“Because he was a sexist moron,” Cole said.

  “Where is he now?” I asked.

  “Oblivion,” Jules said. “It was a fight to the ultimate death.”

  I sucked in a shaky breath. “Okay then. Why would anyone agree to fight to the final death over a bar?”

  Jules consulted her long, black fingernails. “Boredom?”

  “But the idea is that you’ll eventually move on to a better place, right?”

  Cole and Jules exchanged knowing looks.

  “Have you been to orientation?” Jules asked.

  “No,” Cole answered for me. “She wasn’t exactly expected here.”

  “How about a margarita?” I asked. “Or is that too much to ask?”

  Jules set a glass on the counter. “Salt?”

  “Always,” I said.

  “Heard about Zeus,” Jules said, as she prepared my drink.

  Cole sat on the stool without comment.

  “We’re investigating his murder,” I said. “Hera appointed me marshal and Cole is my deputy.”

  Jules nearly dropped the tequila bottle. “I’m sorry. What?”

  “I guess you didn’t hear the whole story,” Cole said.

  Jules set the margarita on a coaster in front of me. “Guess not. Care to share?”

  “So you didn’t hear anything about a hot dog falling from the sky?” I asked.

  “A what?” Jules blinked in rapid motion. “I’m already confused.”

  “I died thanks to a snake bite and landed on Zeus, but Xena Warrior Healer says I’m not the reason he was obliterated. Hera says if I can ID the real culprit, then she won’t obliterate me and she’s making Cole help me because she hates him.”

  “And nobody knows how or why a human ended up in Divine Place?” Jules asked.

  “Nope.” I licked the salt and swallowed a mouthful of my favorite drink in the whole world. It was delicious.

  “And no one’s filed a petition with the HOA to cast you out?” Jules’s gaze flicked to me. “I guess they will once the novelty wears off.”

  “Like I said, she’s not a pet,” Cole said.

  “Says you,” Jules replied. “Others will see it differently.”

  “See her differently.” Cole tipped back the glass and emptied the contents. “Eloise is not a thing.”

  “Definitely not a thing,” I interjected. “And this is the best margarita I’ve ever tasted, dead or alive.”

  Jules slammed Cole’s glass on the counter in front of him. He glanced up in mild surprise. “What have I done now?”

  “Walked into my bar as casual as you please, that’s what.” She folded her arms and directed icy daggers in his direction. “When’s the last time you set foot in here?”

  He swirled the bourbon around the ice in an idle gesture. “Does it matter?”

  An undercurrent of a hiss slid from the vampire’s mouth. “Spill it, Cole. I know you’re not in the habit of giving tours to newbies. Why are you really here?”

  Cole nodded to me. I reached into my baggy pocket and placed the transparent bag on the table.

  “We need you to tell us what kind of poison is on the tip of that feather,” he said.

  Her lips curved and she slid the plume from its plastic prison. “Well, well. Been a long time since you asked me for a favor.”

  “It isn’t really a favor for me,” Cole said.

  Her gaze darted to me. “For the human then.”

  I waved. “Eloise, remember? Not just ‘the human.’” It was like the first rule of being kidnapped. Remind them that you’re a human being with a name and a family. And never let them move you to a second location. Okay, that was the second rule and not really applicable, but good to remember nonetheless.

  Jules lifted the feather to her mouth and I watched, enraptured, as her tongue extended toward the tip and slowly licked the side. I involuntarily shivered, prompting a smile from the sultry vampire.

  “It isn’t poison,” she said.

  I slapped my hands on the table. “Great. At least we can rule that out.”

  “Not so fast,” Jules said. “It may not be poison, but it’s definitely a potion with bad intentions. I can tell you the three ingredients.”

  Cole’s expression turned grim. “This is going to be unpleasant.”

  I swiveled toward him. “What?”

  “Questioning Hera.”

  “How can you be sure Hera is responsible for the feather?” I asked.

  “She’s the only one allowed to keep peacocks in Divine Place,” Cole said. “It’s in the HOA bylaws.”

  I let the salty margarita coat my throat. “Couldn’t someone have stolen a feather from one of her peacocks and applied the potion, knowing that it would implicate her?”

  Jules and Cole exchanged looks of surprise mixed with admiration. “What was your job before you died?” Jules asked.

  “Not a detective,” I said. “But I watched a lot of TV. And I mean a lot.” When I was a kid, my parents parked me in front of the TV whenever it was convenient for them. Anything to keep me out of their hair so they could get on with their adult lives.

  Cole retrieved the feather from Jules. “The only way to know for sure is to ask her.”

  Jules patted his cheek. “It was nice knowing you, old sport.”

  “No, it wasn’t,” Cole said, “but we can pretend.”

  “Yeah,” Jules said vaguely. “You’re good at that.”

  I tipped my glass upside-down over my mouth in an effort to get every drop of the margarita.

  “You know I can make you another one,” Jules said. “No need to make out with the glass, as enjoyable as it is to watch.”

  I cut a quick glance at Cole. “Would you mind?”

  He raised his glass. “I think you’ve earned it.”

  Another patron plopped down on the stool beside Cole. He wore a black leather jacket, which I thought was an odd choice given the heat and humidity. With his random tufts of brown fur, he reminded me of Teen Wolf from the cricket field.

  “One pint, please,” he said, with a gentle smack of the counter.

  “One sec, Leo.” Jules finished making my second margarita and swapped out my empty glass.

  “The bar has a weird smell tonight,” Leo said. “Did you switch deodorizers?”

  “It’s probably Eloise,” Cole said.

  I elbowed Cole. “Rude.”

  The werewolf assessed me, his deep-set brown eyes taking in my appearance. “How’d you die?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Is that the afterlife equivalent of ‘how you doin’?’ Because I’m not feeling it.”

  Cole slapped the werewolf’s back. “Leo has a habit of comparing death notes.”

  “Oh, I guess that could be a bonding moment,” I said, cheering slightly. “I was killed by a snake.” I showed him the marks still visible on my arm.

  Leo examined the wound. “Ouch. Did you fight?”

  “I think so. I remember swinging a baseball bat.” Not very well though. Then again, I’d never been good at sports. The baseball bat was only there because my brother had left it behind.

  Leo’s pint had barely touched the coaster before he snatched it to his lips. “How big was the snake?”

  “Pretty big.”

  “My reason’s bigger.” He grunted and pulled up his shirt to reveal a smattering of purple scars. “Mauled by a shark.”

  I gaped at his marks. “A shark did that?”

  “No,” Cole and Jules said in unison.

  “No, it was actually a gang of ogres,” Leo said. “They cornered me in the forest after I got separated from my pack.”

  My stomach clenched. “Ugh. That’s awful.” I was glad I didn’t remember the details of my death. Although it likely wasn’t as brutal as Leo’s, it would be harrowing all the same.

  “Also a lie,” Jules said.

  Leo lowered his shirt and sucked down his beer. I guess he wanted to keep the truth to himself.

  I looked at my puncture wound. “I thought Brigit said my marks would fade. Why do you still have yours?”

  “Because I willed it,” Leo said. “I want to remember why I’m here.”

  “Except it isn’t why you’re here,” Cole said. “It may be the reason you died, but it isn’t why you’re here.”

  “Fair enough,” Leo said quietly.

  A third margarita later and I was begging Cole to play Adele on the jukebox. It didn’t matter that he kept insisting there was no jukebox.

  “This is the afterlife,” I shouted, although I had no idea why. The bar wasn’t particularly noisy. “If I want a jukebox, there should be a jukebox.”

  “Doesn’t work that way, human,” Jules said. She moved to the other end of the bar to wait on a cluster of demons. Cole said you could tell they were demons by their glowing red eyes. Although I was too far away to tell, I decided to take his word for it.

  “I don’t want to be dead,” I said. “There are still so many things I want to do.”

  “Like what?” Cole asked. He was only on his second bourbon. His restraint was impressive.

  I buried my head in my hands. “I don’t know. Climb a mountain. Appear in a Marvel movie. Make a killing in the stock market.”

  “Were any of these things likely to happen?”

  “No, but that’s not the point, is it?” I tossed my head back and groaned. “Being dead suuuuucks.”

  “You’ve been dead for a day and you’ve been given a place to live, a mode of transport, and a closet full of clothes.” Cole dumped a few ice cubes in his mouth. “Doesn’t sound so bad to me.”

  “You should talk, son of Zeus,” I slurred.

  He arched a thick and lustrous eyebrow and I suddenly wished I had a little Barbie comb. I could do wonders with those eyebrows.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

  “You must’ve had it so easy,” I said. “Nobody would mess with the son of one of the most powerful gods in history, no matter how complicated your relationship. You could get away with murder.”

  He flinched.

  “Aha!” I said with an air of triumph. “You have gotten away with murder.” I wagged a finger. “You can tell me. We’re drinking buddies. Everything stays in the vault.” I pretended to lock my lips, but my hand slipped and I ended up scratching my chin with an overgrown nail. That was going to leave a mark.

  “I’m a protector of justice and social order, or at least I was,” Cole said, as though that told me everything I needed to know.

  I licked the reminder of the salt from the rim of the glass. God bless sodium. “If you’re such a big protector man, then why aren’t you in charge of criminal investigations here?” I didn’t believe Hera’s claim of civility for one second.

  He averted his gaze, finding something of great interest in the bottom of his empty glass. “Because I wasn’t worthy of the title. Zeus was the only reason it was given to me in the first place. It was an inherited title.”

  “Like the Prince of Wales?” I pressed a hand to my forehead. “Wow, what a mess over there, am I right? Say, can I still get my National Enquirer subscription here?” I burped and covered my mouth. “Did you get anything awesome from your mom? Prince William got his father’s forehead, which is so unfortunate.” Maybe Cole had inherited his thick eyelashes from her.

  “My mother had many wonderful qualities.”

  I pointed a swaying finger at him. “Dana,” I said.

  “Tana,” he corrected me.

  Jules returned to our end of the counter. “Consorting with mortal women was one of Zeus’s favorite hobbies during his marriage to Hera.”

  Cole tensed. “My mother wasn’t a hobby.”

  I suppressed another burp, prompting a smirk from Jules. “How about another round?”

  “I think she’s had enough,” Cole said, before I could answer.

  “What?” I demanded. “Momma like margaritas.”

  “Momma presumably doesn’t like puking,” Cole said.

  One of the demons inched his way closer to us and pinned his fiery gaze on me. “Settle a bet for us. Are you the human?”

  I gave him a friendly wave. “That’s me.”

  He giggled excitedly. Suddenly his glowing red eyes didn’t seem so scary. “Your entrance was amazing! I mean, a hot dog? That’s genius. We haven’t seen this much excitement since the centaurs stampeded the spa.”

  “Why did they do that?” I asked.

  “One of them was refused service,” he said. “The tech said she didn’t work on hooves and there was a public outcry.”

  I had a vision of a centaur with pink hearts painted on his hooves.

  “I’ll probably be obliterated or shipped out of here before I make it to the spa,” I said. “Someone will realize their mistake and send for me.”

  “We’ll have to wait and see,” Cole said. “Are you sure you don’t have any supernatural blood?”

  I stared at Cole, mulling over his background. “I guess I could have some ancient god or goddess way back in my family history. That’s possible, right?”

  “You’d need more than a drop,” Jules said. “It would be too diluted by now if all your other ancestors were humans.”

  The demon was still watching me like I was a monkey in the zoo and my paranoia kicked in. “Would you mind pointing those red lasers in another direction? They’re freaking me out. I feel like I’m about to be disintegrated.” A very real threat under the circumstances.

  The demon’s expression crumpled and he edged back to his companions at the end of the bar.

  Jules gave me an admiring look. “For a human, I think you’re going to do okay here.”

  “Good, because I’ll let you in on a little secret.” I made a loud shushing sound and brought my finger to my lips. “I may have wet my pants.” I hazarded a glance at my lap and slapped a hand on the table, laughing. “False alarm. I spilled my drink.”

  Jules wiped down the counter. “You are welcome here any time, human. The entertainment value outweighs the cleanup.”

  “While we’re spilling secrets…” I began.

  “I think you’re the one doing all the spilling,” Cole pointed out.

  I ignored him. “Do you know my neighborhood had a secret Facebook page?”

  “What’s Facebook?” Cole asked.

  “The devil’s work,” I said.

  “I see. And the page was secret?”

  “Yeah. It’s where they’d post invites to get-togethers, barbecues, all sorts of stuff that I was excluded from.”

  “They didn’t invite you?” Leo asked. He was so quiet that I’d forgotten he was there.

  “Before the Facebook group, they did.” I paused. “Until I got drunk and danced with Mrs. Kelly’s ficus tree—naked.”

  Cole resisted a smile. “That’s unfortunate.”

  I leaned an elbow on the counter, my head feeling too heavy for my neck. “I like to have a good time. Is that a crime?”

  “And now?”

  “And now I’m paying for it, I guess.”

  “You can still have a good time here,” Jules said. “Nobody’s stopping you. In fact, I encourage it.”

  I heard Cole’s warning tone in the way he said, “Jules.”

  “You’re right, vampire,” I said, perking up. “I should dance like nobody’s watching, especially now that I’m dead and could be snapped out of existence like half the Avengers.”

  As I attempted to climb onto the stool, my foot slipped and I narrowly missed hitting my chin on the counter. Two hands held my armpits in an upright position.

  “I don’t think dancing on the bar is in the cards tonight,” Cole said.

  “But I’m amazing,” I said. “You should see how I whip my hair…”

  He released his grip on me. “Eloise, I know you’re going through a lot right now. Believe me, I get it, but I think it’s time to call it a night.”

  I poked the tip of his nose. “Why aren’t you more drunk?”

  “Demigod, remember?”

  “And that gives you an immunity to alcohol?”

  “Not an immunity,” he said. “Just slower to see the effects.”

  “It would take a lot more drinks to see him dance on a bar,” Jules interjected.

  “More than I’d be willing to have,” Cole said. “Ever. A light buzz works well for me.”

  “Anything more brings out the demons,” Jules said, with a knowing wink in his direction. Cole didn’t respond.

  “What does that mean?” I asked. “Aren’t the demons right there?” My arm shot out in the direction of the demons at the end of the bar and I knocked over an empty glass.

  “Not the kind of demons I mean,” she said.

  Cole slipped an arm around my waist. “Let’s go, party girl. We got what we came for. I think it’s time for you to sleep it off.”

  “I’m dead,” I said. “I don’t have to get up for anything ever again.”

  “We have work to do tomorrow.”

  I blew a raspberry in his face. “Like I need to be sober for that.”

  “It would probably help,” he said. “Jules, put everything on my tab, okay?”

  “Sure,” she said. “I like it when you owe me.”

  I slapped my hand against his chest and inwardly marveled at its firmness. “She lets you keep a tab? She must really trust you.”

  “She knows where I live,” he said. “You’ll see. Pretty soon everyone will know where you live too. This place is both a blessing and a curse.”

  “Makes sense,” I mumbled. Naturally supernatural purgatory would fall somewhere in between.

  “Nice meeting you, Eloise,” Leo said.

  I waved over Cole’s shoulder. “Good night, shark bait.”

  The return ferry ride was a blur. We arrived at my golf cart and I slid into a seat with my eyes already closed. A slight breeze tickled my nose and I realized we were in motion. I didn’t dare open my eyes to admire the twinkling lights in Zone 1. The risk to my stomach was too great.

  “Are we in a convertible?” I mumbled.

  “Nothing bigger than a golf cart, remember?”

  “My unicorn poop golf cart,” I mumbled.

  “That’s the one.” Even though my eyes were closed, I could feel him smiling. “Tomorrow we can take my scooter.”

  “Not sexy either,” I whispered.

  “A motorcycle would’ve been my choice, but this is Divine Place. Not all the choices are good ones.”