“Look who’s talking, you dirty old man.” Laura slapped him with the letter and placed it back in her backpack.

  “I’m very happy you found your family.” Jerry took the last piece of luggage from Andy and stacked it on the others. He’d take it down below before they got underway but, for now, he admired the stack he’d built in the yacht’s main cabin.

  “What about you, Captain Mike?” she asked with a giggle at the title, and tossed him a little salute. “Do you have any family?”

  Before Jerry could answer, her husband snapped at her, “Laura.”

  “What?” She looked hurt. “I can’t ask about his family?”

  It was a strange question to hear. One that had disappeared from polite conversation not long after the world blew up—mostly because the most common response to the question was gentle sobbing. But, as sweet as she was, the older woman didn’t really seem all there to begin with. She smiled at him and awaited his response.

  Jerry smiled back. “No. No family. Just me and Blue here.” He waved a hand at the sleeping dog and slapped a hand on the cabin wall. “And the Boomer, of course. She’s basically family now.”

  “Is this the Boomer?” a voice called from the dock.

  “It is,” Jerry said as he steadied the last of the older couple’s luggage.

  “Are you Mike?”

  “I am.” He turned and found himself nose to wet nose with a giant dog. It made eye contact with him, sniffed twice and woofed so deep that Jerry felt it in his chest more than he heard it.

  Just beyond the big wet nose was the woman asking the questions. She was much prettier than the giant dog. A smaller hound stood next to her with its tail flinging back and forth like an overwound metronome.

  “I believe we’re booked through to Cairo,” she said. “Eve plus 2?”

  He pointed at the Great Dane and the beagle by her side. “Are these the plus 2?”

  “Is that a problem?” she asked.

  Jerry shook his head. “Doesn’t bother me. Let me check with my crew.”

  He called to the sleeping dog in the middle of the deck. “Blue!”

  The mastiff snorted as it sat up and looked up at him.

  “Is this going to be a problem?” He pointed at the big dog in front of him.

  The mastiff cast a quick glance at the two dogs, woofed and went back to sleep.

  Jerry shrugged. “I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.”

  The woman stepped from the dock onto the Boomer, and her dogs followed. The Great Dane and the beagle made a straight line to the snoozing mastiff. There was mutual sniffing, and then all three dogs found a spot in the sun and collapsed.

  “What are your dogs’ names?” Laura asked after quickly introducing herself and her husband. “They’re adorable.”

  Eve thanked her and said, “The big one is Sasquatch and⁠—”

  The beagle sprung from its nap and bounced up to the older woman’s feet. It put two paws up on her lap and said, “My name is Fidget. What’s your name?”

  This left the woman speechless. She clutched at her chest and gasped for breath.

  Eve scolded the beagle. “Fidget, get down. What have I told you about jumping on people?”

  “Your dog talks?” Jerry asked.

  Eve sighed and snapped back, “Yes. Why? Haven’t you ever seen a talking dog before?”

  “No,” Jerry said. Then he shrugged. It certainly wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d seen. “I did meet a talking cat once.”

  “Really?” Laura had found her voice. “That must have been amazing.”

  “Honestly? He was a bit of an asshole.” Jerry took another trunk from Andy. “It really took the excitement out of meeting a talking animal.”

  “Lady, can I smell you?” Fidget asked.

  The question caught Laura off guard, but she composed herself quickly and offered her hand to the dog.

  The beagle leaned in and took a quick sniff. This was followed by a considerably longer one that ended with the dog’s head under her hand.

  Laura stroked the dog’s head.

  Fidget’s tail started thumping against the boat. “I like you, lady.”

  Laura smiled. She scratched behind Fidget’s ear and the hound’s leg went crazy beating against the fiberglass flooring.

  “OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod! Satch! She knows about the spot, Satch!”

  The Great Dane wasn’t bothered by the beagle’s excitement for more than a moment.

  “Do you have any luggage, Ms.?” Jerry asked the new arrival.

  Eve turned slightly to display the pack on her back. “Just this.”

  “Can I take it for you?”

  “I’ll keep it, thanks,” she said as she settled into a seat across the way from Laura.

  The older woman had come to grips with the talking dog, and the two of them were quickly becoming best friends. Fidget had leapt up into her lap and was trying to direct her to a particular spot on his belly.

  This went on for the next fifteen minutes or so and saw the rest of the passengers arrive at the Boomer.

  A young man who couldn’t have been twenty had joined them with little more than the literal shirt on his back. He introduced himself as Connor and said little else. Even Fidget couldn’t get the young man talking. Connor disappeared into the cabin, spread out on the longest bench available and drifted off to sleep.

  Another man arrived and introduced himself as Mr. Dalton. He was older, though how old was hard to say. A year in the apocalypse was harder than a year before everything went to hell. Jerry would have put him in his late forties. He carried a wheeled carryon bag and a black portfolio case, and he was more than willing to talk.

  “What’s your name?” Fidget asked.

  “Holy shit. A talking dog?” the man responded, and looked around at the rest of the passengers to make sure he wasn’t the only one that heard the beagle.

  Eve grunted. “Okay. Enough. Is a talking dog really the weirdest thing you’ve seen since the world ended?” She was talking to everyone. Everyone in the boat and everyone who had ever flipped out over the dog. She stood up and continued to vent. “Because I’ve seen some pretty strange shit and a talking dog is, honestly, the least of it. So, if a cute little puppy with no social graces is going to freak you all out, I would suggest digging a hole and staying in it before the new world really blows your mind.”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am,” Mr. Dalton said. “It’s just that I’m always on the lookout for new business opportunities and this guy right here… you are a guy, right?”

  Fidget rolled over with a “yes, sir,” much to Eve’s embarrassment and everyone else’s amusement.

  “This guy right here could be huge.”

  “Did you hear that, Eve?” Fidget asked with a yip. “He said my guy thing is huge!”

  “That’s not what he said!” Eve scolded.

  “Yeah, that’s not what I said,” the man assured the entire boat. “I think people would line up to see him.”

  “He’s not an act.” She didn’t shout, but she said in a way that shut down all other discussion, and silence followed. But it wasn’t enough to calm her. She sat back down and tapped her foot restlessly against the deck.

  Jerry appeared from below deck a moment later, and she leapt back to her feet. “Hey, boatman. Can we shove off now?”

  He took a quick look around the boat and shook his head. “I’m sorry, we’re still waiting for two more passengers. They shouldn’t be long and as soon as they arrive, we’ll head out.”

  Eve sat down and closed herself off to the conversation.

  Fidget stepped closer to the man named Dalton. “Do you really think people would line up to see my thing?”

  Dalton coughed and corrected the dog, “That’s not what I meant, puppy.”

  “Fidget,” Eve snapped. “Stay away from him.”

  The beagle hung his head and turned away from the man. He sulked back to a sunny spot in between the two other dogs and laid down.

  Dalton was looking a little embarrassed by the dog’s question and looked to change the subject. He grabbed Jerry’s attention. “Hey, boatman.”

  “The name’s Mike, Mr. Dalton.”

  “Mike the Boatman. Got it. Tell me, how long to get to Cairo?”

  “A couple of days.”

  “A couple of days? You know what people love?” Dalton asked with a smile Jerry hadn’t seen since before the end of the world. The last time he had seen it, it came with a used car.

  “What’s that, Mr. Dalton?”

  “Speed. Oh, people love it. They can’t get enough of it. The old world is coming back and people aren’t going to sit around waiting like they used to. So, what’s say we get there today?”

  “It’s a couple of days, Mr. Dalton. If you’d like to find another boat, you’re not going to hurt my feelings.”

  Dalton didn’t reply with words, he just shook his head and smiled like he knew better than anyone else. He sat down and pulled a notebook from his wheeled luggage before scribbling a note to himself that was most likely about faster boats.

  “Why so long?” Laura asked. “I’m not complaining, of course. I thought it was just downriver.”

  “It’s several hundred miles downriver,” Jerry explained. “And we have to take things cautiously. But don’t worry. Cairo isn’t going anywhere.”

  “Well we might as well get started,” Dalton said. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but time is money again.”

  “We’re still waiting for those passengers,” Andy reminded him.

  Dalton pulled his fingers through his hair and fell backward onto the padded bench. “Fine. But if they aren’t here in the next fifteen minutes, we leave.”

  “This isn’t 10th grade Chemistry, Mr. Dalton.” Jerry said. “This is my boat and we’ll stick to my schedule.”

  “But, oh my God, why? Just go.”

  “It adds a bit of normalcy to the world,” Jerry said. “And the more normal things I see, the better I feel.”

  “I like normal things, too,” Fidget said from the dog huddle.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t sell a single copy.” The sound of the whining was constant, and it built along the dock as it got closer to the boat.

  “They weren’t in any mood to buy, Mr. Caine.”

  “Then you put them in the mood to buy, Lana,” Thomas Caine replied. “That’s what you do. You put me in a good mood all the time.”

  “But no one tore apart your business.”

  “Oh yeah. What do you call selling zero copies? That’s tearing apart my business,” the actor said, using overly dramatic finger quotes for words that didn’t need them. “From here on out, no more free screenings. Now where’s this boat?”

  “Oh God, no,” Eve muttered as the actor began to look around the docks.

  “We’re looking for the Boomer,” his assistant said and looked around.

  The sound of disgust Eve made was loud enough to draw the actor’s attention.

  “Well, hello.” Caine smiled at her as he stepped onto the boat. “I’d hoped we’d see each other on the river and here we are.”

  “Here we are,” Eve matched the insincerity of his smile.

  “Hi, I’m Lana,” the woman said and put out her hand. “We didn’t get a chance to meet. I’m Mr. Caine’s ass⁠—”

  “Lana, quit bothering her. Get the bags,” Thomas said without taking his eyes off of Eve.

  “Mr. Caine’s ass? What kind of job is that?” Fidget asked as he approached the actor.

  Lana smiled when the dog sniffed her hand. “Oh, it’s you again, little fella.”

  Caine rolled his eyes. “Yes, Lana. It’s a talking dog. Let’s not make a big deal out of it. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

  “I’ve never heard of a talking dog before,” she said, and let the beagle sniff her palm. She giggled when Fidget licked it.

  “Of course you have,” Caine said. “I told you about it just half an hour ago.”

  “I meant before then.”

  “Listen, Lana, the point is, those bags aren’t going to get themselves.”

  Jerry emerged from below and spotted the new passengers. “Are you Thomas Caine?”

  The actor acted embarrassed for Eve’s sake. “I am. You must have recognized me from my role as the farmer who defends his family from raiders in Raising Hope?”

  “No, I recognized you from the passenger list. Once we get your stuff on board, we’ll head out.”

  Caine smiled broadly and waved to Lana to hurry.

  Jerry spotted the pile of luggage the woman was standing in and moved to help. “This is a lot of bags. You are aware of my policy?”

  “Of course,” Caine said with a wave of his hand.

  Jerry looked at Lana. “He has no idea, does he?”

  Lana gave a slight shake of her head. “But I know that you don’t allow anyone to transport guns, drugs or lots of valuables on board. Don’t worry, this is all stuff to help promote Mr. Caine’s newest movie.”

  Jerry nodded and took the bag from her hand.

  Andy stepped onto the dock to help as well.

  “You’re an actor?” Laura squinted as she studied the man. Maybe she thought she had seen him in a movie that she had squinted through, or maybe she thought it helped her think by squeezing concentration into her eyes. Either way she couldn’t place the man.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said as his smile returned. “Maybe you recognize me from my role as the unnamed time traveler who returns to stop the apocalypse in Unboom.”

  “No, I don’t think we saw that one,” Laura said with some concern. She wanted desperately to recognize him. Then she started snapping and pointing, and the actor sighed. “You’re the Librarian! That’s who you are!”

  “I have made other movies and⁠—”

  “You are the Librarian.” Her excitement built in direct reaction to her certainty. “We just love those movies, don’t we, Andy?”

  “That’s right.” Andy dropped a duffle bag at Caine’s feet. “The hero of the apocalypse. That’s the line, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, that’s… I’ve done more movies. I did one that was more of a love story and… Lana, break out my movie posters, won’t you?”

  Jerry helped the young woman get the rest of the luggage on board and began to pull up the mooring ropes. He had bent over to untie the second rope when a worn and weathered boot appeared next to his hand. He ignored it and untied the rope.

  “This boat going to Cairo?” The boot’s owner asked.

  “It is,” Jerry said and moved to the next rope.

  “Boys!” The man in the boot shouted across the docks. “Found one!”

  It wasn’t long before five more men joined him. Each looked half drunk and full-on mean. There were a lot of shaved heads and shitty tattoos across the bunch, and they all stood there with a growl just beneath the surface.

  “I’m sorry, fellas,” Jerry said and moved to the next rope. “This ride’s full. I’m sure there’ll be another boat heading out soon.”

  The boot stomped on the rope and almost caught Jerry’s fingers. He looked up the laces and into the drunk’s face. It looked a lot like the boot. Worn. Scratched. Probably had some shit on it. The only difference was the face only had two eyes.

  “We don’t want another boat, friend.” The man wore a smile that was devoid of warmth. “We like your boat.”

  “Well, I am flattered. In that case, I’ll be back the middle of next week.”

  The man even laughed without humor. “I’m sure a couple of these good people wouldn’t mind getting off.”

  Jerry stepped up onto the dock. He and the man were about the same height. He looked at the entourage and the man they had gathered around. Their center of attention was bearded and bald and wore a black eye and cauliflower ear like others wore jewelry. “I’m afraid not. You see, these folks all booked in advance and it wouldn’t be fair to them. No matter how much I like you guys.”

  The entourage grumbled. Some of them whispered in the bald man’s ear. For his part, the bald man just stared silently at Jerry.

  The man in the boot smiled and put his arm around Jerry’s shoulder. He whispered, “Don’t you know who this man is?”

  “Oh, please tell me,” Jerry said with a smile.

  “That there is the Champ.”

  “Yeah?”

  “He’s undefeated in the ring.”

  “No kidding.”

  “He’s undefeated out of the ring.”

  Jerry nodded along. “That’s even more impressive because out of the ring is a much bigger place than inside the ring.”

  The sarcasm wasn’t lost on the Champ’s handler. He pointed a crooked finger at the Champ.

  “He’s the baddest man in the wasteland. The bare-knuckled bastard. The one-punch punk. Et cetera and et cetera, lots of fancy names but they all essentially mean you lose all your teeth.”

  “Really? Well, I had no idea that’s who he was!”

  “Now that you know…” The handler smiled. “We’d like a ride.”

  “I would be honored to give the Champ a ride,” Jerry said as he dropped back onto the boat. “Next week, when I get back.”

  He bent over to untie the mooring line, and the boot stomped down on the cleat. Jerry felt movement behind him and glanced at his passengers. The older couple was watching the exchange with concern. Dalton was pretending to read a book. Caine spoke to his assistant loudly enough that he could block out the exchange and have deniability if things went south. The woman, though, had shifted her footing and slowly repositioned herself so her feet were under her. She was ready to spring into action.

  Jerry sighed and turned back to the goon in the boot. He looked up at the man and pointed to the Champ. “So, he’s the Champ?”

  “That’s right.”

  “And they call him the bare-knuckled bastard?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do they call you his little bitch?”

  “Watch it, friend.”

  Jerry moved onto the next rope, and the handler moved around the dock to follow. He waited for the man to arrive and placed his boot on the boat’s edge. “Here’s the thing,” Jerry said as he set to work with the rope. “I’m pretty sure the Champ would lay me out cold. You said they called him the one-punch punk?”