But at least as hard as that had been, I was happy my family was there to support me. And spending time with my family was a lot of fun. I spent the next four days talking to Rylie, cooking with my mom, playing with Izzy with my dad, and playing games with everyone in the evening. We spent the fourth of July itself on the lake with everyone my siblings and I had grown up with—some family, some friends. By the time the sun went down, I could feel the sunburn growing on my arms and legs. My hair was finally mostly dry from swimming earlier in the day. Rylie and I won at chicken fight and volleyball—as usual. Just before the city’s fireworks were set to start, we all climbed into the back of our neighbor’s old Ford truck. Johnny had lined the whole bed with pillows and blankets. Rylie and I crawled to the back, wedging ourselves in the corner by the cab. Our parents, Johnny, and his wife, Tess, sat towards the tailgate. Johnny and Tess’ had two sons that had also joined us. Ryan sat closer to his parents, but John hopped over the side of the truck, making himself comfortable next to me.

  Rylie and I, being the closest in age, had grown up with John. He was the same age as us but had stayed in town as well after high school. For the longest time, we were all convinced that Rylie and John would get together. They were close enough, having dated a couple times. But Rylie had told me in confidence that she could just never see him that way—not long term at least.

  “How you ladies been?” John asked, resting his forearms on his knees and leaning forward enough to see both of us.

  “Just fine.” Rylie answered for both of us.

  “How’s the city life treating you, Rhys?” John asked, bumping my shoulder with his.

  In another life, maybe John and I would have ended up together. While everyone thought he and Rylie were perfect for each other, Rylie thought John and I made more sense. We liked a lot of the same things, both enjoyed math, and loved dogs. But there was one glaring difference between us that would keep it from ever working. He had no desire to leave our hometown and I couldn’t imagine ever moving back. There was no compromising between us.

  “It’s been good. I’m volunteering at an animal shelter clinic type place.”

  “Oh?” John tilted his head.

  “Yeah.” I explained to him the entire story, from the beginning where Izzy ate the donuts—cue Izzy looking at us with her sweet eyes—to the shelter, to volunteering, and even to including tidbits about Luca. John was fully immersed in what I was saying but every time I mentioned Luca’s name, he seemed to flinch slightly.

  “That’s amazing.” He said with a smile that wasn’t completely genuine.

  “It really is.” I gave a weak smile back, trying not to seem too overjoyed. “How has everything been here for you?”

  “You know, same old same old.” John looked up, watching as the fireworks began.

  About a quarter of the way into the show, a cold breeze wafted in from the lake, causing me to shiver. Without even a word, John pulled a blanket out, tossing it over the three of us before sliding his arm behind my shoulder, pulling me close.

  It didn’t feel romantic—not in the way it might have any other year. This time, it just felt normal. Here I was, between two of my closest childhood friends. And I was happy.

  CHAPTER 6

  I was exhausted and thoroughly sunburned by the time I made it home from my parents. I was tempted to call in sick to work the next day but had already taken off so much that I was certain my boss wouldn’t appreciate it. But the idea of faking food poisoning was still heavy on my mind as I dragged myself out of bed and in to work that Wednesday.

  Since we’d missed our Monday night, Becca met me at a local restaurant for dinner after we were both done with work. Her and her fiancé had flown back to his parent’s house for the holiday themselves and she had plenty to share with me about his eccentric family.

  We laughed together until we were nearly snorting and choking on our mojitos. I told her about the fireworks—both the show over the lake and what I had found myself to be sad on missing with John.

  “Rhys, you know it didn’t work with him for a reason. You guys could only have ever been a fling and that would have ruined your friendship.”

  “Yeah, but look at how well it worked with Jared. Not.” I snorted as I took a long drag of my drink.

  “Just because Jared turned out to be a bag of dicks, does not mean you need to reminisce about something that wasn’t meant to happen either. Plus, I think you’ve got better things on your horizon.” The way she raised her eyebrow scared me.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m just saying, you seem happier these days. And it all coincides with a certain someone who runs a certain clinic.”

  “Luca?” I nearly squealed. “No.” I felt the color rise to my cheeks.

  “Come on, admit it out loud. You’d love for something more to happen between you two.”

  “I-I—” I sputtered.

  “See, I know these things.”

  I sighed, rolling my eyes. I lowered my head, for some reason feeling the need to whisper. “But you know it won’t work. Luca is…” I trailed off, looking out into the dining room. “He’s perfect.”

  “And what’s wrong with perfect?”

  “I don’t get perfect.” My voice came out melancholier than I anticipated.

  “Rhys.” Becca breathed, mirroring my sadness. “That’s not fair to say.”

  I looked back at her. “I’m sorry. I just…” I huffed. “I’m tired of being alone.”

  “So, do something about it. Ask him out. I bet you he’d say yes.”

  “Even if I was a hundred percent confident he’d say yes, I don’t think I could.”

  “Want me to?”

  “We’re not in middle school, Becca.” I rolled my eyes at her.

  “Then grow some balls and ask him out.” She shrugged, nonchalantly and took another sip of her drink.

  “I’m pretty sure if I grew some balls, he’d definitely not say yes.”

  We both let out a roar of laughter and I felt my pity melt away.

  We finished our drinks and splurged on some dessert before finally going our separate ways.

  The rest of the week went by much faster. I’d fallen into a steady rhythm—which was welcome in my life. I didn’t always handle a lot of change well. I’d always been a creature of habit, only changing sometimes when I had no choice. In this case, I’d happily altered my weekly rhythm. Izzy seemed to be just fine with it too. I still had Saturdays to do whatever I desired—which sometimes meant just lounging in my apartment all day. Then Sundays, I made my way to the clinic, usually with coffee in hand for both Luca and myself.

  I walked in with two large mochas for us, finding Luca in the room with the cats. I joined him in cleaning the room, their litter boxes, and feeding them before we made our way to the dogs. We made small talk here and there. The front door seemed to be a revolving door with pet owners and prospective pet owners all day. We barely had a chance to sit and take a breath, much less scarf down the sandwiches that Luca had ordered for us for lunch.

  It wasn’t until we were closing up that I finally checked my phone. We were about to walk out of the front door when the 1 New Voicemail and 1 Missed Call lit up, causing me to pause.

  “I’ll see you in a few days, Rhys.” Luca called out.

  “Oh yeah.” I responded, looking up to wave.

  “Have a good night.” He said but his words were drowned out by the pounding in my ears from my heart, nearly ricocheting out of my chest.

  Missed Call: Jared Thompson

  “Rhys?” Luca called and out of the corner of my eye I saw him coming back towards me. I quickly straightened myself out, plastering a fake smile on my face.

  “You too.” I called and turned to my car. I loaded Izzy in the back and climbed in before Luca could say another word.

  I drove home in silence, a million thoughts swirling through my mind—not a single one able to make sense of why he called me.

  I avoided my phone like it was the plague when I got home, choosing to only focus on my television until my eyes were too tired to keep me awake any longer. I barely touched my phone all day at work too on Monday. I only checked it long enough to make sure that Becca would still be grabbing dinner before meeting me at my place.

  I tried to act normal as we set ourselves up on my couch and found a cheesy chick flick to watch.

  “What’s going on with you tonight?” Becca asked, eyes still mostly focused on the movie.

  “Huh?” I asked, bringing my attention back to the room.

  “What’s going on? You seem weird.” She finally looked at me, looking me up and down with narrowed eyes.

  I shrugged, trying to force the words to come out. Finally, I opened my mouth. “Jared called me.” I dropped the bomb on Becca just as she took a bite of pizza.

  She nearly choked and I had to grab her glass of wine for her. “I’m sorry. What?” She asked, eyes wide.

  “Jared called me.”

  “Okay, so I did hear you right. I thought I was having a heart attack or something.”

  “Oh, trust me, when I saw his name pop up on my phone, I thought I was having a stroke.”

  “What did he want?”

  “I didn’t answer.”

  “Did he leave a message?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What did it say?”

  “I haven’t listened to it.” I was terrified to if I was being honest. I hadn’t heard from him in a year. He walked out of my life, voluntarily. What could he want with me?

  “When did he call?”

  “Yesterday when I was at the clinic. It was so busy that I didn’t see the missed call until I was leaving.”

  Becca’s mouth hung open, shock taking over her entire face. “Well, let’s listen to it.” She finally said.

  I took a deep breath and shakily pulled out my phone, dialing my voicemail. I skipped the first two messages—one from my mom reminding me to tell Ruby happy birthday and one from the pharmacy, telling me my prescription was ready for pick up.

  The moment I heard his voice, I could have sworn my heart stopped.

  “Hey Rhys. It’s me. Jared. I uh, I know this is completely out of the blue but if you could call me, I’d really like that. Just, uh. Please call me back.”

  I could hear the nerves shredding through his voice. We replayed the message two more times, both of us squinting as we each tried to dissect the message.

  “Call him back.” Becca said, motioning to my phone.

  “Right now?” I balked.

  “Yeah, while I’m here. I’ll be silent but supportive.” She faked sealing her lips for emphasis.

  “I don’t know.” I trailed off.

  “You know you want to know why he called.”

  “But I was doing so well at pretending he didn’t exist.”

  “Were you though?” Becca’s words were accusing but accurate.

  “I was trying at least.”

  “Just call him. That way you know and can maybe actually move on. If you don’t, you won’t be able to stop thinking about it.”

  I sighed then took a deep breath and dialed his number. I put the phone on speaker and Becca held a finger up to her mouth, reminding me that she would be quiet.

  “Rhys?” Jared’s voice came through the phone, sounding just as I remembered.

  “Yeah.” My voice was trembling.

  “I’m so glad you called back.” I actually heard a sigh of relief come through the phone.

  “Why did you call me?” I blurted out, unable to wait any longer.

  He hesitated. “I need to talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  “Can I see you? Please?”

  “I’m busy.”

  “I know. I mean tomorrow maybe? I know you’re with Becca now, probably. Hi, Becca.” Becca and I shot each other a look before looking back down at my phone.

  “Hi, Jared.” Becca said, sheepishly.

  “What do you say, Rhys. Will you meet me tomorrow? Please.”

  I looked back up at Becca and she nodded.

  “Um, where?”

  “How about the park?” He didn’t have to say anything more. I knew where he was talking about. There was an old picnic table that we used to sit at and have lunch. Then we’d all wade into the lake—Jared, myself, and Izzy.

  “What time?”

  “When you get off work?”

  For a moment, I was frustrated that he still seemed to know my schedule.

  “Okay.”

  “And one more thing.”

  “What?”

  “Can you bring Izzy? I miss her.”

  At the mention of her name, Izzy lifted her head, cocking one ear to the side out of confusion. “Maybe.” I said, feeling like Izzy was my child or something and I didn’t want her to get confused from seeing him for the first time in a year just to never see him again.

  “Thank you, Rhys.”

  “Good night, Jared.” I ended the call before he could say anything else and finally let myself breathe a full breath.

  “Well, then.” Becca said, saying all that either of us could muster at the moment.

  “Yeah.”

  I could tell Becca was itching to ask questions, try to talk it through, but she was avoiding it for my sake. She knew I was trying to process it all.

  So, instead, she brought her focus back to the movie, filling our evening with small talk before she finally gave me a hug goodnight.

  CHAPTER 7

  My nerves were a disaster throughout the entire day of work. I couldn’t focus to save my life and found myself mindlessly scrolling social media nearly every moment I could. Luckily, I had my own private office and barely anyone needed me for anything all day. I knew it was bad when I found myself doing a deep dive on Jared’s social media, trying to glean any information I could.

  Finally, five o’clock arrived. I drove home, staying just long enough to get Izzy. I’d debated back and forth on bringing her but finally landed on needing her. She could be a great buffer for me. She’d always been so infatuated with Jared and I knew it killed her just as much to not have him around.

  I took the short drive to the park, making my way down the gravel path until I found the secluded section that we’d always loved. Luckily, there wasn’t anyone else in the area.

  I pulled my car in beside Jared’s, recognizing his bumper stickers immediately. I got out and slowly made my way to the driver’s side but saw that he wasn’t in the car. I looked around, finally seeing him sitting on the picnic table down on the sand.

  I knew he knew I was there. The gravel road was loud enough to hear anyone driving by from the table. But he didn’t turn to look to me until he saw Izzy.

  The moment his eyes landed on mine, I saw him break out into a wide grin. It caught me completely off guard. I offered a smile back, no where near as enthusiastic though. He jumped off the table and knelt down, pulling Izzy into a bear hug and letting her kiss him all over, surely leaving bits of dog drool all over. But he didn’t seem to care one bit.

  Finally, he stood and came towards me. “Rhys.” He breathed, smile back in place.

  “Hi Jared.” I managed, voice shaky.

  Izzy was completely unaware of the tension filling the air. She was tugging at her leash, desperately trying to get freedom to chase the birds.

  “Here, let me take her. Want to take a walk?” He reached out, wrapping his hand around the end of the leash but also wrapping his hand around mine.

  The fire shot through my hand and I felt betrayed. Just a momentary touch from him still had my body wanting to propel into his arms.

  I forced a nod and let him take the leash as we made our way down the beach, slowly walking. It was a silent stalemate at first. I refused to speak, and he seemed to be working up the courage to say whatever it was that had him reaching out to me after a year of radio silence.

  We made it a few yards down the beach before he finally spoke up. “Rhys, I just want to start by saying I’m sorry. I don’t think I ever really said that to you.”

  I gulped, knowing a wave of tears were going to erupt at any point but trying to put them off for as long as I could. “Thank you.” I choked out.

  “You didn’t deserve what I did to you. It wasn’t fair to you. I was scared.”

  “I was too.” I whispered. “We were young. We still are.”

  “Yeah, but I ran instead of staying by your side.”

  The tears burned more, and I had to face the lake. I couldn’t risk looking at him. Not now. It didn’t matter how he looked at me, one look into his eyes and I’d collapse into a mess all over again. I was barely holding on as it was. “But it is what it is.” I said, not believing a word I said.

  “I’m so sorry I told you I wasn’t ready. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to do that, but I did.” I heard his voice crack and stole a moment to glance out of the corner of my eye. I could tell he was fighting back tears just as hard as I was. “I think I realized almost right away that I’d made a huge mistake.”

  “What took you so long to reach out then?” The question slipped from my lips before I could hold back.

  “Fear. Regret. Shame, mostly.”

  “You could have, you know. You could have reached out. I was hurt but I didn’t hate you.”

  “I don’t know how you didn’t. I hated myself. Hell, I still fight with that often.”

  “Then what made you reach out now?”

  Jared looked away and squinted his eyes. “I saw you at the grocery store the other day. I wanted to come up to you then but couldn’t get myself to. I just watched you as you got your vegetables. And I know that makes me sound like a creeper, but I think I couldn’t approach you because you looked happy. You looked okay and I didn’t want to mess that up. I’d already hurt you so much. But watching you shop just reminded me of all that I’d lost. And I struggled every day since then before I realized I couldn’t not try.”