My oldest sister and I didn’t talk all that often, but she’d been happy enough to send me the recipe and chat a bit about her kids’ school activities and my ranch adventures, the sort of small talk that usually left me lonelier than before I’d called. But obtaining the recipe had been worth it, especially if Grayson liked the dish.

  “What did you think of the casserole?”

  “It’ll do.” He shrugged, but his small, pleased smile gave him away.

  I wasn’t about to let him off that easily. “I tried hard.”

  “I know you did. You did good.” Grayson gentled his tone. “I…uh…suck at giving compliments.”

  “Except when you don’t.” I gave him a pointed stare that replayed the heated memory of every bit of sexy praise he’d handed out.

  “Fair.” He shrugged again, mood far easier than his typical sternness. “Maverick said you’re sticking around for Christmas too. Figured you might go home for one holiday or the other.”

  “Nah.” I sighed, intending to leave it at that, but Grayson’s easy mood invited more honesty as opposed to chitchat. “As it turns out, having a big family is no guarantee you’ll fit in with any of them.”

  “I’m sorry.” He frowned, a fierce look sweeping across his expression like he might personally give a lecture to each of my siblings.

  “Don’t be.” I waved my fork. “It wasn’t all bad, even if I did slip through the cracks in parental attention. I wouldn’t say I was a problem child, and I learned to live in the chaos of our household, but I was also always aware that I was…different.”

  “You mean being gay?” Grayson lowered his voice.

  “That too.” I shrugged. There were indeed nine of us, and I was the only openly queer sibling, but our differences ran deeper. “More that I wanted to be the center of attention in a family with no room for show-offs. My parents called me the needy one, which I guess was fair.”

  “Penalizing you for liking some attention doesn’t sound fair to me.” Grayson’s glower was more severe than any priest’s censure and undoubtedly would have had both my parents quaking.

  “It felt like the harder I tried, the less I fit in until I finally stopped trying as much,” I admitted. I’d learned to bake cookies, made deals and bets, been the family clown, but those efforts never seemed to pay off.

  “You seem to be fittin’ in here.” Grayson’s tone was more thoughtful, but the words landed like an unexpected compliment.

  “You think?” I beamed at him. The rare praise I didn’t have to court was sweet indeed. “And thank you.”

  “Trust me. I’m surprised.” He chuckled and finished another bite of turkey before adding, “But I gotta give credit. You’re doin’ right fine work, and you’ve won over the bunkhouse.”

  “Cookies will do that.” I might be a hopeless optimist, but I was also pragmatic.

  “You could never make another batch, and Casey and Kat would still have your back.” Grayson gave me a fierce stare like I’d missed some essential point.

  I wasn’t sure I believed him. For most of my life, my worth had been predicated on what I could do for others. From early deals and bargains with my siblings through friend groups and my hotel work, my value seemed highest when I could be of service. I didn’t know what to make of his assertion and definitely wasn’t about to test his theory, but I nodded anyway.

  “Thanks.”

  “You coming over after the meal to check on the dogs?” Grayson’s tone was almost indifferent, yet the question felt far weightier than usual.

  “I could.” I matched his idle tone. Lately, he’d been handling the dogs at night, no doubt in an attempt to see me less. “Is that an invitation?”

  “Suit yourself.” Plate now empty, Grayson stretched. “Reckon I’ll get caught up on Jeopardy either way.”

  “Oh, I’m down for some Jeopardy.” Memories of last time filled me with more heat than advisable for the number of people milling around. “I need to finish passing the Secret Santa signup sheet before people start leaving. Shall I put your name down?”

  “You know me better than that,” he scoffed as he stood.

  “I do.” I stood as well, blocking his descent. “And if anyone deserves a little surprise, it’s you.”

  “Ha. Out here, surprises are liable to be deadly.” His eyes took on a world-weariness I’d give a lot to erase. “I’ve had my share of shockers, thank you. I’ll leave the fun to others.”

  “If you’re sure…” I trailed off, already plotting ways to surprise him no matter how much he protested.

  “I’m sure.” His expression turned stern again as he pointed a thick index finger at me. “Don’t you go thinkin’ I’m sweeter than I am.”

  “I won’t.” I grinned because I knew better than most how sweet he truly could be. “And I’ll be around later.”

  “Suppose I can leave a light on.”

  “You do that.” I managed to mimic his bored tone, although my body was anything but disinterested, nerves humming from anticipation and the thrill of victory at finally earning another repeat.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Grayson

  Adler finally wore me down. I wasn’t sure if it was the food coma, the sheer number of people, or Adler’s competence in managing the holiday that did it, but I’d issued the invite for him to stop by, knowing full well where we were headed. Maybe it was the presence of both a green bean and a sweet potato casserole. Maybe it was Adler’s vulnerability talking about his family. He wanted so badly to be seen, and I couldn’t seem to look away, despite my best efforts. I sure as hell wasn’t his or anyone else’s forever, but if attention and praise were what he craved, I was only too happy to serve up a heaping helping tonight.

  Adler was still visiting with Maverick and the other guests when I made it back to my place and let the dogs out. The dogs had settled into a routine with me by now. While Rory had typical puppy energy, she hadn’t had an accident in weeks, and the dogs were long finished with their antibiotics. Jude had them scheduled for spaying in early December. He’d offered to comp the surgery, but I’d waved the notion off. The longer they stayed, the more I couldn’t see parting with one or both. Supposed they were mine now, not that I was going to go admitting that to Adler.

  After the dogs were back inside, I took a fast shower, another admission that Adler wasn’t coming over for the dogs or the game show. Adler, however, took his sweet time showing up, so I flipped on the latest episode and tried not to get impatient. Finally, his knock sounded at my door, and the dogs predictably lost their minds at his arrival. I hit pause on the show before letting Adler in.

  “Hey. Brought you some leftover apple pie.” He pulled off his knit beanie to reveal damp hair and tossed that and his coat on my couch before setting what looked to be half a pie on my small dining table. He’d changed from the dress shirt and silver pants he’d worn to the dinner into jeans and yet another band T-shirt. Stooping to pet the dogs, he shifted his voice to the singsong that always got their tails wagging. “Who’s hungry?”

  “Already put the chow down,” I said before he could go check the bowls. “Rotated the water too.”

  “I see.” As he slipped off his boots, he offered me a heated once-over. “Seeing as how you handled the dogs yourself and started Jeopardy without me, what precisely were you inviting me over for?”

  “This.” I pulled him toward me for a possessive kiss. First one since I’d kissed him in such a fevered rush, and the first one where I felt in control enough to slow down and enjoy a slow tease. I traced his lips with the tip of my tongue until he made an impatient noise and clutched my shoulders. I noticed more this time as well, like the subtle tremor racing through his slim torso and the eager way he sucked on my tongue while also letting me lead. Outside, a late November cold snap raged, but inside my trailer, Adler radiated summer sunshine with every kiss.

  I held him close as the dogs danced around us, eventually giving up and heading to other parts of the trailer. I couldn’t get enough of having Adler in my arms after weeks of wanting, kissing him until he sagged against me, grinning up at me as he caught his breath.

  “That’ll do.” He did a passable imitation of my voice before motioning behind us at my TV. “Are we watching your show, or are we fucking?”

  He glanced meaningfully toward my bedroom.

  “Both.” I stalked over to my chair. He’d given me plenty of time to plot what I wanted, and I’d already stashed the lube, condoms, and a towel near my recliner. I’d only bothered with faded jeans so soft they might as well be flannel after my shower, and I let them drop right in front of my chair. I sat back before motioning at him. “Go on and strip.”

  Adler being Adler, he didn’t simply peel off his clothes. Instead, he gave a shimmy with a sly grin, lifting and lowering his shirt and toying with the button on his jeans. I let him have his fun dancing to music only he could hear, but I could only take so much teasing.

  “Come on over here,” I ordered. He obediently finished stripping off his pants, but didn’t stop with the dancing even after he straddled me in the chair. I was only too happy to serve as his stripper pole. Our hard cocks brushed together, an electric sensation I still wasn’t used to. I liked it, though, same as I liked his slim body in my lap, the hard planes of his chest, the softness of his flat stomach, the strength in his thighs.

  “Want me to get myself ready?” he asked as his gaze landed on the condoms and lube behind the lamp on the end table next to us.

  “For someone beggin’ for a repeat, you sure do like to rush.” I chuckled. My body was as impatient as his, but I was also determined to draw this out, make it last, squeeze in all the kissing and touching I could.

  “It’s that or let you edge me to death.” He stuck his tongue out at me.

  “Just for that back talk, you’re not coming until after I do.” I made my voice all stern, loving his answering shiver.

  “And how many episodes will that be?” He continued right on being defiant, and I manhandled him around, easily flipping him across my thighs.

  “Watch your sass.” I squeezed his ass.

  “I will.” He gave a satisfied groan.

  “You seem awfully happy to be ass up over my lap.” I fondled his ass some more, alternating between light caresses and firm squeezes. “Reckon I might need to teach you a lesson.”

  I reached for the lube, intending to take my time fingering him open until he remembered the value of waiting and was begging me to fuck him, but to my surprise, he made a frustrated noise.

  “Thought you were going to spank me.”

  “That a complaint or a request?” I cupped his ass again with my free hand.

  “Both.” Adler turned his head to stare up at me with big, eager eyes as he licked his lips. “Never been spanked. I might like it.”

  Me too. I’d played around a little before, but I’d always been hyperaware of my own strength, torn between liking the spanking and worrying I liked it too much. Taming a brat was one thing, while putting a hurt on someone was a whole different beast. Enjoying handing out pain, even consensual, made me a mite uneasy. And yet, want coursed through me. Adler had been begging me to punish him for weeks now, and my resistance was wearing thin.

  “If you’re any good at it,” he taunted.

  Crack. I didn’t give him any warning before dishing out a measured swat on his ass. He yelped, but he sounded more surprised than pained.

  “Still curious?” I kept my voice indifferent.

  “Very.” He thrust his ass toward my hand as if I might miss the message. I went ahead and set the lube back down so I had both hands free to play.

  “Gonna give you ten.” I groped his ass. The way he wriggled around had me hard as fuck, but I also hadn’t lost my determination to draw this out. “You decide otherwise, you say red or pinch my leg.”

  “Got it.” He grinned up at me a final time before turning his face away. Keeping my strength in check, I swatted him three more times, enough to bring a pale rosy glow to his ass. Adler gave a low moan and kept on wriggling around. “Surprised that’s all you’ve got.”

  Smack. I took that as a dare to go harder on my next two spanks. He groaned low after each one like I was handing out candy, not a spanking. Adrenaline coursed through me, a mix of desire and satisfaction. I couldn’t believe how much he seemed to like even the harder stuff.

  “You sure do like playin’ the brat. Reckon you’ve been needing someone to take you in hand.”

  “Yes. Please.” He moaned even before I spanked him again. I went slightly harder with each of my next few swats, enjoying the way his ass went from the barest of flushes to deeper pink handprints. His skin was so pale that each mark stood out like a vivid brand. My whole body thrilled at the sight. I had a powerful like for him wearing my marks.

  Slowly, his wiggling around and loud moans gave way to breathy gasps and more deliberate motions that followed the rhythm of the spanking, rubbing himself against my thigh. A sense of calm settled over both of us, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Adler’s expression so peaceful. His face was slightly turned toward me, eyes shut, mouth slack, cheeks pink.

  “One more.” I was almost reluctant to break this magical spell, but I’d said ten and meant to stick to it. Massaging his ass, I inspected my handiwork, picking the perfect place for the last spank, right on the curve of his cheek. I drew my hand back, and we held our breath in unison before I swatted him, the hardest one yet, and he gave a broken moan like he was five seconds from climax.

  “Now. Please. Fuck me.” He didn’t wait for permission to spin around on my lap and straddle me. He kissed me with a new level of ferocity, as if he wanted to inhale my soul. My cock pulsed painfully between us. Adler being this needy and begging was always going to do it for me. I reached for the lube and generously slicked up two of my fingers.

  “Show me how ready you are.” I reached around him to tease his rim, letting him be the one to control penetration as he rocked back.

  “So ready.” He slithered, more of his earlier lap dance, undulating on me as he bore down on my fingers. I curved them to hit the spot that had made his face go floodlight bright last time, and he moaned, fucking my fingers faster. “Cock. Now. Please. Need you in me.”

  “You’re rather demanding,” I chided as I withdrew my fingers and took care of the condom and more lube. “And you’re still gonna wait to come.”

  “Figured.” His voice was breathy as he shifted to hover over my cock. “And I know better than to tell you to go fast.”

  “Yep. That’s the way to get me to flip the show back on,” I threatened before tapping his sore ass lightly. “Give us both a good ride now.”

  Bracing his hands on my shoulders, he did exactly that, lowering himself with little gasps until he was full seated. His ass was hot and tight and gripped my cock perfectly, and watching his face was the biggest turn-on of my life. I’d bragged about lasting, but he’d barely started to move when I was already having to do ranch math like grain prices and feed ratios in my head to keep from urging him faster.

  As it was, I splayed my hands over his hips and ass, encouraging his motions. His skin remained ever so slightly warmer from the spanking, another detail that went straight to my cock. Adler shut his eyes again, head falling back, red hair clinging to his forehead in sweaty curls. He had very little chest hair, but what body hair he did have was also reddish and another unexpected turn-on. Apparently, I was quickly developing a thing for freckled gingers.

  I groaned along with him as he found a rhythm that pleased us both. Pulling him forward, I claimed his mouth for a searching kiss, one that went on and on, a kiss in concert with the fuck. His cock was trapped between us, and I could feel his every breath until even that was in sync.

  “Please tell me you’re close,” he gasped.

  I was, but I wasn’t about to admit it, not when he relied on my control.

  “Think you can hold out if I go harder?” I asked instead.

  “Yes. Please. I’ll be good.” He moved faster, already anticipating. I tightened my grip on his hips, pulling him more forcefully against me. The fuck was quickly spiraling beyond my ability to manage, but hell if I could be bothered to care.

  “You are good.” Praise poured from my lips, a steady stream of words that made Adler light up, his face taking on an angelic glow. “So good for me.”

  “Yes.” Adler rode me harder, body tense and trembling even without a hand on his cock. “Please come in me, Gray. Please.”

  His “please” alone might have done it, but the begging for my climax, the hunger in his eyes as he asked for my come, made me powerless to do anything other than comply.

  “Fuck.” I bucked underneath him, fucking into him hard and fast, orgasm plowing into me like an eighteen-wheeler without brakes on a mountain road. Not even a runaway truck exit could stop me from coming and coming. The way Adler shook against me, I almost thought he was climaxing as well, but his face was a mask of tortured pleasure, not release.

  “Please?” he gritted out the word. And damn, his restraint was almost enough to have me coming all over again, the way he’d held back simply because I’d ordered him to wait.

  “Yeah, baby.” I worked a hand between us to grip his hard cock. “You did good. Earned a nice reward.”

  “Yes.” His body bowed backward, and I used my other hand to steady him.

  I liked how his cock felt in my hand, solid and right. He leaked precome, and I smeared it around his cockhead.

  “Be a good boy, and come for me, Adler.”

  “Oh, Gray.” Adler was a fucking revelation as he came, a multitude of emotions crossing his expressive face. Pleased noises escaped his throat, little gasps and mumbles, and pleasure swept through me, my cock giving one last answering pulse inside the tight grip of his ass.

  “Wow.” He sagged against me, both of us breathing hard for several long minutes, as in sync for the aftermath as we’d been for the fucking. At some point, he reached between us to grip the base of the condom before pulling off me, but he settled right back down on my lap, cuddled against my side. “Please don’t send me away yet.”