Well elves are supposed to be happy and full of fun and you're a bitter shrew.” Julian narrows his eyes, staring at me, daring me to argue. I don’t, I am hating this outfit, and the little pants are riding up in places no outfit should ride up.

  “I take it back, you make a perfect Santa, I think you’ve put on a few pounds over the last few months, you’re filling out quite nicely in the butt, and those thighs are definitely thicker.”

  “Bitch!” Julian huffs and looks at Grace. “She is lying, right? Please tell me she is lying.”

  “She is lying?”

  “Or maybe Grace is,” I shrug, finally satisfied with the rise I’ve gotten out of one of my best friends. Julian is so much fun to torment.

  “That’s it, I’m going on a diet,” Julian spins around on his heels, throws his hands up in the air and marches off stage.

  “You are so mean,” She says at my side.

  “Come on, tell me that wasn’t fun,” I asked her.

  “Okay yes, I’ll admit it was a little fun,” she holds her hand up with two of her fingers an inch apart. “Maybe that much.

  “I widen the gap and we both laugh before walking off to find our best friend. It was time to ease his mind and get this show on the road. I am so ready to get these pants off, because I’ve spent the last hour with a wedgy the size of Texas and I’m over it.

  “Ah, great performance babe,” Colton walks up to the edge of the stage and holds out his hand to me. I only glare and his smile widens. “I especially love the little hip wiggle making the bells on your shoes ring.

  “Keep it up and every time you walk that same bell will be ringing when I stick my shoe up your ass.”

  “Oh baby, you know how I get when you talk dirty to me.”

  “Couch,” I say and he opens his mouth only to quickly close it again.

  “That’s what I thought,” it's the one word I can say that ends any torment he’s offering. He had to sleep on the couch one night when I refused to let him in our bedroom after he pushed me over the edge. There was no coming back that night, I was furious and needed time to cool off. That was the one and only time Colton slept on the couch. He hated it, and vowed never to do it again. He also threatened to take the door off the hinges so that I could never lock him out of our room again but it was only a threat and never made it beyond that point.

  “How about we head over to Lucky’s for a drink with everyone?”

  “Let me change.”

  “Or you couldn’t...” I glare at him. “Come on babe, you look fucking cute.”

  I don’t bite back, instead I spin around and walk toward Grace’s classroom to get out of this ridiculous getup and back into something that makes me feel like myself again.

  Next year I swear I am hiding out; some place Grace will never find me during this holiday activity. Apparently that is what everyone else does, but I’m still learning. Grace is very convincing when she wants to be. She also gave me those sad, I'm pregnant and this is stressing me out eyes.

  She is good! Really good!

  fifteen

  Colton

  “What in the hell do you mean, there’s no bachelor party?” I stare at the guys like they’ve lost their damn minds. Moving around the table I take each one of them in and then stop on Garrett. “Seriously, this is the last stretch of the single life and you aren’t having a fucking party... Nothing?”

  “There is too much planning, with the holidays and everything.”

  “There is never not enough time to have the last hurrah!”

  “You didn’t have a bachelor party,” Garrett tossed back.

  “That’s because this asshole lived his freedoms out over and over again for years. No bachelor party would have given him something he hadn’t already had ten times over.” Terrance points over at me.

  “You make me sound like a gigolo.” Colt states.

  “If the shoe fits,” Landon adds with a chuckle.

  “Remind me why I hang around all you dicks?”

  “Because no one else can tolerate you,” Rhett shrugs like the answer is so obvious.

  “Friday night,” I ignore them all and turn my attention back to Garrett. “We go out for drinks, maybe Mercy, then we—,”

  “I don’t need a stripper,” Garrett interrupts me.

  “Come on now, give me some credit.” As if I’d ever even chance that. I know if I even made the attempt I’d have six very pissed off women coming at me at once. There would be no escape, and one of those women shares my bed. I didn’t want to sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life. My wife can be salty, she would wait until I thought I was forgiven and let my guard down. Then she would strike and I’d be permanently scarred for life.

  I still have not fully tested the waters with my wife’s anger, but something tells me she could do some damage if she really wanted to. Besides, the last thing I want is to get cut off. I enjoy my girl entirely too much to not be able to have her.

  “No female strippers,” I state, giving Garrett my word. “Just guys hanging out, showing how proud we are of our little bear.” Garrett is the youngest, he is the last to get married and the fact that he is marrying the girl he has been in love with since before he hit puberty is awesome.

  “Fine,” Garrett gives in, “a few hours.”

  “Ah hell,” I hear someone grumble and I immediately cover my ears to muffle the sound. My head feels like it has a million and one drummer boys banging all at once.

  “Why does my ass hurt?” Someone else groans and I roll over onto my stomach, pushing my body upward. Slowly I get onto my knees but still haven’t opened my eyes.

  “What the fuck is that?” Rhett growls, “It’s not coming off.”

  I peek through squinted eyes and see him rubbing at something on his from hip. But what really gains my attention is the skimpy pink shirt he is wearing. It’s tight, too short and his entire stomach is showing. It’s more of a belly shirt than anything, but I’m not sure that’s what it's meant to be.

  “What are you wearing?” I ask, yet he continues to scrub and something on his hip.

  “That’s Kyra’s,” Garrett says from somewhere in the room. “Why are you wearing my fiancée’s shirt?” Rhett freezes and slowly starts to analyze his clothing.

  “He dropped pizza on his,” Terrance sits up from behind the couch. “ I remember you grabbing it out of the bag in your truck and telling him to wear it.”

  “Where did I go looking like this?” Rhett seems horrified.

  “Fuck my ass burns,” I glance over to find Mike rubbing his ass cheek.

  “That sounds like a you problem,” I’m not sure I want to know why my brother-in-law's ass is currently burning. “Call your wife and have her take a look.”

  “How did we get here?” Landon, face down on the couch, ignores everyone and everything and slowly sits up. His hair is sticking out in every direction and if I’m not mistaken he has a black eye.

  The door to the bunkhouse at Bud and Gemma’s flies open and there in the doorway is Reed and Gavin, with my dad peering just over Reed’s left shoulder. “The dead have risen,” Gavin chuckles. “Never thought we’d be picking up the six of you from the local jail.”

  “What?” I ask, now fully alert.

  “Apparently you can’t keep your pants on,” my father says to me and I know I had to have heard him wrong. “Thankfully you left your boxers on.”

  That is when I look down to see I’m in fact only wearing boxers and a t shirt, and one sock. On top of my bare foot I see a smudge and lean over to have a closer look.

  “Garrett,” Gavin says with a chuckle. “You may have to explain to your wife why your bare ass prints are smudging the windows of Sugarland’s bakery.”

  “What?” Garrett suddenly looks like he might throw up.

  “You thought Lily Mae would find it funny,” Terrance explains, holding his head with his hands.

  “What did we get arrested for?” Landon asks.

  “You and Terrance thought it would be funny to run through the town square singing at the top of your lungs, and then dumbass started stripping to the tune you were carrying.” When my father says dumbass he points to me. “And you didn’t get arrested, just taken into the station to avoid any more incidents.”

  “What the hell happened to your eye,” Mike asks Landon. “And seriously why the fuck is my ass cheek on fire?”

  Before any of us can say anything, Mike drops his pants and looks back at his ass.

  “What the shit?” He growls. “Who tattooed my ass?”

  I hear a chuckle coming from the three men still standing in the doorway watching all the crazy take place and I remember the smudge on my foot.

  I lean in and look closer and that’s when I see it more clearly. “A donut,” I’m so confused, “why would I get a damn donut tattooed on the top of my foot?”

  “With sprinkles,” Garrett chuckles as he points.

  “What is that?” Mike is still looking back at his ass, practically spinning in circles in the middle of the room to see his butt cheek.

  “A banana,” Landon clarifies leaning in to look at Mike’s ass, “half peeled.” Like it’s no big deal that this big gorilla of a man has a banana permanently tattooed on his ass. “Seems fitting,” Land adds and Mike glares at him.

  “So you have a Banana,” Rhett says, looking down at his waist, but speaking to Mike. “And Colton has a donut,” he sounds so discouraged as he continues. “And I have a blue M&M.”

  That is when he looks up but points to his hip. “There is no logical reason as to why I’d get that.”

  “Wait a minute,” Terrance stands, and starts removing his shirt, then unbuckling his pants.

  “Slow down boy,” Gavin laughs. “I think there was enough nudity last night.

  “Santa Claus,” Terrance wails, making me think for a second that Grace is here too. He’s starting to even sound like his wife. “Of all the things... I’d rather have the donut.” He mumbles, making all of us laugh.

  “Shit,” everyone in the room looks toward Garret as he sits in the middle of the room, his eyes wide with horror. “If you all have tattoos, that could only mean one thing.” He and Landon share a look and then immediately start searching their bodies.

  Garret says pizza and at the same time Landon says turtle, and then they sag in defeat.

  “Apparently you all thought it’d be fun to choose each other's tattoos.” Colton chuckled. “Thankfully Rex wouldn’t put them on the center of your chest or the back of your necks like you all asked him too. He went small, said it had to be hip, ass cheek or below the ankle.”

  “Why didn’t he tell us no?” Rhett grumbled.

  “Because you were all pretty persistent and explained that it was to celebrate the last man standing. Giving him some story about brotherhood and shit.”

  We each share a look.

  “I’m thinking most of last night can be kept between the nine of us, but there are a few things that you’ll have to explain.” Gavin states wearing a pleased smile.

  “Tattoo’s,” Reed tells us.

  “Black eye,” my dad points to Landon.

  “I don’t even know how I got it.” Land states.

  I raise my hand as a flashback hits me. “You told me to throw it.”

  “Throw what?” Landon narrows his eyes at me. “Can of beer.”

  “But you threw it like a football,” Rhett says, and it’s almost like he too is having the same flashback. “The way you hit the ground, rolling around and groaning,” he chuckles. “And the noise it made.” Landon still looks displeased.

  “I told you no bachelor party,” Garrett flops back in the recliner. “Will someone give me a ride to Sugarland? And hope Gran has some Windex and an extra roll of paper towels.”

  We all burst out laughing, and I know that last night, though I barely remember what all took place, was one helluva night. We have the tattoos to prove it.

  garrett and kyra

  sixteen

  Kyra

  The six of us, plus our best pal Julian are up and moving after a pajama party with lots of wine, junk food and a Christmas movie marathon. Gran loaded us up with so many sweets that I’m afraid I may not fit in my wedding dress.

  I gorged myself, we all did. But everything was so yummy.

  “A fresh pot is on,” AJ announces from the kitchen and all of us move. I got too little sleep, my ribs hurt from laughter, and I was overjoyed with the welcome I’d been offered.

  I grew up with Gran, my mother not being what she should have been for me. I felt more alone than not, but now I’m overwhelmed, but in the greatest way. Everyone took me in like I’d been a part of family from the start and for the first time in my life I have sisters and brothers.

  The nervous energy I’ve felt, wondering if me being the last to join would mean all the history they’ve shared would make it harder for me to belong was real. But that isn’t the case.

  “We’ve got donuts, cinnamon rolls and,” Gretchen peers inside the third box. “Blueberry, banana nut and apple cinnamon muffins,” she turns with her eyes wide. “Your gran is a goddess.”

  “Please don’t tell her that,” I stress, “her ego is already overboard.”

  “I love your Gran,” Julian declares. “Lily Mae is such a riot, like a breath of fresh air. Her humor, and sass, oh my,” he laughs. “It used to surprise me, but now, nothing is a shock. In fact I expect her to be crazy and if she’s quiet that's when I worry.”

  “She’s never quiet,” I mumble. Maddison laughs like she thinks I’m joking but I’m not. I hear a phone ringing in the distance and then Chloe saying hello.

  She ducks out of the room so I figure it's Landon calling and I know it's about time I get ready to head home. I’m sure Garrett is wondering where I am.

  “Oh my gawd!” Grace mumbles around a mouth full of cinnamon roll. “Heaven,” she adds. “I need a dozen of these twice a week.”

  “Maybe you’re having twins,” Gretchen shrugs as Grace’s eyes grow wide. “I’m just saying."

  “Don’t say!” Grace points at her and offers her the dirtiest glare making anyone close enough to witness it laugh.

  “Guys,” we all turn to find Chloe standing in the doorway with a blank stare. “That was my dad,” she adds, taking a few steps closer. “We need to get dressed and head over to Gemma and Bud’s, apparently there is something we all need to see.”

  My stomach feels like it drops to my feet as worry takes over. What if something happened to one of the guys?

  “He said to make sure I let everyone know that no one is hurt,” she takes in a breath, “well besides Landon who seems to be sporting a black eye.

  She glances over at Gretchen. “Given to him by your husband.”

  Everyone is silent, looking around at one another unsure of what to say.

  “Apparently there is a story behind it and plenty more questions we’ll have. But none of the guys know we’re coming, because my dad, Uncle Gavin and Uncle Reed think it will be more fun for us to surprise them.”

  “Why am I suddenly scared?” Grace mumbles, still chewing her yummy goodness, showing no signs of putting it down. My stomach is coiled in knots.

  “I’m not scared,” Julian jumps up rubbing his hands together eagerly. “I’m excited.”

  The six of us look at him like he’s insane and all he does is smile. “Move it ladies, we’ve got puzzles to solve and yummy men to surprise.” He is already grabbing his keys and heading for the door before any of us can even get our shoes on.

  Forget getting dressed, it looks like we’re all going in our pajamas.

  “I’m at a loss for words,” I say as I stare around the bunkhouse. From the looks of it, so is everyone else. Each and every one of the guys looks like they’ve been battered and beaten. Not so much because they are sporting bruises, well besides Landon, but because they look like shit. Dark circles under their eyes, hair a mess, moaning and groaning with every move they make.

  “A beer can,“ Chloe says, breaking the silence. “A full can of beer,” she says again nodding, still seemingly confused.

  “I guess,” Landon wrinkles up his forehead which triggers his eyes to bunch up and then he groans in pain.

  “You thought it was a good idea to throw a full can of beer at a drunk guy.” Maddison asks her brother.

  Colton chuckles, “Hey in my defense I was too, and I don’t make sane choices while drunk.”

  “You don’t make them sober either.” Gretchen tells her husband to get a scowl from him. “You can glare at me all you want but I can assure you that there is not a person in this room that will disagree with me.”

  There’s not a single no heard throughout the room and all Colton can do is flip everyone off.

  "And there’s more.” Reed states from across the room and they all shoot him a look that indicates he has already said too much. But that doesn’t stop him. “Isn’t that right boys?”

  “Oh my God I am afraid to ask.” Grace sighs, covering her face with her hands.

  “Come on now, don’t keep the ladies waiting.” Ben, Chloe's dad chuckles while he, Gavin and Reed all cross their arms over their chests waiting for the show.

  Again my stomach flips.

  Then as if it's all planned out each of the guys simultaneously expose their tattoos and silence settles over the bunk house.

  You could hear a pin drop...

  They are all so weird, odd, crazy, off the wall objects that truly I can’t find the meaning behind. Except the banana on Mike, everyone does call him gorilla. But Garrett, why pizza? I don’t get it.

  I don’t know what comes over me, I start laughing and no matter how hard I try to stop, I can’t. I grab hold of my ribs, bend at the waist and the tears run over my cheeks. Everyone must think I’m insane, I feel insane.

  “You’ve all broken Kyra,” Grace says in a huff, throwing her hands in the air. “Poor girl doesn’t know which way to go. And Terrance,” I glance up just in time to see her point at her husband. “Santa Claus, really? Why would you choose that?”