I pull up to Thomas’ apartment but I don’t see his car parked in his spot. I check my phone and realize he texted saying he was going to be late. It was raining bad, but I hadn’t considered it to hold him up. He texts me where to find the key and to ‘make myself at home’.

  When the guy you’re not really seeing tells you to let yourself into his apartment and where the spare key is, of course you have to snoop. It’s like in the rules or something. So when Thomas left me outside his apartment for twenty minutes and a text of the key hidden above the door frame, I find myself inside. He wouldn’t be home for another hour and he was insistent on having me here when he got home. It was kind of cute; we were becoming domestic and shit.

  I don’t bother with the kitchen but check out the books he has in the living room. Most of them are from law school, I’m sure mostly to impress any company. His bedroom door is open so I take that as an invitation and look for a t-shirt to wear. I didn’t want to invade his privacy, but maybe see if he had any porn in his nightstand. I take everything off and slide into one of his bigger t-shirts. He would be happy to come home to me in this.

  I lay in his bed for a bit, scrolling through my phone and waiting for him to get here. My curiosity gets the better of me and I slide over to his side of the bed and ponder looking in his nightstand. Surely he has nothing embarrassing, besides I was sleeping here most nights. Of course he wouldn’t have anything he wouldn’t want me to see.

  Pulling open the drawer, I find some chapstick, a bottle of lotion I’d be asking about later and a bunch of boring work papers. The man really was a workaholic. But it’s the small black box that catches my eye. It was small enough to look like an engagement ring box, but surely he didn’t have one of those. I guess it can’t hurt to look inside. Popping it open, I audibly gasp.

  Inside was a huge diamond engagement ring. The diamond is the side of a quarter, at least. Was Thomas going to propose?! What the hell happened to taking things slow? I thought we had more time before we talked about stuff like that. Why had he already bought the ring? Maybe he was just holding it for a friend, I try to reassure myself. I take the ring out of the box and look inside for an inscription.

  `Alexandria, with all my love- Thomas’

  “What the fuck.” I say aloud.

  “Mallory? Are you here?” Thomas calls. Of fucking course he’s here right now. I don’t move, not that I could. I was frozen in shock.

  “Hey, there you ar…” His voice stops as he sees what I’m holding. “What are you doing with that?”

  “I could ask you the same thing.”

  “You invaded my privacy and you’re mad at me?” He scoffs.

  “You were engaged and never mentioned it.”

  “I wasn’t engaged.” He walks over and holds out a hand. I give it back to him and he puts it back in the box.

  “What?” I ask confused.

  “I asked her and she said no. Actually, she broke up with me right then and there.” His jaw clenches. I’ve never seen him this angry before. No wonder he had gotten so upset when we ran into her.

  “Thomas,” I reach for him but he steps back like someone has electrocuted him.

  “You should go.” He growls.

  “We can talk about this, I’m sorry I found it but-” he cuts me off.

  “No. I’m done talking about this.” He shuts me down.

  I would not beg for his attention, if he wanted me to leave I would. I realize I’m only wearing his shirt but I don’t stop to take it off or change. I would pretend I had some sense of dignity. Grabbing my clothes on the way out, I race to my car. That’s when the tears pour down my cheeks, knowing I was responsible for the ending of whatever Thomas and I were.

  MALLORY

  I show up at the only person’s house I know without putting their address in my GPS. I probably shouldn’t be driving between my tears blurring my vision and this terrible rain but I make it there safely. As I wait in the rain for her to come, I ring the doorbell and hope she is still home. While also hoping none of her roommates open the door. I was still only wearing Thomas’ t-shirt and no pants. Maybe I should’ve thrown some on before I knocked but it was too late now.

  “Hello?” I look up to see a man I’ve never seen before, answer the door.

  “Hi, shit I’m sorry to interrupt date night.” I probably look like a shit show. This was probably the guy she was telling me about. “I’m Mallory. “

  “Roger,” He holds out his hand. “Charlie! It’s Mallory! Please come in, you look freezing.” He ushers me inside and I’m thankful for the warmth.

  “Mallory?” Charlie comes down the hall with a confused look on her face. “Shit, Mal are you okay?”

  “No,” it’s the question that sends me over the edge. The tears start again and I collapse in her arms. “I’m sorry,” I sob into her arms.

  “I’m going to head home, I’ll see you tomorrow babe.” Roger kisses Charlie’s head on the way out and I feel even worse.

  “I’’m so sorry I interrupted date night.” I sob.

  “Why don’t you come get some dry clothes and then we can talk about what’s wrong?” She suggests. I nod and follow her to her bedroom.

  Charlie hands me a dry t-shirt and a pair of leggings but I realize I don’t want to change my shirt. It’s the last and only thing I have from Thomas. If she took it, it wouldn’t smell like him anymore. Isn’t it ironic? We started because of a stupid t-shirt ,and now that’s all I have left of him.

  “Is that Thomas’ t-shirt?” She asks when she realizes I don’t want to take it off.

  “Yes.” I say trying not to cry again.

  “Why are you wearing my brother’s t-shirt?”

  “I’m so sorry.” I sob.

  It’s uncontrollable, and I watch as my best friend realizes what’s going on. I wait for her to kick me to the curb but she pulls me close for a long hug. She just holds me while I cry, waiting for me to calm down. When I finally run out of tears I tell her, from the beginning, what happened. She’s completely silent, listening to each detail.

  “So you and Thomas?” She sits on the edge of her bed, trying to wrap her head around it.

  “Yeah.” I nod.

  “I mean I knew you had a crush, but I considered nothing ever happening.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t have to apologize, you’re both consenting adults. I’m just hurt you didn’t want to tell me.”

  “You’re not mad we were together?” I ask not hiding my shock.

  “Obviously I’m not happy being lied to, but no, I would’ve supported it. And had you told me, I would’ve mentioned his engagement. Mom told me not too long ago, just so I wouldn’t give him a hard time or anything.” She explains. It’s like the last few weeks of stress I was carrying onto was for nothing. My best friend only cared about me being happy, no matter who it was with.

  “I’m so sorry, I wanted to tell you but I was worried I’d lose you.”

  “That would never happen.” She takes my hand. “I’m sorry you found out that way and I’m sorry he asked you to leave. He’s an idiot.”

  “No, it’s my fault. I snooped and curiosity killed the cat.” I sigh.

  “I should’ve realized the first time you had his t-shirt. No one likes that stupid band.” She says and I laugh. Only Charlie would think of something like that.

  She makes some popcorn and put on some movie neither of us was really watching. I cried anytime a couple kissed, and she just patted my back, comforting me. I don’t take off Thomas’ t-shirt and she doesn’t mention him again. She said it was okay, but I am sure she was upset that I didn't tell her. But now wasn’t the time to bring it up.

  I finally fall asleep around eleven on the couch with her. At some point I feel her shift and head to her own bed, but she comes back with a blanket for me. Falling back asleep, I wake up at 4am, shaking from a nightmare. I was watching Thomas and Alexandria get married and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I screamed and screamed as they kissed but no one heard me. Luckily I wasn’t screaming in real life but the dream felt so lifelike it woke me up.

  I decide to check my phone and see one missed call from Thomas. Two hours ago. Why hadn’t I heard my phone ring? Maybe he was calling to apologize. To talk about everything. It was four am, but he was up two hours ago. Maybe he was still up now. I say fuck it and dial his number. On the second ring someone answers.

  “Hello?” A woman’s voice sends chills through my spine. He was already with another woman? Was I really just some rebound to him?

  “I-Is Thomas there?” I choke out.

  “Yeah, one second.” She says but I hang up as she calls his name. Thomas was with another woman. At four am. I wanted to throw up. I knew some people moved on quickly, but wow. There was no other reason a woman would answer his phone this late.

  I sneak into Charlie’s room “Can I sleep in here?”

  She nods and opens her arms for me groggily. I’m thankful because I didn’t want to be alone. My head hits the pillow but I don’t sleep anymore. Staring at her pale ceiling as she snores next to me, my head running with a million thoughts at once. The last thing I want to do is fall back asleep. I’m not sure if it’s because of the nightmares or the reality of my life.

  THOMAS

  Mallory leaves and I slam my fist into the bed. It was like Alexandria all over again; I felt betrayed. How could she invade my privacy like that? I thought I could trust her. I decide to call Melanie and ask if I can come over. Yeah, she wasn’t the first person on my list of spending my day off with. She was the only one who knew the truth about Mallory and I and I was dying to talk to someone about it. Ever since that night at her apartment I’d been having a hard time being around her. There was something off about us and this was just the final straw. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t trust me, and who I didn’t trust.

  Some days I just wanted to spend all my time with her, it was simple, but the more I thought about it I thought we were moving too fast. It was like I wanted to take big steps with her but then anytime I did, it was scary as hell.

  Melanie tells me to come over so I get in my car and drive the 45 minutes to her house. It’s closer to our parent’s house than I am, but I needed a place closer to work. Plus, she was basing her life on school districts and babysitters. Her husband, Aiden answers the door before I knock. Melanie’s sitting on the couch eating and I remind myself not to make a sassy comment since she’s helping me.

  “So what did your little girlfriend do? That is why you’re here right?” She looks at me expectantly.

  “Yeah,” I sigh. Aiden leaves us alone to talk.

  “Well, what happened?”

  “She found the engagement ring I was giving to Alexandria,” I sigh.

  “I still don’t know why you did. She was clearly more into my wedding photographer than you.”

  “Thanks for that.” I glare. Maybe coming here was a mistake, I might as well tell someone else at this point now that Mallory and I were over.

  “I’m being honest, you deserve better. Mallory seemed like that. I just don’t understand, she found a ring and broke up with you?”

  “No, I broke things off with her.”

  “Ohhh, that makes sense then.” She nods.

  “Because she’s untrustworthy right?”

  “No, because you’re an idiot who just got his heart stomped on and you’re having trouble trusting again.”

  “What?” That wasn’t it at all.

  “Alexandria broke your heart, now you find a girl who’s literally perfect for you and instead of taking it slow and not using her as a rebound, you find reasons for it not to work. You don’t tell anyone, you make her keep it from her best friend so if it doesn’t work out it won’t hurt as much. Let me just ask you now, it still hurts doesn’t it?”

  “I hate you.” I grumble clenching my jaw.

  “No, you don’t. Maybe you hate my psychology degree though.” She chuckles.

  “What the hell do I do?” I hated that she was right. And how much of a mess I had made things.

  “Take some time and work on yourself. You just got out of a long-term thing where you almost got married. That takes more time than you gave it. I’m not saying don’t see her, but at least be open to communicating with her. You can’t keep shutting her out.” She says and I frown.

  “Okay,” I nod. “What if she won’t speak to me again?”

  “You’re as dumb as you look. That girl is in love with you, dumbass. No way is she going anywhere, but that doesn’t mean you get to string her along either.” She shoots me a tough look and I nod.

  The sight of her walking out of my apartment flashes before me. I can’t believe I kicked her out for finding out a secret I was keeping. I just felt like an asshole for how I handled everything with the engagement. I didn’t want Mallory to ever see that side of me. She deserved better than that.

  “If you’re going to stay can you get me more chips?” Melanie hands me a bowl and I chuckle.

  “Sure,” I head to the kitchen and dial Mallory’s number. It is late but I hope she’ll answer. When she doesn’t, I don’t leave a message or anything. Maybe she needed more time too.

  I bring Melanie a bag of Doritos and a glass of water per Aiden’s request. Something about her not having too much salt. He was a good guy. I didn’t know too much about him but from what I saw I knew he really loved my sister. If she could find love, maybe there was hope for me yet.

  I’m standing on Alexandria’s front steps, looking for the mailbox in the dark. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea but I can't risk running into her and what is my other option, waiting outside her house until she left? I feel like mailboxes shouldn’t be this concealed. Why did it get dark so early, anyway? It is barely after six.

  CRACK!

  “Fuck,” I mumble. My shoe bumped into something and with the lightest touch, crumbled it. Surely if Alexandria is inside, she’d have heard it.

  “Hello? Is someone there?” All the memories come flooding back. The door opens and there she is, dressed in a robe and slippers. Clearly I should’ve done this at a more reasonable hour.

  “Hi Alexandria,” I smile sheepishly.

  “Thomas? What are you doing here?” Her tone changes as I step out of the shadows.

  “Babe? Who is it?” I hear a second voice call. That must be Eden. Was she already staying here?

  “I just wanted to drop this off, but I couldn’t find your mailbox.” I say sheepishly holding up the letter. She uncrosses her arms and holds out a hand.

  “What is it?” she takes it but doesn’t open it.

  “I wanted to apologize for everything. With our ending, you were right I did not mean us just to be and I shouldn’t have been pushing it so hard.”

  “Treat her the way you treated me in the beginning. I’m sorry too,” her girlfriend, Eden appears behind her. Alexandria actually cracks a smile. I guess I was predictable.

  “Thomas?” Her expression goes from angry to confused and back to angry.

  “He was just leaving, goodbye Thomas.” She smiles and I feel better, grateful. But no longer love. No longer angry.

  “Thank you,” I nod and turn to go. It didn’t even hurt to see them together as it once had. I truly wanted Alexandria to be as happy as I am with Mallory. Well, as happy as I was.

  I knew Melanie was right; I had things holding me back but no longer would that be Alexandria and I was determined to prove that to Mallory. No Matter what it took.

  The next two weeks go by in a blur, I miss Mallory like crazy but she never called me back so I figure, at least for now, she wants some space. I try to respect that. Mainly that involves not being anywhere we were together because the memory is too much for me. I’m on the way to a new bar when my phone rings. The last thing I want to do is talk to anyone, but I figure it won’t hurt to see who it is. Charlie’s name appears on the dash of the truck and I figure I should answer it. She was more of a texting sister; I didn’t get too many calls from her.

  “Charlie, what’s up?” I ask syncing to the bluetooth in the car.

  “Thomas, where are you?” She sounds panicked.

  “Uh, driving to the bar. Why?”

  “Oh, thank goodness. You need to go to Mallory’s office, right now.” Her voice sounds urgent, but I was weary.

  “Is this some kind of attempt at a ploy to get us together? Because I don’t like games Charlie.”

  “I think someone’s attacking her. She called me in distress and no matter how many times I call back she won’t pick up. Get over there now!” Charlie screams and my grip on the wheel tightens. I flip the truck around, not caring how fast I’m driving. Let them give me a ticket and see if I care. My girl needs me and I would not let anything happen to her.

  MALLORY

  It’s been two weeks, one day, and eight hours since I’ve spoken to Thomas. Not that I’m counting. Who the hell am I kidding? Of course I am. It’s been terrible every day since, I’m like a teenager chained to my phone hoping he’ll call. Today officially makes me pathetic by Dee’s standards. She says you’re supposed to give the guy 3 days to call, if they don’t you give yourself 2 weeks to get over it. I would not tell her what happened but when she asked if he was coming with us to thirsty Thursday and I started crying it was kind of tell.

  “You gotta get yourself back out there!” Dee gives me a look that tells me she doesn’t just mean going on a date. But the last thing I can imagine is dating anyone else, let alone sleeping with another man.

  “There’s no way.” I shake my head. “What about you?”

  “Funny you say that, there’s a special someone meeting us tonight.” She actually blushes and I realize this person must be pretty special for her to bring them around.

  “Okay, I see your ploy, this is just to get me to come out tonight.” I joke.