Bernard is still angry on my behalf, but I’m sure he’ll get over it.

  “Have a good visit.” I duck around Chris, pulling Tanner with me out of the elevator.

  When the doors close behind us, I wonder if we’ll ever get back to a place where we can be friends, where he doesn’t feel like a complete stranger. Something tells me the answer to that question is no, not with the history between us, and that is possibly more upsetting than anything else, because I do miss him. Or I miss his friendship, even after what he did.

  Sitting outside on the floating deck next to my trailer, the stars twinkling above us and the moon out in all its glory, I pick up my iced tea to take a sip. Today was another busy day. It took Jade, Tanner, and me four hours to get things sorted in my shop and the orders that had backed up while I was away packaged up to be sent out. When we were finished, I mailed everything off; then we picked up lunch and went back to the hospital. Maisie was pretty tired, so after we ate lunch with Bernard, we left and went to the grocery store to get the stuff for dinner. By the time we got home, Earl was pulling in, so while Jade and I made a salad and sautéed potatoes, Tanner and Earl started up the grill.

  Now, with my feet tucked under me in my chair and my belly full, I watch Tanner smile as he talks about the lodge, Maverick, Blake, and his family. I know logically I shouldn’t feel guilty about his decision to sell because it’s his choice, but I still do. It’s obvious to anyone listening to him that he loves his job and his family in Montana, even with whatever’s gone down.

  “When do you have to go back?” Jade asks him, and I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer, because he hasn’t talked to me about leaving or staying. He hasn’t talked to me about anything.

  “Not sure yet.” He looks at Earl, and I wonder if he opened up to him or asked him about finding work here.

  “You don’t have to get back to work?” Jade says with a frown, and I swear I want to kick my best friend when Tanner’s jaw twitches.

  “I’m here as long as Cybil needs me. We’ll figure things out after that.”

  “How are you two going to make this work? I mean, you live there, and Cybil lives here.”

  “Jade,” I snap, and her eyes come to me. “Stop.”

  “I was just wondering.”

  “I know, and as soon as Tanner and I figure things out, you’ll know our plans.”

  “Fine.” She pushes back from the table and stands. “I should probably go. With Mom not wanting me hanging around the hospital, I’m going to open the store tomorrow.”

  “Sure.” I get up and give her a hug, ignoring the fact that she’s mad at me for not letting her interrogate Tanner. As much as I love her, it’s not her place. “Call me tomorrow and let me know when you’re going to the hospital, and I’ll go with you or meet you there.”

  “All right.” She stoops to kiss Earl’s cheek, then waves at Tanner before heading for her car.

  “She’s just protective of you,” Earl says, and I pull my eyes off Jade’s car as she drives down my lane and focus on him. “And my guess is she’s scared you’re going to move away.”

  “I know.” I sigh, watching him get up.

  “Do you want me to help you clean up?”

  “No, there isn’t much to do,” I assure him, and he comes over to give me a hug, then pats Tanner’s shoulder before wandering to his truck and getting in. When he drives off, I look at Tanner and wait for him to say something—anything—but he doesn’t.

  Annoyed, or maybe hurt by his lack of communication, I pick up the glasses on the table and take them inside, then start to go back out to get the rest of the dishes, but Tanner walks in with them. “Thanks.” I take them from him and put everything into the dishwasher while he stands with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the counter.

  “Cybil.”

  “Yeah?” I wait for him to say something, but instead, he shakes his head.

  “Nothing, never mind.”

  “Right.” I grab a couple of Tylenols for the headache I feel coming on and swallow them down, with Tanner watching me. “I think I’m going to head to bed early and maybe watch some TV.”

  “I’ll meet you in there in a bit. I’m gonna make a couple of phone calls,” he says, and I nod, then go down the hall to my room, where I change into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top, brush my teeth, and get into bed.

  With the TV on, I lie in the dark, trying to figure out what to do. I feel like this whole thing with him and his job is hanging over our relationship, and with him not wanting to talk to me about it, I can only assume I’m somehow responsible for what went down.

  “Screw this.” I toss back the covers and get out of bed, deciding that one way or another, I’m going to get him to open up. After grabbing my sweater, I open the door and start to head down the hall but stop when I hear him talking to someone.

  “You think I like this any more than you, man? Fuck! You of all people know that starting Live Life was a dream for me, but I won’t choose between Cybil and that.” He pauses as I get closer, and I know I should make my presence known, but my mouth has gone dry. “I don’t give a fuck. That’s on him; that’s not on me. He needs to get his shit together.” Another long pause. “Right, well, let me know what the lawyer says, and we’ll talk after that. Later, brother.” He hangs up and turns toward me, putting his cell phone into his pocket.

  As his haunted gaze meets mine, my stomach rolls and my legs start to feel weak. “You’re selling because of me.” I knew that, or I thought I did, but having it confirmed feels like a knife to the gut.

  “Not just you.”

  “Really?” I tip my head to the side while wrapping my arms around my waist. “So if we didn’t meet, you were planning on offering up your portion to Blake and Maverick?”

  “No.”

  His simple answers to my questions make me want to shake him.

  “So, what is it? Are you selling because of me, or because you decided that it’s no longer your dream and you now want to be on the first trip to Mars?”

  “Don’t be a smart-ass, Cybil.”

  “Don’t be a liar, Tanner.” I shake my head, realizing everything that’s against us and all he would be giving up because of me. I know he might think he’s made the right decision now, but in a week, a month, or a few years, he’s going to end up resenting me. I just can’t stand the thought of that. I mean, look what happened with Galvin, who was living a lie and dragging me along for a ride I didn’t know I was on. And in the end I was the one who got hurt. “I can’t do this.”

  “What?” He takes a step toward me, and I hold up my hand to ward him off.

  “I mean, I can’t do this. I don’t know what I was thinking, or maybe I wasn’t thinking.” I want to shove the words back in my mouth as soon as they’re out, but I need to end this before it’s too late, before he throws away everything he’s worked for, and before I fall any deeper in love with him. Shit, I love him—the realization makes my chest hurt and the lie I spit out taste bitter. “We don’t work. This”—I motion between us—“is never going to work.”

  “Don’t do this, Cybil,” he bites out, and I swallow.

  “You know I’m right.”

  “What I know is that you think you’re protecting me, when you’re not. You’re just pissing me off.”

  “No, I’m being realistic,” I say quietly, ignoring the fact that my throat is starting to burn. “You need to go back to Montana, and I need to get back to my life here.”

  “All right.” He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back like he’s settling in. “If you’re set on doing this, I want you to give me one good reason why I should walk away.”

  I stare at him, my mind scrambling for something, anything, but it’s difficult, especially when I thought he would just leave.

  “I’m waiting.”

  “You eat meat,” I blurt out, the first thing that comes to mind, and he laughs.

  No, he doesn’t just laugh. His head falls back on his shoulders and he roars his amusement.

  “This is not funny.”

  “Yes, it is.” He shakes his head, still chuckling. “Okay, so what else?”

  What else? There’s nothing else, and that was hard enough to come up with. “You said one thing.”

  “Your one thing was lame, so unless you can come up with something else, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Why are you making this so difficult?” I stomp my foot like I’m a three-year-old not getting her way, and he grins.

  “Because what we have is worth it, and I know you’ll end up regretting ending things about five minutes after I walk out the door, because you’re in love with me.”

  I gasp and take a step back. “I don’t love you.”

  “You’re really on a roll tonight. First, you try to break up with me, then you lie to my face.” He makes a tsk-tsk sound while shaking his finger back and forth. “You love me, Cybil, and just because you’re not willing to admit it out loud doesn’t make it any less true.” His arms fall to his sides, and he steps toward me. “We’re not breaking up, and I’m not going anywhere unless you’re going with me.”

  “Tanner.” Tears cloud my vision as he wraps his hand around the side of my neck, the other around my hip. “You . . .” I swallow hard. “You giving up your dream because of me is too heavy a weight for me to carry around on my shoulders, especially when we hardly know each other.”

  “Sunshine, if I don’t have you, none of the other shit will even matter, and yeah, we are still getting to know each other, but time isn’t going to change how I feel about you,” he says gently, urging me closer until my body is pressed against his. “I love that you want to protect me, but I know what I want and what I need.” Both his hands grasp my face as he cups my jaw. “We have enough to deal with, and a lot of shit to figure out, so let’s not make things more complicated than they already are by fighting.”

  “I need you to talk to me about stuff. If this is going to work, we need to be honest with each other, even when it’s stuff we don’t want to talk about.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Okay,” I say quietly, and he leans down, pressing his lips to mine in a soft, sweet kiss. When he pulls back, he studies me for a long moment, then rests his forehead against mine.

  “I love you, sunshine.”

  My breath catches while my hands latch onto the front of his shirt.

  “I know a lot has happened. I know this is all new, but everything’s going to be all right as long as we trust each other,” he tells me gently.

  “I just don’t want you to end up hating me,” I admit, dropping my eyes from his.

  “Look at me, Cybil,” he urges, using his thumbs to lift my chin. “I’m not going to hate you, and shit with Blake has been brewing for a while, and that shit has nothing to do with you.”

  “What does that mean?” I wait, expecting him to blow off my question or to distract me like he’s done before, so I’m shocked when he doesn’t.

  “He thinks working himself to death will earn his dad’s respect.” His jaw clenches. “He doesn’t realize the reason his dad is pissed at him all the time isn’t because he’s not good enough but because he’s disappointed Blake’s forgotten what’s actually important in life.” He lets out a deep breath.

  “Over the last couple of years, things with him have gotten progressively worse. He’s forgotten what we fought for while we were in the military and why we built Live Life to begin with. We didn’t do it for the money. We did it because we wanted to make a difference. We wanted to help people realize their potential, to show them how strong they are, and to build bonds like the one we share.” His voice drops. “We wanted to do something that made us feel like we were still giving back. He might have forgotten that, but I haven’t, and neither has Maverick.”

  Hearing that, I want to shake Blake myself. “Have you talked to him? I mean, I know it’s not exactly normal protocol for men to use more than a few words at a time.” He smirks as I add, “But have you ever told him how you feel?”

  “Not in so many words.” He laughs when I roll my eyes. “Besides, it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here. Your family and friends are here, and I know you won’t want to move.”

  “You know that, do you?” I raise a brow.

  “You wanna move to Montana?” he asks, and my heart starts to speed up. The idea of leaving Jade, Maisie, and Bernard makes me feel slightly nauseous, but the truth is I would move to be with him.

  “No,” I say, and he tries to hide his disappointment. “Not right now with everything that happened to Maisie, but once I know she’s going to be okay, yes. Absolutely.”

  “Really?”

  “I love your house.”

  “And?”

  “And what?” I frown.

  “And I love you.”

  “Thanks.” I press my lips together to keep from laughing, then scream and take off in a run, shrieking as he chases me down the hall and into my room.

  “Trapped with nowhere to go.” He closes the door and stands in front of it. “I’m not letting you leave this room until I hear you say ‘I love you, Tanner.’” He stalks toward me, then catches me around the waist when I attempt to get across the bed.

  “Tanner,” I breathe as his weight settles between my legs.

  “Yeah, sunshine?” His lips brush mine.

  “Never mind,” I gasp as he kisses me.

  And sometime later, after he’s pushed me to the edge and fallen over with me, I wrap my arms around him and whisper “I love you” against his ear, thankful he didn’t let me give up on us.

  Chapter 22

  TANNER

  With Cybil still asleep after I’ve taken a shower, I quietly leave the bedroom, head down the hall to the kitchen, and flip on the coffeepot before going to the living room to turn on the news. I start to take a seat on the couch, but my cell phone buzzes on the counter. I grab it and see a text from Blake, asking me to call him.

  After Cybil tried to break up with me last night because of this situation with him, I’m not feeling very amicable, but at the end of the day, he’s still my brother. Not sure how this call will go, I take my phone with me outside in case I lose my shit like I have the last couple of times we’ve spoken. I clear the last step, head across the grass to the floating deck that’s kitty-corner to the edge of the trailer, and take a seat at the table situated near the gas grill. After dialing Blake back, I listen to the phone ring.

  “Hey,” he answers, sounding out of breath, and I remember that supplies were scheduled to be delivered this morning, so he’s probably at the lodge, unloading the truck.

  “I got your text. What’s up?”

  “I’m sorry.” I’m caught off guard, and my fingers curl around my cell. “I fucked up. I shouldn’t have . . . fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything to you, especially in regard to Cybil. And I really shouldn’t have been a dick when you took off to be with her after her mom had a heart attack,” he says, and I don’t correct him about Maisie being her mom, since she is Cybil’s mother figure, even if she doesn’t call her Mom. “I just . . . shit. Everything between you and her happened so fast; then you took off, and I didn’t take it well.”

  “You know I love you like a brother, man, but I’m done with the bullshit. I’m not going to live my life waiting for the next time you slip up and say some shit that will piss me off. Especially when your anger has nothing to do with me, or Mav, or the business. I also do not need to explain my relationship to you or justify why I’m leaving or need time off. I don’t work for you. I work with you, and as my friend, you should want me to be happy.”

  “You’re right. You’re a hundred percent right.” He gives in immediately, and I wonder what the fuck is going on.

  “Why are you having a change of attitude about this now?”

  “Let’s just say I’ve had everyone up in my face for the last few days, pointing out how I fucked up and letting me know I need to fix shit or they’re done with me.”

  “You deserve that.”

  “I know,” he agrees quietly, then sighs. “I don’t want to buy you out, and I don’t want to lose you, man—come back.”

  “I don’t know. You’re going to have to give me a couple of days to think about things.”

  “All right. Before you hang up, how’s Cybil doing? Is she hanging in there?”

  “She’s good. She’ll be happy we spoke about shit.”

  “Yeah, so will Mom. She’s been on my case since the day you and Cybil took off and I lost my shit.”

  “She’s been on your case for a lot longer than that.”

  “You’re not wrong,” he mutters. “Call when you decide, but whatever happens, just know we’re still family—that’s never going to change.”

  “Yeah.” My stomach muscles tighten. “We’ll talk soon.” I hang up and drop my head back to my shoulders.

  After that phone call and Cybil saying last night that she loved my house and would be willing to move to Montana, everything is back up in the air. I thought I had shit figured out, had already mentally started making plans for making this place a little more comfortable, and had put out some feelers to see about opening my own guide business in the area.

  “You look deep in thought.” Cybil’s words bring me out of my head, and I turn her way and watch her walk across the grass, looking too beautiful in the early-morning light. Her hair’s a mess, and the long sweater she has wrapped around her barely hides the fact that she’s only wearing a tank top and panties.

  “I just got off the phone with Blake,” I tell her, reaching for her hand and pulling her down to sit sideways on my lap. “He called to apologize for being a dick.”

  “That’s good.” Her eyes study mine as her fingers skim along my jaw, then over my bottom lip.

  “It is.” I grab hold of her wrist and kiss her fingers before holding her hand against my chest, over my heart. “But after talking to him, you and I need to decide what we’re going to do.”