“That’s true, although Hera would never had made a scene. Her actions against Sylvie were subtle,” Deacon said. “Nothing overt. She wouldn’t risk Sylvie gaining public sympathy.”

  “No one wants to become a target by being friends with someone Hera dislikes,” Jules said.

  “And everyone courts her favor because she’s president of the HOA,” Deacon added. “It took Sylvie ages to date after Zeus because she was considered untouchable—and not in a good way.”

  Jules snorted. “I’m sure everyone has a story of Hera’s public humiliation of Sylvie. Or Donna. Or Kaley.”

  Deacon winced at the mention of Kaley. “By the moon, I haven’t heard that name in decades.”

  “Who’s Kaley?” I asked.

  “Someone no longer with us,” Jules said.

  “Oblivion?” I asked.

  The vampire nodded. “She was another consort. Nobody knows what happened. She was found in the lake and her body disintegrated before anyone could retrieve her.”

  “Rumor has it that she did it to herself because she couldn’t take Hera’s abuse anymore,” Deacon added.

  “She was a silly hamadryad with the most annoying giggle you’ve ever heard in your life.”

  “Still, no reason for Hera to rake her over the coals at every opportunity,” Deacon said.

  “Do you believe that she offed herself?” I asked.

  They exchanged hesitant looks. “What’s the alternative?” Deacon asked.

  “That Hera drowned her,” I said. And got away with it—and then found an equally sneaky way to exact revenge on her ex.

  Jules idly traced the deep grain of the wooden table. “I’m not intimidated by many supers here, but I’d think twice before going after Hera. She’s a goddess, not to mention the HOA president.”

  “She exudes power,” Deacon added.

  “Exactly the type to abuse it too,” I said. “When someone’s that powerful, what’s the worst that can happen if she gets caught?”

  “Oblivion,” Jules said.

  I glanced at the vampire. “By whose hand? It sounds like the Wild West here. Everyone does what they want without consequences.”

  “Villagers behave for the most part,” Jules said. “Everyone feels like they’re one bad act away from descension.”

  That fit with Hera’s explanation as to why there was no law enforcement. It still didn’t mean she wasn’t taking advantage of it now.

  “I think if Hera killed Zeus that she wouldn’t hesitate to shout it from the rooftop,” Jules said. “She’d want everyone to know that she was powerful enough to take down Zeus. It would only reinforce her leadership position.”

  Jules made a good point. Even so, I couldn’t seem to shake the idea that the goddess was somehow responsible. She fit the bill in almost every way, except for the fact that she couldn’t be in two places at once.

  “Listen to Jules,” Deacon said. “She and I don’t always agree, but she’s steering you right in this case.”

  Although I already had the sense that it would be best to stay on Hera’s good side, Deacon’s story definitely confirmed it.

  I held up my hands. “Trust me. I’m not looking for a fight with the goddess of resting bitch face.”

  Deacon gave me a long look. “What are you looking for? Any interest in meeting up for a drink?”

  Was he joking? “Aren’t you still in love with Sylvie?”

  Deacon’s lips parted. “Sure, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun while I wait for her to come to her senses.”

  Before I could reply, Jules gave his chair a swift kick under the table and he tipped backward, falling flat on the floor. The vampire turned to me with a grim smile. “I think we’re done here, human.”

  Chapter Twelve

  I sat by the receptionist desk in the HOA office with a throbbing head and a mouth full of cotton, waiting for orientation to begin. On the one hand, I hated formalities and I wasn’t in any condition to focus after a night of drinking with Jules. The vampire had to be careful not to stake herself with her two hollow legs. On the other hand, I was in desperate need of a primer on this place, so I’d try my best to soak up the info.

  “Eloise Worthington,” a voice called. There was no one at the desk, so I glanced around the lobby in search of the source of the sound.

  “Yes?” I finally called, unable to locate it.

  “Room 1,” the voice said.

  I rose to my feet and peered through heavy lids to scan the doorways for number one. My head pounded with each step I took and I fought another wave of nausea. I needed to hit up that potions place that Donna mentioned. Drinks in the afterlife were more potent than beer brewed in Kirk Remington’s bathtub in college and that guy was a legend.

  The interior of Room 1 was compact with a couple of benches that reminded me of church pews and four blank white walls. I took a seat in the middle of the back bench and waited. The only time you’d catch me in the front row was a concert. A loud, squeaking noise made me jump. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard but amplified. Not helpful to my headache.

  “Sorry about that,” the voice said.

  I surveyed the seemingly empty room. “Where are you?”

  “I’m supposed to stay hidden,” he said.

  “Are you the Wizard of Oz?”

  “Pay no attention to me. It’s the orientation video you should focus on.”

  “I would if it ever started,” I said.

  “Right. Technical difficulties, that’s all. Just a moment.”

  I placed my hands primly in my lap and waited. “Why are you supposed to stay hidden? Are you an ugly troll or something?”

  “No. My name’s Barney. I’m a mage.”

  “Nice to meet you, Barney. What’s a mage?”

  “I have magical abilities.”

  “After a good batch of mushrooms, so do I.”

  A young man materialized in front of me. He had a slender build and a mop of light brown hair that dipped over his eye. “Welcome to Divine Place.”

  “Thanks. Been here a few days now.”

  “Yes, I know we’re behind on your matriculation. Apologies for that.” He rubbed his hands together and golden sparks flew in all directions. “Let me get the introduction visuals ready for you.” More sparks but no visuals. His face turned bright red. “It’s been a rough morning.”

  “Been there.” I leaned against the bench, entertained by Barney’s sincere efforts. “Take your time.”

  He clapped his hands, creating more sparks. These were more of a burnt sienna color.

  “Where are you from, Barney?”

  “Ohio,” he said. “You?”

  “I moved around but lived most of my adult life in Chipping Cheddar, Maryland.”

  Barney shook his hands and gave them another clap. An image of The Great Divide appeared. “Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air. “I’ll be on hand for questions afterward. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.” He slipped onto the bench in front of me.

  I watched the image expand until it almost blocked the entire wall in front of me. A movie announcer voice welcomed me to Divine Place. I half expected to hear him say “in a world…”

  The ‘video’ showcased all the key areas in each zone of the village—the clubhouses, the pools, the performing arts center, the golf courses. I’d only scratched the surface of Divine Place.

  “This place is incredible,” I breathed. It almost made up for being dead.

  Barney popped out of his seat and faced me. “Isn’t it though?”

  “Hey Barney. I didn’t notice a potion place on there that a friend recommended. I was hoping to head there afterward.”

  “Um, well, your friend might’ve meant Willa’s Enchantments or True Brew or…”

  “True Brew. That’s the one.” I gestured to the space where the orientation information had been displayed. “I guess that’s in Zone 2.”

  He lit up. “It is. Next door to the barber shop.”

  “And you must live over that way too, if you’re a mage.”

  His head bobbed up and down. “I love it in Zone 2. And the commute’s not so bad once you get used to it. I enjoy the ferry and Charon is excellent company. He has a recipe for liver that will knock your socks off.”

  “I seriously doubt that.”

  “So, what are you thinking in terms of employment?” he asked. “All able-bodied villagers have a job, for the most part.”

  “Did Zeus have a job?” I asked.

  Barney laughed awkwardly. “If you want to call chasing women a job…” He ducked his head. “Shoot. I shouldn’t say that within earshot of the big boss.”

  “Hera?”

  “Have you met her?” he asked in a stage whisper.

  “Oh, we’re acquainted.”

  He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Two of the pools are hiring.”

  I cringed. “No thanks. I’m all set with the marshal gig for now.”

  Barney’s mouth formed an ‘o.’ “That’s right. I forgot about that. Well, when that’s all over, you might want to consider our job board. Lots of good options on there.”

  “What do I do for money in the meantime?” I asked.

  His finger shot up. “Right. That reminds me. Hera said I should give you this.” He reached into his pocket and produced a card. “It’s a prepaid DP card. She loaded money onto it for you. She said it’s compensation for your work as marshal.”

  “I thought my compensation was not being obliterated.”

  He offered a cheerful shrug. “I guess she had a change of heart.”

  I stared at the DP card, feeling uneasy. Was she trying to buy me off?

  Barney threaded his fingers in front of him. “Do you have any questions? All the important information should be in the kitchen drawer in your bungalow and I’m happy to help any way I can. Just say ‘Barney’ to your disc and it’ll call me directly.”

  “How about you help me solve Zeus’s murder?” I asked. “Or is there a help number for that?”

  He giggled. “Oh, I don’t mean to laugh that Zeus has been obliterated. It’s terrible.” He covered his mouth.

  “How well do you know Hera?” I asked.

  “I’ve worked here for about a decade,” he said.

  I regarded him. “You died pretty young, Barney. What happened?”

  The mage’s eyes were downcast. “That’s not important now.”

  “I guess you’ve heard Hera complain about Zeus fairly often,” I said.

  He grimaced. “More than I care to count. They had the craziest relationship. I never really thought the whole love-hate relationship thing was real until I met them.”

  “But they’ve been apart the whole time you’ve known them, right?”

  He kneeled one knee on the bench in front of me. “Oh, yeah, but they’d still get together every so often. And then they’d start fighting again.”

  “Between girlfriends he’d go back to Hera?”

  “Sometimes not even between,” Barney whispered. “Hera would have a meltdown if she knew that I knew.”

  What a hypocrite. Hera mistreated any woman who ever looked at Zeus sideways, but she was allowed to indulge herself when it suited her? Some goddess.

  Barney’s device pinged and he peered at the screen. The color drained from his face. “There’s been a breach.”

  “A breach?”

  Barney continued to study his screen. “Whatever this is, it’s alive. I’d better alert Hera.”

  A living creature had made its way to the afterlife? How was that possible? Then again, I was here as a human and that seemed impossible a few days ago. There was no time to ask Barney more questions because he was already deep in conversation with Hera. Emergency lights began to flash in the building and my brow bubbled with sweat. What if this had something to do with me? Maybe the devil had sent a team of hellhounds to collect me.

  “Code Blue,” Barney said into the speaker. “I repeat, Code Blue.”

  I couldn’t hear the response on the other end of the line.

  “We need to go,” Barney said, tucking away the device. His demeanor shifted from pleasant to serious.

  “You have codes for this sort of thing? Does that mean it’s happened before?”

  “No, never,” Barney said. “We have drills.”

  “Okay.” I followed him from the room and, by the time we reached the corridor, Hera had already assembled a team in the lobby. I felt like I was in the White House and the military was about to scramble jets in the air.

  Hera glared at me. “Why do I get the distinct impression that this has something to do with you?”

  “Trust me, I didn’t invite any friends,” I said.

  Hera spun on her heel and the minions trailed behind her. The supernaturals were all shapes and sizes—ogres with clubs, trolls with nunchucks, and a handful of others I didn’t recognize. Barney and I stayed at the back of the line. He seemed to sense my distress.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he said.

  “How do you know? Are you psychic?”

  “No, but I have a good feeling.” He clasped his hands together. “All my feelings are good, except the bad ones.”

  I frowned at him as we walked down the street and rounded the corner. The supernaturals marched past the bungalows and shops until we reached a poppy field near the lake. Hera turned to face us.

  “Where’s my witch?” Hera boomed. “We need a protective shield.”

  A man elbowed his way through the crowd. He had cropped brown hair and a patch of scruff on his chin. “No witch, but I’m here.”

  Hera offered an appreciative nod and ushered him forward. “Thank you for answering the call, Drake.”

  Drake bowed his head. “My magic is at your disposal.”

  I leaned closer to Barney. “What is he?”

  “A sorcerer,” Barney whispered.

  “How is that different from a wizard?” I asked.

  “One is a wizard and does magic, and one is a sorcerer that does magic.”

  I stared at Barney, wondering how Hera hadn’t obliterated him yet.

  Drake walked to the front and stopped at the edge of the field. He began to roll his hands in a ball and speak in a language I didn’t understand. His hands shot forward and a wall of pale orange light appeared.

  “Barney, with me,” Hera snapped.

  He hustled forward to stand beside her. I remained clustered among the supernaturals poised for action as Barney provided updates on the creature’s progress.

  “Ready,” Hera declared. “Subject will be within range in five, four…”

  My whole body tensed. What if this was a rampaging minotaur or a pack of wild werewolves? Part of me longed to flee to the bungalow, but the narcissistic part of me was curious to see whether this breach did, in fact, have anything to do with me.

  Everyone’s eyes remained fixed on the field of poppies.

  “One!” Hera’s voice rang out in the crowd.

  I sucked in a breath and waited.

  “I don’t see anything,” Barney said.

  Hera pointed straight ahead. “There! I see something.”

  I stood on my tiptoes for a better view. A flicker of movement caught my eye.

  “I hope it’s not a chimera,” a troll said. “I’m allergic.”

  “It’s too low to the ground,” a demon said.

  “It has a tail,” the tallest ogre said.

  “A forked tail?” Hera asked.

  “I don’t think so,” the ogre said.

  The sorcerer continued to stand with his hands splayed, the orange light still between us and the approaching monster.

  “Weapons at the ready,” Hera called.

  I held my breath as the flowers parted to reveal the interloper. I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Mischief?” I squeaked.

  Hera jerked toward me. “You know this creature?”

  “She’s my cat,” I said, my voice cracking.

  The Siamese cat meowed and I nearly dissolved into tears at the familiar sound. Sure, the noise was somewhere between a crying baby and a keening banshee, but what did I care? I tried to make my way forward, but Hera blocked me with her arm.

  “Wait,” the goddess said. “It could be a trick.”

  “A trick?” I scrutinized the cat. “She looks real enough to me.”

  The sorcerer craned his neck to look at us. “Shall I keep up the shield?”

  “You don’t need to protect anyone from Mischief,” I said. “The worst thing she’ll do is bite your nose and steal your cocktail shrimp off the plate.”

  Hera seemed to calculate the odds. Finally she placed a hand on Drake’s shoulder. “Lower the shield.”

  The orange light dissolved and I made a beeline through the field, trampling the flowers as I went. Mischief meowed again and her trot turned into a run. Tears striped my cheeks and I slid onto the ground to meet her. She jumped onto my lap and purred as I embraced her warm, vibrating body. A team of wild ogres couldn’t keep me from hugging my cat right now.

  “How did you find me?” I whispered. I rubbed my cheek against her soft head, partly out of affection and partly to dry my tears without a tissue.

  Mischief licked my nose and I relished the rough texture of her tongue. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until now.

  “I’m dead. Did you know?”

  The Siamese cat cocked her head, listening.

  “At least I know you didn’t eat my face afterward. Up top, girlfriend.” Mischief held up her paw and tapped the palm of my hand.

  A shadow fell over us. “You died with your companion,” Hera said. “What a noble beast.”

  I tried to piece together the fragments of memory. “I don’t think Mischief died though. I seem to remember that she got away while I was defending us with a baseball bat.”

  Hera observed the cat. “I can confirm that this creature is alive. Her condition set off the alarm.”

  “She must’ve found a way to cross the Rainbow Bridge and tracked you here,” Barney said. “It’s rare, but it’s possible.”

  “Because she’s the smartest kitty in the world.” I picked her up, prompting her to hiss and swipe at my face. Same old Mischief.

  “It would take more than advanced intelligence,” Drake said, appearing beside Barney. “This cat must have a strong bond with you.”