortal either. Nor am I powerless. Far from it. In fact, I'm the reason you're free; you and Lucifer. When I released my god-husband, the magic woke you. I was a goddess too—one far stronger than you—but I gave up my power to protect the men I love.”

  “Did you say; men?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Plural?”

  “Yes.” I laughed again. “I have five consorts, including Darcraxis, which is why I found it hilarious that you called a whore to a man I'm not sleeping with. Not that it's any of your business.”

  “You're not intimate with Lucifer?” She frowned. “Then why does he spend so much time with you? Give you such attention?”

  “I told you, Aza,” Lucifer said patiently, “Elaria is here so I may show her that I can live peacefully with the other realms. She's an ambassador of sorts.”

  “Ridiculous,” Aza scoffed. “Why would you bother with that? You're a god; what do you care what her people think of you?”

  “Her people are Shining Ones, Witches, and the entire Greek Pantheon,” Lucifer said and gave her a cunning look. “I care.”

  Aza snorted derisively.

  “And so do you, Aza,” I said smugly. “You woke up and fled. You knew if we found you, you'd be killed or imprisoned again. You were strong enough to free yourself, but only because your people didn't have as much magic as the other races and your prison wasn't nearly as secure as those of the other gods. Which tells me that you don't have a lot of magic; certainly not enough to protect yourself. That's why you're here seeking an alliance. You want Lucifer to protect you. And yet you sit there and scorn him—a god utterly your superior in power—for being smart enough to form alliances of his own. You're either very stupid or very vindictive. Perhaps a little of both.”

  Aza screeched and flung out a hand toward me. I saw the magic collect in her fingers and surge outward in a glowing arc, and I knew I wouldn't be able to dodge it in time. I had a second to wonder if I were about to die before Lucifer's wing extended and caught the magic missile within its feathers. A blast of light announced the hit but his wings barely moved and when they settled behind him again, they showed no evidence of injury. She hadn't even rustled his feathers. Damn.

  Aza gaped at Lucifer.

  “Attempt to offer injury to my guest again, and I will kill you,” he said simply. “Slowly.”

  Aza paled, gave me one final furious look, and then nodded curtly to Lucifer.

  “You're right; I should be more patient,” I murmured to Lucifer. “It seems that good things come to those who wait.”

  Lucifer's lips twitched, but he didn't say anything more. He may have been willing to kill Aza to protect me, but he didn't really want her dead or want her to leave. Just as Aza said; Lucifer craved her power. But, just as I had done, he'd nearly thrown it away to protect someone he cared about.

  It was something else to consider.

  I ate my meal while sliding pensive glances at Lucifer as I pretended to ignore Raphael. Lucifer engaged both Aza and me in frivolous conversation. I responded immediately, but Aza took awhile to get over her ire. Despite her fury, Lucifer's charm proved irresistible and by the end of the meal, Aza literally had her claws in him again; digging the tips of her talons into the sleeve of Lucifer's tunic as her tails brushed against his wings. I shook my head at her antics, and Lucifer spared me a naughty wink.

  Despite what he'd once said, he really was a silver-tongued Devil. And he didn't stop with Aza.

  “Will you do us the honor of singing for us, Elaria?” Lucifer asked softly.

  I looked from him to the angels around us and shook my head.

  “Why not?” He sounded achingly disappointed.

  “I have a difficult time singing without spellsinging,” I admitted. “I could cast something benign but, honestly, I don't want to waste my magic on your angels. As of this moment, I don't fucking like them.”

  Lucifer burst out laughing as Aza gaped at me.

  “Fair enough,” Lucifer said. “What about me? Do you dislike me as well?”

  Oh, he's slick, RS muttered. If she says yes, it'll hurt her standing with him, and if she says no, he'll take it as an invitation to seduce her.

  “I've yet to decide about you,” I said diplomatically, making Lucifer laugh yet again.

  “Dear me,” he exclaimed, “I do adore your brutal honesty. But you're not being very wise, Elaria.”

  I tensed. Was he insinuating that I should be buttering him up if I wanted to survive? Was he about to threaten me as he had Aza?

  “Why is that?” I asked warily.

  “I'm offering you the opportunity to use your magic on me,” he pointed out. “I practically demanded that you spellsing just to me. And yet you refuse.”

  “I don't want to use my magic on you,” I said simply.

  “Why ever not?” Laughter still lingered at the corners of his lips.

  “Because I'm here to see the real you, Lucifer,” I explained. “Not the god I want you to be.”

  Lucifer went still, his amusement shifting into seriousness. “Then show me what you've seen so far,” he whispered. “Use your magic to tell me who you think I am. I would dearly like to know.”

  I thought about it. Lucifer was right; he was offering me the chance to enchant him. But I had been honest when I said I wanted to see the real him. I didn't want to alter him into who I wanted him to be. Against a god, that kind of will-bending spell would never last. I'd be fooled by my own magic and then Lucifer would go right back to being his true self. But that didn't mean there weren't other possibilities.

  You may not be able to change him with a song, but you could show him the possibilities, RS said.

  Forget that, Kyanite interrupted. Show him his weaknesses; remind him that he isn't the absolute power. Use his desire for magic and for you against him.

  How? I asked.

  The RS laughed. I hate to admit this, but Kyanite is right. It's psychological warfare. Tear down your victim while showing them how powerful you are and then dangle yourself before them like bait.

  I don't want him to bite me, I growled.

  If he does, you'll hook him, Kyanite argued. He's already infatuated with you but we don't know if he's after you or your magic. Sing to him about his weakness but also make him believe that he could have you if he tries hard enough. If he truly desires you, he will cast Aza aside. But if he's merely after your power, he will try to take you both; you as his “friend” and her as his consort.

  You think I should test him, I concluded. But he's already admitted that he'd rather have me as a friend.

  Because he thinks he can't have you as a lover, RS said smugly. Give him a little fantasy and let's see which way he goes.

  This is dangerous, I said. And for what? To see if he desires me? I know he does; he's admitted that too.

  No; this isn't about desire. We want to see if that little glimpse you had is true, Kyanite countered. To see if Lucifer will—like you—choose love over power. A man motivated by love has compassion and has the potential to be honorable. A man motivated by power cares only for himself and cannot be trusted, only corrupted.

  “Very well,” I finally said aloud to Lucifer. “I have a song for you.”

  “You do?” He asked in delight.

  I stood up. I was about to move into the space before the head table but then I saw how Lucifer shifted in his seat to follow me, his wings blocking Aza. It made for a much better position. Intimate. Close. Mere feet away, with no one behind me to distract him, Lucifer wouldn't be able to focus on anything but me, and I would be able to connect with him easier.

  “Remember that you asked for this,” I deliberately used the Devil's words; the ones he'd said to me before he'd told me all the naughty things he was going to do to me.

  Lucifer's eyes snapped wider briefly; his mouth falling open on a sharp gasp and his wings rustling. I backed up a few steps, and he shifted further towards me, scooting his chair into an angle that completely blocked Aza. She responded to this by facing forward and ignoring us both, but Raphael and his Virtues all turned to watch my performance.

  The lingering chords of gently struck piano keys thrummed through the room; a brief introduction to Von Grey's “Forever Bound.” Wings shivered with the magic that rode those first few notes but it only fluttered through the room before settling on Lucifer. His eyes flashed as I started to softly sing about a lover with the allure of a god. Of sacred kisses and a holy union.

  I had him hooked immediately.

  Then I wove my spell into sadness. I show him who I saw. The lonely god; in pain, hurt simply by trying to live. Lucifer's entire body trembled with the truth in my words, the loving lash of my lyrics. It was nearly our story; him, the fallen god, rolling in his chains, battling himself while crying out to be saved, and I, the woman who saved him.