“Right,” Mav mumbles into his beer before tipping it back, and I do the same with mine, knowing it’s pointless to even broach the subject of feelings and emotions with Blake. He would rather pull out his nails one by one than admit he’s jealous, which I know he is.

  Cammy is probably the only woman who could ever take his attention away from work, and I’m guessing that’s the problem. The issue with that is that she’s pretty, educated, and too smart to wait for him to realize there’s more to life than making money. Case in point—her man getting ready to put a ring on her finger.

  “When is Cybil heading home?” Mav asks, and even knowing the question is meant to change the subject, my jaw clenches on the word home, and my chest feels funny at the mention of her leaving. Two things that don’t bode well for me when the time does come for her to go back to Oregon.

  “We haven’t talked about it.”

  “We have a new set of clients coming in next week.” Blake takes a seat on one of the folding lawn chairs stacked against the wall. “Mav is scheduled to take them out, so I’ll need you to help me with the runs and office shit.”

  “Do you think I somehow forgot how shit has gone for the last two years and suddenly need you to remind me of what my job is?”

  “You’ve been distracted, so maybe.”

  “Christ, Mason’s right. You are in a shit mood. But you know me, brother, and you know I’m not the one. You wanna act like a dick, then you can take that shit somewhere else. That or you can grow a pair and actually deal with whatever it is that’s got you fucked up,” I say, and his teeth grind.

  He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but then he shuts it, and I know why a second later when the door behind me opens and the girls come out.

  “I really hope you four were able to start the grill, because I’m starving,” Margret says, then stops and looks around. “What happened, and why do you two look ready to kill each other?” She motions between Blake and me.

  “Guy stuff,” Mason says as he takes the tray Cammy’s carrying and places it next to the barbecue.

  “Well, cheer up,” she orders, “because I can’t drink myself into a state of ‘I don’t give a fuck,’ and I really have no desire to spend the night watching you two glare at each other.” Mason laughs while Cybil drops a plate with steaks on it next to the grill before she comes over and tucks herself under my arm.

  “We’re all good,” Blake tells her, getting up from the chair he was in and motioning for her to sit. “And you really do need to stop cursing so much all the time.”

  “Don’t even start on that again.” Margret rolls her eyes at him as she falls into his seat, rubbing her belly. “I don’t curse that much, and the little miss can’t make out anything I say right now.”

  “You curse more than your brother,” Mav tells her, and she flips him the bird. He grins at her, shaking his head.

  “The problem is I shouldn’t have let you hang with me and my friends all the time when we were kids,” Blake mutters while unfolding a few more chairs.

  “They weren’t your friends; they were mine.” She smirks at him. “Or at least they all liked me more than they liked you.”

  “Smart-ass.” He smiles for the first time since he got here, which makes me relax slightly.

  “Someone’s phone is ringing,” Cammy says, and Cybil looks up at me.

  “I think that’s me. I’ll be right back.”

  Once she’s inside, I take a seat in one of the chairs and raise a brow at Margret when I find her watching me. “What?”

  “I love her, like . . . love her, love her. You’d better not mess this up.”

  “I wasn’t planning on it,” I say as the door behind me opens, and I turn to watch Cybil come out. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, it was the girl who runs my website. She just wanted to give me a heads-up about a glitch on my site that might mean I receive some weird emails until she gets it sorted.”

  “Got it.” I drag her down to sit on my lap, and instead of trying to move, she gets comfortable. As the mood lightens and everyone including her falls into the ease there’s always been with our group, I hold her a little tighter, wondering how the fuck I’m going to be able to let her go and starting to doubt I’ll be able to at all.

  Chapter 18

  CYBIL

  I stand under Tanner’s arm and wave as Mav, Blake, Cammy, Margret, and Mason head off down the lane. It was a great night, even with the ever-present undercurrent of tension that seemed to fill the air. As Tanner leads me back into the house and shuts the door, I open my mouth to tell him that I like his friends but end up squeaking when he turns me to face him and presses me against the wall in the entryway.

  “Time to finish what we started earlier.” He grins at me before dropping his mouth down to mine. I don’t hesitate to kiss him back; then it’s a race to get each other undressed as we make out, our hands roaming over each other as we pass the living room and kitchen and head down the hall. When we reach the bedroom, Tanner pushes me back onto the bed, where I land with a bounce.

  “Hand above your head, sunshine, and don’t move it,” he orders, and I instantly comply as he crawls up the bed and kneels between my legs. Startling me, he spreads my legs wide, then uses his fingers to hold me open and ducks his head to suck on my clit. Never having experienced anything like this in my life, I don’t know if I should push him away or beg him to never stop. But as the sensation of bliss hits me, I hold on to his hair with one hand, making sure to keep my damaged hand above my head where he told me to keep it, not wanting to give him any reason to stop what he’s doing. A task that is almost impossible as my toes curl and my insides turn liquid.

  “Tanner.” His name comes out on a moan as his tongue circles my clit and his fingers pump in and out of me in a rhythm that is maddening. As I lift my hips to get closer, to get more, my head bows off the bed and my core begins to clench. I thought I knew what an orgasm was, but standing in his bathroom earlier, he showed me I was wrong, and now he’s proving that what I felt earlier wasn’t some kind of fluke: a buildup of sexual frustration that meant I came harder than I ever had before within minutes, if not seconds, of him touching me.

  “Oh God,” I whimper as his lips wrap around my clit and he sucks. Tapping that hidden spot, he sends me into a tailspin. My breath catches, stars start to dance behind my closed eyelids, and my body seems to vibrate from the inside out. Dizzy and panting for breath, I fall flat on the bed and cover my face with my hands as I fight the urge to laugh and cry at the same time.

  “You did good, sunshine.” I feel his smile against my belly button before his lips trail up my stomach, then between my breasts. When his knee bumps my legs farther apart and he makes room for himself between my thighs, I remove my hands and stare into his beautiful eyes that are dark with lust and warm with some emotion that makes me feel hot all over. “Cybil.”

  “Yeah?” I place my hand on his bare shoulder, lift my leg up over his hip, and use it to pull him closer.

  “You okay?” he asks gruffly, sweeping my hair off my forehead.

  “Better than okay,” I admit truthfully. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more connected to another person, and that should scare me, given how long we’ve known each other, but it doesn’t freak me out. Not anymore. Now it just feels like this is how it’s supposed to be.

  “Are you okay?” My breath hitches when I feel the head of his cock bump against my entrance.

  “I’m with you, your taste is on my tongue, you’re naked in my bed, and it’s too late for visitors. So, yeah, I’m good.” He brushes his smiling lips across mine before he deepens the kiss and cups my breast, pinching my nipple and causing a zip of heat to spread between my legs.

  Pulling my mouth from his, I reach between us and wrap my hand around his length. “I need you.”

  “You have me, all of me.” He bends, which means I lose my hold on him but gain his mouth on my breast and his thumb on my clit. I thread my fingers through his hair, arch my back, and wrap my legs around his hips when he moves to my neglected breast. Not sure how much more I can take, not when I’m on edge once again, I tug his hair until he lets go, leaning up enough to place my mouth against his. But I only get it for a second before his hand reaches over to a drawer next to the bed and comes out a moment later with a condom.

  As he leans back and rips the black packet open with his teeth, I trail my hand down his torso, fascinated by how he can be so smooth and hard everywhere at the same time. I watch in complete fascination as his muscles bunch under his smooth skin when he slides the condom down his length. When he has the condom on, his body forces mine back onto the bed, right before his hand wraps around my hip and his mouth catches mine. Lost in the weight of his body, the smell of his skin, and the deepness of his kiss, I whimper as his hand slides between us and dig my nails into his flesh as he begins to enter me in a smooth stroke. Full, so full, his body stills, and he pulls back just far enough to rest his forehead against mine while his eyes squeeze tight.

  “Tanner.” I wrap my hand around the side of his neck, and his eyes open as his ragged breath brushes my lips.

  “Give me a minute, baby,” he says, and I lift my hips, listening to him groan right before his fingers dig into my thigh. “I’m really trying not to lose myself, but you’re hot, and tight, and you, which means if you move, there’s no guarantee this won’t be finished before it’s even started.”

  “Sorry.” I bite my bottom lip and will myself to stay still, not sure I’ll be able to—not for very long, at least, and the fact that he wants me so much is making me powerful. I’ve never had anyone crave me the way he does, and it makes it all the more clear that what Galvin and I shared wasn’t what it should have been. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait long, because he pulls out slowly, then slides back in, the sensation causing the muscles in my lower belly to tighten and my core to pulse. It shouldn’t be possible to orgasm from just this, from just having him inside me, but just like that, I’m close once again.

  “Cybil.” My name sounds like a curse right before his mouth crashes down on mine, and his tongue slips between my lips. I kiss him back, willing my body to keep from flying over the edge as his thrusts speed up, his hips pounding into mine.

  My legs wrap around his waist, and I dig my fingers into his ribs as his mouth leaves mine and travels, nipping and licking down my neck until he reaches my breast, where he pulls my nipple into his mouth. He sucks hard, causing my core to tighten almost painfully as I fight off my orgasm.

  “Let go, Cybil,” he orders, and I shake my head, not ready to lose the feelings coursing through me—not yet, not when it feels like I’ve waited my whole life for this moment. “Yes.” His hand slides between us, his teeth nipping my chin then bottom lip before he kisses me once more.

  Completely overwhelmed, I let go without a choice and cry out his name while he growls mine, his hips jerking once, then twice, before he stills deep inside me. With my heart pounding and feeling his beating just as hard against my breast, I pant for breath and wrap my arms around him, accepting his weight as he collapses on top of me. Tears fill my eyes as my body continues to pulse, but I fight them back, not wanting to have to explain why I’m crying, when I don’t even know.

  “You know”—he pulls back after a moment and locks his gaze on mine—“I keep waiting for something, anything to show me that this—you and I—are not going to work, but I don’t think it’s going to happen,” he says gently, making my stomach bottom out as his eyes roam my face. “We’re gonna need to talk about what happens after you go back to Oregon.” His fingers smooth down my jaw before they trace the lower edge of my lip. “Not right now.” He covers my lips with his finger when I open my mouth to ask what he wants. “Not now, but before our time is up, we’ll figure out what we’re going to do. Because I’m going to want to see you for more than a week every few months. A whole lot more than that.”

  “Okay, we’ll talk about it and figure it out.” I move my hand to his chest, over his heart, wondering if his hurts like mine does right now at the thought of me leaving. I want to say I’d stay if he asked me to, but the truth is my whole life is somewhere else. My friends, family, and everything I’ve ever known are in Oregon, but I’m starting to see that there’s more to life than my small town. And a good thing is I can work from anywhere, which makes this situation a little less complicated.

  “How about a bath?” He runs his nose across mine.

  “I don’t think I’ve taken a bath since I was a kid,” I say, and without a word, he slowly pulls out of me, then pushes off the bed and reaches out for my hand.

  When we get into the bathroom, he lets me go just long enough to deal with the condom. Then he turns on the tub that looks like it could fit three people comfortably and dumps in a glob of something from a blue bottle under the faucet. As the smell of mint fills the room, he lifts me off my feet and places my naked bottom on the counter, making my breath hitch.

  “Sorry, just wanna get you wrapped up.” He takes my hand and deftly puts on one of the plastic gloves he stole from the hospital and tapes around my wrist. “All done.” He lifts me down. “I’ll be back.”

  When he leaves, I get into the bath and am covered under a layer of bubbles when he comes back holding something that makes me smile. “Are you going to read?” I motion to my book in his hand.

  “Yep.”

  I somehow manage to keep my eyes on his face, even as he walks toward the tub; then I scoot forward when he motions me to, and he gets in behind me, placing his legs on the outside of mine.

  “Good?” he asks, wrapping his arm across my upper chest, urging me to lean back against him.

  “Yeah,” I reply, and he opens the book to the page he left off on. As he reads, I close my eyes and relax against him completely, the sound of his voice and the hot water washing away the stress of today.

  “Cybil,” he calls after a long while, and I turn to look at him over my shoulder.

  “Yeah?”

  “I thought you fell asleep.” He sets the book down on the side of the tub.

  “Just relaxed.” I roll so I’m resting on my stomach, which places his rock-hard cock right between my breasts.

  “Come here.” He drags me up his body until I’m straddling him. “How’s your hand?” he asks—or I’m pretty sure that’s what he asked. It’s hard to tell with the sound of my heart pumping in my ears as the feel of him between my legs makes me dizzy.

  “Fine,” I breathe as he leans up and bites my earlobe before dragging it through his teeth, causing me to roll my hips in response. As his hand latches around my waist, I reach between us, and the moment he’s in position, I don’t hesitate, sinking down onto his length. “Yesss.” I drop my forehead to rest against his. Not only is he thick, but he’s also long, making me feel impossibly full in this position.

  “Are you okay?” The question is strained.

  “Yes.” I nod, and both his hands move to my waist so he can lift me up and urge me back down. As he picks up speed and I fall into sync with him, water sloshes over the side of the tub. I lean back, and as one of his hands moves to cup my breast, the look on his face almost sends me over the edge. I didn’t grow up questioning my appearance, but I’ve never had anyone look at me the way he does.

  “Fuck, you really are perfect, sunshine. So fucking beautiful.” He urges me down harder. “Touch yourself.” Slowly, I move my hand over my breast, then down my stomach and between my legs. The moment I circle my clit that is still sensitive from my earlier orgasms, my inner walls tighten, and he curses, “Don’t fucking stop.”

  “Tanner.”

  “I’m right here, baby.” His hand around my hip urges me to move faster and harder, which sends him deeper and deeper; then his mouth latches onto my breast.

  When his tongue lashes against my nipple and his teeth nip the sensitive flesh, blinding white heat spreads through my body and my core in spasms, sending me closer to the edge. Lost in the sensation of him, heat begins to pool in my lower belly, and I know I won’t be able to hold off for long. It’s too much; it’s all too much.

  “Let go, sunshine.” He drags my mouth down to his, and his tongue thrusts between my lips. The taste of him sinks into my senses, and I lose the ability to hold back, no matter how much I don’t want this to end. I fall over the edge, whimpering his name as I shove my face into his neck and hold on to him with every piece of me, feeling him jerk and his grip on me tighten.

  “I don’t think I’m going to be able to let you go.”

  His softly spoken confession has the tears I felt earlier crawling up my throat, only this time, I don’t fight them. I let them go as I give him a piece of my heart he doesn’t even know he has.

  Sitting on the back deck, with the morning sun sparkling through the trees and the sound of nature alive in the forest just outside the screened-in porch, I take a sip of coffee as I watch Tanner do push-ups.

  “Do you work out every day?” I tuck my feet under me and pull down his T-shirt I stole from him, so at least my ass is covered.

  “Most days.”

  “I should work out with you,” I say absently, watching his elbows bend and his biceps flex.

  “I wouldn’t mind giving you a workout.” He stops with his arms straight in a plank position and moves his eyes over my bare legs, my breasts, and face, the heat in his look causing my nipples to pebble and wetness to spread between my legs. Really, it should be impossible for me to be turned on after the night and morning we had, but there you go. One look and a few words from him and I’m ready all over again. After experiencing sex with Tanner, I now know what I was missing; sex with Galvin was routine at best, probably because he wasn’t into it and I had no idea what I was doing or what I was missing out on.

  “Don’t turn me on when I need sustenance.”

  “I’ll feed you after I work out.” He gives me a grin before he goes back to doing push-ups. “Then I’ll eat you after we have breakfast.”